Magic Is Just a Bonus
Keisha Winsler
Karlstein logged into the community and settled back to enjoy the show. The place was ablaze, showing no sign of burning out anytime soon.
The Juddak's tiny gift of chicken and cola had swelled into a tidal wave that shook the entire community. Everyone, one after another, began clinging to him — begging him to release more stock, begging for his mercy.
Violent posts followed in short order.
Karlstein left a single, brief reply.
And the floodgates opened.
Posts glorifying the Juddak, and shameless memes besides, began carpeting every thread in sight.
"Anyway, what a circus."
Karlstein snorted. He wasn't in a bad mood about it. No — the excessive attention was, if anything, delightful.
It was in the middle of all this that he stumbled across a certain post.
The replies came down on her like hail.
Karlstein wore an expression of growing interest as he skimmed the user's recent history — the one currently being beaten half to death in the replies.
Digging through her posting history, Karlstein found that "Magic Is Just a Bonus" did indeed seem to nurse some manner of grievance — and, if anything, a subtly hostile streak toward SF.
Chuckling to himself, he pored carefully over her older posts. What stood out most was how many of them read less like forum chatter and more like academic papers.
A survey of the comments suggested she was no regressor, no possessor, no reincarnator from Earth — she appeared to be an ordinary native of another world.
"In a way, she does resemble that lich."
The lich in question was, at this very moment, deep in researching the hair-growth tonic Karlstein had sent him, clawing at a head that had no hair to claw and writhing in despair. The difference, perhaps, was that while "LichKingAndWinning" worshipped magic for magic's sake, "Magic Is Just a Bonus" seemed genuinely devoted to the technological progress magic engineering could bring.
Which was, frankly, more than enough to catch his interest.
Come to think of it, until he himself had shown up, "Magic Is Just a Bonus" had apparently been regarded as the community's representative of the most advanced civilization — a pride that had seeped unmistakably through her manner of speech. But once Karlstein appeared on the scene as an admin, her stock plummeted. Part of it was that plenty of users delighted in provoking that stiff, brittle, borderline-hysterical tone of hers.
And lately she'd been drowned in endless mockery, people jeering "can't you people manage even this much?" while holding her up against "Universe Emperor."
Karlstein beamed and sent her a message.
— Universe Emperor: So, about that hair-loss drug. Possible?
[A message from the Administrator has arrived.]
She had been sifting through data at a frantic pace, hunting for flaws, when the admin's message made her eyes go perfectly round.
Universe Emperor... an SF-possessed... an Administrator.
Being a so-called genuine otherworlder, she didn't know the details, but her investigation of the community had taught her at least what "SF" was supposed to mean.
It sounded like the most absurd worldview imaginable — and yet she refused to dismiss it. She already knew of beings cut from similar cloth, after all.
"Lady Keisha?"
"Madam Director?"
She snapped back to her senses at the voices, and there they were: more than a dozen researchers staring at her, dark circles sagging to their chins just like her own, unwashed from days without a proper bath.
She cleared her throat and spoke quickly. "Let's stop here for today. We'll pick up where we left off tomorrow."
At her words, the researchers exchanged is-she-feeling-all-right? glances and murmured among themselves as they dispersed.
She untied the cord binding her hair back and let out a long sigh as it spilled down over her shoulders. The crinkle of her pinched nose and her general dishevelment were no better than her researchers', but there was still a light to her: black hair, black eyes, pale skin, a pair of fist-sized glasses, and a white lab coat.
Back in her private laboratory, she sat down at her desk with a flicker of anticipation and a flutter of nerves. Tomorrow was the day of the Inspectorate's audit, and there was a mountain of preparation waiting — but for this one moment, she decided not to care.
After all, the person who'd messaged her was a heavyweight among heavyweights, even within the Dimensional Integrated Community.
A being who had supposedly hacked the Dimensional Integrated Community, made himself its Administrator, and then built an entire dimensional transfer system from scratch. It was only his claim, granted — but if he had truly accomplished all of it himself, then he was unquestionably a figure worthy of awe. Even she, so proud of magic engineering's superiority, had no intention of taking "Universe Emperor" lightly.
"The Dimensional Store was a bit of a letdown, I'll admit."
The community was drowning in praise for the admin, the Juddak — but to her, honestly, it was nothing but disappointment.
Chicken, cola, Hanwoo beef.
It wasn't as though they were barbarians. A community gone mad over food simply never grew familiar, no matter how long she watched.
"And the daily necessities are more ordinary than I expected, too."
What she wanted was an exchange of technology — of civilizations. Sharing knowledge, debating it, pushing both toward an evolved way of life: surely that was the true purpose of a community?
She took a deep breath at her desk and opened the Administrator's message. Surely an Administrator of all people would have read the mountain of papers she'd posted over the months? In that case, a somewhat higher-caliber conversation was in order...
— Universe Emperor: So, about that hair-loss drug. Possible?
"...."
She had assumed his community persona was nothing more than an act — and now she sat there, dumbstruck, as if time itself had frozen.
Such... such vulgar phrasing...
She drew a deep breath and composed a calm, rational reply.
— Magic Is Just a Bonus: I would prefer a somewhat more constructive exchange, if you don't mind. Magic engineering, too, has achieved progress that in no way yields to your SF civilization. For instance—
She delivered an entire lecture on the many virtues of magic engineering. Surely, with an explanation of this caliber, the Administrator could not fail to understand.
Ding—
[A message from the Administrator has arrived.]
— Universe Emperor: So, possible?
"...."
— Magic Is Just a Bonus: The applications of magic engineering are limitless, and this world is riddled with countless problems that threaten humanity. Even now, beginning with the diversification of our planet's resource circulation, we stand at the forefront of solving them. There is no need to squander technology and time on something as trivial as baldness—
Ding—
[A message from the Administrator has arrived.]
— Universe Emperor: Possible?
— Magic Is Just a Bonus: I am saying that research into the matter has simply not been active — not that it is impossible! With sufficient time and budget—
Ding—
[A message from the Administrator has arrived.]
— Universe Emperor: lol
"Y-you... you...!"
And so an unidentifiable scream rang out from the Director's private laboratory.