Chapter 17. If This Moment Is a Dream, Then...
Jang Hwa-young could not focus her mind for even a single moment throughout the entire day. She felt the shameless, relentless gaze directed at her ceaselessly, like a weight pressing down from above.
Why…? Why is Kang-jun looking at me like that…? No way.
She tried to interpret the meaning in his eyes, but every time she did, lewd fantasies flooded back and tormented her. She would snap back into meditation each time, yet even with her eyes closed the memories came sharper than ever.
I’ve truly gone mad. I’ve lost my mind—completely!
She felt as if she were about to lose her sanity. Over forty years of living, she had never felt this tangled inside her head. It had been far more peaceful when she was inside the dungeon. Mother, Father… This is really serious. Please help me.
Huu… huu. From evening, Jang Hwa-young locked herself in her room, sat cross-legged on the futon, and meditated without stopping. She refused to eat. She even warned anyone who knocked that they must not disturb her.
Only after losing herself in meditation for a long while, digging deep into the true meaning of martial arts, did the boiling inside her finally subside.
Compared to the universe, we are nothing but a single speck of dust. What meaning do all desires—lust, greed, everything—hold?
Having steadied her mind, she took a short break from reading before sleep. Then she sensed someone quietly approaching her room. Jang Hwa-young frowned. Surely no one had been allowed to disturb her… yet an unpleasant aura rose.
However, the moment she heard the voice, the feeling vanished like a lie. Her mind went blank.
“Senior-nim.”
Jang Hwa-young felt a sudden jolt of fear. All the countless insights she had just reached during meditation vanished into thin air. What remained was nothing but desire.
Triggered by that single call.
“Senior-nim, are you sleeping?”
Of course Kang-jun knew she was not asleep—light leaked from beneath the door.
Yet she did not answer. No, that was not right. The proper answer would have been that she could not answer. If she opened her mouth, it felt like something truly terrible would happen.
“Senior-nim.”
She felt his will to stay here until she answered in the timbre of his voice. Jang Hwa-young closed her eyes and took several deep breaths. Then, with as calm a tone as she could manage, she replied.
“What on earth are you doing at midnight?”
“I was worried because I thought your bed might be uncomfortable.”
“I’m fine.”
“Your complexion has been terrible all day.”
It was because of him, you bastard. If you hadn’t been staring at me that way…
“No, I’m fine. Don’t worry. Go back and sleep.”
Yet he stayed silent. Jang Hwa-young’s fear grew.
“Go back and sleep. You need to manage your stamina for tomorrow’s training.”
“Senior-nim.”
“Eh? Hurry!”
Jang Hwa-young spoke firmly. She only wanted him to leave gracefully.
“Senior-nim.”
No, please stop calling me that…
She bit her lower lip hard. She refused to answer.
“Then I’ll take my leave. In case….”
He never finished the sentence. Jang Hwa-young pricked up her ears, waiting.
“Sweet dreams, Senior-nim.”
In the end he swallowed the rest and turned to go. Jang Hwa-young squeezed her clasped hands until her knuckles cracked. Creak, creak. She heard his footsteps receding. She suddenly felt restless.
…He left. He really left. …No. Good. It’s fine.
She comforted herself with a forced smile. Then she quickly turned off the light and lay down. …Yet sleep refused to come. It was maddening.
Her chest burned. The heat spread from there all over her body. The fever was even stronger than usual.
Damn thing! Pull yourself together! A mere twenty-two-year-old, and I’m feeling lust? Aren’t you ashamed? What kind of nonsense is this? I’ve been doing mental training every day! You stupid thing! Aren’t you embarrassed before the heavens? Aren’t you ashamed to look up at the sky?!
Jang Hwa-young squeezed her eyes shut and yanked the summer blanket over her head. Hot breath trapped inside made everything worse.
I can’t endure this, so how am I supposed to face the edge of the sword!
- Senior-nim
That’s nonsense. It’s nonsense. I lack enough training. My training is still not enough.
- Because Senior-nim is beautiful.
This is childish impulse. He probably didn’t mean it seriously. I must not be swayed by it. I cannot. This too… will pass…
Ahh. In the end, Jang Hwa-young threw the blanket aside and sat up. Her forehead was covered in sweat, and strands of hair clung to it. The heat from her breaths scorched her throat.
She could not hold back any longer and rose from the bed. She felt like she was going crazy, like her limbs were shaking. She walked back and forth through the dark room like a madwoman, over and over.
In the end she gritted her teeth and slapped her own cheek hard with her palm. Heat flared where she had been struck.
Then she sat back on the futon and started meditating again. …But she could not last long before rising once more.
What exactly did he intend to say? …No way. No way.
The half-swallowed sentence kept turning into fantasy. A black shadow began to slowly, slowly take shape inside her mind.
It’s nothing more than desire relief. For living beings, it’s only the natural physiological urge.
No. It is not that. If that were all, why would a legendary sage cut off his own penis while staring at a street beauty in legend?!
Still, one cannot dismiss natural desire as something negative. Trying to resist it against the natural order is a violation of the way of heaven.
Thinking that way, she shook her head slightly.
I can’t. What am I even thinking right now?! I’ve truly gone mad! No matter how deep it goes, there is a line one must not cross!
…Yet they had already crossed that line long ago! It was an irrefutable fact. He knew. She knew. The earth knew. The heavens knew.
In the end, Jang Hwa-young stood before her door. She placed her fingertips on the hollow of the knob. With just a little push, the door would open. But this was a door that must never be opened. How ironic that such a dangerous door could be opened with a single finger.
It would have been better if she had been locked inside a cage. Then no matter what fantasies she had, nothing would change.
She remained stiff, wandering lost in her own torment.
Like a statue.
When she finally came back to her senses, she was walking stealthily down the hallway like a thief. Since she had already decided to do it, she tried desperately to justify the action.
It’s only asking. What did he mean to say? And to settle it well. If… if it were truly that… then I… I have a duty to guide him in the right direction.
Holding her breath as much as she could, she arrived at Kang-jun’s room. There was no presence inside. She could tell without asking. At the same time, her heart sank.
Could she have gone to Hye-yeon’s room?
Of course. Kang-jun had definitely gone to Hye-yeon’s room. She was certain. To cool the body that had burned so hot inside her.
Only now did Jang Hwa-young truly understand the suffering he had endured. This unquenchable surge of desire was truly unbearable. It was like having tasted only bland food for decades, then suddenly experiencing something stimulating. Of course the taste would keep returning.
If she had never known from the beginning, she could have gone on living blandly forever. But now that she knew, it was impossible. The flavor he had shown her was too intoxicating. She had detonated fireworks of pleasure in a body that barely knew stimulation, leaving traces that could never be erased.
Yes. This was right. Hye-yeon and Kang-jun were meant to be husband and wife. It was natural. She was the only one who had gone mad, panicking…
Everything was heading in the ideal direction. As long as her own car did not get in the way, the road would not be blocked. All cars were crawling forward with a sense of compliance.
…Her car swerved wildly.
· · ·
Kang-jun thrust roughly into Jang Hye-yeon’s hole. She gritted her teeth, trying to endure the cry. Whenever a brief moment of relief came, she still shot him a glare.
Of course she did not know. He deliberately loosened her just a little to enjoy that look…
“Ugh—! Uh—! Ugh—! Ah—! Ugh—!”
Jang Hye-yeon let out a short, choked cry as she gasped for air. In truth, trying to hold back cries while being fucked was nearly impossible unless one had no sense of touch at all.
Kang-jun actually knew this field better than the edge of a sword. There was an overwhelming gap between a man who had fucked for decades and someone who had just started walking. You could not endure it with only a little mental strength, like a surfer who would eventually be swallowed by the waves.
He rocked her even more vigorously. When her body shook, he watched her breasts bouncing up and down, then grabbed them with his hand and pinched her nipples hard, twisting them like a screw.
“Aaaaah—! Uh—! Ugh—!”
After several twists of her body, he decided it was hopeless and reached for her arm to push her away. Of course, there was no choice.
“C-c-! Chut—! U-! U-! W-! Eh!”
The woman who was nothing but a sacrifice for his Senior-nim was making a useless struggle, and he found it amusing. He pulled his hand from her chest and lifted her legs, draping them over his shoulders, then pressed his arm firmly against her side to keep her from moving.
Then, adding his full weight, he slammed down hard and brutally.
—!
Tens, twenties, thirties times in a row. When she finally could not endure it, Jang Hye-yeon cried out loudly.
“Ah—! Ah—! Ah—! Ah—! No! Stop! No! Ah—!”
The two contact surfaces clung and separated dozens of times. Jang Hye-yeon thrashed desperately, trying to push him away with her arms. Her head was thrown back. Her body arched upward. Her vision flashed white.
Kang-jun kept pounding her mercilessly, then filled her deep inside with thick white liquid. Haaah! Her stretched neck veins stood out. He buried his head between her breasts and bit down hard.
Jang Hye-yeon shattered like a broken doll, enduring her climax. Mouth open, she released sweet, sweet breaths. Kang-jun stayed still for a moment, then pulled out. He inserted two fingers into her hole and kept thrusting. The machine went up and down.
…Soon, the presence from the next room disappeared.
Kang-jun laughed thickly. Even if he hid his presence as secretly as possible, his senses were not that weak. In the 3rd Dungeon where stealth skills were almost nonexistent, how well could one hide?
Yes. He had heard everything. …He was already rock-hard earlier.
Since she had not bitten the bait this time, maybe there really was no chance. But he saw she was clearly dying to swallow it. He had felt something a little off since earlier, but because it was ambiguous, he could not rush in. The other party was not some clumsy woman—Jang Hwa-young.
He withdrew his fingers from her hole and rubbed them roughly against her pubic hair. Thick white fluid clung to the hairs.