10
Chapter 10
It was around the time I headed to the restroom after reassuring the driver in the breakroom.
"I'll be right back after taking care of some business."
"Ah! Operator, here's some tissue. Please take it."
"Huh?"
"The toilet paper might have run out. Hehe."
I headed to the restroom, thinking I finally understood why First Lieutenant Shin Han-gi was so fond of the driver.
But there are people who plant apple trees even when the world is ending.
It's likely a way of preserving one's dignity by maintaining a daily routine instead of collapsing; conversely, it could be a steadfast mindset of not letting things get to them since nothing will change anyway.
However, there were more apple-tree planters in the world than I had imagined.
For instance, the line for the restroom was incredibly long, and when the stall in front of me didn't open even after ten minutes, I finally lost patience and hammered on the door with my fist.
Bang bang bang!
"Get out! You've been in there over five minutes! Forget five, it's been thirteen!"
"Damn it, I'm constipated. I just got the signal."
"I can hear your phone!"
"What am I supposed to do when I'm constipated? It's not like it just comes out. I have to calm my mind, regulate my breathing, and push steadily for it to happen."
"Turn off your phone first!"
"You're being quite rude, but since you seem to be in a hurry, I'll bear with it, so please calm down. Also, I need to listen to classical music to relax my mind so my sphincter can loosen up. I'm working on it right now."
"Ugh."
No matter how I looked at it, it was clear the constipation was due to poor habits, but the pooper behind the stall seemed determined not to admit it.
Eventually, three minutes later, another stall opened, and I was finally able to relieve myself.
And even after I finished and came out, the classical pooper was still behind closed doors.
Despite people banging on the door.
"Hey! You're not dead in there, are you?!"
"Are you out of toilet paper?"
Eventually, those who couldn't wait any longer began to disperse to other stalls.
After washing my hands thoroughly with soap, I passed by the classical pooper's stall, and it was truly a sight to behold.
"What is this?"
Even for someone like me who knows nothing about classical music, it sounded far from it.
That was because it was a cute children's song I'd heard back in boot camp when I went to church for a free hamburger.
[Let's go, little soldiers of Jesus~ with Jesus~ leading the way~.]
"Let's fight the devil with all our might and claim victory~ we are the army of love~."
The classical pooper's voice could be heard responding to the song from behind the stall.
Feeling how insignificant and mundane I was, I quietly left the restroom.
With that level of faith, they could easily awaken the Dogma-type Magic I heard about in the conference room earlier.
Perhaps they hadn't come into contact with the mist, or maybe they were already a Mage who had awakened Dogma-type Magic.
Feeling that it was truly a miracle that I had manifested magic among such extraordinary people, I headed toward the most important part of my routine.
The task I had postponed in my haste—my meal.
Returning to the breakroom, I immediately asked the driver.
"Now that I think about it, I haven't eaten yet."
"They've kept your portion aside. It should be warming up in the cafeteria right now since all the Operators are gathering to eat. I'll be staying here in the breakroom because the First Lieutenant ordered me not to approach anyone other than Operator Baek Jemin."
Thanks to the driver's helpful guidance, I made it to the cafeteria just in time.
Inside, I saw the diverse group of religious figures and soldiers I had seen in the conference room earlier, heading to their seats with their trays.
"You little fake monk, why did you get a meat dish?"
"This humble monk's meat dish is not for my own consumption, but rather a provision prepared to reassure those who might feel self-conscious about receiving it, so please do not worry, Pastor."
"Kuh~. You really can't beat a monk when it comes to twisting words."
As Pastor Park Yo-han and Monk Cheong-hwi exchanged pleasantries, I grabbed a tray and received my own food.
The menu clearly reflected a nutritionist's agonizing struggle to provide as diverse and rich a nutritional profile as possible on a limited budget.
Stir-fried seaweed stems, kimchi, mashed boiled eggs, and kimchi stew that at least looked like it had been simmered nicely.
I desperately suppressed the words tickling the back of my throat.
Isn't this Suwon City Hall? Why is the food like this? Was this damn place the military?
I had my food, so now I needed a seat, but everyone displayed absolutely zero team spirit and had taken up entire tables to themselves, meaning I'd be eating alone wherever I went.
I eventually just sat down alone at a random spot, picked up my utensils, and took a bite of the side dishes.
Surprisingly, it was actually decent. I tasted a mother's touch that couldn't even be compared to the dishes made from meat boxes I used to thaw by beating them with a shovel back in my unit roughly nine years ago.
Just as I finally felt relieved and started eating, a familiar face sat down across from me.
"Thanks to Operator Baek Jemin, I got chewed out by the Captain and came straight here."
First Lieutenant Shin Han-gi had brought two cans of Let's Be coffee with him.
He pushed one toward me and confidently pulled a can of processed ham from his coat, setting it next to my tray.
"The menu looks a bit lacking, so I brought what you were looking for. You were looking for something like Spam, right?"
"Oh."
The memory of being palmed off with Luncheon Meat instead of Spam crossed my mind, but I decided to endure it.
Right. Even the military is in a dire situation, so they have to mix some flour into the ham.
Luncheon Meat is actually pretty good if you fry it right; you can't even tell the difference from Spam, and it's less salty, making it taste quite light. Humming a tune, I took it from him... only for my eyes to snap wide open.
"What the hell is Richam!"
"Whoa, whoa~. Calm down."
"It went from Spam to Richam, how am I supposed to calm down!"
After our bickering, First Lieutenant Shin Han-gi spoke as if offering a compromise.
"You know mobilization has been declared, right? There's talk going around that the economy should gradually transition to a wartime economy. There's even a suggestion that at least the Gyeonggi-do region should do it. Keep this strictly between us."
"So."
"So later on, you won't even be able to get Richam. Stock up on cigarettes in advance. Alcohol is good too. First of all, the Operators in southern Gyeonggi will have to report to the military when moving to another region. And Richam has a higher meat content than Luncheon Meat. It's the alternative to Spam."
With a heavy heart, I accepted the Richam.
Was this going to be my last meal resembling Spam? Feeling the grim future of South Korea deep in my bones once more, I popped open the Richam and even licked up the stray crumbs with my tongue.
"Operator, stop that, you look too pathetic."
"Do you just throw away yogurt lids?"
"That's completely different from this."
Finishing my meal and sipping on the Let's Be, I headed back to the breakroom with First Lieutenant Shin Han-gi.
Everyone was right in the middle of their busy work, so the hallways were packed with soldiers running about frantically, and people who looked like Civil Servants were typing furiously at their computers, completely unable to spare a glance.
It felt strange that First Lieutenant Shin Han-gi and I seemed to be the only ones still enjoying an ordinary daily life.
First Lieutenant Shin Han-gi seemed to notice how I felt and shrugged his shoulders.
***
Upon returning to the breakroom, the Driver greeted us with a crisp salute and a shout of "Loyalty!"
It seemed the breakroom had become our own private space for me, First Lieutenant Shin Han-gi, and the Driver. I felt a bit bad for the others, but since we were all on emergency standby anyway, I figured I might as well slack off a bit as a Mage.
"You just need to figure out how to learn magic well, Operator."
"So what, do I have to believe in Catholicism, Protestantism, and Buddhism all at once?"
Theoretically, I thought believing in every religion in the world—Catholicism, Protestantism, Buddhism, Islam, Shamanism, and so on—would make me the strongest, but it seemed that wasn't going to be easy.
"Are you really planning to learn, read, and write Sanskrit, Ancient Hebrew, Church Latin, Medieval Chinese characters, and even Quranic Arabic?"
"Wow. That's brutal."
Having never even taken the TOEIC exam and being a total piece of trash who couldn't score over 200, this was not a realm I could dare to challenge.
When I could barely handle a single language, having to read and write all these languages that wouldn't even be used in South Korea just to learn magic?
It was an incredibly harsh trial for me, Baek Jemin, who used to make up excuses about buying coffee at the convenience store to escape on days my tutor came over because I hated studying.
"Well. People tend to make light of religious figures, but among them, there are always intellectuals worthy of respect. At the very least, the people who have become Operators now fit that bill."
"Give me an introduction. Some of them were pretty quiet and sullen."
At those words, First Lieutenant Shin Han-gi took out a notebook, flipped it open, and explained them one by one.
"Pastor Park Yo-han may look like that, but he actually pastors a pioneering church. He's the one who reported people being scammed out of their entire fortunes by cults and heresies to the Korea Protestant Association, bringing it to light as a social issue. He does care about money, but apparently, there's no other gossip about him, and he's very active in charity work."
Seeing him act like a fake monk, he seemed like the type to look down on other religions, so that part was a bit surprising.
"Ah, but on the other hand, he throws a massive fit, claiming that worshipping Dangun is idolatry. He doesn't even speak to the Shaman at all."
"He's definitely a Pastor, for better or for worse."
"It's a relief he's not a corrupt Pastor."
I had actually studied Christianity a bit, so I understood.
Whether Catholic or Protestant, they are fundamentally monotheistic, so being exclusive toward other religions is doctrinally correct for them. To those guys, preaching tolerance and acknowledging other religions would actually be seen as a bit crazy.
"Monk Cheong-hwi isn't an Abbot, but he is known to have the deepest interest in Sanskrit scriptures in the domestic Buddhist community. He believes that while Seon meditation and personal cultivation are good, the long-term suppression of Buddhism on the Korean Peninsula has caused many Buddhist texts to be forgotten. He has the ambition to use this opportunity to translate the Buddhist scriptures passed down through China directly into Korean."
"That sounds like a really good thing."
"But I heard he recently put that on hold because he's making temple food. He said promoting K-temple food would help improve the image of domestic Buddhism."
I figured as much about Monk Cheong-hwi. He seemed like a pretty decent guy, just like his impression.
"Priest Jeong Yong-hwan served as a Deacon at a parish in the Seoul Archdiocese and was only recently appointed as a Priest in the Suwon Diocese. Um. He's a bit unique."
"What do you mean by unique?"
"Well. Catholicism is actually a very administrative organization. When they asked the upper management what they thought of him, they said his faith itself wasn't bad, but he chugs down the wine, saying he won't waste the Lord's precious blood. He's a heavy drinker. There are even jokes going around that he became a Priest just to drink legally."
Not knowing what to say, I just clicked my tongue.
"Bosal Geulmun is a man, but he's a special case who strictly uses the title Bosal. I don't know much about Shamanism, but he's apparently suffered a lot because of it. That's why his personality is a bit prickly. Still, he tells fortunes with words and has studied Taoism and the I Ching on his own. He mentioned that the celestial alignments have recently shifted significantly, making it impossible to rely solely on the I Ching. He's much more cooperative with the military than I expected."
"The one who called us eerie?"
"Sigh... Since he has deep ties to the dead, couldn't it be that he has some exceptional intuition?"
For a moment, I wondered if even First Lieutenant Shin Han-gi secretly thought we were pathetic.
"The guy wearing the turban is Hamza, from Pakistan. He's a Muslim. A Sunni, I think. But Islam isn't that widespread in our country yet, right? So it's hard to classify whether the magic Hamza uses is Dogma-type Magic or something from a completely different system, which is why we're just observing him for now."
"I heard that guy eats red pepper paste, pork belly, and drinks soju. Is he really a Muslim?"
"If you put it that way, we eat hamburgers, cola, and french fries too, even though the Doctor says it'll kill us."
"Hmm..."
I found myself inwardly persuaded by First Lieutenant Shin Han-gi's words.
"Aside from them, there are soldiers who awakened Alteration-type Magic while on Night Watch like Operator Baek Jemin, or through some other trigger. Counting Operator Baek Jemin, there are two Reservists, one active-duty soldier, and one Non-Commissioned Officer."
"Aren't you going to introduce them?"
"Because so little is known about Alteration-type Magic. It's easy for the military to converse with the religious figures using Dogma-type Magic and grasp their characteristics, but with Alteration-type Magic, it's hard to find commonalities other than the fact that a specific body part has changed. So to prevent them from colluding or getting confused and contaminating the information, they're holding off on the introductions for a while."
"Hah."
I leaned back against the breakroom sofa and smacked my lips for no reason.
"If I'd known this was going to happen, I would have attended at least one place—whether it was a church, a cathedral, or a temple."
"Just attending doesn't mean you'll awaken. If it did, we would have wiped out those Monsters a long time ago."
"Then does that mean God is real?"
I had made a joke, but what returned was a troubled expression on First Lieutenant Shin Han-gi's face.
"If anything, that's exactly why some groups are growling at each other, insisting their god is the right one. There are even requests for language corrections, saying it shouldn't be called Dogma-type Magic but a 'miracle.' They have a strong backlash against the Operators who awakened Alteration-type Magic, which is why the military aims for a neutral term like Localized Invasive Structural Alteration instead of magic."
No matter where you go, difficult people are the ones in charge.
Grumbling, I crushed the Let's Be can and tossed it into the trash.
Then, for the first time in a while, I pulled the Magic Special Lecture Booklet out of my pocket to look over it.
"So. Is there no separate place to study magic?"
"Once housing is assigned, they'll set up a separate space for the Operators tomorrow."
Around that time, the Driver, who had been listening with perked ears from beside us, carefully opened his mouth with a voice mixed with fear, admiration, and excitement.
"O-Operator. And First Lieutenant."
"Yeah. Go ahead. I know you're curious."
When First Lieutenant Shin Han-gi nodded, the Driver's eyes sparkled.
"Do you Operators really shoot fireballs and stuff? Like, emitting electricity? And Summoning spirits and things like that?"
At those words, First Lieutenant Shin Han-gi stared intently at me, and I replied to the Driver with a serious expression.
"I shoot fireballs."
"Oh, wow! I-Is that for real?!"
"I shoot red-hot molten lead."
"Ooh... Huh?"
Seeing the Driver make a dumbfounded expression a beat too late, I burst into laughter.
"I'm just kidding."
"Ah, ahaha!"
"I can see 10 seconds into the future."
"....!"
Even First Lieutenant Shin Han-gi hadn't known that part, as he stared at me with wide eyes.
I waggled my fingers, showing off a confident smile.
"Once this whole situation is over, I'm going to take out a massive loan and head to Las Vegas."
End