Wandering Mage Luke #5
Wandering Mage Luke #5
"Luke!"
"Mongma-nim!"
Both women called my name at the same time. I flinched for a split second, but I snapped out of it fast enough. There was no need to agonize over whose call to answer first. Obviously, the person I should attend to first was my lover, Rebecca.
I quickly spoke up, facing Rebecca.
"Rebecca, hear me out and don't get the wrong idea. This is—"
And I attempted to boil the entire explanation down to a three-line summary. Why? Where? How? I had every intention of nuking Rebecca's doubts with answers straight out of the 5W1H playbook.
But the moment exactly five syllables left my mouth.
"Hey!!"
Rebecca, who'd been behind me, shot forward like a bullet and snatched my wrist.
A movement just as ferocious as when she beats down monsters!
Could it be that my reckless girlfriend was planning to snap my wrist?
Flustered, I couldn't help but let out a groan.
If my wrist breaks, I can't form hand seals!
Are you trying to turn me into a magic cripple, Rebecca?!
"Ugh. Nngh. Nnngh?"
Yet halfway through, the groaning turned to questioning.
Because at some point, Rebecca's hand had begun kneading my wrist.
This wasn't violence—it was a massage!
The stiffened muscles of my wrist, worn out from holding hand seals for so long, loosened up smoothly!
"Heuuuung."
Felt fucking amazing.
But massage aside, Rebecca was still glaring at me with piercing eyes. With her tongue slightly poking out, staring at me as I soaked in the pleasure, she demanded, her expression furious.
"Luke! What the hell are you doing here with that blonde bitch? Why is that dumb-looking blonde bitch telling you to come with her?!"
"The reason is that tool-bitch asked me for a favor—!"
"What kind of favor?!"
Rebecca screamed loud enough to shatter the eardrums of anyone nearby.
No, you demand an explanation out of me and then start shouting?!
My head went momentarily blank, and right then Rebecca shoved a thick paper bag right into my nose.
It was the same paper bag she'd been holding in one hand since she appeared.
Don't tell me she's planning to suffocate me with a paper bag?
Is she so pissed she wants to asphyxiate me to death?!
But the instant my nose dipped into the bag, I caught a scent so sweet my brain nearly melted. Far from suffocating, I actually felt better.
"Str... strawberry pie?"
"So while I was out buying snacks, you were chasing after that blonde bitch's ass? You piece of shit."
Rebecca pulled the paper bag away from my nose.
Only then did I realize why Rebecca had shown up on the street. She had just bought strawberry pie from a street vendor and was on her way to my place. No wonder she was heading toward the inn where I live.
The moment I learned that, my heart felt oddly warm.
I was able to open my mouth with a much calmer voice.
"That's not it. Apparently, the church has a place that needs my water magic."
"What do they need water magic for?"
"Today, the church is holding a foot-washing ceremony. They said they need warm water to wash the congregation's feet. As it happens, I just learned a spell yesterday that heats water. So I got hired by that nun for money. It's absolutely not a weird relationship."
I took out the copper coins I'd received from Kate and showed them directly to Rebecca. The moment I produced the money, Rebecca's misunderstanding finally seemed to clear up.
Did she seriously suspect I was cheating on her with that blonde tool-bitch?
Reading the room, it looked that way.
Because the second the answer registered, an earthquake erupted inside Rebecca's pupils.
"Oh... so that's what it was. I misunderstood."
Rebecca let go of my hand and stepped aside.
If apologies were enough, we wouldn't need a city guard—but right now it was a bit awkward to hold Rebecca's harshness against her. I mean, I got a wrist massage and a whiff of strawberry pie, so my HP actually recovered.
I let out a sigh and opened my mouth.
"Don't do this anymore. I'll seriously get angry."
"Okay."
That was the moment Rebecca's misunderstanding cleared up.
However, it didn't seem like everything was over yet.
Because Kate, who'd been walking at a distance, had somehow drawn close to me. But instead of addressing me, Kate turned to Rebecca, her face full of grievances.
"Excuse me, Rebecca?"
"Yes?"
"Don't you think you owe me an apology?"
"No such thing—."
"Don't bullshit me. I heard everything you were spouting off just now loud and clear. Why do you feel free to call me a bitch this, bitch that? And what was that? You called me a dumb blonde bitch? That's the thing I hate hearing most in the entire world!!"
"Oh, that."
Only now did Rebecca seem to realize her verbal slip, her expression jolting with shock.
As expected of a professional trash-talker, had she flung insults unconsciously?
I assumed Rebecca would give Kate a decent apology and move on. Harsh-mouthed as she was, Rebecca surprisingly knew how to stay within bounds.
But contrary to my expectation, Rebecca didn't back down in front of Kate.
Instead, she stepped forward and faced Kate head-on.
"...S-so what?"
"Excuse me?"
"If you don't like it, you can just call me a red-haired bitch right back, Sister!!"
"What on earth?!"
What kind of bizarre answer was that?
I stared at Rebecca with a dumbfounded expression.
I wasn't entirely sure, but Rebecca clearly had no intention of meekly apologizing to Kate.
Was this that peculiar power struggle between women?
As the two women closed the distance, their ample tits pressed together, and it turned me the fuck on.
"On top of that, Luke calls you a tool-bitch too! Why shouldn't I call you a blonde bitch?!"
"Gah!!"
"Ah, no matter how I think about it, blonde bitch is less insulting than tool-bitch!"
Rebecca kept piling on the follow-up blows!
Confronted by a surprisingly logical point, Kate looked flustered.
But when it came to verbal sparring, did Kate also have a knack?
Even though she was flustered, she never stopped snapping back.
"Tool-bitch or blonde bitch, they're both horrible insults!! You aren't allowed to call me by those names—! I'd like to correct your nasty way of speaking, Rebecca, but I'll let it slide for now. Because there's something I've wanted to take up with you for a long time—."
"Take up what? Give me a break."
At that moment, Kate pointed her finger at me and opened her mouth with crisp, enunciated speech.
"Please stop clinging to Mongma-nim all the time—!!"
"Huh?!"
"I said stop pointlessly meddling with Mongma-nim!! I saw exactly how you were throwing a fit just now! What reason do you even have for getting angry? Is Mongma-nim not allowed to leave the house without your permission? Is Mongma-nim some kind of doll you carry around, Rebecca?!"
"Eek."
The moment I was brought into it, Rebecca seemed unable to think of a comeback.
She might have braced herself for personal insults, but she apparently never expected Kate to use me as a verbal cudgel.
I was bewildered myself listening to Kate's words.
'Why is she suddenly worrying about me?'
That selfish blonde bitch isn't the type to care about others?
The moment I raised my head and looked ahead, I caught a wicked smile hanging at the corner of Kate's lips. As I thought—this wasn't brought up out of goodwill; it was clearly meant to obliterate Rebecca.
Daring to drag a third party into a sacred Makgora?
She's a dirty cheat of a bitch.
"It bothers me even during quests!! The way Rebecca looks at me whenever I'm near Mongma-nim! That glare you give me if I so much as speak to him—! Do you have any idea how unfair that is to Mongma-nim?! At this rate, you'll make sure he can never exchange a word with any other woman for life!"
"Nnngh."
Rebecca must have been hit right where it hurt, because she took a step back. It was true that during quests, Rebecca had often cast displeased glances at Kate. Especially when Kate spoke to me in a friendly way, those glares had gotten sharper.
"Hmph! If you've got a mouth, try saying something!"
"Kugh."
Before we knew it, Kate had Rebecca completely backed into a corner.
Cornered, Rebecca simply could not counter Kate.
That Rebecca, so brimming with pride, was losing a battle of words!
If Kate landed just a few more hits, she might actually extract an apology?
But unfortunately, Kate made a fatal mistake at the very last moment.
"So I'm telling you to stop clinging onto him uselessly! Are you even Mongma-nim's lover or something? You're not! You're both such dense virgins you can't even properly confess—you've probably never even kissed!! Ahahahahahahahahahahaha—!!"
Kate burst into roaring laughter, pointing her finger at Rebecca.
A laugh straight out of a villainess's playbook rang in my ears.
The moment I checked Rebecca's face with an uneasy expression, I realized it.
That blonde nun had stepped on a landmine.
"B-but we are dating, though...?"
"...Excuse me?"
"I said Luke and I are, in fact, dating...."
Since Rebecca was glancing sideways at me, I discreetly moved closer and wrapped my arm around her shoulder.
Rebecca also hesitated, then reached out and put her arm around my shoulder in return.
The moment our bodies pressed together, I, as if waiting for this, passed the death sentence on Kate.
"As it happens, we've been dating for a while now."
"...R-really? Are you serious?"
"We confessed to each other, and we even kissed. So there's nothing weird about us sticking together now. I'm actually glad to have Rebecca by my side, you know?"
"S-since when?!"
"After we came back from the subjugation quest."
In truth, it was after we'd finished doing things far beyond kissing.
But there was no need to go that far.
"Ah, aaaaaaaah."
Already, Kate was shrieking as she stared between me and Rebecca. With both palms pressed to her cheeks, her whole body went limp like Munch's The Scream.
"Aaaaaaaaaaaah!!"
"You fucking couple bastards!!"
Looking as if her soul had been sucked out, Kate collapsed onto the ground with a thud.
Without a care for dirtying her nun's habit, Kate started fiercely pummeling the dirt with her clenched fists.
Thud, thud, thud, thud!
Every punch packed with all the grudges against every couple in the world!
After pounding the ground with her fists for a long while, Kate opened her mouth with a hollow expression.
"So that's how it is. If you're dating, I suppose there's no helping it."
Then, infusing it with pure hatred, she tagged on a few more words.
"You win. You disgusting couple bastards. Someday Lord Baldur will pass judgment on you. The day will come when a true paradise for singles arrives upon this land—Hallelujah."
*
How much time had passed since then?
Kate, who had been sitting on the roadside, staggered to her feet.
Her movements were exactly like a zombie rising from the grave.
Seeing an aura radiate from her body, she was probably using Divine Power.
Was she stitching her shattered mentality back together with a healing spell?
Truly, Divine Power is an amazing force.
"Just step away from each other both of you, please."
"Ah!"
"Y-yes!"
Having been arm-in-arm that whole time, Rebecca and I hurriedly separated and put distance between us. All the while, we'd essentially been dealing DoT damage to Kate.
Kate's reaction had been so utterly wretched that we'd totally forgotten to break the pose.
That blonde nun's reactions were just too entertaining to watch.
When Kate spoke again, her face was unexpectedly serene.
As if Sage Time had descended upon her.
"I had no idea you two would suddenly become a couple like this. Still, I did predict it to some degree. I always knew that in time, the two of you would wind up in 'that kind of relationship.'"
I scratched my cheek and said to Kate.
"Still, you seem like you took a pretty big shock. Are you going to be okay? Should we just part ways here? Heating the water for the foot-washing ceremony doesn't strictly require me. It's easily doable using the church's own facilities."
"Shock?! Why would I be shocked? Two healthy young men and women, sharing a perfectly decent love. As a servant of God, I ought to be blessing it."
"It looked more like you were cursing it than blessing it."
"Absolutely not! What a blasphemous thing to say! And don't you dare use me as an excuse to run away. I fully intend to employ Mongma-nim's magic to heat the water as planned. You've come all this way, so it'd be a waste to send you back. We'd just be losing time."
It was a firm answer that rendered my worries meaningless. Despite that power struggle with Rebecca, Kate still seemed intent on hiring me.
"We've wasted a lot of time chatting. Let's head to the church at once. Before my juniors on duty start floundering to light the fire."
Kate gestured with a wave of her hand that it was time to go.
"Alright. Wait a sec, Rebecca."
I was planning to say goodbye to Rebecca and then leave.
After all, I thought it would be rude to bring even Rebecca inside the church. It also seemed like an action that wouldn't do the blonde nun's mental health any favors. I couldn't go around antagonizing my employer.
But before I could turn Rebecca away, Kate seized the initiative. The words out of her mouth were completely different from what I had in mind.
"You come along too, Rebecca! That is, if you're inclined."
"Huh?"
"I'm saying you can come inside the church. Whether you help Luke from the side, or just quietly kill time. Whatever you do, I won't pay it any mind."
Come inside the church?
What could she possibly gain by letting Rebecca come in?
I couldn't quite grasp Kate's offer.
Rebecca seemed just as puzzled as I was, tilting her head.
"Why?"