Chapter 18
Chapter 18
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Translator: uly
Chapter: 18
Chapter Title: The First Flame
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The botched potion slid down my throat and rapidly spread through my entire body.
My whole body felt like it was ablaze.
'It's been a while. Nice to see you~'
It felt like that moment from my past, one I hadn't encountered in ten years, was greeting me.
At the same time, a sweet temptation echoed in my mind.
'You've been through this once before. This time, I'll lead you to the ends of the sky—so drink it all. Aren't all those piled-up rivers of blood and corpses, all that hatred and rage, going to waste?'
I couldn't tell if it was my own voice, the voice of the twisted 'realm' I'd built up, or the lingering remnants of the Nine Heavens Extinguishing Fire Art.
The voice of unknown origin seduced me relentlessly, shifting its tone, speech patterns, and the emotions it carried.
No way in hell.
Even if I grew strong that way again, I somehow knew deep down that there'd be nothing left in the end.
I poured every last drop of that seductive, deadly potion onto the ground.
Ras Etgard had returned from the hell he'd created himself, and the foolishness of my previous life could never be repeated.
"I didn't know" wouldn't fly twice—not for Irha, and not for me either.
'Irha. Don't worry. Just wait—I'll wake up good as new... Take care of yourself.'
I spoke to those innocent eyes watching me with worry but filled with unwavering trust.
Having someone who believed in me no matter where or when was an incredible joy.
With my vision fading to black, I lost consciousness.
But this time, unlike before, I didn't lose myself even in that darkness.
I stood once more on that day of the end—the past that had now become history.
The world was plunged into pitch-black darkness.
The stars, the sky, the night—all were suffocating.
Even the final faint stream flowing beneath the frozen world had come to a halt.
The heavens crumbled,
the earth sank,
and you...
Before my eyes, the great empress—who had always commanded everything with supreme dignity—faded away into nothingness.
My master, who had stood at the edge of the heavens, now lay crushed into the dirt, weakly calling my name amid blood-flecked coughs.
"Cough... Ra... Ras... Ras..."
What had I said to her at the end of the apocalypse?
"I'm not going anywhere. I'm right here."
Her dilated pupils searching for me tore at my heart like a knife.
I already knew what desperate words she'd left me with in her final moments.
"Ras... sor... sorry... love... love..."
With a soft thud, her beautiful lips closed lifelessly.
And so Semele Raupe—Kashimir—died.
She left behind those two words, the ones that least suited her in the entire world, unfinished.
"......"
Frustrated with this foolish woman who couldn't even finish a single sentence before leaving, I hadn't answered her at all.
Even if I'd belatedly tried to respond, her ears could no longer hear—so I'd stubbornly kept my mouth shut out of resentment.
As I rose with a heavy heart, an incomprehensible existence stood before me, just as it had then.
It took human form, yet it was an abyss so vast its beginning and end couldn't be fathomed.
"You're the last one..."
I didn't reply to that chilling, eerie voice.
No matter how strong the foe, Ras Etgard would always hurl himself into the flames.
With over half my body already burned away and little left, I threw myself completely into the pitch-black abyss.
Would this frozen night blaze desperately once more?
Fierce flames that could scorch even the vast sea lunged at the unmoving, frigid darkness.
Black ice-like shadows clung to my burning body.
Swimming through them, I confronted the times I'd lived through once again.
The grueling past of daily life-and-death battles flashed by me in an instant.
Kashimir's arena, the warfront with Azuld Kingdom, the back alleys of the Sephiros Empire...
The fiercely roaring flames diminished in size the further back in time they climbed.
The dark room where Leon mocked me, the fallen clan wiped out, the night I was branded a rapist, the forest where drugs turned me into a cripple...
And finally, that spring garden where I'd witnessed Leon and Rizli's secret meeting.
Countless turning points left thick afterimages of regret, wrapping around me like black nooses that smothered the flames.
The last flame left to me was a faint ember in the gaping hole of my exposed heart, barely clinging to life.
Having come full circle, what did I regret, fear, hesitate over, and desire?
'Are you afraid of the thorny path you'll have to tread again? Or... is it the apocalyptic end that frightens you?'
A small, fragile flame asked me, bearing a faint light and warmth.
I reached into my heart and cradled the dying ember gently.
Whoosh—
The black nooses binding me, the boundless abyss—they all burned to ash without a trace.
The darkness lifted, and now I stood in an empty void.
Though it was my first time in this clear, pristine space, I knew what—and where—it was.
My mindscape, still utterly empty and transparent, filled with nothing.
I learned for the first time that the burning hell which had tormented me was originally this vacant space.
Only the tiny flame cradled in my hand warmed and illuminated the emptiness.
Once more, the small flame's voice rang out. No—it was engraved upon my soul.
"O flame, consume the past and forge ahead."
"Burn the black night, the frozen rivers and skies, even the fateful apocalypse—and rise above them."
"Cast aside regret, fear, and hesitation. Carry only the first pure flame in your heart."
"Illuminate your true desire, and greet the brilliant dawn that awaits."
"For you still possess a red heart that burns—"
"When you walk again to your destination, no eternal night of eons shall remain."
⟨ Oath of the First Flame ⟩
Whether it was a divine oracle or simply my own prayer given voice—I didn't know.
But one thing was certain: the trajectory of this second life would be utterly different from the first.
The mindscape I would now forge would bear a completely different heat and hue from the flames of my first life.
Starting from an entirely different point, the path I walked and the destination would all change.
Figures from this lifetime whom I must protect now flashed before my eyes, unlike before.
My family, Marisa, Rozali, Isera, Irha, and Semele. Finally, Ras Etgard.
They were the ones who had met pathetic ends in the past—but in this new life, they would face different fates.
The reversed flow of time scattered like fragments, flowing forward once more.
When I reached the moment of apocalypse again, I could finally utter those last words I'd regretted leaving unsaid.
To the one I loved most in my entire first life—my final love.
"I loved you so much. Next time we meet, I'll say it first. So sleep well, my beloved master."
The Semele etched last into my eyes smiled peacefully, unlike that day.
Now, it was time to return.
An unfamiliar ceiling.
This slightly bright room felt so strange, as if I'd wandered a hundred years in a dark forest.
My body was a bit hot and heavy, but not in terrible shape.
I remembered consuming Irha's botched potion, losing consciousness, and wandering through inexpressible eons.
Anyway, back to reality—time to check my body first.
I needed to see how the potion's effects had settled.
For starters, the botched drug and my journey had undeniably altered my fundamental constitution.
But unlike my first run, there was no unbearable scorching pain or sensation of dying from heat.
Unlike the extreme yang constitution that bordered on madness before, this felt more... reasonable?
It was a little hot, but mana flowed fine, my heart beat steadily, and my other organs moved properly...?
.......??!!!
Not everything was working right, apparently.
No way, right? This has to be a lie?
.......!!!!!!
Contrary to my grand resolve, the moment I returned, I faced a major crisis.
"No sensation down below... What the hell is this...?"
Ras Etgard instantly became a man with his head hung low.
Thud!!
Someone rushed to my bedside.
"Ra... Ras!! What do you mean? No... no sensation down there?! Are you okay?!"
Irha's voice was as obnoxiously loud as ever, whether she was asleep or awake.
And... did she have to phrase it so bluntly? "Down there" and "down below" have totally different vibes...
But as a man with his head hung low, I didn't even have the strength to correct her.
"Teacher Rozali! Ras...!! Ras woke up, but he says he has no sensation down below!!!"
"...Stop... please stop..."
My feeble cry couldn't prevent Rozali from rushing in upon hearing the tragic news.
"Ras, oh my god. Thank goodness... I'm so glad you woke up."
Rozali looked a bit more disheveled than usual as she hurried to me and embraced me tightly.
Normally, I'd have let out an "Ooh...!!" in awe of her soft bosom, but right now, my mind was too distraught.
Rozali quickly checked my temperature, pulse, and examined me meticulously.
"Phew... Your fever's down, but you're still running a bit hot overall. We'll do a full diagnosis soon... But Irha, that... did I hear right...?"
"Yes! He said it the moment he woke up."
Rozali's gaze dropped to stare intently at my lower half, and I felt a profound, irreverent sorrow.
This steadfast Irha was unbearably hateful today.
Just like always, it seemed the first crisis always came from within oneself.