Welcome to Voluntary Enlistment
I didn't even have time to set foot in the North and rest.
Yet again, I was riding in a truck, heading toward the West.
With me were Kka-Chi, Rabelt-Chi, Hybel, my adjutant, Mogant of the Steel Teeth, and a few of his loyal guards.
"Is there anything I should know about the cat beastmen?"
Cat beastmen.
Just like the goat beastmen, they had been candidates for conscription when the Hellhound Brigade was first established, only to be rejected.
Extreme antisocial behavior.
Utter selfishness.
Sticky fingers, and a genetic predisposition to theft and lying.
Their temperaments were so disastrously unfit for military service that they had been ruled out early on.
Because of that, I knew very little about them.
"Don't even try to tame those antisocial thugs, sir," Rabelt-Chi said. "They can never be fully tamed, no matter what you do. They're selfish, light-fingered, and born with rotten personalities to match."
Everyone in the vehicle nodded at Rabelt-Chi's words.
"People call us rat beastmen dirty and antisocial, but at least we have rules and discipline, and we try to follow them. The cat beastmen have none of that. For them, having no rules is the only rule. Thorough individualists. That's what they are."
"Do we absolutely have to use them?" I asked. "Honestly, if we're trying to smuggle out the dwarves, couldn't we use the rabbits? Or the rats, or even the foxes?"
Kka-Chi shook his head at my question.
"Other beastmen are just as good at infiltration and stealth. Chik! But the cat beastmen have one absolute advantage, and that is their dexterity."
Hybel shook her head as if she were already exhausted just thinking about them.
"Lockpicking, cutting glass silently, removing hinges... their hands are ridiculously quick and nimble. They're the best for this kind of operation."
Kka-Chi grumbled.
"We rats are good at taking our time to plan meticulous operations. But for a rushed heist like this, without a proper plan, the cats are a better fit. I have to admit that much."
Indeed, from the perspective of the rat beastmen, the dwarven artisans weren't a very appealing target. It wasn't some secret they could use as blackmail; they were just craftsmen. So we had no choice but to use the cats...
The problem was whether these guys would actually listen to me.
"How do we control them? What do the cat beastmen like?"
At that, my adjutant, Hybel, Kka-Chi, and the 2nd Battalion Commander answered in unison.
"Money. And catnip."
Catnip.
The stuff commonly known as, well, catnip.
They really were just typical cats.
And if they were typical cats, then what my subordinates said made perfect sense. Cats were selfish. No matter how long you lived with them, they just saw their owners as can openers—fickle, high-maintenance creatures.
First the goat beastmen, and now I was in a position where I had to persuade another difficult bunch. But what choice did I have? I just had to do my best.
"This trip to the West is a secret. A strict secret. So we move quietly through the back alleys and slums. Hybel, you head to the entertainment districts and dig up information on the dwarven artisans."
"Understood, Major General."
"Kka-Chi, Rabelt-Chi. Go meet your long-tailed kin in the West and gather info on the dwarven artisans. The more information, the better. And check if it's possible to dig tunnels if it comes down to it."
"Chik! We will do so!"
"As ordered."
"And Adjutant, Mogant."
"Speak, sir."
"Since you two are from the West, you must know the back alleys and the western underworld well. Ask around and bring some cat beastmen to me. Only the most notorious and skilled ones. Got it?"
"Understood. We will look into it."
Mogant and my adjutant faithfully carried out my orders.
Before long, five cat beastmen appeared before me, guided by the wolf beastmen.
And they...
"We want a hundred thousand crowns, nya! If not, the moment we walk out of here, we're going to tell Duke Leonard everything you're planning, nya!"
They were exactly as the others had described. Selfish creatures who didn't look ahead or care about the consequences. Watching the snickering cat beastmen, my head began to throb.
If someone in my past life had asked me, "Do you prefer dogs or cats?" I would have answered cats. They were cute, after all.
But if you asked the current me whether I preferred cats or dogs, I would absolutely choose dogs.
Since I was the one in a hurry, I had to swallow my pride and play along.
"A hundred thousand crowns? The North doesn't have that kind of spare cash right now."
"Nyaaa! We know you squeezed a lot of money out of Duke Leonard, nya! A hundred thousand crowns! We won't budge for a copper less, nya."
"That money was taken to rebuild the North. I'm going to make the North a place where beastmen can live in peace. That includes you cat beastmen. I can give you homes under your own names in the North. So, couldn't you help me without—"
"Nyaaaa! No way, nya! Money! We need money, nya! Why would we go to the freezing, barren North? Besides, we don't like your face, nya. You're ugly as hell, nya! Kyahaha!"
"Just give us the money already, nya! If you pay, we'll do the job, nya! If you don't, we're telling Duke Leonard, nya!"
I looked at Kka-Chi and Rabelt-Chi.
But they only stared at the cat beastmen with annoyed expressions and shrugged, as if to say there was nothing they could do.
Their gestures made it clear: to rescue the dwarven artisans, we absolutely needed the cat beastmen on the ground.
In the end, swallowing my anger, I nodded.
"Fine, I'll pay the hundred thousand crowns. If I give you the money, you'll help me, right?"
"Haha! Of course we will, nya!"
"Quickly! Give it to us in cash, nya!"
At the purring words of the cat beastmen, I sighed and reluctantly pulled out a stack of bills worth a hundred thousand crowns.
"Here. The money. In return, promise me. Keep this operation a secret, and carry out your duties faithfully..."
"Money!"
Their speed was incredible. In a flash, with a speed so ridiculous that even I, battle-hardened as I was, could barely track it, the cat beastmen snatched the stack of bills.
Veins popped on the foreheads of my adjutant and Mogant as they glared at the cats greedily counting the money, but I raised a hand to stop them.
"You must carry out the mission faithfully. Understood? If you succeed, I will give you a success bonus and extra catnip..."
"Yeah, yeah, we get it, nya! Just call us when you have a plan, nya!"
"We're going to go have some fun with this money, nya! Kyahaha!"
"We're leaving now, nya!"
As the cat beastmen giggled and prepared to stand up, I quickly called out to stop them.
I held back my anger until the very last moment.
I knew the plight of the beastmen. I knew what kind of environment they grew up in, and what kind of societal prejudice they faced. That was why I intended to speak to them as gently as possible.
"Wait, don't leave yet. Hold on, cat beastmen. This mission is extremely important for the North, and for all beastmen. I need a firm commitment from you. Promise me you will do this job properly. This is a very important matter for us—"
"Ah, shut up, nya! We said we'd do it, so stop nagging, nya!"
"Honestly, we couldn't care less about the North or the beastmen, nya!"
"We just need enough money to get by day to day, some booze, and catnip, nya! So stop annoying us, nya!"
"Whether the North falls or not has nothing to do with us—"
My adjutant, who had been glaring at the screeching cat beastmen, suddenly widened his eyes.
"You piece of shit bastards!"
My adjutant roared sharply, lunging forward with incredible speed to snatch something from the cat beastman's pocket.
"W-what do you think you're doing—"
"Major General! Your insignia! They pickpocketed your insignia, these bastards!"
Hybel held up the iron insignia of the Hellhounds.
When on earth did they...? I quickly glanced down at my sleeve. One of my insignia was indeed gone.
And in that moment, my patience finally ran out. I could almost hear the snap of my last thread of reason.
I had enough stress to deal with lately. The beastman civil rights bill hadn't passed, and it still wasn't passing.
The North? The original female and male leads were dead, and the state of the North was far from normal, to put it mildly.
I had to resort to brinkmanship, putting my own life and the lives of my subordinates on the line just to squeeze funds out of the Grand Dukes of the West, South, and East.
And just when I thought I had finally gotten things moving, I was short on manpower again, forcing me to come all the way to the West to deal with this shit.
And these uneducated little stray cats dared to bare their fangs at me?
I slowly stood up from my seat.
Sensing danger, the cat beastmen scrambled to escape the room, but my telekinetic magic was faster, binding them in place.
"Adjutant. Mogant. Take the others and get out of the room. Lock the door from the outside, and make sure no one can leave."
Without a word, the wolf beastmen quickly obeyed my command, exiting the room and locking the door securely behind them.
It seemed I needed to establish a pecking order with these cats.
In my past life, I had seen forum posts about establishing dominance over cats. They talked about curing a biting cat's bad habits by hitting them with toy squeaky hammers and spraying them with vinegar. Today, you guys are going to get a taste of that. Got it?
"W-what is this? Why are you closing the door... Open it, nya!"
"L-let go of me, nya!"
The cat beastmen shrieked and struggled, but they shut up on their own when I quietly increased the output of my telekinesis. They must have felt the crushing pressure, as if their bodies were about to burst.
"Starting today, the five of you are members of the Hellhound Brigade."
At my quiet voice, the cat beastmen began to hiss.
"We never wanted this, nya! When did we ever say we'd join the—nyaaaak!"
The screaming cat beastman was hurled across the room, crashing hard into the sofa in the corner.
Of course, this was just WWE. My brigade members, who had seen my telekinesis when I actually intended to kill, would have easily recognized this as a mere show of force to scare them. But to these cats who had never experienced my power, it must have felt like a full-blown UFC fight.
Watching their companion roll on the floor, gasping for breath from the impact, the remaining four cat beastmen instantly shut their mouths.
"Now that you're in the brigade, let me teach you a few rules. First: stop ending your sentences with nya."
"Like we said, we never agreed to join the—nyaaaak!"
Another one was flung onto the sofa. Although the cushions absorbed most of the impact, the collision was loud enough to make the entire room rattle.
The remaining three cat beastmen began to tremble violently.
"Second: when you address me, you call me Major General. Understood?"
"D-do you think this will make us do what you want? We'll never do it, nya! We'll make you regret treating us like—nyaaaak!"
Another one down. Seeing their companions rolling on the floor and coughing, unable to breathe properly from the shock, the remaining two kitties finally corrected their tone.
"P-please spare us."
"We'll do whatever you say, Major General."
"Third: do not talk back to my orders, and do not interrupt me when I'm speaking. Do you understand?"
The cat beastmen nodded.
I sat them down on the sofa. After patting the backs of the coughing, breathless ones to help them calm down, I stepped right up to them and shoved my strategic-weapon-grade ugly face right in front of theirs.
The cat beastmen flinched.
"All of you. Hands out."
The cat beastmen didn't dare resist. As they timidly held out their hands, I imprinted my Messenger magic onto the backs of their hands.
"With this magic, you will be able to receive my thoughts and intentions. I will use this to assist you when we extract the dwarven artisans. One thing you must keep in mind is that you must follow my orders to the letter. No rash actions, no acting on your own. Understood?"
"Haaak! No, nya! Don't carve this into my body—nyaaaaak!"
The cat who had attached nya to the end of his sentence was hoisted into the air and rapidly bounced up and down twenty times.
"Bleeegh."
After he violently threw up his recent meal and passed out, I dragged him over. I gathered mana at the tip of my finger and shoved it into the ear canal on top of his head. The unconscious cat jolted awake with a scream.
"What did I say about your tone? Would you like my finger to go back inside your ear?"
A polite, respectful tone immediately spilled from his mouth.
"I'm sorry, Major General. I will be careful from now on."
Seeing the cat beastman bow his head in sheer terror, I smirked.
"I don't plan on keeping you bound by force forever. Once this job is done, I'll erase the brand on your bodies and give you plenty of money and catnip. But don't think about running away. As long as you have that brand, I can track your location no matter how far you run. So don't even dream of it. Got it?"
"Understood."
"You can try to run, but if you get caught afterward, I'm going to make it hurt. I know exactly where and how to hurt beastmen. So let's end this on good terms. You want your freedom back quickly, right? I want to let you go quickly, too. Just do your job well until we get the dwarven artisans back. Got it?"
"Yes, sir!"
The five cat beastmen nodded respectfully.
You picked the wrong guy to mess with. Do you think you're the first beastmen to try and rebel against me while I've been commanding the Hellhound Brigade? And the reason they're all so obedient now? It's because I beat them all into submission to establish the hierarchy.
I patted the cat beastmen on their heads.
"Welcome to voluntary enlistment, recruits. Let's work hard so you can get discharged."
I had secured the operatives. Now, all that was left was to formulate a plan based on the information the rat and rabbit beastmen would bring back.