Chapter 74
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Translator: Ace
Chapter: 74
Chapter Title: Behind the Bright Smile
-----------------------------------------------------------------
"Ah, that's the post!"
Hyun Jumi cried out, staring at my monitor.
I clicked on it to check, and sure enough, the author was Park Younggil, just as expected.
"……."
There wasn't much new content, so I scrolled down quickly while skimming it.
It was the story of how she'd felt the limits of modern medicine with her mother's illness, then found salvation after meeting me.
'……Was it that moving?'
Enough to write a guest post about it?
Even a quick glance showed it overflowing with praise, making my face heat up.
Of course, the comments were flooded with what seemed to be doctors hurling abuse.
And those presumed to be Korean medicine practitioners were high on herbal medicine hype.
No wonder my blog views had been spiking lately—it was all thanks to Park Younggil.
I felt a twinge of guilt for nagging her earlier about contacting me by phone.
Well, anyway.
"It's not like every symptom matches one specific herb perfectly. If panic disorder were that easy to cure, why would you need a doctor?"
"Ahaha, you're right!"
For now, I had to deal with Hyun Jumi right in front of me.
I gave her a light scolding for arbitrarily brewing and taking the Gardenia-Gypsum Decoction on her own.
As for others who might read the post and try it themselves…… the other Korean medicine doctors were already chiming in heavily in the comments, so I figured they'd be fine left alone.
"Since you've come all the way to Busan, I'll do my absolute best to treat you. No more self-medicating from now on—just follow my instructions."
"Yes! Thank you!"
The important thing was treating the patient who'd come to me properly.
I closed the internet, pulled up her chart, and began the consultation.
"How long ago were you diagnosed with panic disorder?"
"Two months!"
"Did the suffocating symptoms start, and you went straight to psychiatry?"
"It was the second time they appeared. The first attack was about two weeks earlier? I brushed it off then, but the second one happened in front of my mom. She freaked out and made me go to the hospital right away."
"And the meds helped after that."
"I had occasional attacks, but they calmed down quickly once I took them. Everything was fine except during the attacks. Things got worse after I started the diet pills a week ago."
I jotted down the details swiftly.
Symptoms started two and a half months ago, panic meds for two months, worsening after diet pills a week ago.
"What do the symptoms feel like? Just shortness of breath?"
"Suddenly I couldn't breathe, and my heart started pounding! Like, 'Am I going to die like this~?' You know? Everything shakes, I lose balance, but if I sit down and gasp for air, it gets better!"
Hyun Jumi explained her symptoms with a bright smile.
"No similar symptoms before two and a half months ago."
"Nope, none at all. I'm naturally cheerful, so I don't really get stressed. I have no idea why this happened!"
She pouted her lips and poked her cheeks with her fingers.
It was a gesture saying she really had no clue, but it was so ingrained with charm.
"Even if not full shortness of breath, any headaches when feeling down, dizziness, insomnia, indigestion, diarrhea?"
"Digestion's always bad. Headaches come when I'm a bit tired!"
"Lie on your side here."
I had Hyun Jumi lie on the bed and took her wrist.
I checked her pulse and abdomen simultaneously to assess her condition.
Her pulse was highly unstable as expected, and her abdomen was seriously rigid—not from developed muscles, but severe tension.
"Your digestive system isn't moving at all. Did you recently get bloated?"
"Ah, I'm always a bit stuffy! I get indigestion often too."
"How frequent?"
"Indigestion? Um…… five times a week?"
This is insane.
With a body like this, and she claims she's fine because she's usually cheerful.
"Let me check the center of your chest."
I pressed the Danzhong acupoint, located between her nipples on the sternum.
"Ack!"
Hyun Jumi let out a scream.
"Why does it hurt so much? Did you press hard?"
"That was just a light touch."
I barely brushed her arm. It was truly just the slightest contact.
"Let me check once more."
I placed my hand even more carefully, feeling something thick like a pencil along the Conception Vessel.
"Ugh, ahh! This is bad, right?"
"It's a treatment point for Hwabyung, and a diagnostic one too. Extremely, incredibly severe."
"I have Hwabyung?!"
Hyun Jumi shook her head in disbelief.
I sat her up and firmly pressed her trapezius muscle.
"Eeeeek!"
"Physical tension is extremely high too."
"Ugh, ah……."
"With this, you'd have constipation, barely any sweat. Appetite and sleep okay?"
"Uh…… I manage my weight, so no appetite is good, right? I do have constipation! No sweat either. Wow, how did you know?"
Hyun Jumi marveled, still smiling brightly.
Where to even start.
I returned to my desk and pulled out my notebook.
"Miss Jumi."
"Yes?"
"You think you don't get stressed, Miss Hyun Jumi, but that's not true."
"Eh……?"
How could someone truly never feel stress and always stay bright?
"You're denying it, pretending it never happened, avoiding it. That way, tough emotions don't surface consciously."
"Yes."
"But they linger in the subconscious. What you avoid and ignore piles up, manifesting as physical symptoms. The knots here, poor digestion, headaches, shortness of breath."
"Ah……."
As I set a serious tone, Hyun Jumi's eyes wavered.
She started to protest at first, but fiddling with the spot I'd pointed out as the Hwabyung diagnostic point, she nodded.
No matter how you looked at it, pain this bad was a problem. And actual panic symptoms had appeared.
Her ever-present beaming smile stiffened slightly.
"How could it not be tough? People in the world tearing into my looks, my personality."
"Haha, you're a celebrity. Haters come with the territory."
Hyun Jumi forced a smile, but it wasn't the picture-perfect one from moments ago.
"Why should that be 'natural'? Getting angry at the insults, questioning what makes keyboard warriors so great, wanting to punch them— that's normal."
"Ahaha."
"Or feeling intimidated even while angry? That's natural too. Feeling wronged by the hate, sad some days, worried if you can keep going, anxious about the future."
"……."
"Suddenly can't breathe—how could you stay calm? Fear is normal."
"Ah."
"Nothing strange about it."
Hyun Jumi blinked several times.
Her perfectly drawn features trembled and blurred.
Finally, a single tear streamed down Hyun Jumi's cheek.
"Sniff……."
But she didn't burst into sobs.
She quickly widened her eyes and turned her head at an angle.
Acting habit? Or not wanting to show an ugly side.
"Accepting emotions suddenly would make it even harder than before."
I didn't force her to express them right then. Instead, I handed her tissue and patted her shoulder.
"Breathe deeply, slowly."
"……Yes, whoo……."
Hyun Jumi stabilized her breathing as instructed.
The tears had already stopped, and the surging pain subsided gradually.
"Feeling better now?"
"Yes. Phew, sorry. Surprised you by crying out of nowhere, huh?"
She smiled again soon after.
What was there for me to be surprised about? She must have been far more shocked facing her emotions abruptly.
"You're right, Director. I didn't realize, but you saw right through me. I guess…… I was struggling after all."
I nodded.
I offered a few words of comfort: You've been through a lot, you've held up well.
Even those clichéd phrases made her shoulders shake now and then.
"Your body is overloaded in proportion to what your mind ignored. Think of it like a computer running too many unmanageable games or programs."
"Like it's about to explode?"
"Exactly. It was sending signals all along, but you ignored them until even breathing got hard."
"Haha…… my bad."
It wasn't the forced cheer from before.
Understanding my analogy, Hyun Jumi calmly accepted her mistake.
"We'll treat it by calming the overload—overexcited sympathetic nerves. Cooling down your tense body."
"Ah, yes."
"But we can't run another new program on top, right? Practice handling emotions separately."
"Practice handling emotions?"
"Psychotherapy. You need proper coping mechanisms for stress to relieve the extra burden on your body."
"Ah."
Hyun Jumi's eyes widened.
She said she'd been recommended therapy before.
"Mom mentioned it a few times, and the agency offered to introduce someone years ago. I kept saying I was fine…… If I'd been careful from then, maybe it wouldn't have gotten this bad?"
"Maybe."
"Agh, geez. I'm such an idiot."
Hyun Jumi scratched her head self-deprecatingly.
"Accepting emotions as they are doesn't mean drowning in regret. Just do what you can from now on."
"Right. I'll look into counseling as soon as I get back to Seoul."
I'd gathered all the info needed for the herbal prescription and convinced her of psychotherapy's necessity.
Thinking the consultation was over, Hyun Jumi started to stand.
"Hold on."
"Oh, more left?"
Of course.
Herbs and counseling are vital, but don't I have an equally powerful weapon?
"Time for acupuncture. It'll release some chest tightness right away, and you'll sleep soundly tonight."
With a bit of focus, I could clearly sense the tangled qi.
Herbs would work eventually, but no reason to delay an immediate fix.
"Teacher, acupuncture first."
I notified the desk to swap with physical therapy, then laid her on the bed.
Normally I'd loosen shoulder muscles with PT first, but today was an exception.
"Will it get better right away after the needles?"
Hyun Jumi's eyes sparkled as she asked.
"The tightness will improve immediately."
"Whoa, Se-seon unnie said your acupuncture skills are amazing!"
To Park Seseon? The diet patient who reacted dramatically to needles…… ah, right, the constipation.
I nodded.
"First time getting acupuncture?"
"Yes!"
And with confidence, I took the needle.
I thrust slantingly into Danzhong, where the qi was a total mess.
Hwaaaak!
The refreshing qi carried by the needle pierced through Hyun Jumi's chest.