There Is No End Here — 11
Of course, I didn't lie.
Did a human call me an Outer God? The Hyungkesuni in front of me did. Did I make a contract? I said that when he died, I would take everything then. Am I the person who contracted first?
I'm not a person, so it's void!
That last one is a little dangerous, I'll admit. In any case, I don't think of myself as a god — but I don't think of myself as a person, either.
If I were a god, I would have had far more tremendous power. Say let there be light, and there would be light; I could do everything I imagined, and enjoy all of it. At the very least, power strong enough to cast someone down beneath a surface like that. But I am nothing of the sort. At best, I'm a foolish monster who can't even emerge into the world without a contract.
What kind of god suffers from the cold to begin with? I can't obtain even a single bit of warmth. Even so, if I must, I play at being a god. They call it a capitalist's smile, don't they? If it gets me warmth, I could lick the ground like a dog.
This time I have to protect Hyungkesuni, so I'm taking the risk whether I like it or not. Otherwise, why would I ever claim to be something like a god? I'd much rather drift along quietly, the way some incompetent person would. Prey is easiest to hunt when it mistakes itself for the hunter.
Most of the blessed gathered in this place are looking at me. Only a very few watch the soldiers, or look at Hyungkesuni, sitting on the floor with an utterly bleak expression.
"I heard, long ago, that Grandfather's special power was something he received from some god. Are you the god who gave Grandfather that power?"
A middle-aged man puts the question to me.
Huh? Didn't he know me as an apostle? Back when Tisha received the blessing, I was an apostle of the god of the Future Hope Church. And yet — a god?
I skim Tisha's memories for a moment. Ah. I see. Later on, everyone who received my blessing called me an Outer God, so he came to believe I had been a god.
"I gave the blessing."
I ought to say that I am a god, but the words catch in my throat and won't come. It seems I dislike being a god quite a lot.
"But he converted to our Lord. Why show yourself now? You stood by and left alone a man who believed in another god."
Conversion. Now that he says it, that's true.
"So is that why I received my power back? In exchange for giving Tisha a part of myself, I made a contract with him — that once he had finished all his affairs, I would take everything he possessed then. And he died, so I only came to receive what he had."
I stretched out an arm and pointed at the sky.
"But something up there interfered. So I thought I would ask you. Was that the right thing?"
Quietly, I changed the reason I had appeared in this world. I had appeared in this place to ask what was right, and what was wrong.
The truth is different. I tried to take the warmth, got irritated, and stole the warmth of every person here. Then, by chance, an opportunity arose to come this way, so I came. There was never a plan, from beginning to end. All of it was coincidence, things that happened on impulse. Which is why I'm racking my brain so hard, right here, right now.
The middle-aged man before me is Tisha's grandson, and the current king of this country.
Thinking of how I blessed them only moments ago and then made them close their eyes, I could probably control them. But that is a last resort. One slip, and it could become the blessed against the Kingdom of Anselus. If word spreads that those who receive my blessing are dangerous, the chances of anyone calling me will fall. So I need the royals in this place kept on the Kingdom of Anselus's side.
That scene just now, when the spherical human became a person? It's fine. A god appeared right in front of them — would any of that matter? They'll assume the god did something.
Honestly, I'm praying on the inside that they will please just forget it. That's why I'm saying things that set us against each other. Couldn't we simply pretend that scene never happened?
Thinking so, I look at the king, and he is deeply perplexed. No — is this really that difficult?
Ah.
No. That isn't it.
If this goes wrong, an inquisitor comes flying in. You dared deny the Holy God?Excommunication! That's the trouble.
The harder it is for that side to speak, the better for me! The more they think, the more time I can buy. There's still the problem of somehow handing Hyungkesuni the time and the materials to write the book — but what am I supposed to do about that?
What do I do...
"Surely the affairs of a god cannot be regarded as the affairs of humans."
In short: cut the crap, and if it's a god's business, take it up with a god. It's saying this isn't a human matter, isn't it? I'll needle them on it, then.
"Does humanity believe a contract made first holds no priority? I didn't expect that. But I never canceled the contract. He believes in another god, you say? There was never a clause in the contract telling him to believe in me. I simply shared myself with him until his life came to an end, and when that life ended, I came to collect the price. And yet this one called the Holy God is interfering with me."
Heard plainly, it sounds as if I shared my power and came to take that power back, doesn't it? But as I said, I didn't cut a piece from myself and place it inside. It is merely contained there. The price, of course, is warmth. Still — won't they think that I shared my power, and then came to collect it?
Praying they will think exactly that, I check my surroundings through the eyes of the blessed.
Soldiers are creeping in. The royals are having them quietly slip the children out of this place.
Hehe. This is going according to plan.
Yes. They have become people who must be protected. The enemy here is me alone. Or me and Hyungkesuni.
Shall I make Hyungkesuni a target separate from myself? There are several of the blessed now, so if it goes well, even if I'm driven out of this world, so long as I can see the book...
No. If I'm cast outside like this, there's a chance they won't write the book at all, claiming the contract is void. What a truly troublesome person. They killed the blessed one after another, and now, in this very place, they're forcing me to wring out a brain that wasn't very good to begin with.
"So what is it you desire of us, that you have come to this place?"
The king is skilled to an unpleasant degree. He avoided every word concerning the Holy God and pared it down to this: so what do you want?
Ugh. What do I do? What am I supposed to say I want?
If I name a desire, he'll surely seize on this reason and that and strike back at me. Can I beat that man with words? Knowing every one of his memories, and being able to see from his point of view, does not mean I can stand above him. What I see through his gaze is only what he sees, hears, and feels. It isn't as though I can read his thoughts, the way some psychic might.
Shock. First I have to give them a shock. If I don't take the initiative, I'll be the one being led. What do I have?
Everyone in this place — only people with purple hair.
Purple?
Ah, right. The contract.
Yes. There was that. I had pointed at his hair with my index finger. Strictly speaking, at his purple hair.
The moment I extended my hand, the king flinched. At that, two knights drew their swords. But I simply held still with my hand outstretched, and the king soon stopped them and asked me.
"What is the meaning of that hand?"
"Hair."
His face went blank — a what? — and he seized his own hair. For some reason, the knight beside him, the one whose hair is thinning, stares at me in pure terror.
"Do you mean to say you desire hair?"
Out of nowhere? I'm not into bald heads. That's a bit much. Ah — he took it that way? That I want hair?
"No. The color of that hair. Humanity. You inherited Tisha's contract."
I'm guessing it renewed itself on its own. That's why the contract took so easily. And perhaps because they were born this way from the start, I can control them, too. Still, the sight of those two men so immensely relieved is honestly funny. Funnier still is the other knight beside them, wearing a look of total incomprehension. That one has a great deal of hair.
"And so I gave the blessing."
I've already filled every one of them with myself.
At my words, the king's expression grew very sharp.
"Does that mean we are to believe in you?"
"No. Believing in the Holy God who tried to block the contract on a whim leaves a bad taste, but if you wish to believe in that god, then believe. Humanity ought to be free in what it believes."
Huh?
Why are they staring at me with such thoroughly shocked faces?
"You tell us to believe in religion freely? You, a god?"
Is it really that strange? Ah — is it because I'm not a god, and so I don't understand a god's nature? Right. I'm not a god. Then I'll answer more lightly.
"Isn't that humanity's freedom?"
That's how it ought to be, in the first place.
Ah. For just a moment, out of the faded man's memories, a rebuke comes drifting in — that I have gone and done something. It says that for humanity in the early modern age, life itself was subordination to a god. But this is a different world. Shouldn't things be different?
Whether the words were truly that shocking, the king stayed silent for a long while. In that span, the blessed were withdrawn properly. It means they were protected safely. I left the blessing behind, at least, so I'll call that good.
Meanwhile, soldiers stand around Hyungkesuni. Weapons leveled. Breath held.
That isn't good...
Hyungkesuni has to write the book.
"O God who has descended upon this place, what do you desire of us as the price of the blessing?"
There is something I want. Specifically, that the Hyungkesuni beside him writes a book. But that doesn't feel like something to ask for here, at this moment.
The faded man draws out a proposal. I feel as though I'm about to split in two. He is entirely like another person.
So what do I say? Freedom? If it's something like that, well.
"Why ask that of me? I have already given myself over. And in the end, I need only take everything you have."
No — is that resolve flickering across the king's face? He looks as if he's burning with a sense of mission: the evil before his eyes must be killed.
Did I say it wrong? Again? Like this?
The moment I finished speaking, the resolve vanished without a trace. It truly vanished. And the king bowed his head.
Why?