A Silent Ride Home
The subway car. We stood shoulder to shoulder, yet the air between us was inexplicably distant and heavy.
The steady vibration of steel wheels grinding against the rails and the fading echo of the station announcements were the only things filling the background.
Yuzuki kept her eyes fixed on her phone screen, not moving a single inch.
Her fingertips were calm, and not even the slightest tremor touched her eyebrows.
She looked exactly like someone deliberately trying not to show any expression at all.
I glanced at her from the side, then quickly looked away.
As long as Yuzuki didn’t speak first, I had decided to keep my mouth shut too.
The moment I opened my mouth, the memory of what happened in the infirmary would come rushing back too vividly.
So I felt it was better for both of us to stay silent and pretend nothing was wrong.
But that scene had never once left my head.
My head resting fully on Yuzuki’s thigh. The soft warmth of her skin that I had unconsciously rubbed my cheek against.
Even now, it all felt so unreal that I still felt like I was dreaming.
And yet it wasn’t a delusion. It had really happened.
That was how we maintained our silence all the way home.
My phone vibrated briefly.
I opened the screen without thinking and saw a text from Dad.
For a moment, I squeezed my eyes shut.
Of all days.
The heavy silence that had stretched between us the entire way from the academy, when we couldn’t even look each other in the eye.
In that state, the idea of eating dinner alone with Yuzuki felt far heavier than the word “burden” could describe.
I let out a short breath. Even though I was trying to shake off the tension, my exhale trembled slightly.
And so we arrived home still wrapped in the same silence, the same awkward distance, the same heavy air.
The moment I opened the front door, the familiar scent of home wrapped around me, yet it felt strangely foreign.
Yuzuki silently took off her shoes, lowered her head in what looked like a tiny, polite bow, and disappeared into her room without a word.
I watched her retreating back.
The way she vanished so naturally, without saying anything.
Soon after, the sound of her door closing echoed through the apartment. I stood alone in the living room for a moment, frozen.
Only then did I let out a deep sigh.
Throughout the entire ride home, the same thought had circled endlessly in Yuzuki’s mind: she must be losing her mind.
After classes ended at the academy, Yuzuki had tried her hardest to act like nothing had happened as she headed home.
She stared at her phone the whole time in case their eyes might meet, and on the way home she kept fiddling with her bag strap for no reason.
When they reached the front door, she brushed her hair back with the back of her hand and carefully composed her expression once more.
She had come home and closed her door just like always.
But that was when it started. Her entire body began burning with an unnatural heat.
Yuzuki threw herself onto the bed, feeling like she couldn’t breathe properly.
That lie.
Why had she said something like that?
A punishment? Because of Luna?
At the time, she thought it sounded somewhat natural, but looking back, it had been incredibly clumsy.
And what if Yuto immediately texted Luna to check?
—Was there really a punishment like that?
And if Luna answered without the slightest hesitation,
—There wasn’t anything like that?
Just imagining it made her chest tighten.
The scene played out vividly in her head.
Yuto asking Luna with a serious face, and Luna laughing lightly as she answered that she had no idea what he was talking about.
Then Yuto would immediately remember that answer and think,
‘Then why did Yuzuki say something like that?’
After that, it would only be a matter of time before everything was exposed.
The truth that, without anyone forcing her, she had simply wanted to rest Yuto’s head on her own lap out of pure desire.
In reality, Luna letting Yuto rest his head on her lap wasn’t that big of a deal. Yet Yuzuki couldn’t stand it.
It was jealousy.
At first she tried to brush it off as nothing, but the image wouldn’t leave her mind, and the center of her chest burned with a painful heat.
So in the end, she had copied exactly what that girl had done, imitating it in the most ridiculous and childish way possible.
'I’m crazy… I really must be losing my mind…'
Yuzuki clutched the blanket tightly and buried her face in the bed.
The inside of her thighs still felt faintly hot, and her heart continued to race with nothing but regret.
How long had she been drowning in that whirlwind of confusion and fear?
After hesitating for a moment, Yuzuki picked up her phone.
She wanted to check whether he had really asked Luna anything.
Even after pressing send, she couldn’t put the phone down.
She kept turning the screen on and off, checking it even though there was no vibration.
It was only a few minutes, but the wait felt unbearably long.
Then the reply arrived.
The moment she read that single sentence, a deep wave of relief washed over Yuzuki and she finally felt like she could breathe again.
…Good. Nothing had happened. Not yet.
She tried to conclude things there, but a heavy emptiness remained.
Somehow, she felt hollow.
When she realized that all her anxiety, jealousy, and worry had been nothing more than her own overreaction, her face grew hot.
The feeling of embarrassment surged in even stronger.
And then Luna’s next message arrived.
Her fingers froze.
Yuzuki took a short breath and replied with the simplest sentence possible.
She had meant to end it there.
If she said any more, she would only tangle herself up further.
But Luna didn’t stop.
It was just text, yet the tone felt like Luna was whispering playfully right beside her ear.
Yuzuki turned off the screen and slowly closed her eyes.
She couldn’t answer anymore.
She had no choice. If she said anything else to Luna in her current emotional state, she would definitely be found out.
So she had to stop here.
Yuzuki slowly pushed her phone under the blanket, pulled the covers over her head, and hid her face completely.
Tomorrow was the start of the weekend.
That was at least a relief. There would be no academy classes and no Coupling training.
If she had to climb back into the cockpit in her current state, she had zero confidence she could remain composed inside that enclosed space.
If nothing else, that much was certain.
How long had she been hiding her face under the blanket?
Knock. Knock.
Suddenly, there was a knock on her door.
There was only one other person in the house, so Yuzuki’s body stiffened reflexively.
—Yuzuki, got a second?
It was, of course, Yuto’s voice.
She couldn’t answer right away.
Yuzuki swallowed once and forced herself to regain her composure.
“…What is it?”
—Dad said he won’t be coming home tonight, so I was thinking we could just order something simple for dinner.
Yuzuki closed her eyes for a moment. It really was nothing important.
“…Whatever. Just pick something.”
The words were simple, but it took an enormous amount of energy just to say them.
Yuzuki realized how different she was acting from usual.
It was just a question about dinner, yet the end of her sentence had trembled strangely.
Why did such an ordinary moment feel so delicate now?
Just a few days ago, they had exchanged casual words without any awkwardness or hesitation.
Now even those few words felt like handling explosives, something that required extreme caution.
Under the blanket, Yuzuki slowly unclenched her tightly balled fist. Her palm was drenched in sweat.
—Got it. I’ll pick something then.
“…Yeah.”
Yuzuki deliberately kept her reply short.
But what was this?
She had thought Yuto would leave after hearing that, now that the conversation was over, but no matter how long she waited, there was no sound of footsteps moving away from the other side of the door.
At first she thought he was just slow to walk away.
But strangely, that silence stretched on for far too long.
It felt like he was standing right outside the door, hesitating over something.
The moment she realized that, her heart sank quietly.
Why was Yuto still standing there? Why wasn’t he leaving?
Her mind spun rapidly with complicated thoughts.
Suddenly, the message she had sent Luna flashed through her mind.
Maybe… Luna had already told Yuto?
Told him that she had sent that text, and now Yuto had figured it out…
She had no proof, but for some reason the possibility felt disturbingly plausible.
The hypothesis built up quickly, and the more she wondered if it was true, the harder it became to breathe.
Then Yuto’s voice came through the door again.
—Yuzuki, are you free tomorrow?
Yuzuki froze for a second. It was a simple question, yet it strangely caught her attention.
Yuto’s tone was as casual and indifferent as always, but the end of his sentence sounded slightly hesitant.
“…Why are you asking about my schedule?”
—There’s somewhere I want you to come with me. While we’re at it… maybe we could just go out for a bit and get some fresh air?
“…”
Yuzuki couldn’t speak.
It wasn’t anything special.
But hearing it at this exact moment made the suggestion feel strangely heavy, like it was hinting at something.
A proposal with no clear reason or purpose. That ambiguity only made her more confused.
A brief silence fell.
Then Yuto spoke again.
—…Well, if you can’t, that’s fine too.
Her heart dropped. It felt like he was about to turn around and leave right then.
Yuzuki drew in a breath and spoke, suppressing her emotions as much as possible.
“…It’s fine. I’m free.”
—Really? Okay. We can talk about the details… while we eat.
“…Yeah.”
In the end, we simply ordered delivery and ate dinner together in silence.
On the living room table sat half-cold fried chicken and two cans of beer we had bought from the convenience store.
“…So you’re saying we should go look at cars together tomorrow?”
“Yeah. No point dragging it out. You’ll get your license soon anyway.”
“Well, I don’t really care, but… does my opinion even matter? You’re the one who’s going to be driving it.”
“It’s the car I’ll be driving you around in. So of course your opinion should count too.”
At those words, Yuzuki momentarily lost hers.
It wasn’t anything particularly special, yet a strange resonance brushed across her chest and lingered.
When he said “the car I’ll be driving you around in,” the warm consideration behind it stood out with surprising clarity.
She turned her head away, afraid she might smile, but somewhere deep inside, her heart fluttered lightly.
His single sentence rippled through the air between them like a small wave.
Yuto handed her the tablet and scrolled through the screen.
“What kind of car do you like? Pick one, Yuzuki.”
“Hmm… I just want something pretty. How about this one?”
“That? Do you know how much it costs?”
“How much?”
“Over a hundred million.”
“…Yeah. That’s a bit much…”
She stopped scrolling in embarrassment. Since she had never really cared about cars, she hadn’t realized it was that expensive. Dad had said to pick anything, but she couldn’t actually choose just anything.
“…Then what about this?”
Yuzuki swiped to the next image.
It was a compact car with distinctive round headlights. It looked cute and practical.
“Isn’t that a little small? We’ll need space for luggage too.”
“Then how about this long one?”
“That’s… a family van. How many people do we have? Besides, that one’s pretty expensive too.”
“…Then what exactly are we supposed to buy?”
“Hold on. Ideally something practical and—”
Yuto’s finger stopped on the screen.
A sleek silver SUV caught their eyes. Its silhouette was clean, and the size looked just right.
“…This. It’s plain, neat, and the size seems perfect.”
Yuzuki stared at the screen, and her eyes suddenly sparkled. It wasn’t just because she liked the exterior.
The moment she saw the car, an imaginary scene unfolded smoothly in her mind.
The two of them riding that car together to the academy in the morning.
Driving side by side down city roads where sunlight shattered into fragments.
A quiet summer drive along the coast.
Him silently gripping the wheel in the driver’s seat, and her sitting quietly in the passenger seat beside him.
The wind brushing past the windows, and those very brief moments when their eyes would meet—
All of those scenes felt strangely familiar. They painted themselves in her mind without any resistance, completely naturally.
And she didn’t dislike that fantasy at all.
In fact, she found it oddly pleasant.
So much so that she wished this moment of choosing a car could last forever, for no particular reason.