Outcall Thai Massage
A man you can lean on.
That was the impression of Sunwoo that lived in Nari’s mind.
It had stayed the same all the way back to their academy days.
He was strong. He was generous. He was full of consideration and respected other people’s thoughts. Sometimes he came off as a few screws short, or did things that made no sense by ordinary standards, yet in the end he always worked for everyone else’s happiness.
That was why you gave him your heart.
That was why you stayed close.
That was why I…
“………”
Even after they left the academy, even after they stepped out into society, Sunwoo’s behavior never really changed. There had been some shifts, of course. But the core of him remained the same.
The clumsy edges had vanished; the hesitant look in his eyes had steeled. He had found a center, and clear rules about right and wrong. Above all, as party leader, every action he took was flawless.
He led the party. He did not pry into the members’ private lives. Yet when something threatened the party itself, he soothed and settled it. He built their relationship strictly as leader and members—never closer, never farther. Exactly on that boundary line was how Sunwoo treated them.
So…
“…You got angry, didn’t you?”
She didn’t know.
She had no idea what he was angry about, or what he had seen in her that made his eyes look that way.
The sudden flip in his attitude.
The ice-cold tone. The empty eyes.
This was not the kind, considerate Sunwoo. He kept pushing her away as if something had possessed him.
The words had slipped out before she could stop them—Nari’s own way of saying please don’t make me, I’m not ready yet.
“No.”
“Sunwoo would never say something like that.”
She couldn’t understand it. She couldn’t accept it. That was why she had decided to go see him again.
There has to be a reason he got angry.
Instinct told her so. If they parted like this, everything could end with nothing left. The last thin thread still connecting them could snap without a single chance remaining. Vague anxiety and an inexplicable sense of wrongness twisted unpleasantly around her heartbeat.
“It must be because he’s tired. Now that I think about it, his face looked really worn out yesterday too.”
When you’re exhausted you get sensitive. When you’re sensitive, sharp words come out. Nari forced herself to settle down and started walking toward Sunwoo.
“Mom! That noona has a butterfly on her belly button!”
“Shh! You don’t say things like that!”
“….Ah.”
She had thrown a parka over herself, but underneath she was still wearing the thin clothes. Nari quietly pulled the jacket tighter and headed for the house where Sunwoo was.
“…Ugh.”
Thump. Thump.
Her heart kept racing the entire walk. It wasn’t simply because her stamina had dropped. Even if she had lost her power for a while, she was still a former awakener. A little walking shouldn’t make her heart pound like this.
It wasn’t fatigue or exhaustion.
“Hah… hoooo…”
It was anxiety. The trembling that came from tension. She was scared. She was afraid. For some reason, being under the sun in this place felt unbearably uncomfortable. When someone walked right beside her she flinched and hunched her shoulders without thinking. When groups of men passed on the other side of the street, her feet stopped completely. Irregular breathing. Pulse. She held her breath and forced herself forward one step, then another.
“Ah…!”
The moment she finally reached Sunwoo’s place, Nari almost ran the rest of the way.
“Sunwoo!”
And after she barely made it inside and they talked…
“Look at yourself right now. From any angle, you’re pure outcall Thai massage.”
“………”
How… did it end up like this…?
“Wait, Sunwoo! Just a second! Five minutes is enough!”
“…Hah.”
Nari had come to the house. I stepped straight outside and locked the door with my back against it. Ironclad defense of the front door. I eyed her warily and asked,
“What are you here for? For the record, loans, cosigning, multilevel marketing—whatever—I’m not interested.”
“That’s not why I came….”
“Then what? Here to threaten me with selling your body again?”
“Threaten… I told you that’s not why I’m here!”
“You say that, but your track record is too long.”
“That’s…”
She had nothing to say. Nari just stood there with her head bowed in silence.
If the kid has any conscience left, that’s exactly what she should do.
Every single time something happened:
Yeah~ I’m gonna do drugs!
Yeah~ I’m gonna sell my body!
Yeah~ I’m gonna completely fall apart!
…Looking back on it now, maybe I would’ve been better off just telling her to go ahead and fall apart and cutting her loose. What the hell is friendship even supposed to be? What the hell is morality? If I’d just cleanly accepted that she was trash, my life would’ve been so much easier. What the hell was I so hung up on all this time?
It was so absurd, so ridiculous, that all I could do was let out a hollow laugh.
“…I’m sorry. I was just… I didn’t have any room to breathe.”
“Even when you did have room, it didn’t look all that different.”
“………”
Silence again. But this silence felt completely different from the last one. Before, it had been because she genuinely had nothing to say. Now it was a spiteful look, like she was asking why the hell I was treating her this way.
That’s kind of new.
I never used to think like this. I used to just tell myself she had her personal reasons, understand it, respect it, and move on. But ever since Nox settled in inside me, it felt like my capacity had gotten narrower somehow. Put nicely, I’d gotten more honest. Put badly, I’d grown a personality.
I was startled by my own change, yet strangely it didn’t feel bad. In situations like this I used to just swallow the frustration and let it go. I’d never spoken this freely before. Saying things without hiding them… it felt better and more exhilarating than I’d imagined. Especially the part where I wasn’t bottled up anymore.
“Hey… Sunwoo. Can’t you just tell me? If I did something wrong I’ll fix it and apologize.”
“There’s nothing to apologize for. It’s personal choice. Take responsibility for your own choices and your own life—that’s all I’ve got to say.”
So if you’re going to talk nonsense, get out. Don’t waste my work time for no reason.
“Sunwoo. Why are you really like this? You weren’t this kind of person!”
“This kind of person? What kind is that?”
“………”
“What, can’t say it? Want me to say it for you?”
I couldn’t say it before. But now—the me of right now—I could.
“You’re cold, right? It’s midwinter, so of course you’re freezing. So first I open the door and let you inside.”
“I’ve got work, but ‘friends come first,’ so I stick around. Probably boil some ramen and eat together?”
“After that I listen to you vent about how hard life is, go ‘aww that’s so sad, so pitiful,’ all that bullshit.”
“‘I might end up going back to how I was before’ or ‘Don’t leave me alone… I’m so lonely!’—that kind of thing.”
“And then, yeah. You’ll suggest living together for about a month? Though ‘a month’ is just words—you’ll basically glue yourself to me halfway.”
“What… are you even talking about right now…?”
Nari looked flustered. I didn’t stop.
“You probably won’t work. You’ll say you can’t, but I guarantee it—you don’t work. You’re the type who doesn’t. I’m not saying that based on your personality; the statistics just work that way.”
A life soaked in booze and drugs. A bitch who sold her hole and chose the easy way. Was it even realistic that a woman like that would suddenly start living diligently?
“…I’ve come to my senses now. Don’t judge my present and future by the past!”
“Is your life Bitcoin? Suddenly going to moon?”
Life is something you build step by step. There might be crashes, but “mooning” doesn’t happen. That’s the right way to look at it.
“So you’ll probably say you’re sorry and offer to do housework or something? But fuck, I know you. Am I going to hand you a vacuum? Hand you the kitchen? All you ever do is burn shit and break shit.”
I’d end up doing everything myself. And then you’d say you’re sorry… yeah. It’d go something like that.
“You’ll barge into the bathroom saying you’ll wash me, or sneak into my bed at night offering ‘service’—basically selling your body again, won’t you?”
In the end, a whore does what a whore does. Since you sold your body before, you’ll just sell it again, right?
The mockery came out so naturally that Nari couldn’t take it anymore. She shot to her feet and shouted.
“Kim Sunwoo!”
“What, Oh Nari.”
“….You. I’m disappointed.”
“Disappointed?”
Disappointed my fucking ass, spouting that bullshit.
“The person who’s actually disappointed is someone else entirely.”
Really.
Who do you think is the one who’s truly disappointed?
“You got dickmatized, threw away the party you’d worked like a dog for since academy days like it was trash.”
“Used a person as fucking seasoning for some NTR play.”
“Drugs, booze, men—you did all of it, and when I helped you because you were pitiful, because you used to be a teammate—”
“You turn around and threaten me like some drowning victim I pulled out of the water demanding my fucking bag—‘I’ll sell my body,’ ‘I’ll do drugs,’ all that shit.”
“I finally get you back on your feet, make a proper human out of you, and you still can’t get your head straight, throwing another whore fit about selling yourself again—”
“And now that it doesn’t suit your feelings you come at me with ‘disappointed’ this and that—what the fuck kind of disappointment is that, you fucking bitch? Disappooooointed?!!”
“!!… S-sorry. That part… I really was wrong about that…”
She slowly backed away. Lowered her head. Shrunk under the atmosphere.
At the same time, the Hecate inside me…
"Papa."
No.
It wasn’t Hecate.
"Nox can see it."
Nox.
The spirit who had been born in Nari’s arms, who had sacrificed herself to protect Nari, who had been abandoned by Nari, and who had been reborn in my arms, spoke.
“I… I was completely wrong…”
"That bitch is lying."
“……………”
I slowly closed my eyes.
Something… something had snapped clean through. The fire that had been roaring only moments ago had completely died, leaving nothing but cold ash.
“Nari.”
“…I’m sorry. I’m… so pathetic, aren’t I?”
“Oh Nari.”
“………”
I spoke calmly, head still lowered.
“I can’t accept the current you as a friend.”
“Sunwoo…”
“My friend… Nari… is the Nari from our academy days.”
“I’ll really get my head straight. I won’t even touch booze or drugs ever again, so—”
“—Nari.”
I pulled out my phone and took a picture of her.
The image of Nari reflected on the screen.
“Look at yourself right now. From any angle, you’re pure outcall Thai massage.”
“………”
Where had the bold, passionate Nari gone?
All that remained was a whore who existed to catch a man’s cum.
That single fact… was something I simply could not compromise on.