He Didn't Come...?
".............."
At first, she denied it.
No. It couldn't be.
She believed Sunwoo would come find her again. Because it was Sunwoo. Because he was kind and gentle. There was no way a man like him would forget about her—a pregnant woman—especially not on the day they had promised.
".............."
But he did not come.
In the end, he never came.
Rage boiled up. Fury clawed its way free. She spat every word she should never have spoken, cursing him with everything she had.
It did nothing for how she felt.
Still, the heat seemed to ease a little.
"............."
Maybe the stage had run late, she told herself. He had work as a producer. Their relationship was not so intimate that he would abandon his role for her, so of course he had to stay at his post.
But still… afterward.
Once everything was finished, wouldn't he come looking for her?
She watched the clock and waited. She waited until nearly midnight. And still he never appeared, not even when the sun rose again.
"............"
Looking back, it was only natural.
Sunwoo had always been a man who tried to stay faithful to his role. So in that place he had remained not as "Kim Sunwoo," but as "the producer." Because that was what he had been hired for.
Differences in position were inevitable. And his behavior had never changed—then or now.
Back at the academy, when they were cadets together, he had even cross-dressed for the sake of a fellow student.
In the NTR Party, as their leader, he had poured everything into the party.
And when he left the party and slept with the villain, he had congratulated the two of them and handed over his share of the party funds.
When she had crawled back to his side on all fours, he had still looked at her only as a comrade—nothing more.
As her own position changed, Kim Sunwoo's position had changed as well. And as positions changed, so did actions.
It was only natural. The natural order of things.
No matter how she wailed that she wanted to go back to the way things were, the time that had already passed, the positions that had already shifted, the places that had already vanished…
"........"
Instinctively she stroked her belly.
It still bulged outward. But she could no longer feel the pulse of life inside it.
She knew. The child had already been born and was being cared for separately. With Yuseong Corporation backing her, the care was top-tier.
They were taking in someone who had already betrayed a party—and a company—once before, all for the single fact that she had once been a friend and former comrade.
She had no right to be angry about that. No right to rage, no right to feel disappointed.
Yes.
So…
"Sunwoo…"
Despair, at least—that much should be allowed, shouldn't it?
Whipping the arrogant self that had dared to imagine, that had dared to fantasize on her own— that much should be allowed, shouldn't it?
"…Lord."
She clasped her hands together.
An act that had become far too familiar. The beginning of a confessional that slaughtered the self.
Her beginning. Her end. The start of sin, and a swamp of remorse where even repentance was not forgiven.
"What if…"
A brief escape from reality.
What if. What if it hadn't been that way.
"What if…"
Seven years ago—what if she had accepted Sunwoo's confession?
The party would probably have continued. Even if the members had shifted a little, she would at least have remained at his side.
But she had hesitated, and she had chosen. Not the man who had reached out to her, but the unnies who had already been beside her.
And the only thing left in the end was Sunwoo—the one whose hand she herself had cut off.
"What if…"
What if, when the villain approached her, she had refused to give him her heart and had resisted instead?
It had been hazy before, but now it was clear. Repeated self-reproach and regret had dragged even the forgotten past back into view.
"What if…"
She had felt something familiar. A feeling she had only ever known from Sunwoo—she had felt it from that villain.
So she had drawn closer. So she had grown used to him. So—she had given him her body.
Because he had come to her. Because he had whispered that she was his one and only, that he loved her. Because even when she treated him cruelly, his eyes had held only her.
…Or so she had deluded herself into believing.
"............."
Only now did she understand.
The reason Sunwoo had never come to her. From the start, she had been the one who pushed him away first; waiting for him to approach had been pure foolishness.
If anyone was going to close the distance, it should have been her. But she couldn't. She simply couldn't.
Because the moment she did—it would have been a betrayal of the unnies.
She, who had rejected him because she loved the party, had never found the courage to approach Sunwoo at the cost of rejecting the party.
So she had waited for him to come to her. And when he didn't, she had been disappointed. And so, to the one who did come to her…
"…Heh."
Her body felt ice-cold. As if her temperature had dropped three degrees. At the same time, something like scalding steam rose from beneath her lungs and climbed her throat.
Hot steam. Rage. And regret.
To drive it out, she quietly exhaled.
".............."
Shedding tears. Expressing the heart. Drawing out the hot steam to cool the body.
It had once been so bewildering; now it was the most natural act in the world.
She simply stayed where she was and waited for the tears to fall.
"…..Aha♪"
The tears that had already dried up and withered refused to flow. The scorching heat climbed past her throat into her head, twisting into a headache sharp enough to make her wince.
It hurt. It was agony. And at the same time, she could feel that she was still alive.
"Aha… ahaha…♪"
It hurt. And at the same time it felt good. Something pleasant rose high enough to leave her slick between the legs.
A hazy mind. Instinct running wild to escape reality. The scalding steam slowly transformed into something soft and sweet.
"Haaa… heung… aaaa…!!"
Instinctively she returned to the state that had always felt most comfortable. An instinct once branded into her brain. That damned thing called homeostasis dragged her back to her "original" condition.
Back to those pure days when she had gone mad for pleasure, for love.
"Sunwoo… Sunwoo…!"
Beneath the hospital gown her soft pink nipples stood stiff. She pinched the tips between her fingers and twisted as if she meant to tear them off.
Something dizzying rose.
Tears. Moans. Revulsion. Pleasure.
"──Hyaat….♪"
One climax. Her waist arched high. Her body trembled. Steam poured from every pore at the peak.
And of course, naturally—
"Heup….. heuk…. heuk….!"
The heat vanished. The good feeling ended. As her brain cooled, what returned was a cold, clear gaze turned upon herself.
Trash. Or rather, a cripple. A lewd whore. A filthy slut who, even in this state, still called his name while clutching her own breasts for comfort.
"….Ah♪"
A damp heat rose. Sticky and disgusting, like the heat of a swamp. Yet it was unmistakably warm, and though it was poisonous, a strange pleasure came with it.
The pleasure of self-abuse. The liberation of self-harm. The indescribable thrills that grew stronger the more she turned herself into garbage.
"Right…"
Of course she would be abandoned. Because in the end she had never trusted anyone. Because she had never fully trusted the person who had come to her.
That was why she was being punished. That was why she was suffering. Just as those who do not believe in the Lord fall into hell—
She who had not believed in Sunwoo, who had doubted him, whose heart had wavered…
"…Hyaat….! Nngh, heung….!!"
Not even trash—something lower than trash. A cripple. An idiot. Disposable garbage.
"Sun…woo…!!"
Her pussy. Her pussy was soaked. Under normal circumstances she should never have done this, but she was an awakener. Her body had long since recovered through her abilities. Even if the aftereffects of childbirth still lingered.
—Squelch♪
"Pussy… pussy feels so good….!"
Like a bitch in heat she thrust her fingers inside. Her thoroughly trained pussy wrapped hot and sticky around them.
"──Hahk….!"
It was coming. That sweet pleasure. The full-body tingle that made her toes curl. The irresistible pleasure that made her pant with her tongue hanging out before she even realized it.
—Squelch! Squelch! Squelch! Squelch!
"Sunwoo… Sun, woo…..!"
She called his name as she worked her pussy. It felt good. Her fingers felt good. Every time she spoke his name her pussy clenched tight. The way it writhed, desperately craving cum with everything it had, was no different from a thoroughly trained bitch.
"Sunwoo's… cock…!"
Ah. It was coming… Comingcomingcomingcomingaaaah…!!
—Psssh, ssssssh!
"───Hieeuk!!"
Climax climbed her spine. She gasped for breath over and over. After several seconds of lying there disheveled—
"……Ah."
She had already kicked off her pants. Even her underwear was gone, and here she was fingering her own pussy. Worse—she had stripped off the hospital gown entirely and was twisting her nipples while panting like a bitch in heat.
"Really… I am…"
She wanted to die. The cold clarity of post-orgasm. And at the same time, the emotion that rose with it was—
"….Tch."
Regret. Waste. Wanting to be fucked by a thick, sturdy cock…
…If a person's true nature shows itself in crisis, then she was nothing more than a Babylonian whore spreading her legs.
Staring blankly at the ceiling, she silently fondled her pussy and breasts.
Just as her eyes were slowly closing—
Bang!
"A powerful and strong morning!"
"Eh?"
"…..Eek."
The door swung open and Sunwoo walked in. In his hand was a bottle of apple juice for hospital visits.
And—
"…Sorry. I thought you were already finished."
"Ah… aah! Aaaaaah!!"
Sunwoo was already inside the hospital room. Probably had been for quite a while.