The Corrupt Administrator Flees
"...What did you just say to me?"
"Who the hell else would it be but you?"
Hamond's face flushed beet red. That little punk was just an eighth-grade clerk, a mere aide at that. Back in my hero days, I'd been treated as a first-grade special operative, one of the precious few granted private audiences with the king. I had an unlimited pass that only ministers and special operatives could carry, and I drew a first-grade pension until the day I died. In other words, there was zero reason for some lowlife like him to look down on me.
"How dare a lowly innkeeper hurl abuse at a central bureaucrat!"
Of course, oblivious to all that, Hamond raised his voice in outrage at the insult.
"You think throwing money around like an asshole will get you anywhere? This is a city governed by an administrator delegated authority straight from the royal palace! Who do you think you are, demanding a private meeting with the administrator?!"
"Eighth-graders are the fucking worst, man."
"Wh-what?!"
"Ninth-graders keep their heads down and don't move a muscle, but after a few years sucking on the government's teat, they suddenly grow a spine?"
"You have no idea how serious insulting a public official is...!"
"Fuck off, you piece of shit."
I took a step forward, and Hamond stumbled back.
"Insulting a public official my ass. I'm here with a legitimate complaint, so quit blocking me and step aside."
"H-hey...! You really gonna do this?!"
I strode past him, and Hamond shoved my chest. I grabbed his wrist and gave it a slight twist.
"Gaaahhh!!"
Hamond trembled violently, drool spilling from his mouth in a long string.
"Huuuugh..."
He collapsed to his knees like a ragdoll, glaring up at me with bloodshot eyes.
"Want me to make sure you never hold a pen again?"
Hamond shook his head frantically. I let go, and he clutched his wrist, letting out a weird groan as he slumped to the floor.
I kicked open the city hall doors. The first thing that hit me was the ledgers scattered all over the ground. When Hildeva was in charge, they'd been neatly shelved by year. Now? Total chaos—like a marketplace after a brawl.
On the desk where Hildeva used to work sat a few coin pouches. And there, counting gold coins, was the new administrator, who looked up at the sound of the door.
"What's all this racket...! Huh...?"
The new administrator's jaw dropped when he saw my face, like it was unhinged. He froze solid, malfunctioning like a broken machine. I eyed him right back, taking him in.
Plump upper body like a peddler, stubbly jaw, half-lidded eyes that screamed sleaze, and huge ears. I knew this guy.
"Hey, Zamas."
The administrator flinched at his name.
"H-h-hero... sir... Why are you in a place like this...?"
Right then, Hamond burst in through the door, two guards trailing behind him.
"Sorry, Administrator! We'll drag him out right now!"
The guards grabbed my shoulders, but Zamas shouted desperately.
"Let him go! Now!"
"Y-yes...?"
"Drop your hands this instant!"
"But this guy..."
"Out! All of you!"
At the administrator's furious command, Hamond and the guards slunk out without a peep. The door shut, leaving silence. Zamas looked at me with fearful eyes.
"Hero sir... What business brings you to this backwater city...?"
"You gonna make me stand?"
"N-no, sir!"
Zamas heaved his bulk up, grabbed a chair, and rushed over, kicking and stepping on the scattered ledgers. He placed the chair before me like a servant presenting a throne.
I sat. He stood before me, hands clasped politely. Sweat beaded on his forehead as he cautiously opened his mouth.
"S-so... what brings you here...?"
"This."
Zamas took the tax notice with both hands. He angled his body slightly and read it over before speaking.
"This is an official notice sent via aide to someone accused of amassing wealth through illicit means in this town... But why do you have it, hero sir?"
"That shady fucker? That's me, asshole."
"P-pardon...?"
Zamas scratched his head, looking like he couldn't believe it. I told him I'd settled here and opened an inn.
"Go check the real estate records. My name's on it."
Zamas hurried to the desk, rummaging through drawers and shelves.
"Jesus, kid. You hounded Hildeva like a rat during handover, and you still don't know where shit is?"
"It was... definitely around here somewhere... Please wait just a moment...!"
He found the deed and read it. His face hardened. Dark circles bloomed under his eyes as he turned to me, trembling. He looked a decade older in seconds.
"S-s-s-sorry... I mean... it's just..."
"You see my name and think, 'Fuck him over'?"
"No way! Absolutely not! I just got a report about some guy doing this and that—everything else was the aide's doing!"
Zamas wiped sweat nonstop, making excuses. Still blaming others, huh? Same as ever. Back then, too, he'd sacrificed subordinates left and right to cover embezzling hundreds of gold coins.
"Pay the tax and we're square?"
"N-no... Not at all. You don't have to pay."
Zamas tore the notice to shreds on the spot.
"By the way... hero sir... You're really settling here for good...?"
"Yeah. Guess you'll be seeing me daily."
His already gray face turned ashen.
"Understood..."
Zamas let out a deep sigh laced with despair.
"You hate it?"
"N-no... It's an honor... To share a city with Bertrand Balder, savior of the continent and wielder of the Holy Sword..."
"Hah. Shut up. You forget the NDA?"
"R-right... Of course... Yes, yes..."
Zamas bowed repeatedly.
"So why'd they send you here? Fuck up again?"
"Heh... You know me too well..."
"Old habits die hard. This your last posting, so you figured squeeze a big tax haul before retiring?"
Zamas just grinned without a word.
"Don't pull any weird shit. Lay low till retirement. Wreck my inn business, and it won't be fun."
"Yes... Got it..."
A slimeball like him replacing a competent woman like Hildeva and shoving her off to Apenzel... No wonder the kingdom wasn't advancing—instead, nobles were nibbling away at its lands, leading to decline. As long as it didn't collapse before I kicked the bucket and cut off my pension, it'd be fine.
As I left city hall, Hamond backed away, glaring daggers.
"What're you staring at, punk?"
Still smarting from earlier, he just fumed silently.
"Fuck with me one more time, and you're dead."
With nothing holding me back, my old hero-days speech slipped out unchecked. Hamond paled a bit and scurried back into city hall.
Back at the inn, Della paced anxiously with Kali in her arms, waiting for me.
"Master! Where'd you go?"
"City hall. Filed a complaint over taxes."
"How'd it go...?"
"Fine. No tax."
Della beamed with joy. She'd studied accounting and tax law, so she knew how terrifying taxes were for small business owners. And this notice? Pure nightmare fuel. She'd probably been on pins and needles till I returned. If the inn folded, it'd mean heading back to Bue.
But I couldn't share her unbridled glee. With a greedy bastard like Zamas in charge, Rosens' future looked bleak. The palace would've been better off keeping Hildeva running things... Why send a crook to a city desperate for revival? It made no sense.
A few citizens dropped by for dinner that evening. That's when I heard some shocking news from them.
"Boss, you hear? About the new administrator."
"What? Something happen?"
"He's leaving."
I smirked lightly.
"What kinda lame joke is that?"
"No, for real! He's packing up at city hall right now."
Their faces and tones said no joke, so I got serious.
"Why's he leaving?"
"Dunno details, but someone overheard him yelling to pack up 'cause there's a cursed being in this city."
A cursed being? That crazy fuck Zamas...
"Just saw wagons parked out front, loading luggage on the way over."
I called Della at once.
"Della. Gotta run an errand. You good holding down the inn alone?"
"Y-yes. But where are you going?"
"It's urgent. Tell you later."
I grabbed my cloak from the wall, saddled up at the stable, and galloped to city hall. Sure enough, the administrator's four-horse carriage was just about to depart.
I cut it off, forcing it to stop. Hamond's head popped up from the passenger compartment.
"Why aren't we moving?!"
The guard in the driver's seat replied awkwardly.
"Uh... that guy from this morning's blocking the road..."
Hamond spotted me and ducked back inside like a startled turtle.
"Don't wanna hurt innocents, so keep that carriage parked."
I warned the guard, leaped off my horse, and charged the passenger door. It was locked from inside. I ripped the whole damn door off its hinges.
"Eek!"
Zamas and Hamond recoiled to the opposite wall, still seated.
I climbed in. Hamond clumsily tried to shield Zamas.
"Fuck off. Know your place."
I nodded at his swollen wrist. He flinched and bolted from the compartment.
Now it was just me and Zamas.
"You pig bastard..."