The Maid's Cleaning
I have committed a grave sin.
I feel like I need to go to confession.
After all, I was a high treason criminal who broke my promise to the viewers and selfishly pushed forward the stream time.
Hmm. Is it that bad? Well, maybe not quite that bad.
If we're weighing the severity of the crime, it might just be on the level of a petty misdemeanor.
Anyway, I can't undo my mistake, but I figured I should at least make an effort to pick up the pieces.
Therefore, I agonized and pondered over how to deliver a heartfelt apology.
???
What's this all of a sudden
I heard that standing in front of a green screen when apologizing makes it more effective.
To implement this green background, I painstakingly painted a wooden board with dye, stroke by stroke.
Thank goodness the Subspace Shop sells dye.
What's with this crappy green board
What is she trying to show us this time
Yoo-yeon, I'm sorry, but could you please tryhard? It's the 5th floor.
Let's do this. The standard apology.
I took a deep breath and was about to speak my first words... but stopped.
I just turned on the stream; there's no way viewers are watching right away.
Let's wait a bit before starting.
"......"
Ffffffuck, what is she trying to do
Stop stalling already
Yoo-yeon, please tryhard, I beg you
Why is she suddenly acting like this
"!"
A problem arose.
While waiting, I forgot the script I had prepared.
If more time passes like this, it'll be dangerous. I have no time to waste.
"I am sorry."
Yea?
Suddenly?
One second passed. Two more seconds passed while I was thinking.
I should have practiced more before coming. What was I supposed to say next?
While thinking that, five whole seconds passed!
"The promise with the viewers-"
The promise?
The promise... the promise... I felt my mind go blank.
At this rate, the viewers might think I'm weird.
Let's just talk and think at the same time.
"IapologizeforcarelesslybreakingitandturningonthestreamwheneverIpleased
insteadofattherighttime
Iwilltrytomakesurethisdoesnothappenagaininthefutureand-"
What's with the sudden rap
First, calm down and explain the situation
Yoo-yeon, Yoo-yeon, are you good at rapping now too...?
The fact that I can hear every word clearly means her diction is insane;
"IdidntwriteascriptsoIforgotmynextlinebutmynameisyoo-yeon(flexible)sopleasebeflexiblewithmethankyou."
Uh...
This shameless b*tch?
Don't call Yoo-yeon a b*tch
"VV."
「You have acquired Maid Points.」
Yeah yeah, I wasn't particularly mad anyway but I'll forgive you
Yoo-yeon needs to rest when she needs to rest yeah;
It's right to prep everything and stream at your own pace
Ugh. I think I was too ill-mannered.
Feeling like the power of my apology was cut in half, I collapsed with a thud.
Since I collapsed, I just lay there.
It's fine because no matter where I roll, I don't get dirty.
?
Maid Dignity: Collapsing Apology.
I slowly offered my apology with all my sincerity.
"I think I was too ill-mannered."
I've never seen anyone as full of manners as you in my entire life
But looking at you right now, it's a bit hard to call that well-mannered
"From now on, I will comply with broadcasting guidelines and become a well-mannered maid. Thank you."
???
You're going to moderate the rating now?
I want to see Shotgun Yoo-yeon in real-time though??
"......"
What's with suddenly falling asleep
I really wanna use the 'dumbfounded' emote right now
Yoo-yeon, you can't sleep here
If you're gonna sleep, go to the resting floor and sleep!!!!!
Gasp. I dozed off.
Making a mistake like this so soon after declaring I'd be a well-mannered maid.
But I am Han Yoo-yeon. The authority on flexible damage control.
Let's smoothly cover this up.
"Good morning. Did you sleep well? I am Han Yoo-yeon."
Ah, yes, good morning to you
I just got off the night shift though?
If Yoo-yeon says it's a good morning, then it's a good morning
Who here wouldn't know that you're Han Yoo-yeon
"The goal for the 5th floor is-"
Glance. I quickly speed-read the scenario info.
「Tower of Trials 5th Floor - Blood General」
「The True Ancestor Valerius's confidant, the Blood General, has personally arrived leading an army. He intends to conquer the forward base and raise a toast with the blood of humans.」
「Main Objective: Defeat the Blood General and defend the forward base.」
"It says the main objective is to defeat Mr. Blood General and defend the forward base."
I love how you consistently add 'Mr.' to enemies
I already feel sorry for the General
???: Eeek... Monster... Monster...!
Don't count your chickens yet. The 5th floor is different.
Yoo-yeon, that bastard is immortal no matter how much you beat him to death, so you have to find and solve his gimmick first.
"First of all, rather than handling this alone this time, I'm going to try cooperating with the soldiers."
Suddenly?
Yoo-yeon must be tired too
I guess going solo-sweep mode is too tough after all
But with Yoo-yeon's level, wouldn't the soldiers just be dead weight?
She might need them to bypass the immortality gimmick
"The soldiers must have trained hard to fight the vampires, so I feel it would be ill-mannered if I dealt with everything by myself."
It was because of manners?!
I'm a Serbane soldier and I don't want to fight
Wahh Mommy Yoo-yeon, do it for me...
It seemed the enemy forces hadn't arrived yet.
I leisurely and flexibly walked toward the front of the forward base.
Upon seeing me, the soldiers came out to greet me, maintaining incredibly perfect military posture.
Seeing the Commander and the soldiers I met on the supply route looking at me with eyes full of excitement, they must have wanted to keep seeing the "Maid Flame Peace (V-sign)" series.
To repay their support, I should expand the Maid Peace series later.
"We greet the Hero!"
"?"
"We apologize for committing a disrespect by failing to recognize the Hero!!"
"?? You haven't done anything disrespectful to me."
"To dare suspect that Lady Yoo-yeon might be a vampire-"
"Actually, I am a vampire."
"Excuse me?!?!"
"I'm going to bite you all. Rawr."
I opened my mouth wide with a "Maid Dignity: Double Peace" sign.
Even I thought it was a very threatening posture.
Aaaaaaah
Kuaaagh, she's so f*cking cute, fffuuuuuck
「You have acquired Maid Points.」
「You have acquired Maid Points.」
「You have acquired Maid Points.」
「You have acquired Maid Points.」
Mr. Tower. Have you still not fixed the bug?
Or were you terrified of my posture?
To create a posture that threatens even Mr. Tower. I am afraid of myself.
For the sake of humanity, I shall seal this posture. Thank you.
Naturally, as a maid affiliated with humanity, I was able to enter the Serbane forward base.
The soldiers hovered around me with completely relaxed expressions, speaking with goofy smiles on their faces.
"B-by any chance... the Maid Cosmic Triple Flame Tornado Peace..."
"V."
"Uwoooaaah!!"
No, how does she do that so easily;;
Yoo-yeon, how do you manage your mana? Please teach me.
It's a stunt that just draws admiration every time I see it.
She burned... the sky...
Receiving the soldiers' applause, I had a thought.
Am I committing a disrespect against Mr. Sky?
I'm sorry, Mr. Sky. Will you accept my apology?
No answer returned. He must have died. Oh my.
The power of the Maid Cosmic Triple Flame Tornado Peace was just that terrifying.
Still, since you're in the sky, you'll reach Heaven quickly.
I hope you're happy there.
After taking a 1-second moment of silence, I asked Mr. Ground.
Mr. Ground. Where should I bury Mr. Sky?
No answer returned. He must have died. Oh my.
The range of the Maid Cosmic Triple Flame Tornado Peace was just that wide.
Still, since you're the ground, it saves me the trouble of burying you. Thank you. Be happy.
Anyway, to ensure the sacrifices of Mr. Sky and Mr. Ground were not in vain, I had to focus on the trial.
The walls of the forward base were crumbling in various places, and many of the internal facilities were collapsed and left neglected.
Why is that? I definitely thought I protected them well with my Maid-Musou sweep.
"Lady Yoo-yeon. Have you come to help us this time as well...?"
"Yes. I heard the Blood General is coming here."
"The Blood General...!"
The soldiers' eyes wavered for a moment before turning serene.
"With you here, Lady Yoo-yeon, I cannot imagine us losing."
"V."
"Haha. Blood General or whatever, wouldn't at least a True Ancestor have to come to be a match for you, Lady Yoo-yeon?"
"VV."
He's not wrong
Wdym not wrong, even a True Ancestor would probably get completely clapped by Yoo-yeon
F*ck guys, stop counting your chickens before they hatch
Don't set up flags
"This time, I'll be cheering from the back. Good luck, soldiers."
"...Huh?"
"It must have been troublesome for you because I've been taking out your share of enemies all this time. You don't have to worry about that anymore."
"Huh??"
"While you deal with the enemies, I'll be cleaning. Though, I'll step in if things go bad."
"No, Lady Yoo-yeon-"
"??"
A soldier next to him stopped the one who was about to say something to me.
Then, whisper-whisper. They murmured something into each other's ears, and then nodded with determined faces.
"...Understood, Lady Yoo-yeon. We will fight with all our might so you can preserve your strength as much as possible."
"Oh. Do your best."
"Yes, sir!! Leave it to us!!"
Well what do you know, they actually have some grit
They're the last surviving soldiers in a doomed world, makes sense
How long are they going to get carried by Yoo-yeon? If they have any shame, they should know how to handle themselves.
Fr
Handling it themselves = Not easy...
(Then die! Swordsman Emote)
I should just do some cleaning for now.
I saw too much of a maid's archenemy: dust.
By nature, an excellent maid must never tolerate dust.
Without hesitation, I threw myself into a pile of dust.
"L-Lady Yoo-yeon?!"
Eh? Why is she suddenly doing this
Is Yoo-yeon broken?
Broken my ass, is Yoo-yeon a machine?
Paaaht-
Maid Dignity, working hard again today.
The dust that touches my body gets annihilated, cleaning the surroundings.
Actually, there was no paaaht sound effect.
Obviously. There's no way dust disappearing would have a sound effect like that.
To clean quickly, I was about to roll around on the floor, but at the same time, I realized a crucial problem.
"Wait... the dust...?!"
Oh what, the surroundings got f*cking clean
Meanwhile Yoo-yeon isn't getting dirty at all
Human vacuum cleaner Han Yoo-yeon, shivers
Isn't rolling on the floor an act that degrades one's dignity?
I pictured it for a moment. The sight of maid Han Yoo-yeon rolling over and over on the floor.
As someone who was once neither a Hero, nor a Sage, nor a Saintess, nor a Divine Archer, is it really okay for me to do such an undignified act?
For the majesty of the Hero's party, I shouldn't do it.
As someone who values dignity, it's an utterly unacceptable act.
I needed a cleaning tool.
Once my thoughts reached that point, it occurred to me to check the Subspace Shop.
「Subspace Shop: An excellent maid must be able to cope with any situation. These items will improve your coping abilities.」
「Owned Maid Points: 123,456,789」
Mr. Tower. The Maid Points are weird. Is it a bug?
「You have acquired Maid Points.」
「Owned Maid Points: 124,923,482」
It was just a coincidence. Thank you.
But is it supposed to keep going up like this?
Even if it's wrong, please tell me it's right. Thank you.
For now, I typed 'cleaning' into the shop's search bar.
「Maid's Broom (E): 10P
A broom for cleaning.」
I see. From the length adjustment feature to the design, it's an excellent cleaning tool.
There were no other items besides the broom.
Perhaps other items get added when my maid cleaning rank increases?
I bought the broom for now. And while I was at it, I enhanced it.
I have to relieve my urge to enhance things every now and then, so I can resist the temptation of enhancing my precious Mr. Shotgun.
「Would you like to enhance the Maid's Broom (E)? (Success Rate 90%)」
「It has been enhanced to Maid's Broom (D).」
「Would you like to enhance the Maid's Broom (D)? (Success Rate 70%)」
「It has been enhanced to Maid's Broom (C).」
Enhance. Enhance. Enhance.
I pressed the button as if possessed.
「It has been enhanced to Maid's Broom (S).」
"?"
「Would you like to enhance the Maid's Broom (S)? (Success Rate 0.1%)」
「It has been enhanced to Maid's Broom (EX).」
"???"
「Maid's Broom (EX)
A broom for cleaning.」
"?????"
I rubbed my eyes and checked again.
Why... did it succeed...? And why... is the description exactly the same...???
Is something wrong with my eyes? Am I perhaps mistaking an E-rank for an EX-rank?
Doubting my own eyes, I took out the broom and swept the dust near the fortress wall.
"????????"
???????????
Along with the dust, the fortress wall itself completely vanished.