Life Becomes Serialized
Raven, the bandit leader of Blaine Barony, couldn't make sense of this absurd situation unfolding before his eyes.
He'd been brimming with confidence at the start. The soldiers under Blaine Barony were nothing but a ragtag mob, and the knights were all piss-drunk. This had seemed like the perfect moment to raid the territory. Raven's judgment hadn't been wrong—at least, not if the local lord was just a bit stronger than your average knight.
But the moment the battle kicked off, Raven froze in shock. How the hell could a human do that? How does a man rip another apart armor and all?
He'd heard the baron was a war hero. Stormed the Espado Kingdom palace, tore the royals and central nobles to shreds, looted half for himself and sent the rest to the imperial family. Less than a year as a baron, so there had to be mountains of treasure stashed in the territory. That's why he'd worked so hard to unite the bandits, using those rumors to make it easy. Sure, tales got exaggerated—soloing ten thousand kills or slicing through hundreds of thousands single-handed? Pure bullshit, he'd convinced everyone. He'd believed it himself. Just imperial propaganda to prop up a commoner knight like Blaine, boost enlistments by making him a noble.
But now? The rumors felt understated.
Puhaha—!
A bandit trembling right beside Raven split in half, spraying blood. Guts draped over Raven's neck, but he stayed rigid, paralyzed.
At some point, light seemed to seep into the baron's body. Then his punches started exploding dozens of men at a time. Blood! Blood! Blood! Raven thought he'd grown numb to gore from years of banditry, but no.
"Urk—bleeegh!"
Even staring death in the face, vomit surged up. The legendary Butcher appeared—the one who diced everything alive!
Shraaak!
Even the horse under him tore apart. The metallic stench of blood hung thick.
Thud. Thud.
Blood from a thousand bandits carved gullies, flowing away. Through it strode a demon.
"Hiiik! S-stay back, you damned demon spawn!"
"Hey, asshole. I'm actually grateful to you."
"Aghh, heh-heh. Yeah, Baron Blaine sold his soul to demons, a black mage."
"Write a fucking novel, why don't you? Saved me the hassle, so I'll kill you clean."
Squelch!
Raven's skull caved in.
"……."
Cheers should have erupted, but the soldiers atop the walls gaped silently at the spectacle. The knights were the same—stunned, faces pale. Well, they'd gotten used to that look by now.
Still, what the hell was that?
Your life will now be serialized.
If the view count drops to 0, you die.
He'd definitely heard it. Serialization? View count? Felt familiar, like something from a web novel.
"Ha, fuck! So my life's getting serialized to the gods' world?"
Seemed like it. Falling into a novel was insane enough—he'd spent a week adjusting, deciding to just live easy. But this bullshit?
They'd dropped him here to serialize his life for the gods. So what now? At least explain properly! Just lop off his head if popularity tanks? Headache incoming.
Screw up, and his chill, no-strings life goes poof. Might need a total rethink from square one.
Entering the territory, knights lined up—but all hiccuping.
"Hic-urgh, hic!"
"Ha... you fuckers. Bandits invade, and you're boozing it up? Wanna die?"
"Mercy, milord!"
The knights dropped to their knees, banging heads. Sanity returning, bodies shaking.
Territory folk crept out post-battle, soldiers eyeing him fearfully. Figured he'd shred them all if he said the word.
But kill all knights, who'd lead the soldiers? Honus was top soldier, but knights handled direct command.
"You drunken louts—no booze starting today."
"Yes, sir!"
"Too lazy to train you. Bash heads at the fountain."
Snap!
They knew the drill—headplants were routine. Held at attention like that, necks stiffened painfully after a while.
"Yawn."
Exertion hit; sleepy now. Time for a wash and nap.
Knights whispering in the distance.
"How long we stuck like this?"
"Urgh, three days...? Hope he doesn't forget."
He didn't head to the manor. Bandits handled—peace for a bit. Holed up in the villa, slacking... nah, can't now.
"Sigh."
Life serialized, so no more vegging out? Figures it'd be too easy. Infinite strength to smash anyone, no power lust—nobles steered clear. Even the imperial family. Go berserk to the palace, he could kill the emperor before armies swarmed. They avoided provoking him.
So he'd planned easy street. But nah?
"Ah, fuck! Nothing goes right."
Novel ramps up soon. Heroic protagonist arc kicks off—conquering northern Vikings first, triumphs galore, ends as emperor. Gods won't watch cookie-cutter cliché.
Head spinning.
Passing the temple. Novel's heroine #1 charges in.
"Maaaster looord!"
Pat-pat-pat!
Beautiful priestess in robes—Cecilia, high priestess and saintess candidate of the Vivian Church. Half-crazy type: vows of chastity, but obsessed with protagonist. He couldn't ditch her outright due to holy power. Hot, but masochistic pervert vibes...
Ah, back then, single and frustrated.
Dodges her lunge casually.
Wham!
Old hat—she dusts off, bounces up.
"How's a chaste priestess so reckless?"
"Hee-hee, if not a priestess, I'd be your wife, milord!"
"Cut the crazy talk and get lost."
"Best one yet!"
Whoosh!
Ducks her hug. Cute, adores him—but masochist. Not my type.
"Hehe! I'll get you someday!"
"What am I, Cheetos? Dream on."
Ah! That's just too much!
Goddess of Love, Venus, gazes upon you.
Venus expresses disapproval. Resolve quickly or incur a penalty.
"Huh?"
"What's wrong?"
What fresh nonsense? Reject Cecilia, and Venus bitches out? Grit teeth. Fix it or penalty? View count zero already sucks—now this? Trembling with rage. Didn't wanna, but...
"Hey, Cecilia."
"Yes!"
"Ahem. Uh, let's... date sometime."
"Wheeee!"
Blood-soaked, she hugs him tight. Lovestruck face, ignores staining her white robes.
Hmph! I'll be watching!
Venus withdraws her disapproval.
Penalty counter released.
Your life added to Venus's favorites list.
Gain blessings from multiple gods to unlock synergy blessings tailored to them.
"Huh?"
Synergy blessings? Venus held back her favor before, blocking it. Get hers, and synergies based on gods' traits unlock? Unexpected perk.
"For real?!"
"Ow... yeah, for real."
Bolted out. Cecilia rolling on ground like a maniac in the distance.
"Ha... life."
Bolts upright from sleep. Body fine, but mentally drained.
Envoys coming soon. Northern giants—Vikings or Giant Gods Tribe—invading. Empire's weakening grip calls him to block them.
Minutes ago, he'd ignore them. War with giants? Hell no for his chill life. But serialization means refusal equals death.
Join the war, then? Inevitable. Follow novel plot, maybe survive. Slack off fishing? Views tank to zero. Kid could figure that.
What to do? "Gotta whip the knights into shape first."
Hated it. Knights were his shield for easy living—not war tools. Circumstances suck.
Dragged himself up. No more delaying.
Strolled territory from villa. Chilly autumn wind. Winter soon—no sane war in cold, but giants thrived physically, ate tons. Southraids for food when winter starved them. Empire summons him.
Dusk falls; folk wrapping up work.
"L-Lord!"
"Eek!"
Villagers slink away. Fix that? Landless nobles get no respect. Power from economy, troops, elite knights. His strength was exception, but war needs armies. Time to manage territory.
Management later. Novel knowledge alone could boom it. Follow script for massive gains.
At fountain, expected knights headbutting. Instead, lounging, bullshitting.
"See those fuckers?"
Was he always this hot-tempered? Post-possession, temper flared despite suppression.
Whoosh!
Leapt, landed before them.
Boom!
Fountain stones cracked.
"L-Lord!"
"What the fuck you doing?"