Drunken Truths #4
Drunken Truths #4
After firing off her confession in rapid bursts like that, Kate fell silent, eyes fixed on me.
A first-love confession. And in a place like this.
No point dragging out those clumsy drinking games anymore. She'd laid everything bare, so I figured I might as well let her hear my side too.
An anxious look on her face, she asked,
"Is it wrong for a nun to fall for an incubus?"
"Nothing wrong with it. What's race got to do with who you like?"
"Then what about you, Mongma-nim? Do you like me?"
She asked without the slightest hesitation, hurling a straight pitch right at my chest like she had nothing left to lose. I had my thoughts in order, but I couldn't give her an answer here and now. The heat from the drinks was still burning in my skull, everything hazy. I needed to cool off first.
"Can we walk and talk? I don't think I can get my head straight in here, no matter how long I sit."
"Okay."
Kate nodded quietly. She probably didn't want to hear my answer to her confession in a tavern that was anything but quiet either. I got up at once and settled the tab. Moments later, the two of us stepped outside.
"......"
For a while we walked the city streets in silence. Kate followed a pace behind. How long did we go? My head was finally starting to cool in the breeze, and around then, I opened my mouth.
"I'm really happy you confessed to me. That's the first thing I wanted to say."
What had welled up inside my chest after hearing Kate's confession—without question, joy. Anyone would be thrilled to get a confession from a woman that beautiful. Knowing someone loved you couldn't possibly be anything but good.
And to be her first love, on top of that.
I knew Kate had never been involved with a man, but I hadn't expected I'd be the first one she fell for. Doesn't everyone have at least one childhood crush they can point to? Hell, even I had memories of nursing a one-sided thing for Wendy back when I was a rookie adventurer.
"If I weren't already seeing Rebecca, I would've accepted your confession without a second thought. You're that charming. You have no idea how many times I got thrown into turmoil when you tempted me during quests."
"......"
"But I'm already with someone."
On the road, bright moonlight spilling across the ground, I stopped walking. I turned around and faced Kate. She, who'd been following, stopped in her tracks as well.
"You're talking about Lady Rebecca."
After I paused for a beat, Kate hastily spoke up.
"I've thought about Lady Rebecca too. I did nothing but think about it on that hill in Kunbilia Village. About whether there might be a way to be with you, Mongma-nim, without hurting her."
"What kind of way?"
She'd thought about it?
So did that mean her going out to look at the moon at night in Kunbilia Village was to sort through her thoughts about me and Rebecca? I suddenly found myself curious about Kate's idea.
Being with me without hurting Rebecca.
Wasn't that the most ideal outcome? Truth was, I'd been very conscious of Kate myself. If Rebecca hadn't accepted my confession, I would have accepted Kate's by now.
Kate hesitantly spoke.
Something in her voice she couldn't quite get out.
"If the two of us end up moving as a fixed party from now on... I'll be able to stay close to you, Mongma-nim. Eventually, we'd get chances where it's just the two of us."
"That'd happen."
"If it does, could you treat me like a lover when we're alone? Even just once a week would be enough. I'll do my best to endure the rest. It's definitely going to be a relationship we can't show anyone else openly."
Even as she spoke, Kate looked utterly deflated, like she had no faith in the idea herself.
Carving out time alone by avoiding Rebecca.
Was this the method she'd come up with after all that agonizing?
I wasn't especially disappointed.
Considering my relationship with Rebecca, reaching that kind of conclusion wasn't unreasonable. If she couldn't give up on love, then choosing secret trysts instead—that was probably what she meant.
I gave Kate a firm, clear answer.
"We can't do that, Kate."
"Huh?"
"Because I don't want to deceive Rebecca. Incubus or not, I draw a pretty firm line about this stuff. I can't lie to someone who only loves me. And I don't have the skill to tell smooth lies anyway."
"......"
"I'm sorry it turned out like this."
Kate let out a deep sigh at my words. In an instant, deep gloom settled over her expression. This was practically no different from me flat-out rejecting her. Even her desperate suggestion of secret meetings had been shot down.
What it must feel like to suffer your first heartbreak right in front of your first love.
I couldn't even imagine.
At least I'd never been turned down after confessing directly to my first love.
"I figured you'd refuse for sure, but... hic."
Before I knew it, tears had gathered in Kate's eyes. Thick droplets traced down her cheeks.
She pressed a hand over her chest and spoke.
Like she was feeling the echo of her heartbeat.
"My heart hurts. It really hurts. If I'd known it'd turn out like this, I should've met you sooner, Mongma-nim. Then the person standing next to you right now would've been me..."
She spoke to me as the tears fell.
Regret leaked through her voice.
"I understand. Your mind's firmly made up, after all. I'll be content just staying by your side. Even if we can't be lovers."
A silence settled between us.
It took a very long time before I opened my mouth again. Rebecca came to mind. The things she'd said before we departed for the quest kept swirling around in my head.
After agonizing over it, I spoke.
"Then how about this? If there was a way to be together without meeting in secret?"
"What?"
In that instant, Kate looked at me with utter bewilderment.
I was pretty bewildered myself.
I never thought such a novel idea would come out of my own mouth.
"We get formal permission from Rebecca to date. I'd just be seeing two women at the same time, right? What about you?"
"I-I haven't not thought about it, but—!"
Her face went red as she answered.
I couldn't help but be surprised by her words.
She'd thought about it? That meant she'd even been considering the three of us dating together?
"Lady Rebecca seems wary of me, though. There's no way she'd give permission."
"I'm asking about you, not her."
"Me?"
She hesitated a moment, then answered.
"For me... I don't think it would be so bad if it worked out that way. Our fixed party's going to move as a trio anyway. And I'd feel a little spiteful if Lady Rebecca kept you all to herself, so if she'd only allow it..."
What she meant was, Kate would accept me seeing two women. I guess this is what people mean by residents of the otherworld. Their notions of romance seem pretty different from modern folks.
I'd been sure she'd refuse.
If Kate had the will, it was worth giving it a shot.
Getting direct permission to date from Rebecca, that is. If I failed, I'd get smacked down hard—but so what. I couldn't just let things end on a bitter parting without even trying.
A memory from the past surfaced.
Back when I was walking with Rebecca near the lake by the city hall.
She'd answered a question of mine like this:
━Doesn't it feel a little off-putting, a single man having a bunch of women around him?
━Off-putting? If a man's capable, isn't it fine? I think that's actually better. Better than insisting on only one woman and making everyone around him miserable.
Hadn't she said a capable man could form a harem? Rebecca seemed to regard me, her party member, as competent. And if so, wouldn't the conditions already be met?
'It's up to Rebecca whether she gives permission, though.'
Of course, there was no guarantee I'd get that permission.
You never really know what's in someone's heart.
When I actually asked, an absolute "no" could very well be the answer.
Even so, I wanted to face it head-on.
Without hiding anything from Rebecca.
"Come to the front of the inn tomorrow morning. Let's go meet Rebecca together. I'll be waiting."
"All right. But if we don't get permission... what happens to our fixed party? Won't it just fall apart? I've got this feeling we might end up with nothing at all."
"That's something we'll just have to accept."
Though she hesitated, Kate ultimately accepted my proposal. Did that mean her first love mattered more than the fixed party? We made a promise to meet again in front of the inn tomorrow.
Going to see Rebecca tonight was far too reckless, no matter how I thought about it.
Both Kate and I needed time to steady our hearts.
"I don't know if Lady Rebecca will look kindly on me."
It was when Kate was wearing that dejected expression. Feeling like we couldn't part ways like this, I gently pulled her into an embrace. I held and comforted her until she could pull herself together.
"If you're scared, you don't have to come. I'll try bringing it up with Rebecca by myself."
"No. I'll go. Definitely."
Before we parted, Kate pressed a brief kiss to my cheek.
I accepted the kiss without a word.
"I'll see you in front of the inn tomorrow."
"Yeah."
After Kate left.
I walked the night streets alone. I couldn't muster up the courage to go back to the room I was staying in. If I happened to run into Rebecca, I might spill everything before morning even came.
In the end, I spent the night at some random inn along the street.
The next morning, once the sun was up, I headed home.
*
Early morning, in front of the inn building.
I got back to the inn run by Mr. Brown after sunrise.
"Ugh."
To my surprise, Kate had arrived at the entrance before me. The familiar blonde-haired nun was standing there, lingering aimlessly in front of the building.
But arriving early was all she'd managed to do—Kate couldn't bring herself to go inside. She was just staring at the entrance with a hesitant expression.
"You're here already."
"Mongma-nim?"
Kate, spotting me, gave a puzzled look. After all, I was still carrying the leather armor she'd gifted me yesterday in my arms. It must've been obvious at a glance that I hadn't gone home.
"I just got here too. Couldn't find the courage to go home like that."
"I see. I completely understand."
"Let's go in. We can't just stand here forever."
As I entered the inn, Kate carefully followed behind me.
We climbed the stairs to the third floor.
"Is Lady Rebecca staying here?"
"She moved her room to this inn too. It's been a while now."
When we finally reached the third-floor hallway, I took a moment to draw a deep breath in front of Rebecca's door. I had a spare key, but I had no intention of just letting myself in. Instead, I knocked politely.
Knock! Knock!
The door opened a moment later, and Rebecca appeared through the gap.
"Who is— Oh!"
The instant her eyes met mine, Rebecca's face broke into a radiant smile.
And then she stepped out into the hallway and threw herself straight into my arms.
"Luke—! You're back."
"Yeah."
"Did the promotion match go well? That means you're Silver Tier now, right? I was so lonely while you were gone. Hurry up and tell me everything that happened over those two days! I've been dying of curiosity... Huh?"
Rebecca, who'd been chattering away, suddenly stopped mid-sentence.
Because she'd spotted Kate standing awkwardly beside me.
"S-Sister Kate? Why is a nun here?"
"Well, you see."
In that exact moment, a terrible agony gripped me. Should I scrap everything here and act like none of this ever happened? This was the last chance to undo things with Rebecca.
"Luke?"
"Sh-should I explain for you?"
But I hadn't come this far to back down. I shook my head at Kate, who was watching for my reaction. In the end, this moment had finally arrived. The time to put a definitive end to the state of our three-person relationship.
I spoke, facing Rebecca.
"Rebecca, I've got something to tell you."
"What is it?"
"Could you... give me permission to be with Kate?"