Won't Eat Even This? (1)
"Elua?"
My mind snapped to attention. Could she have found a way to cure that crazy bitch's mental illness?
"How's she been lately?"
"Same as always. Last time I saw her, she didn't seem much different."
"I see."
"Could you cure her, by any chance?"
The goddess set down the picked-clean chicken bone in an empty bowl and spoke.
"She was using a ton of holy power today. What for?"
The sudden tangent threw me off, but I answered anyway.
"To help Gobert. You might not know, but things are complicated between him and Elua right now. I figured if I could get him settled in properly, that might sort it out."
"And? Did it work?"
"Yeah. At least he won't get kicked out of his commander position anytime soon."
"Hmm... I see..."
The goddess muttered cryptically as she chugged her beer.
"Goddess. Can you cure Elua?"
"Well..."
"You always do what you want right away and never do what you don't. But this time, you seem... different?"
The goddess chuckled and tore into another piece of fried chicken.
"Let me guess. You can't fix Elua's condition either, right? That's why you're hemming and hawing."
"Honestly, I still don't know. Whether I can or can't."
Last time I'd prayed for her to heal Elua's mental illness, she'd said she was looking into it. What could the creator of this world not know...?
"Sorry, Goddess, but didn't you create this world? And there's something you don't know?"
"Who said I created this world?"
"Huh?"
"I don't remember saying that myself..."
"But... the church..."
The goddess pointed at me playfully with the chicken bone in her hand.
"You believe those liars?"
"Uh... yeah, good point. So what are you, then? Just squatting in an ownerless world and pretending?"
The goddess giggled and took another swig of beer. How many was that now...?
"What do you think?"
"Well... when I fought Ergaduk last time, it felt like you were some spoiled rich girl lounging around, freeloading off daddy with no worries."
Instead of laughing, the goddess gave me a weird look.
"What? How'd you know?"
"Pardon...?"
"Hmm... interesting..."
"Wait, is that really it?!"
"Eh, Bertrand's fine. No big deal if he knows."
After a pause, the goddess spoke up.
"Truth is, this world wasn't made by me. It was my dad. 'Dad' sounds weird, though. Creator fits better?"
"What...? What did you say?"
"Not just this world—lots of others too."
There wasn't just this one world...? Well, demons, demonkin, hell horses—they're all thought to come from other dimensions. So other worlds existing isn't that crazy.
"He made all sorts of weird worlds and handed them out to his kids before vanishing. I was one of those kids, and this world got assigned to me."
"Whoa... so that's how it is?"
"Yeah. When I first took over, I whipped up some lesser gods as middle managers and worked them hard. That's how we got here."
A realm of gods on a scale beyond imagining. And here I was, hearing it like casual chit-chat over fried chicken and beer.
"Got it... first time hearing that. But is it okay to just blurt this out?"
"Why not? I'm the boss here now. I do what I want."
"Fair enough. So... why'd we veer off from Elua talk into this?"
The goddess said nothing, just tore into more chicken and beer.
Realizing she wasn't ready to answer, I silently reached for some chicken myself. Partly because she was eating so fast, my share kept vanishing.
"Save me at least one leg."
"Oh? Sure."
As the fried chicken was nearly gone, the goddess suddenly said,
"For now, do whatever you want."
"With Elua?"
"Just like you thought in the bath."
"Leave her be and keep an eye on her so she doesn't do anything too nuts?"
"Yeah."
"Got it."
If the goddess said so, there was a reason. And she'd never steer me wrong or into harm's way. So I'd follow her advice. Felt a bit relieved.
"Alright, belly's full. Time to work it off?"
"Let's."
Like she'd been waiting, the goddess grabbed my collar and dragged me to the bed. Despite her slender frame, her grip was insane—I had no choice but to follow.
She lay down first, pulling me with her, and grinned.
"Come on, then."
How much time passed? As dawn's bluish light filtered through the window, a knock sounded at the door.
"Brother. You awake? It's Gobert."
I froze mid-thrust atop the goddess, trying to get up. She wrapped her arms around my neck.
"Where you going?"
Suddenly, the blue light outside vanished, darkness falling again.
"Ah, damn. Goddess..."
"What? I told you—I'm the owner here."
Several hours later.
"Brother. You awake? It's Gobert."
Several hours later.
"Brother. You awake? It's Gobert."
Several hours later.
"Brother. You awake? It's Gobert."
Several hours later.
"Brother. You awake? It's Gobert."
If she hadn't rewound time, Gobert probably would've broken his fingers knocking. After the goddess left and the knocking resumed for the thirtieth-something time, I croaked from the bed,
"Yeah... come in."
"You're up early, brother."
"Not up... just layin' down now..."
"Pardon? What do you mean?"
"Never mind... forget it."
Gobert pulled up a chair and sat by the bed.
"You did great, brother. The Bacomor bastards got hit hard—they won't make a peep for a while."
"Good... that's a relief."
"Especially the tunnel collapse and wiping out a whole enemy legion—that was huge."
A whole legion annihilated? They must've bunched up bad.
"Smashing Bacomor is easy. What matters is if your generals under you truly respect you now."
"Don't ask. They're flat on their faces, barely breathing."
"Perfect. Now keep 'em in line and issue orders. You know, the usual: strengthen forward patrols, bolster defenses, blah blah. And loosen up a tiny bit now and then. Emotionally."
"Understood, brother. This is all thanks to you."
Gobert beamed.
"Damn right. What would've you done without me?"
"True, brother. How can I ever repay this favor..."
"Stick here, protect the kingdom, and don't fight with Elua. That's repayment."
"I will."
I waved him off lazily from the bed.
"Now get out. Need sleep... overdid it..."
"Getting old, brother? After just a little workout yesterday..."
"Not that, you idiot. Whatever. Out. I'll eat lunch here—make it good."
"Yes, brother!"
Gobert left, and I passed out. The goddess had forgotten to refill my stamina, leaving me wrecked.
Lunch was delicious. Gobert saw me off to the dimensional gate, shaking hands and hugging, wiping tears.
"I'll be swamped for a bit, brother. But I'll definitely visit the inn again."
"Yeah. Got it. Head back to work."
Kamei stood behind him, glaring coldly without a word. I winked at her and stepped through the gate.
Back at the inn, the familiar clamor greeted me: crowds heading to the inn, bathhouse, and monster zoo; staff dashing around to manage them. Laughter and delicious smells wafted from inside; hot steam rose from the bathhouse vents. The dwarves' rough curses as they worked on renovations felt downright homey.
And then.
"Hehe... Bertrand... welcome back...?"
That flushed, sweaty, pale, jiggly black-haired cow.
"You'll catch a cold sweating in this chill."
"S'fine... I'm burning up with fever..."
"Idiot. Sweat cools and you'll freeze. Inside, now."
A smack on her ass, and Idwild grinned dopily, waddling into the inn.
Hmm... her ass felt bigger. Different texture than before.
"What? Out playing hard again?"
Red hair zipped through the crowd toward me. I went for a knuckle-rap on Marim's head, but she dodged at insane speed.
"Ow, why hit me!"
"Missed anyway!"
"Ugh, seriously... always vanishing when it's busy..."
"That's how you talk to the boss?!"
I swung, but like she had eyes in the back of her head, Marim blinked away.
Inside the inn, shockingly, Aterugar was down in the hall. Fiery red twintails dangling, hands on hips, cheeks puffed in a pouty sulk.
"Hey, redhead."
"Eek? You're alive? Thought you burned up with the reeds last night."
"Thanks for the help."
"Hmph! Duh! But sorry, no time to play with weaklings like you right now? Hey, demon bitch—hurry up!"
Aterugar bellowed toward the kitchen. Pelle appeared soon after, bucket brimming with water, face sour.
"Taking that long to fetch river water?!"
"If it's such a hassle, why didn't you do it yourself?"
"Grrrrr...! Move it!"
Aterugar stomped upstairs.
"What's her deal?"
Pelle jerked her chin at a table in the hall.