Do I Look Like a Sucker?
After the Dungeon Cleaner recording wrapped up.
"Here's my business card. If you're interested, please be sure to get in touch."
"...Normally I shouldn't accept something like this."
She seemed to hesitate for a moment.
But Jeong Hayan took the card and slipped it into her wallet.
Is that wallet really just stuffed with receipts?
From the brief glimpse I got, there were only a few bills and a thick wad of receipts inside.
Nothing that looked like other business cards.
Then again, she was part of the Hero Party. Scout offers must come from every direction—it was only natural.
The fact that she accepted even a single card from me felt like her own quiet brand of courtesy, and that left me feeling surprisingly not-bad about it.
A whole exchange of goodwill over one business card.
It had a strangely classy ring to it.
Not that I was getting my hopes up or anything.
Still, if she ever did cross over to my side, I'd drag her in even if it meant licking Hyewon's toes for the privilege.
When it came to internal affairs and management, no one could touch Hayan.
"Lady Elysia! The milk you requested—kyaah?!"
"I told you I only drink XX milk shipped directly from France, didn't I...?"
"Well... as I've said before, that company already went bankrupt and doesn't exist any—"
"—If it doesn't exist, then go milk it yourself and bring it!"
"Ugh...!"
"...That crazy racist bitch?!"
Everyone else seemed completely blind to her real value.
Or maybe they knew exactly how valuable she was, and that was why they treated her like this.
Women's power struggles tend to get especially filthy.
To them, what mattered wasn't ability—it was relationships.
And in that regard, Hayan's position was... well, thinking any further about it was pointless, so I dropped it.
"Seiren."
Good kid. Are you okay?
"Eek...?!"
As I passed by Hayan I casually wiped the milk off her.
While I was at it I ran water over her whole body, scrubbing away the sweat and stains.
No need to dry her. Leave just the right amount of moisture and suck the rest away—that alone finishes the drying process.
"You really didn't have to go that far..."
"I'm doing it because I can't stand watching."
"I'm really fine, though."
"........."
Her eyes held more worry than gratitude.
Just in case, I asked the question that had been nagging at me.
"If I help you, are you going to start complaining that you 'received help' again?"
".........."
Silence.
That silence twisted something tight around my heart.
A squeezing pressure.
A rising heat of anger and irritation...
"Um... you seem a little different from usual?"
"Huh? Different how..."
"Before, you just told me to hang in there and walked past."
"That's..."
I used to think that whatever happened inside someone else's party should be resolved inside that party.
...What the hell? Was I a psychopath?
Looking back now, that response felt like a screw had come loose somewhere.
Something fundamentally off.
A reaction that was logical and "normal," yet completely devoid of anything human—no human scent at all.
Compared to that, the me of right now...
Jeong Hayan! Where the hell are you right now!!!
"That racist bitch for real?"
I could slaughter her right here.
For a split second the irritation boiling up inside me spilled out as a wave of vicious mana.
"Kyaah?!"
"Ah—sorry."
I reined it in immediately, but the awkward atmosphere lingered.
"...Want me to go inject some manners into that snobby French bitch?"
"Pfft... I'll just gratefully accept the thought!"
She clearly couldn't stay any longer; Hayan hurried away.
I stared blankly at her retreating back and thought.
...Something about this feels off.
My mood was restless and unsettled.
I clenched and unclenched my fist a few times—then that snobby bitch's voice came again.
──!──....!!!
"Would you look at that."
It wasn't even her period and her voice still sounded worse than a pig having its throat cut.
She wasn't this bad before.
Now she was evolving into a premium-grade man-hating snob.
The real problem was that the spirits seemed to prefer her that way.
Strictly speaking it's a little different. Her soul is just clean—it's not like we actually like her behavior or anything.
"That's kind of funny, actually."
In simple terms it was like having a high-end cooking streamer glued to your side teaching you recipes in real time.
You get called a dumb sandwich bastard the whole time, but the finished dish still tastes good so you eat it.
Tastes great, sure—but enduring the process itself isn't exactly pleasant...
They're only putting up with it because it's not aimed at them. The second she raises her voice at one of us, we'd leave on the spot.
"What a perfectly snobby-bitch situation."
Maybe because she was a racist she treated spirits as high and precious by contrast.
I thought it over for a second, then called Lan and made a request.
"That bitch. Right on the head. One big hit."
Grrrr... woof!
KRRRRRRRUMBLE!
Mana flipped in an instant.
Lan clearly shared my opinion of the snob; the substituted lightning slammed into her skull before she could even react.
—KYAAAAAAAH?!!
"Looks great on her."
Naturally, an A-rank—or especially an S-rank—awakener has pretty solid mana resistance.
A spirit contractor even more so. A hastily thrown lightning bolt would just sting a bit and be over...
But what about the hair?
I had perm-fried her head into a crispy roast chicken.
If she washed it carelessly she'd end up a short-haired bob girl; even if she tried to salvage it she'd be locked in the bathroom all day.
Anyway, no reason to stick around any longer. I was about to head out when—
"Hold it. Talk with me a minute."
"..........."
Why the hell are you still here?
I figured she'd demand an apology.
Or maybe offer one herself.
At the very least I didn't expect her to bury the past and start talking like nothing had happened... but—
"Join the raid."
"...Sluuurp."
Yeah. Okay.
They say Korea has more cafés than anything else, and looking at this place I believed it.
There was a dungeon right next door and still a café within a ten-minute walk.
Tiny landmass, absurd coffee consumption—it all checked out.
Not that any of it actually tastes different.
Who drinks coffee for the taste anyway?
You drink it to stay alive.
I sucked hard on the straw, took a deep pull, and slowly exhaled.
"If you're done talking, can I leave now?"
"...Kim Sunwoo. You're only acting like this because you don't get it. Do you even understand what it means to raid with the Hero Party?"
".........."
Where do I even start?
She clearly had no idea, so there was no point explaining.
I'd only end up looking like an idiot.
So instead of that—
"I don't know much, but I do know you shouldn't do this particular raid."
".........."
She narrowed her eyes.
I wonder if she realizes the person who actually wants to scowl is sitting right here.
I plucked an ice cube from the coffee and crunched it between my teeth.
"Did you seriously think I'd just happily tag along if you suddenly told me to join a raid with zero explanation?"
"It's an S-rank party making the offer. The Hero Party that's maintained a perfect clear rate until now?"
"Exactly... haaah. Where do I even begin."
I leaned back against the chair and stared at the ceiling.
Did joining the Hero Party dye her brain Hero-colored?
Sure, running raids is a good thing.
It benefits humanity, and on a species-wide scale there's hardly anything more honorable.
The old me might have found meaning in that and actually considered joining...
"...Ahh. Right. I get it now."
"What? Finally realized what an amazing opportunity this is?"
"No."
I still had no idea how good an opportunity it was supposed to be.
"But I finally understand just how much of a sucker the old me was."
".....?"
A look of pure confusion.
That expression—like this reaction was impossible—was all the confirmation I needed.
Sea hasn't changed at all.
I was the one who changed.
I was the one who became different.
Sea was exactly the same as before.
Chasing honor,
hungry for growth,
leaping toward that high sky.
The Sea from academy days was still standing right in front of me.
So—
"Do I look like a total fucking sucker to you?"
".....?"
I needed to say this.
"No. You already saw me as a sucker—that's why you pulled that shit in the first place. Right, Sea?"
"Wh-what are you talking about..."
The me of now was no longer the me of the past.
I crunched another ice cube while Sea sat frozen, breath caught in her throat.
"First point. Joining a raid with zero compensation? Do you think I'm some kind of community volunteer? Even volunteers get paid."
"Are you stupid? Once the raid is cleared of course they'll distribute—"
"—Nothing in this world is 'of course.' If you want a contract, write up a proposal first. Isn't that the more obvious part?"
"!... You've changed."
"I'm realizing it in real time myself."
Another ice cube. Crunch.
"Second point. I don't particularly want to do raids."
"...The old you would've charged in without thinking twice if it meant protecting people, no matter the danger."
"And what did we get for it? Every scrap of honor got swallowed whole by the Hero Party."
"........."
Her eyes narrowed even further.
I gave a crooked little smile.
"Third and final point. Why the hell should I walk into a raid that's obviously going to get me killed?"
"What....?"
"In case you didn't know, Yoo Jihye herself said it."
This raid.
Whatever else might be true, this particular raid was dangerous.
"Raids are always danger—"
"—That's common sense. But this is the first time the Hero Party side has ever actually said the word 'dangerous.'"
"........."
Eyes that said keep talking.
I closed my eyes for a moment and sorted my thoughts.
Yeah. Now I can see it clearly.
I still didn't know how much was pure delusion and how much was real, but—
"There's no man in the Hero Party except the Hero himself. Probably because of his ability, right?"
"...I have no idea what you're talking about."
"Don't play dumb. I know you well enough that this much is obvious."
I already knew Hyewon's ability inside and out.
I also knew it had grown right up to its limit.
But—
It was flashy as hell.
The explosion that went off behind the set.
The residual mana that scattered with it was definitely Sea's.
Yet something else was mixed in—something stimulating, something that elevated and amplified.
The same signature I felt from every member of the Hero Party.
Source: Elysia.
I could tell from the mana that racist bitch kept spewing while she threw her tantrums.
"What powered you up was the Hero's ability. And the only special thing that happened between you and the Hero is 'that.'"
"You should keep your delusions in check."
"Is the all-female recruitment a delusion too? Doesn't matter if it's delusion or not."
What mattered right now was the reason a party that only ever picks women suddenly wanted a man.
"As a man I can't even get the buff. It's not like we're close either. Irreplaceable talent? Elysia's a spirit contractor, isn't she? And yet they still need me? That's pure fantasy."
So they definitely weren't recruiting me for combat power.
"And right on cue Yoo Jihye told me this raid is so filthy dangerous I might die if anything goes wrong."
I first thought it was just a threat.
But looking at how they were gathering people under the banner of a 'second Hero Party'...
"A raid where I might die. Factoring in the possibility that I end up unable to use my abilities ever again..."
The sudden need for a man.
Didn't take deep thought.
"Sacrificial lamb. Or offering."
Plus I was one of Yoo Hyewon's people.
If I became permanently crippled, there was no better target.
"Alright. Let me ask you again, Sea."
I smiled, thick and dark, and looked her straight in the eye.
"Why the hell should I join a raid that's advertising from every rooftop that it wants me dead?"
"...Fine. I'm not going to drag someone who doesn't want to go."
Sea shot to her feet.
She stomped hard, like she couldn't stand looking at me another second, and headed for the exit.
"Don't die."
"!... Don't regret this."
One last line left behind by an old friend.
Sea tossed those final words over her shoulder and walked out of the café.
I felt a little stuffy and reached for another ice cube.
"....Hmm."
No ice left.
I'd eaten them all without noticing.
I watched Sea climb into a car and drive away, thinking quietly.
"If it were the old me..."
I probably would have followed.
Even knowing I'd die, I would have gone.
Protecting your comrades was just the natural thing to do.
"If it were the old me..."
With Hayan too.
I wouldn't have interfered or gotten closer than necessary the way I did today.
Because it was someone else's party business, not mine.
"...Huuuum."
I chewed on the empty straw.
Hypothetically. Just for the sake of argument.
"If it were the me of now..."
How would I react?
Would I throw my body on the line and sacrifice myself?
Or would I run and save only myself even if everyone else died?
I thought about it seriously for a while.
——Thump.
".....Heh."
The conclusion I reached was simple.
"Forget it. Whatever."
Why the hell am I even thinking about this?
How often does something like that actually happen, right?
As a side note.
"She failed... you say?"
"Even if we'd brought him, he was a guy we couldn't have used properly.....sir."
"....I see."
I'd thought it was the worst-case scenario.
...But he's back to A-rank.
Tch.
In that case, it was worth a shot.
The Hero sent Sea outside and called Yoo Jihye in.
"What did you need me for? If this is about the 'duty,' I was under the impression it was three days from n—"
"Draw up the raid schedule."
"...Is it time already?"
"Yeah."
The Morgan Raid.
The schedule was set.