Welcome to the World of Losers
Chris cut in, ticking it off on his fingers.
"We're at three in ten right now. We haven't hit four yet, so there's still room for at least one more."
The squad's faces eased. Right. One of us is still left. Each of them was privately certain that the one would be himself.
Alex dumped a bucket of cold water straight onto that hope.
"Let me give you one more statistic. Most people sense mana within six months. After that, the ones who still manage it are few enough to count on your fingers."
With that he took the good mood the squad had been enjoying before he arrived, shoved it down into the cellar, and left the Lion Pavilion in that splay-footed swagger of his.
The strength went out of them, and they dropped onto the sofa.
Faye asked, "Do you think Alex is telling the truth?"
She looked ready to cry at any moment.
Just then Juan came into the lounge with his arms full of groceries, and stopped short at the sight of them sprawled there, utterly drained.
"Heh heh heh."
He let out that unpleasant little laugh and went on into the dining room.
"I hate that man," Alice said.
"Same," said Smith.
"Me too," said Faye. "He's so creepy."
An hour later Juan came back out, wiping his hands on his apron.
"Made something special today. Eat up."
When a man who never did anything but grumble suddenly turned kind, suspicion followed at once. Chris's brow tightened.
"Did you do something to the food?"
"No. I put everything I had into the cooking today."
"Why?"
"You lot have been having a rough stretch for days now. I had the date wrong."
"No, we haven't."
Until Alex showed up, they had been in excellent spirits. Take the whole stretch together and today had been the best day since they moved into the Lion Pavilion.
Juan grinned as if he already knew all of it.
"Time really does fly."
"That's a strange thing to say out of nowhere."
"I've been so busy I didn't notice how much time had passed. Only realized it today."
He even put on a look of deep feeling.
"To think six months have already gone by."
Chris couldn't begin to guess what he was driving at.
"Are you feeling all right?"
"I saw you lot loafing around in the square."
Did it grate on him, a man who had clung to mana for thirty-six years, to watch them playing?
"We're allowed to take a day off."
"You came down to the village."
"So what?"
"That's proof you were issued passage permits. They usually hand those out once six months have passed. So that time has come already, has it."
A deep line creased the space between Chris's brows.
"What are you talking about...?"
"Why do you think the Tower gave you passage permits? It isn't as if you asked for them."
"Just say what you want to say!"
His voice had gone sharp.
"Once six months pass, the number of people who sense mana falls off a cliff. That's when the Tower issues the permits. It's their way of telling you to go down to the village and start looking for a way to live."
Tony shot to his feet.
"You bastard!"
Juan didn't so much as bristle at the curse.
"Now you're truly going to be my juniors."
He spread both arms in a mock embrace.
"Shut up!"
"Bwahahaha."
Juan left the Lion Pavilion trailing a laugh steeped in madness. The mood Alex had already dragged underground punched clean through the bedrock.
For the nobles, displeasure was the end of it. Alice, though, thought about it practically. Given her circumstances, she could hardly afford to stop at being offended.
"If we go down to the village, does a way to live actually open up?" she asked.
"Outsiders can't enter the Tower, remember. They stay in the village and trade with it. I hear the merchant companies are enormous."
"Then we could get hired by one."
From a merchant's point of view, apprentices who had actually lived inside might well be more attractive than complete outsiders who knew nothing about the Tower at all.
"You really think so?" Smith said. "Let's be honest. We barely know anything about the Tower ourselves."
Chris scratched his stomach. "We know someone, though."
"Know someone?"
"Mage David. A connection like that has to count for something."
"Ah. True."
"If not a company, we could work at an inn or a restaurant that does business with them. It would sting the pride, but we could also work as Tower staff, the way Juan does."
He, Smith, and Alice were not in the same position as the nobles. Failure did not mean they could simply turn around and go home.
Smith laced his fingers behind his head. "Maybe I ought to start going down to the village and looking for work."
Smith had always insisted he would sense mana. Hearing him talk so weakly left a bad taste.
"No. You're going to be a mage."
"You really think so?"
Some things stay out of reach no matter how hard you try. What will not happen will not happen. Even so, Chris cheered him on against his own thoughts.
"I always figured that if a mage ever came out of us slaves, it would be you."
Smith brightened. "Yeah?"
"Yeah."
"Honestly, I thought so too."
"Gross," said Alice.
That cleared the air among the former slaves. Everyone else was still under a cloud.
A sticky wind blew through, and then the rain began. Chris, already on his way down to Stratton Village, was soaked to the skin.
If it had started once he was in the village, he would have run for cover. Now that even his underclothes were drenched, there was no point in running. Wetter was wetter, and that was all. If anything, the thought left him oddly at ease.
He gave a cheerful wave to the mermaid statue on the fountain and stepped into Brian Magic Store. Donna looked at him, puzzled.
"It isn't laundry day. What are you doing down here?"
Water dripped from his hair. Wringing it out, Chris said, "Do you have a towel?"
Donna tossed him one. He wiped his head and answered, "Two more months and it'll be a year."
"Has it been that long already?"
"Yes."
"Time really flies. So?"
"I'm thinking it might be about time to give up."
"Good thinking."
Chris's face soured.
"Aren't you supposed to cheer me on? Tell me I'm definitely the sort who'll make it, that I'm a late bloomer, that I'm certain to succeed?"
"Why would I?"
"Because that's how you sell the Mana Helmet. A man who's given up isn't going to spend a fortune on one."
Donna smiled a meaningful smile.
"I don't have to sell it to you."
"What!"
Chris's nostrils flared.
"No. It sold?"
"It sold."
"What kind of lunatic in the world buys something that expensive?"
"A pauper like you wouldn't know, but the world is full of rich people."
"That thing is a scam."
Donna clicked her tongue.
"You were ready to buy it yourself. The moment I say it's sold, listen to you, sneering that it's a scam. Young man, if you want to succeed, keep a cleaner heart."
Chris could never have bought the Mana Helmet. Even if he scrimped for thirty-six years the way Juan had, he still would not have gathered a hundred gold coins. He had no business regretting the sale, and yet it felt as if something of his had been taken from him, and the unfairness of it burned.
"If I pooled money with the others in my cohort..."
Donna cut him off.
"Anyone with that kind of spare coin would be among the more powerful nobles. Do you really think they'd share a Mana Helmet with you?"
"Mmm."
"To own it jointly you'd have to cover at least twenty percent of the price. Do you have that kind of money?"
He didn't. Not even close. Which was why he had never so much as mentioned it to his companions in the Lion Pavilion.
"Who bought it?"
Donna shook her head.
"I can't go around disclosing a customer's secrets."
Plenty of apprentices came down to Stratton Village to amuse themselves. Even on a foul day like this one, he had seen as many as ten. Some of them must have stopped in at Brian Magic Store, and one of them must have fallen for the Mana Helmet Donna showed off. The same way Chris had.
"Thank you for the towel."
He returned it with careful courtesy. Whenever laundry day came, he always stopped by to ask about the Mana Helmet. It was a habit he repeated without fail, a private little ritual of his own. That ritual was broken now. He would never set foot in Brian Magic Store again.
"Thank you for everything. Take care of yourself."
Donna caught the wrongness in it.
"You're not coming back?"
"No. There's no reason to."
"New stock might come in."
"Even if it does, I don't have the money. Feels as if I had one long dream. A dream I was never going to reach."
Donna clicked her tongue.
"Child, if you leave like that, this old woman won't feel right about it."
Chris smiled bitterly.
"How long have we even known each other? What's there to feel bad about? We're practically strangers."
"That isn't how this old woman feels. When I look at the young men in the village, they're like sons to me. Like grandsons."
She bit her lip as if she had come to some great decision.
"Come here. I've got a gift for you."
"I'm all right."
"When an elder offers you something, you take it and say thank you."
"I'll just take the thought."
"This gift might change your life."
Put like that, his interest stirred. Chris walked over to her. His shoes were soaked through, and they squelched with every step.
"What is it?"
Donna drew a necklace from her pocket.
"This."
He took it before he quite knew what he was doing, and his face went blank.
"A necklace? Why...?"
A crudely shaped stone hung from it. The cord wasn't metal, either. It was rough cloth.
If you're going to give me something, give me one with a jewel on it. Or a gold necklace.
"It's a lucky necklace."
"Lucky..."
"This will bring you luck."
Chris looked at her with open doubt. Donna's expression turned serious.
"It's real."
He didn't really believe her, but he bobbed his head anyway. A gift was still a gift.
"Thank you."
Then Donna held out her hand and smashed the warm mood to pieces.
"It's one gold coin."
"Damn it!"
Annoyance surged past irritation into anger. He was about to fling the necklace away when she said quickly, "I'm not asking for it now. You can pay later."
"I don't like buying on credit."
"This isn't credit."
"How is it different?"
"If you decide that luck really did come, you pay me. If it didn't, you don't have to."
The terms were reasonable enough, but the mood was already spoiled, and he didn't want it.
"I'm fine."
"Just try wearing it."
Putting on a necklace wouldn't hurt him. Chris hesitated, then slipped it over his head.
Oh!
A warm current seemed to flow out of the stone. Startled, he closed his hand around it. It wasn't actually giving off heat. Even so, a cozy feeling settled over him, and his mind grew calm.
Donna studied his face. "Not bad, is it?"
"No. It's nice."
"Take it."
"If there's no luck, I won't pay. That's certain, right?"
"Of course. Would I scam a boy who's like my own grandson?"
Chris made sure a second time.
"You can't ask me for the money later."
"I said I won't."
In a better mood, he left Donna's shop. He had meant to stop by Stan General Store and ask about a job, but with the necklace around his neck that impulse was gone.
Let's see it through to the end.
Somehow, it felt as if something good was about to happen.
Whistling, humming under his breath, Chris headed for the Lion Pavilion.
To state the conclusion first: the lucky necklace brought no luck at all. With one month left before the anniversary of his moving into the Lion Pavilion, Chris gave up completely. He surrendered.
I have no talent.
Giving up left his heart at ease. At ease, and yet... at ease, and yet... the tears kept coming.
He blew his nose and rubbed his eyes.
"Enough. This is enough. It's enough."