Middle School Days (3): The Breaking Point
A. How did things end up like this? Da-eun thought slowly. Like a broken-down car, her thoughts flowed sluggishly. If only they would just stop.
Her imperfect, shattered mind trickled on until it finally found an answer.
'It must have been... back then, right?' Da-eun murmured quietly to herself.
She'd thought about it countless times, agonized over it, hesitated—but the conclusion was always the same. And yet, she couldn't believe it. It was such a trivial matter. Just one page in the fleeting scroll of youth. For those involved, it would fade into a dusty old memory.
Da-eun blamed her past self as she reflected.
'That confession back then... Should I have accepted it?'
She agonized. Agonized and agonized some more. But no answer came. It was all in the past now. You couldn't recapture spilled water, just as you couldn't gather up the time that had poured away.
She closed her eyes. She was already face-down on her desk, the world blocked out on all sides. Even so, she squeezed them shut tighter.
"Is she pretending to sleep?"
"Wanna bet? Bet she's really out."
"Get lost. Why bet on a loser like her?"
With her eyes closed, their voices pierced her ears. An impulse surged up inside to plug them with her hands. "......"
But she didn't. Such a tiny action could boomerang back as torment at any moment. So—she could do nothing.
In this classroom, Da-eun was like a bug that got crushed the moment it caught attention.
'How long does Unnie want me to wait?' The question bubbled up suddenly in her mind. How long did she have to endure this life, holding on?
Just once. Maybe close her eyes tight and beg strongly for help, just once.
'No... even this is too much to ask. Unnie's struggling enough already.'
She pushed the thought away, folding it neatly and stuffing it deep inside. Unnie was working so hard—what good would her whining do? She just had to wait. As the one who'd begged for help, she was nothing but a pathetic bug, endlessly waiting.
At that thought, Da-eun's heart churned. She squeezed her eyes shut, swallowing the tears threatening to spill.
'How would Oppa handle this?'
The image of Kang Sung-hoon came to mind. Her stepbrother, the person she admired most. This was a secret from him, of course. If he found out, who knew what teasing he'd unleash.
But there was a reason she admired him. If he were here right now... No, this whole mess never would have happened in the first place. She was sure of it.
He read people's faces. Inferred their emotions and thoughts naturally. And helped them based on that. That was the Kang Sung-hoon Da-eun had seen.
'If I could do that too... I wouldn't have ended up like this.'
She'd only realized it recently. To hide her bullying, she had to watch others' reactions. Repeating that over and over had shown her just how incredible Sung-hoon was.
She compared herself to him naturally. Her thoughts spiraled negatively again. Tears welled up. She agonized over not holding back just once. Thought of Eun-seo helping her and gritted her teeth.
One second. One minute. One hour. Endure, endure, endure.
A day. A week. If needed... even a month.
She patched up her crumbling heart. Stabbed it with needles, stitched it crudely back together. Then it felt okay. Like nothing mattered right now.
And—as Unnie had said, just wait a little longer—
"Hey."
Da-eun flinched. Her body reacted on reflex. Laughter echoed from above her head. It had to be mocking her, she thought.
'If I ignore it, they'll get bored and leave.' That had been the pattern so far. Based on all her accumulated experience, Da-eun judged it so—and the moment she tried to consciously tune out her ears—
"Hey!"
A booming voice rang in her ears. Her body moved unconsciously, and her vision brightened in an instant.
Sunny skies through the window. A pristine green blackboard without a trace of chalk dust. Classmates chattering away happily. It all felt wrong. Da-eun thought so.
Why wasn't it gray? In manga, it always rained under gloomy skies when the protagonist suffered, the world turning monochromatic as friends fell silent.
The answer came pathetically quick. She wasn't the protagonist. Lee Da-eun wasn't the protagonist. So no rain fell, no backgrounds shifted.
"Come out."
So she followed the boy's words. For an extra like her, no protagonist would come to save the day.
Da-eun trudged silently after the boy. She realized naturally that the guy she was following was the one whose confession she'd rejected.
'Why. Why do this?'
The question rose, but sank without leaving her lips. Her mouth just opened and closed, exhaling empty air.
She wanted to see his face. What expression would he make seeing the girl who'd confessed to him suffer like this? But she couldn't lift her head. Helplessness etched into her bones pressed it down.
And so Da-eun walked and walked.
......
Behind the gym storage shed. A shadowy spot where few footsteps reached. Even the wind barely stirred the stagnant, oppressively stuffy air.
"...Lift your head."
Short words. Da-eun's shoulders twitched.
"......"
After a brief hesitation—she raised her head slowly. Very slowly.
And then.
"...Huh?"
Her eyes froze. Unfamiliar faces. Not in school uniforms. Not in gym clothes.
—Adults.
The moment she registered it, Da-eun's feet backed away instinctively.
"..."
One step. A tiny distance. But—
Thud.
Something blocked her from behind.
"...!"
She couldn't move. Her body wouldn't go any further back. She turned her head. There—stood the boy. Blocking her path, face utterly nonchalant.
"...Why..."
Her lips trembled. Breath came in ragged gasps.
"...Why..?"
The question squeezed out. At that—the boy's lips curled up. Like a kid who'd found a fun new toy.
"Isn't it obvious?"
Casually. Without a care.
"'Cause it's fun."
That one phrase. It stripped all meaning from the time she'd endured until now.
"...Ah..."
Da-eun's legs gave out. She collapsed with a thud. Her hands hit the ground. The cold seeped into her fingertips.
Her mind emptied. Everything she'd held back, endured—it all turned ridiculous.
Then. A shadow fell over her from the front. She didn't need to look up to know. They were approaching. Slowly. Casually.
"..."
Da-eun's hands clawed at the ground. She had to run. That single thought remained.
But—her legs wouldn't move. Her body wouldn't obey.
With her hands. Pushing the ground with her hands—
"Ugh.."
She tried to inch away even a little.
Seeing that.
"Hahaha, what the hell, she's crawling?"
"Hey, look at that."
Laughter exploded. From the front, the sides, behind. Even girls who must have been hiding somewhere joined in.
"This is hilarious."
Those words burrowed into her ears. Da-eun's hands stopped.
Then—
"I told you."
The boy's voice. Right above her.
"You could've had it easy if you'd accepted my confession."
Casually. Without a care.
"But you rejected me—"
A pause.
And then.
"So this is what you get."
He said it like it sealed her fate.
"..."
Da-eun's eyes shook. Only then—did it all connect.
The beginning. That day. Her choice.
"...Ah..."
Her breath leaked out. Reason. Cause. Result. It all linked into one.
In that instant, one of the adults stepped closer. The scrape of shoes. Too close now. Da-eun's body stiffened.
"Ah... Ah.."
No proper sound came out. Her mind went blank.
Then. Suddenly—a voice echoed in her head.
'Just wait a little longer—'
Eun-seo's voice. Clutching it, Da-eun opened her mouth.
"...If I wait…"
Softly. Too softly.
"...You said it'd be okay..."
She didn't know who she was talking to. It just—slipped out.
But—
"Wait and it'll be okay? Is that how you've been surviving?"
Mockery. Her hope crushed lightly.
"..."
Da-eun's gaze dropped slowly. Strength left her hands. The fingers gripping the ground slid limply away.
'How long..?'
The thought flowed.
'How long... do I have to wait..?'
No answer. Anywhere.
In that moment—Eun-seo's face appeared. Always composed, always full of conviction.
"Just a little longer—"
Those words. They—
"...Just a little longer…"
Twisted from Da-eun's lips as she repeated them.
'Even in this state..?'
Her eyes shook.
'Even after... all this..?'
Her chest tightened like it was tearing.
And—
'Do I still... have to wait..?'
The moment that question arose. Something—
Snap.
—Broke.
"...Ha…"
Her breath crumbled. What had pooled in her eyes could hold no longer—and quietly spilled over.
At the same time. Da-eun's gaze—went completely dark.
Waiting—no longer looked like hope.
The adults closed in. Something glinted in their hands. She had to run, but her body wouldn't move at all. Her heart fully stopped, her brain rejecting thought.
And the moment the adult's knife tore Da-eun's clothes—
-Crack!
The sound of breaking bone rang out. The man collapsed with a "Gaaah!!"
And then, the voice of the person she admired reached her.
"D-Da-eun-ah. You're okay, right? Tell me you are..?"
That voice was different from usual. The calm tone trembled wildly. The warmth she'd always felt was gone.
And—
"....Da-eun-ah, close your eyes. Until I say it's okay to open them."
Hearing that, Da-eun squeezed her eyes shut tight. Surely, if she opened them, everything would be resolved—that thought filled her head.
"I'll handle it."
Her brother Kang Sung-hoon was that kind of person.
Behind the gym storage shed. Groans echoed from here and there. Several lay collapsed on the ground. One clutching his wrist, curled up. Another crawling, barely breathing. One more wailing, gripping his shattered leg.
And—students slumped speechless.
No one would call this normal.
Eun-seo barely stifled a scream, hand over her mouth.
And—at the center of it all.
"...Ugh!"
Was Sung-hoon. A knife was embedded in his left hand. Piercing straight through from palm to back. His face was swollen with blood. His clothes were trampled, covered in footprints. His legs trembled at the limit of standing, his hands shaking too hard to clench into fists.
"Eun-seo... Unnie."
Then Da-eun's voice came. Eyes still closed. Tears streaming down.
Unaware of anything. She opened her mouth hollowly.
What came from her lips was—
"Is this... the result of waiting and waiting, like you told me to, Unnie..?"
The worst. Nothing else could describe it.
Those blind words pierced Eun-seo's heart like arrows.
The perpetrators rolled on the ground. The victim wept, a knife through her hand. Eun-seo alone stood unscathed. She'd told her to wait, and witnessed the horrific end of that wait.
"No..."
Eun-seo denied it quietly. But reality didn't change dramatically.
Bystander. Student Council President Kang Eun-seo had become a bystander. Failed to protect even one close dongsaeng, told her to wait—and in the end, hurt even her brother. While she herself stood safe.
Pushing everyone around her into harsh hell.
"Ha.. ha... hahaha..."
Eun-seo laughed. She felt like she was going mad. She had to do something like this.
"I was wrong.. All of it. Wrong—"
The school, once a blue spring of youth. In this moment, became hell for Eun-seo.
If only the story ended here. But Eun-seo still had more to face ahead.