Ordinary Human Lee Seo-yun (1)
I would become the unstoppable dump truck that conquers YouTube.
By doing so, I would dismantle every channel that exploited me as a tool to boost views.
It was not about my personal ambitions but a measure to establish order. If I did not correct it right from the start, the line might be crossed sooner or later.
In other words, it was a preemptive action to prevent problems that could arise in the future.
Yet my carefully conceived YouTube channel operation plan encountered a speed bump before long.
“No way.”
Seo-yun, who had heard every thought in my mind, shook her head with a furrowed brow.
Her strict gesture was as if to say, “Don’t even dream of it.”
I found it odd as a papal candidate.
“Why not?”
“It’s too radical.”
“I haven’t even explained the specifics yet.”
“I already know. It’s obvious.”
Seo-yun flicked my arm and continued.
“Do you really need to provoke attention?”
“If it’s necessary, I have to do it no matter how reluctant I am.”
“It doesn’t seem necessary….”
“Miss Seo-yun, please do not worry too much. I am always striving to be rational.”
I offered her a gentle smile, the one I had practiced first after becoming pope — the compassionate smile.
One such smile had toppled every archbishop who opposed my every opinion.
“….”
Yet for some reason, Seo-yun stared at me with a suspicious gaze without a flicker of worry.
Then she cautiously spoke up.
“Can I speak honestly?”
“Of course.”
“Big brother, you sound just like Liam right now.”
“…What?”
Liam? Why the sudden vulgarity?
“Are you planning to grab my hair and fight?”
I never expected Seo-yun to have such crude language. I could overlook light insults, but calling me Liam was too harsh.
Although the shock was great, I calmed myself in a papal manner and reflected.
What kind of person had Liam been over the past month that Seo-yun had witnessed?
A lazy, free-spending NEET who played all day.
A man without a spine, immovable as a rock.
A former delinquent who had straightened up and turned into just another thug.
“…Am I really on his level?”
Suddenly my mind flashed.
I reviewed the entire plan from the beginning. Only then did I understand why Seo-yun had stopped me.
She had not merely been trying to dissuade me.
If I had pushed forward with my original plan, I would have undoubtedly achieved tremendous results.
But it would have been far from my ultimate goal. What I wanted was not commonplace low-grade attention but pure fame.
“Thank you for stopping me.”
I had almost forgotten my purpose and gone astray. Without her, I would have.
Eventually Seo-yun smiled faintly and flicked my arm again.
“Usually you’re so calm, but why do you suddenly rev up like this? Isn’t that unbecoming of a pope?”
“It’s my nature. Even if I try to suppress it, a born temperament always surfaces.”
Since becoming pope, I had lived by suppressing my temper. It was like training a hunting dog to behave as a tame pet.
Thanks to the blood I shed in the effort, I could at least maintain the dignity of a pope.
But I still could not completely extinguish my temper.
“You two are like siblings.”
“…That’s too harsh.”
But no matter how I looked at it, I was far more rational than Liam.
“Please, do not compare me to Liam. It really hurts.”
“But you said something wrong. You were just about to be as radical as Liam right now.”
“….”
Since I could not deny it, I simply nodded and pondered her earlier words.
‘A pope should not act that way.’
According to Seo-yun’s point, a pope must not speak roughly or act violently.
Always calm, always rational.
If I did not wish to tarnish the sacred honor of the Goddess, I had to suppress all kinds of impulses as much as possible.
That was why “speech auto-correction” was active on me. It was to forcibly change the vulgar tone that had already stuck to my mouth.
The words became polite, but the problem was the actions.
“How did they handle this in the other world?”
“The assistant who always sat beside me desperately tried to restrain me.”
I was always the type to act rationally, but I sometimes ran wildly.
Usually, when that happened, the archbishop guided me back to the right path. Like Seo-yun does now.
But since the archbishop was in the other world, I needed someone to restrain my impulsive speech.
Fortunately, the right person was right beside me.
I stared directly into Seo-yun’s face, which looked especially trustworthy today, and asked outright.
“Miss Seo-yun, would you consider becoming my manager?”
“…Manager?”
“Yes. Just stay by my side and pull me back when I stray, like now.”
Since I lacked divine power and faith for the title of archbishop, manager was the most realistic suggestion.
Naturally, I had no intention of exploiting her for free.
“The salary will be higher than what you receive at your current company. How about it?”
“….”
Seo-yun hesitated with a troubled expression. She must have been surprised by the sudden request.
But since she did not immediately refuse, it meant she had some interest.
Since I could easily coax her, I opened my mouth again.
“You are more than qualified to serve as the papal aide. You are the eldest disciple who first came to believe in the Goddess in this world.”
“That’s not it. It’s too sudden…”
“I don’t need to decide right now. Take your time to think it over.”
After all, hiring a manager was not an urgent matter; there was no need to decide immediately. It could proceed slowly.
I looked into Seo-yun’s thoughtful eyes before glancing back at my smartphone.
‘YouTube….’
I had abandoned the idea of becoming a runaway holy dump truck, but it felt a little wasteful to give up completely. There were quite attractive parts to it.
If I modestly utilized my value that existed just by being me, I would surely earn money.
It was not merely pocket money, but real earnings. Perhaps I could earn enough to cover the operation costs of our sect.
‘But it’s a shame.’
No matter how I thought, starting with YouTube could only be bad. If operated well, I could achieve the kind of fame I desired.
Moreover, while clips featuring me arbitrarily were doing well, I could not simply stay still as the one involved.
I continued thinking for a moment and then spoke softly.
“Miss Seo-yun, I have come up with a new YouTube operation plan.”
“Tell me.”
Since she had nearly made a mistake once before, Seo-yun gave me an untrustworthy look.
Nevertheless, I opened all five fingers without caring.
This time I was truly confident.
“Once every five videos, I will naturally provoke attention.”
“…Natural provocation?”
“High-quality papal provocation, of course. It will be on a completely different level from those cyber-lecturer types.”
I held Seo-yun’s hand and lifted the corner of my mouth in a smile.
“How is that? This is definitely more reasonable than before, isn’t it?”
“….”
Seo-yun remained silent for a long while before letting out a sigh.
“Once every seven videos.”
“Perfect. Good.”
“I don’t like it.”
For a moment Seo-yun stared at me fixedly, then slumped her shoulders and muttered weakly.
“I guess I’ll have to be the manager….”
It was a strangely abrupt acceptance.
***
Although Seo-yun had agreed to be my manager, it was not right now. I could not simply quit my current job.
It would take quite some time to recruit a new employee and complete all the transfer procedures.
So, I planned to begin actively managing only from at least a month later. From then on, YouTube operation would start in earnest.
Until then, I would focus only on streaming activities.
Accordingly, I sat in front of the computer to turn on the broadcast. But today I was not alone.
“Mom, what are you doing?”
Erina, sitting on my lap, looked up at me and asked. Her chubby pink eyes sparkled cutely today as well.
Who’s daughter could be this adorable?
Honestly, at first I had been bewildered. I never imagined the contraception spell I had used would fail and result in sudden pregnancy.
But after giving birth to my daughters, my thoughts changed. Having children was a kind of blessing.
“Mom. Me too.”
As I gazed at Erina with delight, Evaila whined. She wanted to be placed on my lap as well.
“Come here.”
I immediately sat Evaila next to Erina. Placing both of them on my lap felt quite heavy.
‘Did I feed them too much chicken?’
They loved it and I ordered it often, so they had grown plump. Now that I thought about it, I had gained some weight myself.
If my belly sagged, I would no longer be able to deny being old. I needed to manage it in advance.
Although blessings prevent the deterioration of figure and appearance, my precautions were not perfect. The effort would ultimately be mine.
“Erina, Evaila. Later, let’s exercise together with Mom.”
“Waaah, no!”
“I like it.”
I stroked the heads of my daughters, who showed different reactions, one by one.
After that, I wrote the broadcast title. I also did not forget to apply the know-how Seo-yun had taught me.
[Most Beautiful Person in Mom Content]
Before viewers arrived, I had already posted text on the broadcast screen. It was simple wording anyone could understand.
[If you write dirty chat in front of the kids, our husband will come find you (joke)]
Honestly, I still had doubts whether it was right to feature the kids on the broadcast. I might see bad chat.
Since Seo-yun said it would be fine, there was no major problem, but to be safe, I prayed to the Goddess.
“Dear Sun Goddess, please drop a small lightning bolt of slight tingling pain on the head of the viewer who speaks ill today’s broadcast. It would be good if you also mixed in some pebbles.”
I closed my eyes for a moment and added,
“Please do the same for those who tease me with my age.”
Honestly, this was self-defense.
Personal nature has manifested during papal activity. Impulse management recommended.