Small Beginnings (5)
Ukun stayed silent for a while before suddenly rummaging in his pocket and spreading a neatly folded sheet of paper across the table. "Take a look at this, Balder."
It was an incredibly complex blueprint. Mine looked like something a three-year-old had scribbled by comparison.
"This the bathhouse you were talking about? From the looks of it... I can't even picture it."
"Of course you can't. Dwarf blueprints are only readable by dwarves. Let me explain. But first, I gotta tell you why your bathhouse design is total garbage."
Ukun laid my paper next to his blueprint.
"First off, filling a plot this size with water? The weight would be insane. Without proper support, no amount of marble walls will save it—it'll warp, crack, and leak no matter what."
"Huh. We can figure something out for that. It's not impossible, right?"
Ignoring my half-assed response, Ukun pressed on. "Second, you gonna fill it once and call it a day? Hundreds, thousands of people soaking in there—you planning to never change the water?"
"Well... yeah, we'd have to drain and refill it."
"How? Sure, with your brute strength, maybe. But every damn day? Good luck."
I'd thought about that one. Draining wasn't hard—just grab a huge tub and bail endlessly. The problem? It wouldn't tire me out, but the pure time sink would fuck up inn operations.
"That's why I figured dig a canal, set up a waterwheel. You know, climb on top and pedal to pump water upside-down."
"Pulling from the river behind the inn? Idiot. No way on that slope. And what about winter when the river freezes?"
"...Shit, yeah."
I shut my mouth. All my ideas were pipe dreams.
Ukun shoved my blueprint aside and centered his. He jabbed it with a thick finger. "Won't bore you with details you'll never get. Simple version: See this? It pulls water into that big tank here. Fire under the tank heats it up."
"What's this? And what's this long thing?"
"This sucks water up with pressure. No point explaining—you won't get it. The long one's an iron pipe. Water flows up through it."
"Won't it rust inside...? Nah, dwarf-made, so no rust. But why two tanks?"
"One hot water, one cold. Mix 'em for the right temp in the baths."
Ukun took a beer swig like it was water and continued. "That's the supply system. River's right there, so no shortages. Winter? Pressure setup's on the riverbed—ice won't matter."
"Got it. Next."
"Now the baths inside. Hot, lukewarm, cold sections. Pipes feed 'em automatically; valves at the ends to shut off."
Pipes snaked from the tanks to huge rectangular pools. Lukewarm got both hot and cold lines.
"Dwarf-style floors—no leaks ever. And this? Biggest difference from your crap design."
A small circle marked the center of each pool. Drain, Ukun said.
"Rubber plug seals it normally. Open when needed to drain. Pipes lead downstream past the pressure unit."
"Fresh water in, dirty straight out. Fucking genius."
"Damn right! Your way? It'd be a mold farm, not a bathhouse."
I nodded, scanning the blueprint. River water to pressure pump, pipes to dual tanks. Tanks to baths with valves. Dirty water out drains. Simple structure anyone could dream up—but the dwarf magic was in the pressure pumps, valves, pipes. No dwarves, no dice.
Then I spotted extra pipes from the tanks, not to baths but straight somewhere else, branching like tree limbs.
"This?"
"Ah. Showers before and after baths."
Valves there too, hot/cold mix raining down, he said. Hard to visualize.
"Why shower before the bath? Isn't the bath for washing?"
"You filthy pig! That'd dirty the bathwater! Baths are for soaking! Wash here, here, here!"
Ukun bellowed like I'd blasphemed, stabbing the blueprint with his finger.
"And this? Extra pipe in the bath?"
"Jet nozzle. Lean back—feels like a massage."
Damn... this dwarf's creative. Never crossed my mind.
"Alright, got the water stuff. With dwarf parts, it's doable. That's it?"
"That's washing. Need changing rooms too."
Ukun pulled another blueprint. Separate from baths: lockers with keys.
"Not bad. Smells like profit."
"You greedy bastard! It's not about money!"
"Bullshit! I do it for the money!"
I slammed the table. The corner sheared off like a knife cut, matching my fist.
Ukun blanched. "Aigoo... wrecked it... Anyway, looks good. Pencil?"
I snatched his pencil, scribbling lines. "Tunnel from inn... glass wall river view... men/women separate... rooftop railing... changing room vending, nap rooms with cots..."
Ukun nodded at my rough sketches, eyes sparkling. "Nice. Beyond washing—relax, recharge. You got instincts."
He actually praised me. Must feel good finding a kindred spirit.
I tossed the pencil. "Got the picture. Dwarves handle details. Now the real talk."
Ukun's face darkened—he knew costs were coming. Back out now? Crushing.
"Dwarf style: total cost?"
"Two thousand gold coins."
"Two hundred's fair... WHAT?!"
Employees peeked from railings and stairs. "Boss, everything okay?!"
"Yeah... nothing. Back to work."
Fuck... two thousand gold? I calmed my pounding heart, glaring at Ukun. "You crazy runt. Admin rejected for a reason—why play victim? Building in gold?!"
"This scale in gold? You'd pay more."
"Figure of speech! Why so pricey? Fancy materials max four hundred. Labor included?"
"No labor fee. Reason's Uzarburunt. In human terms... perpetual motion fluid?"
"Explain simply."
He tapped the pressure unit. "Can't dive riverbed to crank it manually every time. Auto-pump's better."
"Uzarburunt keeps it running?"
"Repeats the motion. Same thing. Tanks auto-fill—don't worry, it's dwarf-engineered beyond you."
Summary: Fluid powers pump nonstop, jacked costs sky-high. No fluid? Reasonable price.
"Ditch it. Redesign manual pump. Then you're hired."
"What? No Uzarburunt?! Fuck that—deal off!"
Ukun leaped from his chair, raging. What the hell now?
"Auto-pump's the heart of my design! No way! Forget it!"
Earlier I'd have said piss off. Now? Blueprint's gold—no human could match it.
I backpedaled. "Dwarf, what's Uzarburunt? Where from?"
"Buy it? Dream on, Balder. Extract from extinct Gagabur brains. Dwarf elders only."
"Gagabur?"
"Yeah. Common once, but post-Demon King? Wiped out..."
"Shut it."
I silenced him. Who knows monsters? I bellowed for Pelle.
She paused mid-stairs, bored expression fixed on me.
"Pelle. You know where Ammugar lives now?"