The Two-Handed Sword

I stared at Hana with suspicion thick in my eyes, but all she did under that gaze was smile as if she hadn't the faintest idea what I was thinking.

No matter how I looked at it, that had been on purpose...

"You're not seriously buying Selena clothes from a top-tier designer and then trying to hand me armor from some no-name blacksmith, are you? Discrimination isn't a good look. You think so too, right?"

I had more than enough circumstantial evidence and zero hard proof. Watching Selena block every attempt to visit another forge, I let out a sigh and turned to the dwarves still crouched and trembling on the floor.

"How long will the repairs take?"

Bron looked blankly back and forth between the wrecked smithy and Hana, then answered in a shaking voice.

"O-one wee—no, three days. Three days'll be plenty. Once the repairs are done, we can start crafting right aw—"

Hana flicked a glance at the tongs she'd thrown earlier and muttered under her breath, having just heard him promise to finish repairs at top speed and get straight to work on the bikini armor.

"Hmm... I'm starting to feel like making another little mistake. Maybe this time I'll aim sideways."

Oh, is that how it is?

I stared at her in disbelief as she casually slipped in a threat. Bron, the target of said threat, glanced between the two of us, swallowed hard, and opened his mouth again.

"N-now that I look at it properly, t-two weeks. No—a full month at the least. W-we're not going to be able to take orders for a while."

You've got to be kidding me.

I gawked at Bron as he studiously avoided my eyes and directed everything at Hana. She nodded with a thoroughly satisfied expression at the way he'd multiplied the repair timeline several times over, then turned to me.

"Ah. A month's too long. A week or so I could maybe live with, but we've got to head somewhere else soon, don't we? Shame. I really wanted to try on armor made by a dwarf."

I stared at her for a moment—smiling as she spouted words she didn't mean in the slightest—then let out a long sigh and started walking out of the forge.

Fine... We can just have it made next time. We've got plenty of time.

Promising myself a rain check, I headed for the carriage. Hana scurried up behind me, eyes sparkling.

"So now we're going to look at weapons, right? Right?"

Still mourning the day I'd get to see that beautiful body wrapped in bikini armor getting pushed further down the calendar, I answered in a lifeless voice as I walked.

"Haa... Yeah..."

Satisfied with that, Hana hummed her way up into the carriage.

"Hmm-hmm~ I hope they've got a two-handed sword. If not, I guess I'll just have to commission one. Heehee."

I climbed in after her as she happily daydreamed about weapons and told the coachman, who was getting ready to drive, our next destination.

"Take us to a forge that specializes in weapons, please."

The coachman tilted his head at the request.

"Wouldn't it be better to place a weapons order here as well? Even a blacksmith with a weapons specialist title is going to fall short of a dwarven smith, isn't he?"

This place is closed for a month...

I looked from the forge that had been forced into ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠an extended holiday by someone's violence and threats, over to Hana who was pointedly looking anywhere else, and sighed.

"They said they can't take orders for a while."

"Ah. Well, it is a dwarven operation—orders must be backed up. I hadn't thought of that. Hmm... Shall I take you to Willie's Weapon Workshop, then? They've been supplying arms to a count's house for years."

"If they've been supplying a count for years, they ought to be trustworthy. Let's go th—"

Wait a second. That wasn't right. She'd said she refused to wear armor made by some no-name blacksmith, hadn't she? And from the sound of it, dwarves were the best at weapons too, so that meant...

Remembering the exact line Hana had used to dodge the bikini armor, I changed course mid-sentence.

"No. I can't give Hana anything less than the best, so we'll skip the weapons for now and go somewhere else. Hmm... where to next..."

Hana, who had been pretending not to listen, whipped around and shouted in a panic.

"W-what are you talking about?! Skip the weapons?!"

I put on my most pained expression for her wide-eyed stare.

"I had no idea that dwarf back there was the best at weapons as well as armor. What can you do? Like you said, discrimination isn't a good look—so I'll get you one later. Muuuuch later."

This was absolutely not revenge for her wrecking my bikini-armor plan. Nope. Not at all.

Having her own words thrown straight back at her from the bikini-armor delay, Hana shook her head hard.

"No, no, no. Weapons are fine. Weapons are different. What you bought Selena at the top of the line was clothes, not a weapon. So stop worrying and let's just go to a forge already."

I shook my head right back.

"No. Then I'd have to buy Selena a cheap staff too, just to keep things fair. Can't have that."

The moment I dragged Selena's staff into it, Hana ran out of arguments and started chewing on her lip.

Heh heh. Should've just accepted the bikini armor quietly.

I was wearing a thoroughly pleased look at her fuming when Selena, who had been quiet until now, spoke up.

"Master... um... ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠for your safety, wouldn't it be better to buy a weapon? If Hana... unnie is empty-handed when a sudden attack comes, that might not go so well..."

Selena offered an opinion that was basically common sense, stumbling ever so slightly over the word unnie.

Bolstered by Selena taking her side, Hana crossed her arms.

"She's right. I can't protect you guys without a weapon. So let's go look at weapons already. And you never know—maybe some place that sells cheap junk will have a famous legendary blade stashed away, like in those pirate-king comics."

I'd only meant to needle my cheeky slave a little for sabotaging the bikini-armor plan and getting so excited about shopping for weapons. I had never actually intended not to buy her one—honest—so I sighed and gave in.

"Haa... If you're going to put it like that, fine. Take us to that workshop you mentioned."

"Understood. To Willie's Weapon Workshop, then."

The coachman answered, set the carriage moving, and before long we pulled up in front of a large building that looked more like a shop than a forge.

"Here we are. Swords, axes, spears, bows, arrows—the works. They handle every kind of weapon, so you should find what you're looking for. Take your time browsing."

Leaving the coachman's voice behind, we stepped down from the carriage and entered a building hung with promotional signs.

Just as the coachman had said, the interior was lined with everything from small daggers to a massive mace with a head bigger than a human skull. A clerk came forward to greet us as we stepped inside among the displays.

"Thank you for visiting Willie's Weapon Workshop. Tell me what kind of weapon you're looking for and I'll show you right to it."

I accepted the polite greeting, then glanced at Hana—who had already bolted for the sword displays before the clerk finished speaking.

"I think we'll be fine without the tour."

With that, I walked over to where she was examining the blades with shining eyes.

"Hmm... this one's a bit short... this one's way too light. Why is this one so thin? Oh. This one's not bad."

"Find anything you like?"

She shrugged without looking up from checking the swords one by one.

"A few that aren't terrible, but nothing that really says this is the one. And I don't see any two-handed swords either. Commissioning one might be the way to go after all."

"Do whatever you want."

It was the lord's money anyway.

I said it while thinking of the bundle of checks in my pocket. Hana nodded and went over to the clerk.

"I'd like to place a custom order."

The clerk handed her a sheet of paper and a pen.

"Please sketch the shape you want here. If you can note the length, weight, material, and so on as well, that would be even better."

Hana took the paper and pen and quickly drew a single sword.

A gently curved single-edged blade about a hundred and ten centimeters long. A grip of thirty-five centimeters—long enough that even two hands would have room to spare.

Huh?

"Isn't this a nodachi?"

A blade shape I'd seen plenty of times in anime and games. The kind that made you think of some guy spamming the Four Divine Beasts while yelling about the wind of the gods, or a lady pope in bizarre jeans with one entire leg exposed, swinging a sword and talking about saving the unsaved. The exact same long blade a Sword Saint used in a game that claimed to be about honor while running entirely on dirty tricks—the kind of sword that made you want to read an opening, cut through, and crack a helmet.

Hana frowned at the comment.

"I said two-handed sword. The one recorded in the Muyedobotongji—the blade ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠Qi Jiguang designed by imitating the ōdachi the Japanese pirates used. Tsk tsk. Every time people see a curved single-edge, it's all 'katana this, Japanese sword that.' It's a real problem. At this rate they'll start calling high-curve hwando Japanese swords too—and General Yi Sun-sin's longsword with Three-Foot Azure Heaven, Mountains and Rivers the Same Color; One Sweep Clears All, Blood Dyes the Mountains and Rivers engraved on it will get labeled a katana as well."

Look, not knowing is allowed—you don't have to get that worked up about it... And setting everything else aside, if it was made by imitating the other thing, aren't they basically the same sword?

I grumbled inwardly and tried to calm the fuming Hana down.

"Okay, okay. Got it. Just stop yelling and finish the order."

She gave me one more look of pure pity, then added price is no object, use the best metal available to the paper and handed it to the clerk.

"Hmm... the best metal, is it... We'll do mithril. That's the finest metal we can work with here. Please come back in a month."

A month?

My eyes went wide at the longer-than-expected production time. Hana seemed to feel the same; there was a ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠touch of irritation in her voice.

"Isn't that a bit long? These usually take around ten days, don't they?"

"That's true under normal circumstances, but we do have something of a backlog."

"We're in a bit of a hurry. Is there any way? We'll pay more."

"Our workshop's policy is to craft orders in the sequence we receive th—"

"I'll pay double. Triple if you finish it within ten days."

"...While rules are rules, we do of course offer a priority reservation service for clients in a hurry. Without fail. Even if it reduces our blacksmiths' shoulders to powder, we will have it ready within ten days."

I watched in disbelief as the clerk—who had been rock-solid against an undefined sum—crumbled before the power of capitalism. Hana looked thoroughly pleased with herself after closing the side deal, and I turned to her.

"Spending it like it's your money, huh?"

"Time is money, my friend. Hand over the checks. If you don't want him talking his way out of it, we finish the deal now."

She all but seized the checks, wrapped up the transaction, tucked the order confirmation away, and asked me,

"We're done here, right? Back to rest now?"

I stared at her—ready to head home the second she'd gotten what she wanted—and shook my head.

"No. We've still got one more stop."

An adult goods shop. A very important place.