The Clean Freak Dwarf's Workshop
Though the beginning was humble, chapter 12. The corridor was unmistakably inside a dwarf mining city. But when I turned my gaze back to the workshop, it wasn't the filthy mining town at all— it was an entirely different space.
"A dimensional gate..." I muttered, touching the doorframe. Ukun yelled at the sight of me.
"Close the door quick! Dust's comin' in!"
"This is weird, for real..."
Ukun lit the lamp. Not with a match or flint striker, but by pressing a protruding rod a few times, sparks flew, and the flame ignited on its own. The lamp brightly illuminated Ukun's workshop.
I closed the door and stood there, staring blankly at the space. The rectangular workshop was perfectly measured, narrow in width, with another door directly opposite the entrance. Near the entrance was a dwarf-sized bed, half the normal size, its blankets and pillow neatly arranged.
On the bedside table beside the bed, instead of tobacco or an ashtray, there was a bottle with a long stick plugged into it. When I asked what it was, he said it was an air freshener.
"Stick a thin wooden twig into oil infused with mint leaves, and it sucks up the oil while subtly releasing the scent."
No wonder. The moment I stepped into the workshop, a refreshing aroma had hit me. This guy was a hardcore clean-freak dwarf.
"Hey! Take off your shoes!"
Looking down, Ukun's shoes were already neatly aligned. No way—was it because of the dust on my shoes...? I awkwardly kicked off my boots and stepped in barefoot. It felt odd, but the soft carpet on the floor made it surprisingly comfortable.
Across from the bed was a wardrobe. Ukun was pulling out a pair of pants and changing into them. I glanced inside the open wardrobe—clothes sorted by type and color, hanging perfectly on hangers.
This... insane little dwarf bastard...
But the most astonishing thing was the fan-shaped mini bathtub in the corner of the room. Nestled between the walls with rounded edges, it was just big enough for one dwarf. It was empty now, but water probably came from that strange pipe on the wall.
"Phew... that's better. What're you starin' at? Oh, that's my personal tub."
Ukun tapped the edge of the tub with a grin.
"Took a ton of work to make this. Found a nearby aquifer, piped it in, and bashed a few lumps on the heads of idiots who got in the way."
"What? So everyone hates you not 'cause you wash too much, but 'cause you used violence in the process?"
"Eh. Anyway, after all that, I got myself a humble little tub. Granted, conditions only allow cold water."
Ukun ignored my question completely and finished his thought.
"Now it's time to show you what I've made."
With that, Ukun opened the second door opposite and stepped inside. I followed, letting out a gasp of admiration.
The long rectangular inner room had its walls and ceiling plastered with machinery. Bizarre contraptions of incomprehensible design—some still, others creaking as parts whirred.
"Incredible..."
I stared, entranced. I couldn't grasp the principles, let alone guess their uses from appearances alone.
"Porororong! Porororong!"
Suddenly, something small popped out in front of my eyes, making a weird noise. I jolted back in surprise—it was a little bird on a stick zigzagging from a hole atop a gabled clock. It chirped porororong a few times before popping back inside.
"What the hell's that??"
"Clock. Bird comes out on the hour to tell ya."
I turned to the other machines. There was a chubby dwarf wooden doll holding a toothbrush overhead with both hands, beaming happily, bristles forward.
"What's this one?"
Ukun flicked the doll's side, and its belly slid out like a drawer, filled with baking soda powder. As it fully extended, the dwarf's arms lowered slowly, dipping the bristles right into the powder. Then it raised them again. The drawer slid back in, and the toothbrush was coated thickly with soda.
"Machine to dust your toothbrush with baking soda."
"You're insane..."
Ukun chuckled and explained the others. A frog that floated and swam on its own in the bath—probably his bath toy. A wooden box with an ugly dwarf spinning on top, playing beautiful music. Short boots with thick springs for higher, farther jumps. A magical pen where you just open the back to refill ink—no dipping needed. A metal tube that blew adjustable wind when you turned a part—principle unknown.
"What's this? For drying stuff with wind?"
"Nah. For controlling bonfire flames. Stronger wind, fiercer fire."
Amid these wonders, I spotted something unique: a thumb-sized wooden bead, elongated top to bottom, coated in smooth, cool lacquer.
It had a tiny protrusion on the side. I pushed it with my finger, and the bead started vibrating wildly.
"What's this for?"
"Relieves muscle aches. Press it firm against the sore spot—feels damn good."
Ukun answered as the whirring bead spun in my palm.
Oh ho... pretty practical too.
"I knew dwarves were tech geniuses, but not this level. These are amazing and super useful!"
Ukun's face lit up at my praise.
"Never thought I'd live to hear my inventions praised. Other bastards called 'em pointy-eared elf crap."
"Dwarves might not see it as 'dwarven' enough, but to us humans, they're pure convenience. I'd love to take 'em all."
Ukun cleared his throat, wiped the grin off his face, and held out his hand.
"Time to make the Uzarburunt. Hand it over, Balder. The Gagabur brain fluid."
I pulled the bottle from my pocket and gave it to the dwarf. The brain core had fully melted, sloshing inside.
"Out. You might get exposed makin' it."
"What about you?"
Ukun donned a thick leather-like apron and elbow-length gloves, then a face shield with glass eye protection. He pointed at the door.
"If you're sleepin', don't get on the bed—lie on the floor. I cleaned before comin' out."
"What if I put shoes on the bed?"
Ukun struck a pose like he was about to pop the bottle and splash me.
"Hahat! Crazy germaphobe bastard."
I slammed the door in his masked face, swinging my fist at empty air.
How much time passed? Dozing off on the carpet, I woke to taps on my shin. Ukun, mask off, loomed over me, holding a glass bottle of shimmering silvery liquid.
"Done...? That's the Uzarburunt?"
"Yup. This here's the Uzarburunt. The power source to make my bathhouse run proper."
I sat up, peering closely at the bottle. Ukun was short, so even sitting, it was eye-level. Silvery, not quite liquid or solid—flowing like liquid but clumping and rolling like solid. Like a more fluid slime, maybe.
"Looks so weird. Now with this... Ugh! What happened to your face?!"
Ukun's face was beet red, skin partially peeled, dried nosebleed crust everywhere.
"Told ya. Brain fluid's dangerous if exposed. Fuck. Stings like hell. But don't worry—this batch is safe."
He shook the bottle; the silver liquid sloshed and rolled.
"C'mon, let's go. Back at the inn, I'll ask the saintess for holy healing."
"Hey, human. Before we go, pick a few inventions to take."
"What?!"
I was genuinely shocked. Dwarves never gave their stuff to other races. Sell through middlemen at high prices, maybe—but this? Unheard of.
But Ukun wasn't joking; he opened the workshop door, beckoning me in. I followed, stunned.
"What brought this on? You want money or somethin'?"
"Idiot. I said take, not buy."
"No, I mean—why the sudden generosity? Bathed too much and waterlogged your brain?"
"Shut up and pick. Souvenirs for your inn staff too."
I eyed him suspiciously; he snapped.
"Just take 'em! These are shit I can whip up in an hour! Don't cost me nothin'! Take 'em!"
"Hmmm... well, can't pass that up."
Not one to waste the chance, I grabbed everything I'd eyed: the clock, swimming frog, toothbrush dwarf, music box, spring boots, vibrating bead, ink pen, wind tube.
Others tempted, but too big or inn-inappropriate, so I stopped there. Ukun even fetched a sack to help pack.
"You're my lifesaver too. And first to praise my inventions—human who knows jack about machines, not even a dwarf."
"That's why, huh. Fine by me—free dwarf tech."
We finished prepping. Ukun stowed the Uzarburunt bottle in a sack stuffed with straw and doused the lamp.
"Urk!"
Back in the corridor, my stomach suddenly churned; I dry-heaved.