Modern Elluke (1)
In the end, I never did settle on a name for the party that would join me in Solar Scepter.
Metaverse Hero Party had been a personal favorite, but the viewers' vehement opposition left me no choice but to abandon it.
"We'll decide on a name later. I'll be signing off for today, so if anyone has a good idea, please share it on the next stream."
After ending the broadcast, I called Seoyun over at once. There was something the two of us needed to discuss in private.
"How is the document screening coming along?"
"I've been going through all of them, but…"
Seoyun let out a short, incredulous laugh, then pulled out her smartphone and turned the screen toward me.
"…Are all of these applicants?"
"Yeah. A total of 1,339 people applied."
When I'd heard that more people had applied than expected, I'd figured it would still only be around a hundred. The reaction when I'd announced it on stream hadn't been all that enthusiastic. On top of that, I'd been deliberately vague about the salary, so I hadn't expected much interest.
And yet applicants had poured in far beyond anything I'd imagined. How was this even possible? Even I didn't think the terms were particularly appealing.
"Could this be… because of me?"
A reason suddenly presented itself. It was my appearance. That was the most rational explanation. They would certainly be drawn in — it was a chance to work under a boss of uncommon beauty, after all.
I can't let personal feelings get mixed into Church business…
I was hiring them to serve as a check on me, so it would be a problem if they were smitten by my looks. I was genuinely grateful for the sentiment, but anyone who complimented my face during the interview would have to be rejected.
But what if that meant everyone got rejected? The situation was growing awkward. Being too beautiful was a problem in its own right.
"It is because of you, Oppa."
Seoyun agreed with me almost immediately. She seemed to think, just as I did, that applicants had flocked in because of my looks.
"If you stick close to a returnee, there's plenty of money to be made, so people just apply first and think later. I bet even people who don't watch the stream piled in."
"…Ah."
Apparently it had been a delusion all my own.
"You were planning to filter out the ones who don't believe in the Goddess and are just after the money yourself, right?"
"Of course!"
Seoyun's theory was far more plausible, so I decided to make it my own. A Pope must always be a person of rational judgment, after all.
"You had all of this in mind from the start? As expected of the Pope."
"……"
My conscience wouldn't allow me to say a word. I simply wore a composed expression, as if it were nothing of note. Then I seized an opening and naturally changed the subject.
"By the way, is my naming sense really that terrible? Honestly, something like Cyber Hero Party is rather impressive, isn't it?"
"No. It's genuinely bad."
Seoyun shook her head with firm conviction, delivering her verdict without a hint of mercy. It was exactly the same reaction as the viewers'. At that, even the last flicker of hope I'd been clinging to went out. And then, unbidden, a question rose in my mind.
Has my sense of style really gone stale?
Lately I kept getting the feeling that I'd fallen behind the times. Thirty-six was still relatively young, wasn't it? How had it come to this?
I cast my mind back over the years — twenty years in that other world, and the days I'd lived as Park Si-woo. Turning those memories over slowly, I suddenly recalled a fact I had somehow failed to acknowledge until now.
My real age isn't thirty-six, is it?
I had possessed this body around the age of sixteen. But because my personality and memories had fused with those of the original Clitia, we were for all practical purposes one person, and I had considered myself thirty-six. I'd thought that was the correct calculation.
Thinking about it now, the math was wrong. I had to add the years I'd lived as Park Si-woo to get my actual age. And my age before the possession was…
…Let's just go with thirty-six.
Digging any deeper seemed likely to hurt for no good reason, so I stopped. That kind of mental self-harm was best avoided. I gave my head a hard shake to snap myself out of it, then patted Seoyun on the shoulder.
"Please continue your hard work. The Goddess is watching."
This was the time to worry about practical problems more important than my age. Even as I told myself that, a spike of unease shot through me. At this rate, I might keep hearing that I was behind the times for the rest of my life.
It had nothing whatsoever to do with my goal of securing fame, but it would make my image look ridiculous. As Pope, that was something I could not accept.
This won't do.
I was going to need special training. If I wanted to lead the Church well going forward, I needed to become a Pope who was ahead of the times. I immediately fired off a message to my mentor in contemporary culture.
If I didn't understand them, I would simply memorize them — like a student cramming English vocabulary for an exam.
"That won't work."
Beside me, Seoyun — who had been watching the conversation over my shoulder — let out a snicker.
"Why won't it work?"
"The fact that you don't know why is the problem."
I had no idea what she meant and could only blink at her. In the meantime, a new message arrived from Ha In-ha.
The same opinion as Seoyun. I asked her why, and the reply that arrived shortly after was a spectacle unto itself.
"……"
I stared at the chat window in silence for a moment, then moved my fingers.
Even without wearing the Sun Blocker, the automatic speech-correction curse did not apply to my fingers.
Ha In-ha proceeded to lay out a scheme on my behalf — a gambit just interesting enough to stop me from spamming her with a string of middle-finger emojis.
A text arrived saying the packages I'd ordered through a mobile shopping app had been delivered, so I went straight out and brought them in. All of it was clothing.
These clothes were the tools for executing the strategy Ha In-ha had given me. I intended to wear modern casual wear on stream, where until now I had only ever appeared in papal vestments.
A masterstroke to demonstrate through fashion just how trendy I was. A secret weapon that would set the hearts of viewers — who otherwise thought of nothing but mocking me — racing in their chests.
I should have done this from the start.
I'd tried using currently popular slang and gotten treated like an old person for my trouble. It was deeply unfair. I had clearly been trying too hard to catch up with the latest trends. From now on, I resolved to abandon that greed.
Instead, I would polish my appearance — to be reborn looking clean-cut and modern, in a way that still befit the dignity of a Pope.
This is the right call.
My looks were still outstanding, barely different from ten years ago, so my outward appearance was indisputably young. This was not a face that could ever be called middle-aged. So long as I watched my mouth as carefully as possible, the outdated image that had been stuck to me would gradually peel away.
"Mommy, what's that?"
I was still organizing my thoughts when Erina came trotting over to ask. I smiled at my eldest and said,
"Erina, watch closely."
I immediately began trying on the newly purchased clothes one by one.
First up were the jeans that had the most reviews on the shopping app. The pair I'd borrowed from Seoyun last time had been tight, but these were made of a stretchy material and felt comfortable.
"How is it?"
I gathered the family and asked for their opinions. The reactions came back in completely different flavors.
"Pretty!"
"Blue doesn't suit you."
Erina cheered. Evaila was negative. Typical of twins with opposite personalities.
"Oh."
Next, Liam — still holding Rohan — looked me up and down and gave a thumbs-up.
"Nice figure."
"…Please look at the clothes, not the body."
"Can't say I noticed the clothes."
Utterly useless. And from how lukewarm he sounded, it didn't seem like he cared for them much anyway. Of course, Liam's opinion didn't matter. What the people of this world thought was far more important than the take of a native from the other side.
The jeans had a lot of reviews, so they were bound to look fine. Telling myself that, I moved on.
Next was a white blouse — the item that came up first when I sorted products by ranking. I asked what they thought again, and my daughters gave answers more or less identical to before. And Liam was Liam.
"Oh, nice figure."
"……"
Once again, I failed to get a satisfying reaction. Still, I refused to be discouraged and changed into the next outfit.
"Please evaluate this one as well."
This time it was a bright, cheerful dress. Honestly, it was a bit much, but I had gone ahead and bought it on a bold impulse.
"Wow!"
"It's short."
Erina and Evaila's reactions still weren't all that different from before. The difference was that my second daughter, who had been expressionless through the first two outfits, now frowned slightly.
"Evaila, what do you mean by short?"
"The skirt length."
"Ah. That."
It was, admittedly, a short dress. The hem sat above the knee. By the standards of the other world, that made it no different from a miniskirt — which meant it was more than enough to change the look in a former Hero's eyes.
"I'll take that one."
Liam nodded slowly. His expression was thoroughly pleased, with a certain slyness mixed in. The gaze made me uncomfortable, so I decided to change into the next outfit at once.
Last was the athletic wear Ha In-ha had recommended I buy. They were called "leggings" — pants that accentuated the lower body to an embarrassing degree. I'd heard people even went out in public wearing these, but I could never. That was practically exhibitionism.
"Please tell me what you think of this one."
I ignored Liam, who was useless anyway, and spoke while looking only at my daughters.
"This is the one!"
At that moment, Liam strode right up to me, beaming. He was so delighted he was even bouncing the Rohan in his arms this way and that.
"Is this one to your liking?"
"People wear stuff like that around here all the time?"
"So it would seem. According to Agent Ha In-ha, people even climb mountains in these."
At my words, that scoundrel broke into another enormous grin.
"This world really is a wonderful place!"
"……"
It was the most energetic I had heard his voice since we crossed over to this world.