The Calm Before the Storm
Have I ever met the calm before the storm? With Na-ri and me? Hearing the Librarian Teacher say that, I froze. I set down my fork and sank into quiet thought. Na-ri's face came to mind. Her beauty fit the term literary girl perfectly. It's not the kind of face you see every day. Unless something extreme happened, it would've stuck in my memory. I rewound my memories back. If Na-ri and I had really met, it had to be there somewhere.
I went back to the start of high school. I was sure that's where I'd first met her.
"Need a hand? You look like you're struggling."
I skipped past that first meeting memory. She was clearly carrying a ton of stuff, so I'd helped her out.
"...Thank you."
That's exactly what Na-ri had said. No sense that she recognized me. If I'd looked at her face more closely back then, I might've realized. But that thought was already in the past, so I buried it and delved deeper.
Before the high school entrance ceremony. Much further back. Not after middle school graduation—nothing memorable happened then. Middle school third year... no, couldn't be. There was a big incident that year, but I was certain it had nothing to do with Na-ri. I kept going back to second and first year. But even then, Na-ri's face never surfaced.
Memories fade over time. Even first-year middle school was hazy now. I frowned slightly and tried digging deeper.
.
..
...
....
.....
......
Stop. Stop stop. Stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop...
Don't dig any deeper.
My thoughts slammed on the brakes. Like hitting the pedal hard, my mind slowed to a crawl. My subconscious took over fast, yanking my mind back, refusing to let it go further. From deep inside, a question echoed.
'If you go any further, you might end up back in the old days.'
That voice was mine. More precisely, the me from childhood. My smaller self stood there, arms spread wide, blocking my path.
'...What the hell is this?'
I panicked. What kind of situation was this? Something straight out of a novel was happening to me right now. Maybe I could even talk to him. The impulse hit just as my mind reeled dizzily.
"...Ugh!"
A short groan. My head snapped back. When I came to, a palm hovered in front of my eyes.
"You okay...?"
I turned. Na-ri was there, face full of worry, asking if I was alright. Waving her hand in front of me was probably to check if I was still with it.
"....."
I stared straight at Na-ri. Eyes, nose, mouth. I just took in her features. After a few seconds...
"D-don't stare like that... it's embarrassing..."
Na-ri covered her face with both hands. I apologized and backed off. At the same time, I thought:
Na-ri's face... I've definitely never seen it before.
"Huh...? You just did."
"Just talking to myself."
I brushed off Na-ri's words naturally. I considered asking her directly, but it felt rude. If our meeting was some insignificant moment for her, fine—but it might've meant something to her. I gave up on questioning Na-ri. I just chewed and swallowed the food in front of me.
But oddly, it wouldn't go down my throat.
After lunch with the Librarian Teacher, time flew by like an arrow, and the incident faded from memory. There were bigger things coming up. Midterms—the biggest event—plus the cultural festival... And this time, especially—one more thing.
"Ha..."
I let out a quiet sigh. The paper had a red circle slashed around the keyword
Love
"This is tougher than midterms..."
I muttered softly. Midterms weren't an issue—I'd studied on and off. But this play, dumped on me like sudden homework? That was the real problem.
I was confident in scripts. I wouldn't bomb it, even if it wasn't a smash hit. But—this was tricky.
I sighed and tapped the word love with my pen.
"What're you doing?"
A voice came from behind. Familiar, so I didn't turn.
"Working on the script."
"Oh yeah, you're handling the script, right? Thought you were an actor."
"I've always wanted to write scripts. Don't change my aspirations on me."
I said it quietly to Park Ha-yoon. Thanks to her chiming in, all eyes turned to us. But Ha-yoon, true to her innate inssa nature, didn't care.
"You haven't even started?"
"Plenty of time left. What about your group?"
"We haven't either."
Then why say "haven't even"? The question popped up, but I didn't voice it. She just wanted to talk to me. After hanging out a few times, I'd picked up on Ha-yoon's patterns. She casually dragged a chair over, leaned in like she was teasing.
"So, where's our actor-slash-playwright stuck?"
"Right from the start. Can't even get off the ground."
"Really? The theme this time is—"
"The theme?"
"......"
Ha-yoon trailed off. Too embarrassing to say herself, apparently. With Lee Geon-woo in the class, even the dumped Ha-yoon couldn't spit it out easily. So I did.
"Love."
"Yeah...! Right, that was it?"
Ha-yoon chimed in awkwardly to my words. Even I wouldn't say it outright, it seemed—her cheeks flushed a bit. Fanning her face like it was hot, she scooted back a little.
"...Which part don't you get?"
"Exactly what I said—the beginning."
I ignored her question, just tapping the love part with my red pen.
"How do I even express this? No clue."
"....."
Ha-yoon gave me a look like I was ridiculous. To her, it probably seemed absurd, but to me, it was dead serious. No matter how I thought about it, nothing clicked. I figured I knew it, but it didn't feel real.
Then Ha-yoon said quietly,
"How about... counseling?"
"Counseling? Got a recommendation?"
I shot back. Someone teaching you about love? Smelled like a con artist. People peddling intangible stuff like religion, doctrines, beliefs—usually scams.
As I eyed her skeptically, Ha-yoon met my gaze.
"You know there've been no fights in our first-year class?"
"...Do I need to know that?"
"Cold guy. No wonder you're an assa with no friends."
Ouch, that hit deep. Sneaky uppercut—against the rules. I was stunned. But Ha-yoon, oblivious after landing the verbal blow,
"Doesn't that seem weird? No fights?"
"...Yeah, now that you mention it. No fights at all?"
We're high schoolers. Full of youthful vigor, as adults say. Minds not fully grown, bodies are. Unstable times. Some going off the rails or acting out? Natural. Fights especially. Not everyone's like me, trying to stay low-key—plenty want attention.
So no fights? Weird.
Ha-yoon saw my puzzled look and caught on.
"More precisely, they get stopped before they start."
She pointed like she was teaching a student. No need to spell out who was who. Student me listened quietly to teacher-role Ha-yoon.
"I heard there were a few close calls. But they always got blocked at the last second."
Blocked at the last second. Her words felt off. People say "made up," not "blocked." So "blocked" meant...
"Someone mediating?"
"You hit me with those out-of-nowhere zingers sometimes."
Ha-yoon scratched her cheek, embarrassed. She'd skipped the intro straight to the point.
"Student Council President Kang Eun-seo. You know her?"
"......Yeah."
I knew her. Better than anyone in this class, probably. As I thought that, Ha-yoon added,
"This time, especially—she handled the bullying issue really well..."
Bullying. After that word, Ha-yoon's rest faded out. She'd said "especially." Meaning she'd resolved it dramatically. And that implied...
A show of confidence...?
Middle school. The personal tangle with the president. Knowing that changes the view. To outsiders, it's her achievement. But to me, tangled deep in her middle school life—
Bullying. Handled especially well. In my year, first-years.
'I did better. Is that what she's saying?'
"..???"
"Nothing. Just mumbling."
I closed my notebook. And muttered softly,
"Counseling. Maybe I should go see about that."