Dinner
I don't know if I've mentioned this before, but I was rather fond of drinking.
Not that I liked the taste of alcohol itself, or that I found it sweet. Alcohol was bitter as hell and tasted like shit no matter when I drank it. That nose-stinging sting of ethanol and the bitterness that lingered in my mouth — I never got used to either of them. Same went for the fruit beers and champagnes other people swore were delicious. No matter how I drank them, that bitter aftertaste just wasn't built for me.
So no, I didn't like drinking because of the taste.
The reason I still said I liked alcohol was simple. I liked that particular fuzzy, tipsy feeling you get when you drink. A moderate dizziness, a slight drowsiness — those felt good to me. They wiped a little of the clutter from my head. And the chilly night air hitting you while you were pleasantly buzzed had a certain mood all its own.
That's why I drank a lot after graduating high school.
I'd had a decent number of friends right after I graduated. The feeling of finally being an adult came flooding back together with all those memories of drinking ourselves stupid in high school. The liberation of having just escaped the college entrance exams, the freedom of something that had been forbidden as a minor finally opening up, and the depression of having failed to get into university on top of it — all of it mashed together, and I went bar-hopping with my friends. Forget tomorrow. Let's just enjoy today for all it's worth.
My friends still had two or three months before university started, so we could really cut loose without a care in the world. Then they started school... and I started studying for the retake, and naturally I ran out of time. No time meant contact grew sparse, and sparse contact meant things got awkward. These days I was even afraid to message them first.
Which is how I ended up drinking alone more often than not. Well, drinking alone had its own kind of charm.
...Thinking about it is just making me depressed.
Fuck it. That's just how life is.
It was the kind of loneliness you'd feel at least once in a concrete jungle — a deserted island packed with people. Mine had just shown up a little early. I decided to think that and move on.
Still, today was a pretty good day. Today, I actually had a drinking partner. A girl, even! A species still pretty foreign to someone who'd come out of an all-boys high school.
"The area around here is bar street."
Lee Eun-byul said that as she walked beside me. Her navy hair shimmered with every step, and it suited the night sky far better than it had the daylight.
We were strolling through the heart of downtown. Class had originally ended around three in the afternoon — a pretty early hour, when the sun was still bright in the sky. And yet here we were, only now heading to a bar. The reason was simple. We'd been hanging out elsewhere in the meantime. Karaoke, the arcade... we'd wandered around for about four hours, almost like we were on a date.
It had been a pretty decent stretch of time. No matter how socially gifted she was, you couldn't erase the awkwardness of still being strangers. We'd only properly met two days ago, after all. In that sense, four hours of hanging out had been more than enough to loosen things up — enough to start talking a little more comfortably, and enough to get a read on what kind of person she was.
"Is there any kind of vibe you like?"
She was a bright, easygoing type at her core, and you could see the confidence in every little thing she did. The way she struck up conversation with someone she'd just met without a hint of hesitation. The way she laughed and chattered without caring who was watching. She knew herself well, and she carried that knowledge with real confidence.
That didn't mean she was oblivious, though. She kept her manners when manners were called for, and she let loose when it was time to have fun. A social butterfly of truly formidable caliber. Thanks to her, even I got to feel like I was popular by association.
And in most situations she wore a faint smile, like she was trying to keep the atmosphere around her light. It made her surprisingly comforting to be around, despite the slightly intimidating first impression.
The smile's a little uncanny, though...
Eh, whatever. That's just humanity for you.
I answered her question.
"Well, honestly, anywhere's fine."
"Oppa, you know saying 'anywhere's fine' is worse than just not saying anything?"
I gave a wry smile. What was I supposed to do? I didn't know the streets around here. I thought for a moment, then named a type of place.
"Hmm. Is there an izakaya around here?"
An izakaya was a bar done up in the Japanese style — soft lighting, a warm atmosphere. Not a bad spot for just the two of us. It was more of a winter vibe than a summer one, but that didn't really matter.
"Yes! There is. I'll show you the way."
Eun-byul snapped to it like a loyal soldier and strode ahead. I couldn't help but snort a laugh at the sight of her marching out in front.
The izakaya wasn't far. She'd called it bar street, and sure enough, places selling drinks were scattered all over. Now that I looked, there were quite a few guys and girls laughing and chatting out on the sidewalk.
This place is gonna be filthy if you come out here at dawn.
The thought of cigarette butts littered everywhere and kimchi pancakes plastered to the utility poles made me laugh. I followed her inside.
"Ohh..."
The interior was pretty upscale. Wooden tables, wooden chairs with cushions, and orange lanterns lighting up the dim surroundings. Coming in the evening had been the right call. Places like this really came alive at night.
We sat down at a corner table in the back. After a short wait, a server dropped off menus and left.
"What would you like, oppa?"
"You pick what you want. I picked the place, after all."
"Hmm... then how about fish cake stew and chicken skewers?"
"Sounds good."
For drinks, I ordered two bottles of soju to start. Eun-byul's eyes went a little round.
"Oppa, can you hold your liquor?"
Guess ordering two bottles right off the bat had surprised her.
"Huh?"
I tilted my head. Two bottles was about one per person. Just one bottle each. For me, that was barely enough to even feel it. But she looked genuinely worried. Eun-byul hesitated a beat, then spoke carefully.
"I heard the average guy's limit is like 0.7 bottles of soju..."
0.7 bottles? What kind of half-assed number was that. And the amount itself was pathetic. Looks like in a gender-reversed world, alcohol tolerance got reversed too.
"You have to be careful. It's already evening — who knows what could happen on the way home."
The way she looked genuinely concerned made me laugh. Judging by her looks alone, you'd think she was the one who needed protecting, but here she was worrying about me. The disconnect was something else. I waved a hand.
"It's fine. That much won't even get me drunk."
"Ohh... so you can drink a bit?"
"A little. You?"
"Me? I'm fucking strong."
Eun-byul puffed herself up with mock bravado and threw her chest out. The motion brought her ample breasts a little closer. I barely managed to catch my gaze before it dropped.
Hah...
Those casual, thoughtless little gestures of hers threw me off every time. I wanted to look openly, but there was still too much distance between us for that. Honestly, it was a frustrating kind of distance. I wanted to close it if I could. Which is why I figured I'd use this chance to slip in a question.
"Your order is ready."
The server set various dishes on the table. The fish cake stew bubbled away on a portable gas burner, and the sauce on the chicken skewers gleamed. Faced with that mouthwatering spread, we cracked open the soju right away. Having good food in front of you and not pouring a drink was practically a sin.
"Shall we toast?"
"Sure."
She suggested it lightly, and I nodded. Glasses met with a clink and emptied. The drinks went down pretty fast. In a setting like this, it was better to get your head a little stupid than to stay completely sober. That fuzzy, tipsy state made for a good atmosphere to talk.
The conversation flowed naturally. It started with pointless small talk and gradually loosened up, until we'd reached the point where you could say just about anything and it would slide.
"So."
That's when I asked. A question that had been sitting with me since we'd first met, maybe.
"Why'd you suddenly want to go drinking?"
"Come on, do you need a reason to drink? I just felt like it, so I asked."
That was Eun-byul's answer. The kind of answer that tries to slide past the question. Not the one I wanted.
"Is that really all?"
I wasn't the most perceptive guy, but even I could tell this much. Yesterday she'd invited someone she'd just met out to eat. Today she suddenly wanted to drink.
This is moving way too fast.
No matter how I looked at it, it was fast. It wasn't a question of whether she was social — it was a question of whether she was choosing to deploy that social energy. Wasn't she coming at me the way you'd work someone you were into? That sly little smile, the way she reacted to everything I said — it all looked like the kind of gestures you put on to get someone to like you.
So I was curious. Was she doing this to get me to like her? That's what I was wondering when I asked. Was this a pickup? Was she deliberately running a charm offensive?
If she was, I was more than willing to get picked up. If she wanted to take me home, I'd happily let myself get taken. That's what I was thinking. So I'd deliberately loaded my voice with interest of my own when I asked.
But maybe that subtext hadn't gotten through. Or maybe it had, and she was just pretending it hadn't.
"...Who knows~?"
She just grinned and tilted her head.