A Useful Dickless Clerk (12)
"Yes."
"This way, please. You need to meet the administrator in person for the special management registration."
The clerk guided her inside City Hall.
The interior of City Hall was incredibly complex and bustling. Amid mountains of paperwork and office supplies, clerks scurried about, working frantically and holding heated discussions. Pelle followed the clerk's lead, crossing the hall toward the back.
At the far end of the hall, in a prime spot by the fireplace, sat a woman. She was an intellectual beauty with smooth blonde hair pinned up and glasses perched on her nose.
"Administrator, this is for special management subject registration."
At the clerk's words, the woman reading documents looked up. Meeting Pelle's eyes, she flashed an alluring smile.
"Welcome, Miss Pelle. I'm Hildeva, the city administrator."
"How do you know my name?"
"Bertrand contacted me ahead of time. Have a seat."
Pelle sat across from Hildeva. The administrator continued gazing at her with that same warm smile.
"You've done special management registration once before in Kerno City, right?"
"Yes."
Pelle was slightly surprised that the administrator already knew she'd come from Kerno City, but she quickly guessed the mad hero had informed her.
"As you know, demons have a bit more complicated registration procedures than regular citizens. I know it's a hassle, but please bear with it."
"Yes."
"It'll take over a month for your papers to transfer from Kerno City, so we'll just do fresh paperwork here. It's all formalities anyway."
Hildeva fetched some forms, picked up a pen, and asked her a question.
"What was your previous position?"
"I worked in the Demon King's logistics office and secretariat. Ended up in the secretariat as a third-grade secretary."
"How did you survive the fall of the Demon King's Castle?"
"The Demon King—er, Demon King evacuated the secretariat staff through a separate escape route."
Hildeva paused her scribbling.
"Why did the Demon King evacuate only the secretariat staff separately?"
"Because he valued his subordinates and wanted to minimize unnecessary sacrifices."
As Pelle spoke in a slightly trembling voice, Hildeva glanced at her briefly.
"I see. What happened to the other secretaries who evacuated with you?"
"They all scattered to find their own paths. I wandered aimlessly too until I ran into a legion commander who'd betrayed the Demon King, and that's how I ended up in Kerno City."
Hildeva asked about what happened after Kerno City, jotting down Pelle's answers on the forms.
"Separate from the procedures, you've been through a lot. Must've been tough on your mind."
"Ah... yes."
Pelle hesitated, caught off guard by Hildeva's unexpected sympathy.
"I hope you find some peace of mind and body here in Rosens."
"Yes... thank you..."
Hildeva asked a few more simple questions.
"Good. That should do it."
She stamped the documents with her seal, signaling the end of the process.
"A public notice will go up stating that you're a special management subject and that the administrator guarantees your safety. You'll be treated the same as any other free citizen in our city... Miss Pelle?"
Hildeva blinked, looking at Pelle as she explained. Pelle stared back with a blank expression, as if she hadn't fully heard.
"What's wrong?"
"Is the registration... all done?"
"Yes. Is there a problem?"
"In Kerno City, they locked me in temporary isolation for a month..."
Now understanding Pelle's reaction, Hildeva smiled.
"That was because you didn't have a guarantor. Someone reliably vouched for your identity, so we could streamline it."
"Someone vouched for me? Who?"
"Bertrand. He guaranteed your identity."
The mad hero rushed the registration and even stood as guarantor just to put me to work.
"So if a hero vouches, it gets processed right away."
"Pardon? Hero? What do you mean?"
Hildeva looked puzzled, and Pelle's mouth hung open for a moment.
"The hero. The one who subjugated the Demon King's Castle..."
"What are you talking about? Do you mean Lurtjog?"
Pelle shut her mouth. The administrator seemed to have misunderstood, but Pelle had no obligation to correct her. The registration was complete normally, so that was that.
Pelle stood from her chair and bowed curtly to Hildeva. At the rather curt farewell, Hildeva stood with a bemused expression.
"Take care, Miss Pelle. See you around."
Pelle left City Hall. A crowd still waited to register as settlers, and eyes turned toward her as she emerged. Ignoring them all, she headed back to the inn.
She was used to contempt and rejection from others, and she was prepared to work under the hero who'd destroyed the Demon King's Castle. At least until she'd fully repaid her debt to Bertrand.
In the somewhat leisurely afternoon, I was playing with Kali in the yard. The mutt never strayed beyond the yard despite being a hunting dog, just patrolling the inn grounds, so he lacked exercise. I had to play with him like this now and then to build his stamina.
Not that it was anything fancy—just throwing a log for him to fetch.
Originally, dogs like you roam all day, swim across the Buren River easy, catch ducks, all that shit.
I hurled the log hard, and it sailed over the stone wall around the inn. Kali wagged his tail furiously and leaped over the man-high wall.
No matter how much he played and ate, a hunting dog was still a hunting dog.
"Get outta there! Scram!"
Suddenly, shouts rang out, and Kali came bolting back with the log in his mouth. Wondering what was up, I went to check. Several wagons were approaching up the road.
Guards packed the wagons, and at the head rode a commander on horseback. His armor gleamed, polished to a shine, topped with a helmet adorned in white feathers. He carried himself with pride befitting his rank.
He glanced at me once, then turned toward the city streets. The wagons followed in line. Counting roughly, it was company-sized.
Hildeva had mentioned the garrison stationed in the city was expanding from platoon to company level. That must be them. So the guy up front was the company commander—Illian Sergeant's new boss.
Kali nudged my shin insistently, begging for another throw. I picked it up and flung it behind the inn. It flew toward the stable, and he bounded after it.
But this time, he came scampering back without the log, tail tucked.
"Kali... what now..."
Trailing him came Idwild, carrying a basket of eggs. Spotting her, Kali bolted into his doghouse in terror.
"She doesn't like me...?"
"Hey, Idi. Isn't today your holy water bath day?"
"Oh... right... That's why Kali ran..."
Idwild's body emanated black magic, and the animal Kali sensed it perfectly. She bathed in holy water once a week to suppress it, and since it was the end of the week, it was leaking out a bit.
"Don't forget and wash up. I set it up in the third-floor communal bath. Do it now before dinner rush."
"Got it..."
"Oh, right. Tell Pelle to wash too. The Holy Sword keeps glowing—it's hurting my eyes."
"Mm..."
As Idwild headed inside, Kali popped out of his house like nothing happened and rushed to me. Simple mutt. Gotta take him hunting together sometime.
Peering over the wall, I saw Della had already fetched holy water and was scrubbing every nook of the statue in the wagon parking lot. Suddenly, she glanced around and slyly caressed the statue's... goods.
Oh, that little...
Della fondled the statue's crotch devotedly with both hands, then hurriedly wrapped a large towel around its waist like nothing happened. Grabbing her bucket, she turned to leave the lot—and locked eyes with me over the wall.
Della froze, staring wide-eyed.
"What're you doing? Done? Come inside."
"You saw..."
"Didn't see shit. Hurry up and get back to work."
Della's face turned beet red as she waddled across the road with the bucket. I snatched it from her, and our hands brushed—she jumped like I'd shocked her.
"Eek! Sorry!"
She shoved my shoulder with surprising force and fled inside. She'll sneak off to some empty room tonight for her weird shit again. Looks so sweet, but she's got that pervy side.
Idwild stood before Pelle, who was writing in the ledger at the bar. Pelle knew she was there but kept her head down, continuing her work.
Idwild fidgeted before speaking.
"Um... Pelle..."
"What."
Pelle answered curtly without looking up, pen still moving.
"Wanna... wash together...?"
The pen stopped dead on the paper. Pelle looked up with cold eyes.
Idwild flinched and forced an awkward smile.
"Not my thing."
"Ah... no... I didn't mean it like that... bad choice of words..."
Idwild pointed to the Holy Sword on the wall behind Pelle. White light leaked from its sheath.
"It's detecting you and keeps glowing like that..."
"What's that got to do with bathing with the black mage?"
"Ahh..."
Idwild explained that washing in holy water that had touched the Holy Sword neutralized black magic or demon aura enough to stop the glowing.
"But why together with the black mage?"
At Pelle's icy question, Idwild floundered.
"Well... if I go first, you'd be washing in my used water... might gross you out..."
"Don't care. You first. I'll go later."
"Ah... okay... got it..."
Pelle immediately bent back to the ledger. Idwild, deflated, stared at her head a moment before trudging up the stairs.
Pelle paused her writing and glanced at the stairs. Seeing the airheaded black mage climb them listlessly, she let out a small sigh. She set down her pen and half-rose from the chair, but thought better and sat back. Shaking her head, she picked up the pen again.
Thanks to Idwild and Pelle's weekly holy water baths, I could finally draw the Holy Sword again. It was such a stunning decorative piece on its own—too much of a waste sheathed. Sleek white blade, ornate gold hilt. Probably what the Goddess looked like. Snow-white skin, golden hair cascading down her voluptuous form.
Weekend morning. Everyone was sleeping in, so the hall was quiet. With summer nearing and the heat rising, all windows and doors were open, letting gentle breezes flutter the curtains. Late spring—or early summer—sunlight patterned the floor in squares.
At a table in one corner sat Hildeva and Della side by side. With a rare moment of leisure, Hildeva had come to help Della with accounting.
She explained gently.
"Cost of goods sold is opening inventory plus net purchases minus closing inventory. So it's 2,500 gold coins, not 3,000."
Della scribbled notes furiously as she listened.
In the yard, Idwild chased Kali, her back soaked in sweat, massive breasts bouncing.
No sign of Pelle.
Pretty girls in a quiet inn hall... Not bad at all.
Weeks after the royal announcement, traffic between Bue and Fribourg—the kingdom's north-south route—surged. No surprise for a city living off trade and layovers.
Idwild and Della returned from "scouting" the city and reported industry trends. New restaurants, butchers, veggie shops, food suppliers popping up. A decent-sized tavern prepping to open, and intel on an inn going into a building on the Vurn Mountains outskirts.
"I heard from Hildeva there used to be tons of old inns here. What do we do?"
"What's to worry? Our spot's the best location anyway."
"Still... competition's never good."
"No sweat. They won't have a cutie like you waitressing."
"Eek!"
Della blushed crimson, squealed, and bolted. Left alone, Idwild grinned expectantly at me.
"No big-titted waitress like you either."
"You... only see my tits, huh..."
She pouted and wandered off. What can ya do? They're all I see.
Across the hall, Pelle shot me a pitiful look.
Four mercenaries from the guild came for dinner. Rough-looking bruisers in casual gear, swords at hips, they burst into the hall rowdily.
"Ain't that a troll skull?"
They clustered under the troll trophy on the wall, gawking. I smirked at their boasts about catching bigger ones.
That skull size meant a massive troll even among its kind. Bigger? Ogre territory—and a lone merc wouldn't land a single stab before getting crushed.
"Yo, check that sword. Killer."
One spotted the Holy Sword behind the bar and oohed. They swarmed toward it. Ignoring me—the owner—staring right at them, they hopped behind the bar to admire it.
"Looks pricey. Decoration?"
The first guy reached out and gripped the hilt.
His face froze solid.
"Huh...? What the...?"