Merchant Escort Quest #2
Merchant Escort Quest #2
"Holy shit. There was an incubus in the party?"
The blonde nun who had been staring right through me blurted that out, half to herself.
The moment she spotted the horns on my head, the color drained from her face. I'd tossed out a few "hello"s her way a while ago, but the blonde nun was flat-out ignoring every single one, like she couldn't hear a damn thing.
Were her ears plugged?
Or was there some kind of filter that only blocked out incubus voices?
"Excuse me."
That was when I let out a sigh and pointed a finger at the blonde nun. She jolted like I'd attacked her, then whipped a cross and a vial of Holy Water out of her robes. She started spraying the Holy Water around like a spray bottle while shouting.
"Almighty Baldur, have mercy...!"
"Excuse me?"
"Almighty Baldur, shelter me in your eternal light! Almighty Baldur, shelter me in your eternal light! Almighty Baldur, shelter me in your eternal light! Almighty Baldur, shelter me in your eternal light!"
The blonde nun chanted the prayer like she had it on a macro. The whole exorcising-a-demon attitude left me flabbergasted.
Was this bitch blatantly telling me to go fuck myself right to my face?
"Almighty Baldur!! Shelter me in your eternal light!!"
"Just give it up."
"Eeeeeek!"
The second I leaned my face in, the blonde nun freaked out and dropped the cross she was holding.
There was no atmosphere here for a normal conversation. None at all.
I'd heard that some religious types associate the goat horns on an incubus with demons, and this nun clearly fell into that camp.
Thinking it privately, sure, whatever.
But treating me like a devil right to my face is a bit much.
You heal-slut.
'Fucking heal-slut.'
I gave up on greetings entirely and backed away from the blonde nun.
I had zero intention of speaking again to a nun who despised incubi. Incubus hate was alive and well in this other world today.
"You're just going to walk away?"
"The sister isn't looking well. I think I should retreat. Ah, if only my horns were detachable."
"I apologize for dragging you here against your will."
"No. It's not your fault, Ethan."
I shook my head and fell back. I watched again from a distance, and over time, the blonde nun regained her composure.
She was nimbly collecting gifts and money that people were handing over.
I realized the smile tugging at the nun's lips was a pure business smile.
"So is that a nun or a whore?"
I clicked my tongue, watching her aggressively exploit her position as a sister. This is why I don't like heal-sluts.
And even long before meeting this blonde nun, I'd held a low opinion of clergy who worked as adventurers.
Way back when in Morris Forest, I'd run into a party like this.
'A five-man party of dime-a-dozen dealers and one nun.'
That five-man group was hunting goblins, and the nun did absolutely nothing. She just hung back alone taking a stroll, or shrieked whenever a goblin appeared. That was the sum of it.
She contributed nothing to the party.
But after the hunt was over, that nun got an equal share of the spoils along with the other adventurers. The adventurers just grinned like idiots and handed over the junk loot they'd shed blood and sweat for to the nun. I couldn't comprehend that sight at all.
- What is that nun? Some kind of totem?
- She just strolled in the back, so why does she get an equal cut?
I found out later that apparently, the adventurer industry is crawling with nuns who freeload just like that. They've got the Church backing them, and a healing ability is rare, after all.
From the moment I realized that, my image of nuns changed.
From noble clergy who hone their faith.
To heal-sluts who freeload through life.
I, Luke, have no intention of living a life kissing up to heal-sluts. Even if my body gets battered, I'll uphold the dignity of a manly dealer.
Rebecca only arrived just before the caravan was about to depart.
When I asked why she was late, she said she'd gotten pretty lost trying to find the supply wagon with the markings. I didn't particularly chew her out over the lateness. She was drenched in sweat, having clearly run for a while.
"Rebecca, you know what? Ethan's one of the adventurers in this escort quest."
"Ah, that little kid we met last time?"
"Not a kid, a halfling."
"A kid's a kid, whatever. Still, that little kid, all smooth talk but a bit of a flake underneath. Monster behavior specialist, my ass...."
"Did you call for me?"
Just then, Ethan abruptly popped his head out from between the wagons.
Ethan was staring blankly at Rebecca, who'd been talking behind his back.
Rebecca broke out in a cold sweat with the look of someone who'd been caught red-handed.
She's a flake herself. Who's she calling names, this sloppy newbie chick.
"Y-you heard that?"
"I heard it all. I apologize for not inspiring trust during our last quest. The kelpie from my hometown was a slightly different species from that one, you see. Should a monster appear this time as well, I will personally demonstrate what communion truly means."
"Wow—! Communion is so, so awesome!"
Rebecca winked and shot a thumbs-up.
Ethan's a good guy so he let it slide, but if it had been any other halfling, this was grounds to demand a makgora and then some. Halflings hate being called little kids.
Anyway, with Rebecca here, the entire crew for the caravan departure was assembled.
Following the pot-bellied middle-aged merchant's instructions, we set off toward the trade city.
There were two supply wagons we had to escort.
Rebecca and I stuck to the wagon moving at the front.
The march had begun in earnest.
"Should bandits or monsters attack, the adventurers are to commit themselves fully to combat. If you're injured, you'll be loaded onto a wagon until we return to Yoen-su. Those who distinguish themselves in battle will receive an appropriate bonus."
The middle-aged merchant riding in the driver's seat pitched his voice loudly.
Rebecca's mouth hung open as she spoke to me.
"He says we'll get more money if we fight hard. If we do well, couldn't we earn more than the five silver on this request?"
"It's bullshit, so don't buy it. You'll wear your body out faster than you'll see any bonus. If monsters show up, just read the room and focus on keeping them in check."
"But we have to make money."
"You're the only one who loses if you get hurt, dumbass. Guarding your own body is more important than scraping up a few extra coins. The honey tip for escort quests like this is to be exactly in the middle. Don't stand out too much, and don't lag behind too much. It's an industry proverb."
Rebecca soon nodded as if she understood.
"But what's a 'honey tip'?"
"It means a tip as sweet as honey."
"Heh. That's a weird phrase."
Rebecca covered her mouth with the back of her hand and laughed.
It was tedious marching, but I managed to pass the time by shooting the breeze with Rebecca.
Ethan was walking alongside us, but he didn't try to join my and Rebecca's conversation. He just walked silently, same as when we'd done the herb collection quest last time.
The highway heading to the trade city was well maintained.
Which meant at least the wagon wheels weren't sinking into holes, and the terrain wasn't rough to walk on.
I'd basically been hired by this caravan as the token mage, but there wasn't really any need to use magic. It felt like a waste to let my mana idle, so partway through I started practicing producing droplets of water.
That was around the time we'd run out of conversation topics and Rebecca had clammed up.
"Water."
A droplet of water, even larger than before, popped into existence in midair.
The size had grown ever since that mana charging session with Rebecca last time. It was about the size of a soccer ball now, which looked like it could easily fill a water bottle and then some.
I kept pulling out droplets while walking.
Water Magic had relatively simple hand seals, so it was perfect for using while zoning out.
"Oh, a water droplet just came out of thin air."
"It's magic. Magic."
The various adventurers walking nearby cast glances my way. The caravan's private soldiers under command were also stealing glances in this direction.
Feeling a bit smug for no reason, I tossed out a line.
"Huh. The stares, they trouble me."
I quipped that and kept walking while producing more droplets. After I floated several thick droplets into the air, I muttered like some old veteran.
"That's about my limit. Heh heh heh heh."
Next to me, Rebecca spoke up, her face flushed.
For reference, she wasn't smitten — it was just second-hand embarrassment flushing her face.
"Shut your mouth, this is cringe as hell."
"Heh."
You bitch.
Killing a guy's vibe with one sentence.
Deflated, I just quietly made water droplets off in the corner.
*
Around evening, Ethan sought me out for some reason. At some point, Ethan had dropped back and disappeared from sight, and from what he said, he'd apparently been poking around everywhere collecting information. Information about this caravan.
"I've discovered something interesting."
"What is it? All of a sudden."
"This caravan, it seems, is in possession of an artifact. Quite a valuable item."
An artifact means an object imbued with the power of magic. Enchanting items is no simple feat, so artifacts are mostly traded at high prices. Even the cheapest artifact starts at a minimum of silver coins.
But what the hell does that have to do with me, you squirt.
It's not mine, so no reason to be interested.
"And? That's got nothing to do with adventurers like us."
"It does have something to do with you. The more perceptive adventurers will have already figured it out. To carry out this escort quest comfortably, one must borrow the artifact's power."
"Huh? It's got an owner, how would we borrow and use it? That's a crime."
Ethan opened his mouth as if exasperated.
"What this caravan possesses is an artifact called Eternal Snow. It's magic-infused ice collected from the peak of some high mountain. Left alone, it freezes the surrounding air. As long as sunlight doesn't touch the Eternal Snow, it seems to maintain a low temperature continuously."
"Impressive."
"This caravan seems to be storing food supplies and such in the supply wagon. With the weather hot and food prone to spoiling, they use the Eternal Snow to preserve freshness. From what I've heard, that wagon over there likely contains the Eternal Snow."
Ethan pointed a finger at the wagon following behind us.
Unlike the one in front, it was a relatively modest-sized supply wagon.
Suddenly, as I looked at that wagon, I felt a subtle sense of incongruity.
There were a whole lot of adventurers loitering around it.
"What is everyone doing back there?"
"Cooling off. They're dispersing body heat in the cold draft flowing from the cargo hold."
"Ah—."
Only then did I realize what was going on with that wagon. The season was still early summer, but the heat was already going strong in the region around Yoen-su. On top of that, marching all day inevitably makes you sweat.
Sweat.
That nasty liquid that makes you feel all gross.
Nothing's more of a pain in the ass than when sweat droplets dripping from your forehead block your view. My clothes were soaked damp from walking all day. If I took a whiff of my armpits right now, poison gas would definitely waft out.
"Sly little bastards."
I looked toward the supply wagon at the back with a sour expression. The adventurers glued around it weren't sweating much. Was the cold draft spilling from the wagon cooling them down? The adventurers wore refreshed expressions as they walked facing forward.
"The merchant side isn't really restricting it."
"They know that forcing the adventurers only leads to incidents. They seem to be just preventing anyone from getting too handsy. Now do you understand what I meant?"
"Yeah."
"The marching order is already set today, so it seems too late to change positions. But when we set out tomorrow, we absolutely must drag our feet and aim for the escort position at the rear wagon."
I glanced around and gulped.
More people than I'd thought had realized guarding the rear wagon was the honey spot. There were fourteen adventurers total on the caravan escort, and over half of them had their eyes on that rear wagon.
Looking at their expressions, they all seemed to be thinking the same thing.
The thought that they absolutely had to take the rear wagon escort starting tomorrow.
I could feel their determination to suck the honey out of this quest.
"Thanks, Ethan. You've given us good intel."
"This is the prestige of a veteran Bronze adventurer. Let's move together tomorrow morning. The objective is to secure the rear wagon escort."
That was when it happened.
Out of nowhere, Rebecca's voice rang out beside us.
"H-hey, there. Think you could include me too—?"
Rebecca spoke up hesitantly toward Ethan and me.
I'd blanked for a second, but Rebecca had been walking near me the whole time. She'd probably heard every single word Ethan said without missing a single syllable.
At Rebecca's request, Ethan and I smirked and let her stew for a moment.
Today, both of us had something to pay her back for.
"Didn't you say I was cringe?"
"And I believe she called me a flake with a smooth tongue."
Karma.
Those who commit evil deeds will one day face punishment.
"You petty jerks!"
"What, petty?"
"Ah, no! I was totally wrong, so please let me in on the plan. It's so hot. Hwaang!"