Your Esteemed Head Chef (1)
Nearly a week after leaving the inn, we finally returned to Rosens. The rainy season had retreated in the meantime, replaced by the scorching sun blazing over the peaks of the Vurn Mountains, sending heat haze rising and baking the city below. The haze was everywhere—shimmering over the cobblestone roads and undulating across the gabled rooftops, melting Rosens in sweltering heat. Up north, I'd thought the cold was so brutal that summer might be preferable, but now that real summer had arrived, the northern chill didn't seem so bad after all.
The midday madness had emptied the streets of people. Most hid under shop awnings or in the shade of roadside trees, escaping the brutal sun. Only a single scrawny dog, tongue lolling out, panted its way across the haze-filled road. Sweat-drenched guards on patrol spotted me and called out greetings. Pelle and I had shed all the heavy winter gear we'd bundled up in so preciously up north. My shirt was soaked through, but Pelle barely broke a sweat. Recalling how her body looked during openness—something like a dragon or lizard—I wondered if she was one of those creatures that didn't sweat at all. But she'd definitely sweated during last night's relationship-improvement activities, so maybe she just had a high heat tolerance.
"What if we get back to the inn and Idi's already dead?"
"Then we'd have to give her a proper funeral."
"Haha..."
Exchanging lame jokes and lame replies, we stepped into the inn's front yard. A broad awning stretched over Kali's doghouse at the entrance, blocking the sun. Kali, sprawled out lazily beneath it, spotted me and sprang to her feet.
"Woof! Woofwoofwoofwoooooome back!!!"
Kali barked like a maniac and charged at me like a bullet. She seemed more thrilled to see me again than afraid of the hellhorse. Her tail wagged so furiously it was a blur as she rolled onto her back, belly up. Laughing, I scratched her tummy vigorously. Pelle dismounted the hellhorse and carefully lifted the bag containing Asenaris from the saddle.
"Master!!"
The inn door flew open as if it might shatter, and Della bounded down the stairs in one leap, charging straight at me.
"Oof!"
She crashed into my chest arms-wide before I could dodge, knocking the wind out of me and forcing me back a few steps.
"Master! You're finally back. Are you hurt anywhere?! Frostbite, or wounds from fighting trolls...?"
Della pawed at my nose and ears frantically, her big blue eyes scanning every inch of my face.
"I'm fine. Not a scratch on me."
I gently took her wrists and lowered her hands. Della let out a long sigh of relief.
"I was so worried I couldn't sleep at night. What if something happened to you..."
She gave me another thorough once-over, confirmed I was truly unharmed, then moved on to Pelle, randomly prodding her face and horns for injuries.
"Oh? You're back?"
A cheerful voice made me turn. Marim stood there, fresh from a lunch delivery with an empty bag slung over her shoulder. For a split second, seeing her in this heat, I mistook her for someone in flesh-colored tights. But no—it was just Marim's actual skin. An outrageously short pair of pants that left half her butt exposed, a sleeveless crop top barely covering her chest, and rugged tall boots that somehow matched the skimpy outfit. I got the heat thing, but... strutting around town in those rags that barely covered the essentials?
"That outfit looks... pretty breezy."
"It's hot out. Hehe."
"Yeah. Well... as long as you're happy."
"Did you catch that cooling fairy?"
"In the bag."
Pelle opened the bag, and Della and Marim crowded in to peek.
"Oh my, how cute!"
Della clapped in delight, at a loss for words. Marim thrust her hand inside, then yanked it out with a yelp.
"Eek! It's freezing!"
"Beautiful humans!"
"This really is a great place!"
"They talk?!"
The Asenaris chattered and bounced around. I glanced at Pelle, who translated.
"They say there are lots of beautiful humans and this must be a really good place."
"Hehe. These guys have good taste."
Marim giggled slyly and tried petting one again, only to pull her hand out and huff on it to warm up. Hands going numb in midsummer—it'd take some getting used to. Speaking of which, where was Idwild, who must have been waiting most eagerly for the Asenaris? She should be barreling out here, boobs bouncing, by now.
"Della. Where's Idwild?"
"She's soaking in the third-floor tub. She was so out of it from the heat that I just sent her up to bathe."
"Not a hippo... Must've sweated buckets. Let's head inside first."
Stepping into the hall, a stuffy warmth hit us like a wall. The open windows let in no breeze—just stinging sunlight. Marim tossed her bag aside, muttering about needing a wash, and bolted upstairs. Pelle chewed her lip anxiously about ingredients left in this heat and started toward the pantry. I grabbed her arm.
"First things first—figure out the Asenaris. It's hot as hell."
"One per floor. The first and second are double-height, so two there and one on the third."
"Sounds good. What about housing?"
"For now, punch holes in small boxes and hang them on the walls."
And so, the Asenaris were finally installed(?) at the inn. We nailed wooden boxes to the wall right under the troll skull trophy on the first floor and in the middle of the third-floor hallway. Released inside, they giggled in thin voices and slipped right in. The lone one on the third floor looked a bit glum, though. Pelle said they'd be fine alone, but it still tugged at the heartstrings.
With the windows shut, cool air soon seeped from the boxes' holes, gradually lowering the inn's temperature.
"Whoa... amazing..."
Della reached toward a box, unable to hide her awe. I'd worried it might get too cold, but the summer heat balanced it perfectly at a refreshing chill. The sticky air turned crisp and dry. Reveling in the comfort, Della clasped her hands and sang.
"Master~ brought ice fairies~ for us~"
She improvised a tuneless ditty, off-key and off-beat, beaming with joy.
"If there are any guests, explain and leave the doors open. Tell 'em it'll cool down."
"Yessir~"
I watched Della's cheerful ascent, then headed to the kitchen. Pelle was loading spoiled ingredients into a basket.
"Everything's rotted from the heat."
"Just reapply preservation rituals from now on. Trivial compared to catching the Asenaris."
But that didn't console her. Her face darkened with each full basket. Even before our midnight friendship-building, she was the type to neatly fold shed clothes—meticulous to a fault. Wasting chunks of ingredients like this had to hurt.
As Pelle hauled the rot to the river out the back door, I climbed to the third floor to check on Idwild. Voices drifted from the staff bath.
"That tickles, Marim..."
"Mollang mollang, feels so good. Wish my boobs were this big."
"They'd hurt like hell running, though..."
That mischievous half-elf was apparently groping Idwild's chest for fun. barge in now, and Marim would flip out even if Idwild wouldn't mind. Better come back later.
At the first-floor bar, I reviewed the ledger Della had tidied in my absence. Her neat script showed everything in perfect order. At this level, maybe it was time to give her more authority. The more the staff handled, the easier it got for the boss.
"Uuuuughhh..."
A guttural undead wail startled me—I whipped around to the Holy Sword on the wall. But it showed no reaction. What the—?
"Uuuuughhh... so cooool..."
It was just Idwild, shuffling down the stairs. Fresh from her bath and fluffy, she stretched her arms wide, savoring the chill. Eyes closed, she groaned low like an old man sinking into a hot tub.
"Uuuuuhhh... cooool..."
"Feeling it?"
"Huh...? Bertrand... you're back..."
She approached, wafting strong soap scent. She glanced at me, then at the Asenaris house(?) under the troll skull.
"You really caught them... for me. Thanks..."
"Eh, kill two birds. Now I can work you for your pay."
"Hehe..."
Idwild chuckled darkly, wriggling against me. She peeked up slyly.
"So now... we can do it without sweating from here on...?"
"Dunno... To cool the rooms, we'd need doors open. Can we hide from the others?"
"Or... come down here when everyone's asleep... hehe... or not..."
Midnight in the empty hall? I'd pegged her as just big-boobed and dim, but she was turning out pretty cunning...
Then, a ferocious shout erupted from outside.
"Bertraaaaaang-!!!!!"