The Gloomy Black-Haired Busty Girl (8)
Idwild, the gloomy black-haired busty girl, slipped out of her room at the inn in the dead of night when the place was fast asleep. She left the pouch of gold coins Bertrand had given her on the desk and grabbed her sweat-soaked, filthy shirt. Slipping on the pretty, sleek shoes from the beautiful administrator, she headed north along the road.
The path wound toward Vurn Gorge, and deep within that gorge lay the abandoned castle where she hid away. As she trudged through the pitch-black, freezing night, Idwild thought of the inn. Its grand, sturdy exterior. The brightly lit hall and warm fireplace. The delicious aromas wafting from the kitchen amid the lively chatter of people... Up the polished, well-worn wooden stairs lay cozy guest rooms, complete with steaming bathtubs, fragrant soap, and fluffy beds. If there was ever a place that could be the "home" she'd always longed for, it would be something like that.
But she didn't belong there. Idwild was a black mage. Born with black magic pulsing through her veins, her parents had died young because of it. Unable to find a proper home due to the polluting black magic energy, she'd wandered from place to place. At the inn, she'd faced reality head-on. People living in a world utterly unlike hers, in a warm haven full of comfort. I'm just a stinking, black stain there.I don't fit in that inn. Not with the pretty and kind Hildeva, nor with the gentle and sweet Della, nor even with the aloof but caring Bertrand. I can't fit with any of them. So she'd left even the gold behind and departed. She felt so pathetic that if she spent it all, she might not be able to hold on any longer... Happiness and comfort are impossible dreams for me—luxuries I can't afford. All that suited her were dank, icy workshops and filthy, repulsive black magic ingredients. Hiding from people's eyes, drifting about... She'd delve into even deeper, gloomier shadows... And someday... in some forgotten place... she'd meet a lonely death... Would that make me happy...?
Idwild stopped dead in her tracks. A chill early spring night breeze swept over her. It pierced her nape, making the bare skin inside her robe prickle with cold. She mulled over the thought she'd just had. Death... would that make me happy...? If her life had been miserable so far and loomed just as bleak ahead... Maybe dying young, right now, would be better...? That brief moment with Bertrand in the endless dark cave had been a glimmer of light, but it wouldn't come again. Looking back at the darkness after dazzling brightness only made it blacker. I should've just huddled in the shadows...Going back... it's nothing but darkness...Then... yeah... let's just... get happy...
With that resolve, Idwild turned her steps.
As the sun rose over the mountains across the Buren River, Idwild reached her chosen spot. It was deep into the mountainside, a place no passerby would stumble upon, invisible from far below. There, she found a suitable tree—one with a thick branch that could bear her weight. Spotting a perfect one, she crafted Beldra's Curse Rope and looped it over the branch. She tied a noose at the dangling end. The glossy black curse rope formed a perfect snare.
If I die here, no one will see my ugly corpse afterward. She slipped the noose around her neck. With a flick of her fingers, she tightened the curse rope. It began to constrict her throat, slowly lifting her feet off the ground.
"Guhk... kuhk..."
As her neck was squeezed, blood rushed to her face, swelling it beet red. When breathing became impossible, sudden terror gripped her. I'm scared of dying...!Even a wretched life scraping by on the floor—isn't living better than dying?A black mage like me would be forsaken by the Goddess and cast into hell anyway...?There, I'd get back every evil deed I'd done...?Chopped up as ingredients for demon black magic, fried in oil...?!
Terror of death gave way to an even greater emotion: regret. What if I'd told Bertrand I wanted to stay at the inn?What if I'd said I wanted to do even menial chores like washing dishes or taking out trash...?Maybe he'd have let me stay...?
Idwild tried to move her hands to loosen the curse rope.
"Kek... kehk..."
But the agony squeezing her throat and suffocation prevented her from casting properly. Tearing at it with her hands was futile. She thrashed, tears streaming down. Her vision blurred with tears. Her head spun, the ground tilting and righting in dizzying illusions. As consciousness faded, Idwild saw a blinding light. The holy radiance filled her sight, and she realized she'd died at last. Even a wretch like me... one of Her creations after all... The Goddess came to greet me...Cursed life... in the next one, as a powerless, ordinary nobody...Again...
The blazing Holy Sword sparked viciously as it severed the curse rope. I caught the falling Idwild just in time. Then I sliced the rope still binding her neck with my hand.
"Huuuuhk...! Huuuuhk...!"
With her airway clear, Idwild gasped like a fish flung onto dry land. "Huuuhk...! Huuuhk...!" Clutching her throat with both hands, bloodshot eyes fixed on me, she drooled uncontrollably.
"Jeez... look at you."
I held her close and slowly sank to the ground. I waited there, sitting, until her breathing steadied. A long while later, her ragged breaths evened out somewhat. Idwild moved her cracked, parched lips.
"Bertrand..."
Her voice was hoarse and wrecked. Her eyes, burst with ruptured veins, were blood-red, and her neck bore angry red bruises in the rope's pattern.
"Why... are you here..."
She barely got that out before coughing violently.
"Shut your mouth, you crazy bitch."
I scooped her up and walked toward Mollo's horse waiting nearby. "Easy. Hold on tight."
I settled Idwild in front first, then mounted behind. The horse snorted irritably. I urged it through the forest path downward.
"What the hell were you thinking, coming all the way up to this godforsaken spot?"
"To... die somewhere... no one would know..."
"Die? Bullshit."
"Better than... this... seemed happier..."
Exhausted, Idwild slumped back against me, her back to my chest. When she swayed sideways as if to fall, I quickly wrapped an arm around her waist.
Leaning on me, she whispered, "If I hadn't known... I wouldn't have realized how dark the darkness was..."
"What're you talking about."
"Once you see the light... going back to darkness... you can't see a thing..."
I fell silent at her continuing whispers. This wasn't the time for me to speak.
"Adapting to darkness again... means enduring that frightening blindness... and even then..."
Idwild paused.
"Even adapted... it's not the old familiar dark... Just a shadow, forever yearning for the light to return..."
Her head against my chest, she turned it ever so slightly. "That short time... with you... was light for me... It made my familiar darkness feel utterly alien..."
She sighed. "Black mages... don't curse others... We share the curse we got... with everyone... We're the bad ones..."
She let out a low chuckle. I was a bit surprised—it was the first time I'd heard her laugh out loud.
"What I'm saying is... forget it all by sunset... I don't want to stain your shining life... I'll go back to my world..."
"Where's that?"
"Dark... cold... a black mage's fate. That wretched, cursed... lonely world."
The flesh of her belly squirmed under my arm. Her shoulders heaved with it—like sobbing. Yeah, cry. If it sucks unshed or shed, might as well cry to feel a little relief.
She said nothing more the whole way down to the inn.
As we entered the inn's courtyard, Della, who'd been waiting outside, rushed over.
"Oh my god! Your neck—it's bruised...!"
Seeing the vivid marks, Della cried out in shock. "How did this happen?!"
"I'm... fine..." Idwild murmured gloomily as she dismounted.
"Della, get some lukewarm water in a glass."
"Y-yes!"
Kali, still avoiding Idwild, slunk shivering into his doghouse.
"Bertrand... I'll just go..."
"Come inside. Rest first."
"No... I've stayed too long... Any longer and the black magic..."
"Forget that. Inside. We need to talk."
"Talk about... what?"
I grabbed her dawdling arm and pulled her into the inn. She tried for a hall table, but too exhausted, so we went up to her room. I sat her on the bed; Della followed with the lukewarm water. Idwild sipped slowly, then hacked into coughs.
"We should call a healer...!"
"Go downstairs for now. We need to talk alone."
Della shut the door behind her. I met Idwild's eyes. She leaned crookedly on the bed's edge, avoiding my gaze.
"Hey."
"Yeah..."
"What're you gonna do for work and food if you go back?"
"...Dunno. Not sure... yet..."
I glanced at the gold pouch on the desk.
"Ever thought of earning steady, even if it's not much?"
"I want to, but... black magic means I can't stay anywhere long..."
"What if that got fixed?"
Idwild, who'd been looking away, met my eyes.
"That's... impossible... Black magic circulates in my body nonstop... Unless I die..."
"There's a way."
Her face screamed utter disbelief. I explained the method calmly. Then Idwild shrieked in her raspy voice.
"No... that's impossible...!"
