Only I Was Human (End)
When I opened my eyes, Adelaide was sitting with her back against a rock. As I loosened my stiff shoulders and stood, her gaze turned to me.
"You're awake."
"...You could've woken me. What if you stood watch all night?"
"What's it matter? It's already over."
"..."
Adelaide handed me a leather pouch. A little water remained. I took a sip and passed it back; she took one too.
"Where to today?"
"Keep heading west. The big forest should be close."
"Once we enter the forest?"
"It'll be easier to hide."
And so we walked on. The next few days felt strange. To be precise, Adelaide was strange. She smiled noticeably more. She talked more too. She'd always only said what was necessary before, but now she opened her mouth first more often.
It happened as we climbed a hill together. Catching our breath on the ground, Adelaide sat close beside me and spoke.
"Have I ever told you why I became a knight?"
"...No."
"My mother was a knight."
"...Yeah?"
"The von Estia family has wielded swords for generations. My father was a knight, my mother was a knight. So it came naturally to me too."
"Didn't hate it?"
"...No, I liked it. Holding the sword. It felt like I could protect anything if I held one."
"..."
The sunset was spreading far in the distance.
"...My first sword was wooden."
"Wooden?"
"For practice. Mom carved it for me when I was ten. The balance was off, the weight uneven, but it was my first sword anyway."
"Still have it?"
"No. I tossed it when I got a real sword."
Adelaide gazed quietly at her hands on her knees.
"Maybe I regret throwing it away now. Didn't realize back then."
I waited, expecting her to continue. But that was it. Instead, she turned to look at me.
"You?"
"Me?"
"What did you do?"
"...Nothing much. For real."
"Tell me."
"...Stared at screens."
"Screens?"
"Don't exist in this world. Like thin boards, with letters and pictures popping up. I'd watch them all day."
"...For what?"
"Nothing at all."
"Really?"
"Yeah. Killed time watching pointless shit. Too lazy to meet people or go out."
"Weren't lonely?"
"Didn't even know to feel lonely."
Yeah. Back then, I didn't even know what loneliness was. But I only realized it after meeting Adelaide.
"Boring past."
"Always been a boring person."
A brief silence fell, broken when Adelaide spoke again.
"My father was strict."
"...Out of nowhere?"
"Not out of nowhere. Just continuing."
"Okay."
"'Don't hesitate once you grip the sword. A knight's blade dulls the instant you waver.' That was Father's teaching. I lived by it."
"Lived well?"
"...Dunno if well. But without regrets."
"Even now?"
"...Even now."
The answer was short. But heavy, somehow.
"Adel."
"Yeah."
"What was your mom like?"
"...Good person. Strict, but warm. Taught me the sword but always said not to cut people down lightly."
"...Kept that?"
"Somewhat. A knight's job is killing, after all."
And not just that—while walking, if she spotted yellow flowers by the path, Adelaide would stop first. Didn't know the name, but pretty, she'd say. Words unimaginable from the old her. She plucked one and held it out to me.
"...What're you doing."
"Take it."
"..."
I took it carefully. The stem was weak, crumbling between my fingers right away, but taking it mattered.
During rests, she always drew something in the dirt with a stick. The von Estia crest, she said. Two blades crossed over a shield. I'd stare at it awhile, then erase it with my foot, letting out an inexplicable chuckle.
At night lying side by side, she'd talk about her subordinates. How stubborn Zenon was, what pranks Kairin pulled. Overlapped some with Istius stories, but these were more detailed, more plentiful. No sorrow in Adelaide's voice. Like sorting memories.
...Sorting.
The word stuck in my head. Uncomfortably, for some reason.
"Adel."
"What."
"You've been talking more lately."
"...Have I?"
"Yeah. Feels different from before."
"...People get chatty with age."
"Not that old."
"Pfft."
And she laughed. For real.
...Weird.
Peaceful is nice, but something's off. Like pulling out her memories one by one, showing them, folding them away. Preparing.
...For what?
Should I ask? Would she answer? What if I get an answer I don't want?
In the end, I didn't ask.
While walking by day, a long, dull sound echoed from afar. Trumpet.
We both froze. Direction: north. Perpendicular to ours.
Adelaide yanked my arm, dropping us into grass below the slope. We held our breath, waiting. Trumpet once more, then faded. Hoofbeats faintly, then gone.
"...They're closing in."
"Yeah."
No leisure on Adelaide's face anymore.
At night, it was clearer. Torchlights dotted the dark from multiple directions. Three north, two east. Just one north the day before.
Even an idiot could see the encirclement tightening.
Thought of spreading shadows to scout. But when I checked, disappointment. Barely a handspan—that was my limit.
"...Not working?"
"Nope."
Adelaide nodded a beat late.
We both knew escape routes were shrinking, but avoided saying it. Silent pact, maybe.
Still, we didn't stop. Walked mornings, rested nights. But food grew scarce, water too.
The next afternoon, atop a hill, I looked back. Dust rose far off. Scale of galloping horses, nothing else explained it.
Adelaide followed my gaze, hand on holy sword hilt.
"...A lot."
"Gotta be. Pursuit's gone full throttle."
"If you hand me over—"
"Won't."
"...Hear me out at least."
"Won't. End of."
Adelaide quickened pace. I followed a step behind, then fell half-step beside.
Forest might help, I thought. But just hid sightlines. Direction sense blurred; feet crunched twigs constantly. Trumpets by day, beasts baying by night. Something netting in from outside the woods.
One morning—who knows what day—Adelaide was up first. Let's go before dew dries, she said.
"Adel."
"Yeah."
"Tell me a story today too."
"...Wanna hear?"
"Yeah."
Adelaide glanced at me, then started while walking. First assigned to Royal Guard, stuttered report from nerves. Zenon nearly laughed, barely held it. Post-battle drinks with subordinates; Kairin always first out. Derik always last, cleaning tables.
Not once did she blame me in those tales.
"Adel."
"What."
"...Nothing."
"You say that a lot lately. 'Nothing.'"
I ducked my head instead of answering.
Something to ask. Why so talkative? Why spill all her past? Why.
Couldn't open my mouth. Scared of the answer.
That night. Under rock shadow, leaves as roof, we leaned exhausted. Fifth day without proper food; non-stop trek out of forest.
Adelaide propped holy sword on rock, sat opposite. Moonlight half-blocked, barely outlined her.
Feet throbbed, stomach ached. Shoulders had no strength left.
"...Adel."
"What."
"We never made it to the sea."
That roadside talk. Half-joke, half-promise: let's go.
Adelaide paused.
"...Yeah."
"Would've been nice."
"...Yeah, it would've."
Would've—past tense bugged me.
"Sorry. Sorry for everything."
Subordinates. Village. Lies. Torture. Crushed things. Shattered things. All.
Adelaide drew deep breath, exhaled long.
"...I'll accept it this time."
"...For real?"
"Yeah."
Cold wind passed. Hugged shoulders, but body shivered. Not from cold—why?
"...Adel."
"What."
"Did I live well? Here."
"...Random."
"Just. Thought it was a game, killed people, played saint, even became Demon King. Fucked it all up."
"...That's for you to judge."
"What do you think, Adel?"
Long pause before Adelaide answered.
"...Can't say you lived well."
"Yeah."
"But you changed."
"...Too late."
"Better than never."
Comfort or truth? Didn't know. But her voice steady—meant she believed it.
Fatigue crashed. Eyelids heavy. But had to hold on. Something off since earlier.
That strange warmth Adelaide showed days, conclusive stories, lines sounding scripted from start.
...Can't sleep.
Dunno why, but felt like something ending, eating my mind.
"Adel."
"Sleep."
"Can't."
"Coming. Your eyes are closing."
"..."
"Sleep. I'll watch tonight."
Heard this before. Nights ago too. Slept like this then, consciousness sinking to her breaths.
Woke to her there. That certainty let me always sleep.
"...Adel."
"Yeah."
Then black.
Cold. Hands first. Something in left: metal. Thin, short. Grip fit hollow.
Reflex opened eyes: dagger. Always at Adelaide's waist.
...Why in my hand.
Gaze shifted. Adelaide against rock. Eyes closed. Lips thin-shut, head slightly tilted.
Holy sword in her chest. Gold light gone. Half-blade inside, hilt out. Clothes dark-wet.
No breath.
Mine stopped too.
Stared wordless. Didn't know what to say. Only the dagger's feel was real.
Adelaide's face serene. No pain, fine. Faint smile at lips? Maybe illusion.
Tried dropping dagger; fingers wouldn't unclench. Zenon's. Her constant companion. Dead subordinate's relic.
Left it in my hand.
...Why.
No tears. Should've, but no. Only one thing sure: never wanted this end.
Maybe knew it'd come. Everything twisted from start.
Person I couldn't kill killed herself. Hero reversed sword to save Demon King.
First meeting flashed. Knight offering self for subordinates. That's who she was from then.
Putting others first. Subordinates then; me now.
...What's different. Why me.
No answer; eyes shut.
Why she smiled days ago: to sort. Finish all, then final act.
For me—that hurt unbearable.
Her dead, pursuit pointless. No Hero for retrievers. Demon King no more—just silver-haired girl sans shadows.
All calculated?
Sat long. Thoughts rose, sank. River reflections side-by-side. Cathedral shoulder in rain. Half-fruit silently eaten. Stargazing sea promise.
Wanted all mine. Not possess—together.
Wind blew. Head cloth loosened; silver hair spilled shoulders. Her morning ritual.
No hands to tie now.
Sudden instinct: world grants one wish now. But only now; knew what, but mouth wouldn't open.
Say go back. Original world, screen-side. Time-wasting nothing-place. As someone not Ailin. Unburdened.
Just one word: return.
Only I was human.
Was.
Thought NPCs not human. Okay to kill non-humans.
Ah.
Looked at Adelaide. Closed eyes. Still lips. Reached, clasped her hand.
Mouthed quietly.
The NPC Slayer of an Unknown Game (End)