Let's Stage a Coup, Fuck
Holy shit. So this whole damn world was straight out of a romance fantasy novel?
Obviously a guy like me never had any interest in reading that kind of stuff. So how do I remember Miliela’s face so clearly? Simple.
“Oppa! Just read it once, I’m begging you! If you miss this you’ve basically wasted half your life!”
“Bullshit. Why the hell would I read some girly novel you chicks are obsessed with? Like it’s gonna make my dick fall off.”
“You watch Japanese comics full of big-eyed girls all the time!”
“That’s completely different. Stop talking nonsense and get out. I’m busy.”
“Look, you like this art style, don’t you?”
That’s how it went. I had zero intention of reading a romance fantasy, but the webtoon my sister shoved in my face had an art style that hit my tastes dead center.
“It’s better than I expected.”
“Right? The drawings are gorgeous too, huh?”
“But what the hell is this world-building? If all the nobles are gathered in the capital, who’s managing their territories?”
“Who cares about that?! Pay attention to the character relationships already!”
In other words, the very last webtoon I read before getting dumped into this frozen northern hell was my little sister’s favorite romance fantasy.
Wait a second… now that I think about it, a lot of things are starting to make sense.
Cedric’s face, which looked nothing like a realistic northern grand duke, was one thing. But there were several odd details I’d never properly examined before. Like the northern social party held once a year.
Our budget’s already tight as hell, yet Father always spoke about the party budget like it was an absolute necessity.
Not just Father—the financial officer and other vassals never once complained about that particular expense. These were the same people who nitpicked every single supply item for the soldiers.
And then there was our family’s title. Father spent his whole life complaining about budget shortages, clutching the back of his neck and cursing how “the imperial family cut our subsidies again,” yet our house held the rank of grand duke—second only to the imperial family itself.
Realistically, a watchdog guarding a barren frontier should have been a margrave at most. So why the highest possible title?
Because the male lead of a romance fantasy had to be the Grand Duke of the North. It was an unwritten rule of the genre.
A high title let him go to the capital later, grab the crown prince by the collar, and pull crap like “I’ll give you half the empire, so stay by my side.”
And the decisive part—the subjugation of the Frost Giants that killed Father last winter. The Heiden family’s knights had generations of experience hunting those things.
Yet that day the tactics went to hell and the Frost Giants were abnormally strong. I’d shed tears of blood thinking it was just terrible luck. But now I saw the truth.
They killed off the father-in-law before the heroine even appeared! To make room for a young, tragic Grand Duke of the North!
A chill ran down my spine. This world wasn’t the brutal low-power survival story I’d believed it was. It was a disgustingly contrived setting built entirely for someone’s romance, where supporting characters were treated like disposable props.
“Lord Cedric, the snowflakes here are like jewels. You must be so happy to greet every morning in a place like this!”
Miliela lightly clutched Cedric’s arm while spouting that terrifying nonsense. Beside her, that brainless Cedric—who had dumped every single duty on me for three months while he played around in the capital—gazed down at her with an expression that said he owned the whole world.
Jewels my ass. Because of that damn snow dust, two of our soldiers had their toes amputated from frostbite just last week, you psychotic bitch.
I was glaring at the pair with a face like I’d bitten into shit when Miliela suddenly turned and looked straight at me.
“And who might you be? Could you perhaps be Sir Karl, the knight commander?”
What the hell was this situation? Why was she mixing me up with the middle-aged knight commander?
“Haa. The Cedric route really is the most delicious.”
The protagonist of the romance fantasy novel I Became Happy After Reincarnating as a Villainess—Miliela—was, surprisingly, not the original Miliela at all.
“A lonely northern grand duke who lost his father at a young age and now bears the weight of the north. This obvious, classic flavor never gets old.”
She was the luckiest woman in the world, waking up inside the body of her favorite romance fantasy heroine.
“The first meeting between the heroine and Cedric was definitely at a social party held to comfort the new Grand Duke of the North, right?”
If she had to pick the most thrilling moment after possessing the heroine, it would be her first encounters with the original male leads.
“That feeling when your eyes meet. The lightning that strikes inside your head. It’s truly the best. So electrifying.”
Honestly, she hadn’t really understood it when she was just reading. That sensation of a man and woman falling in love the instant their eyes met. In that sense, this world had clearly been created just for her.
Even when she first met Cedric at the social party, the world had fulfilled her expectations without fail.
“The night wind is cold. Why are you out here?”
“…I was born and raised in the north. The night air of the capital is no different from a midsummer breeze back home.”
When she recited the heroine’s original lines, this juicy reaction came right on cue. The actual lines didn’t even matter.
I never felt anything like this when I was just reading the original. Hehe.
The way Cedric’s eyes had seemed to burn the moment she spoke to him. There was no need to question it. Cedric had fallen in love with her the instant he saw her.
How could he fall in love without her even saying a word? Because she was the heroine, obviously. It was truly thrilling. So fresh. Every time felt new.
“I really am insanely pretty. Ahh, so this is what the life of a beautiful woman is like.”
No, the reason this romance fantasy world was beautiful wasn’t just because she was pretty.
“You’re saying this life is hard? Is Miliela crazy?”
Maids brought breakfast to her room the moment she woke up. If she wanted tea, they instantly prepared an afternoon tea set that would only appear in a five-star hotel. The desserts were perfectly sweet, and every single meal was on the level of a Michelin-star restaurant.
To complain that such a life was difficult while enjoying luxuries only billionaires could dream of in the modern world? Clearly the original Miliela hadn’t deserved to be the heroine. She was much more suited for the role.
“Lord Cedric, I’d love to see the north where you grew up.”
“I understand. I shall formally invite you, Miliela, to the Grand Duchy.”
The carriage journey was far more enjoyable than expected. How should she describe it? It felt like enjoying first-class camping without lifting a single finger. Though it was called a carriage, it was basically a moving luxury suite.
The floor was lined with the softest premium furs, and magic inscriptions maintained the perfect temperature inside twenty-four hours a day. She didn’t even feel any shaking. Cedric had ordered the knights to clear every single pebble on the route so her mood wouldn’t be disturbed.
“Miliela, I’m not sure if it will suit your taste. These are winter strawberries that only grow in the north.”
Cedric brought a perfectly ripe strawberry to her lips with his pale fingers. Outside the window, a flesh-cutting blizzard raged, but inside the carriage it was filled with the sweet scent of strawberries and the warmth radiating from Cedric.
“Aah—”
When she pretended to eat it, the corners of Cedric’s eyes curved gently. Yes! This was exactly it! Being fed strawberries by a sculpted handsome man like this—an experience you couldn’t buy with money.
“Thanks to you, Lord Cedric, I’m not struggling at all. The snowy landscape outside is so unreal it feels like I’m dreaming.”
At her words, Cedric kissed the back of her hand as if deeply moved.
“I’m glad you’re happy. The road to the north is notoriously harsh, but I wanted to show you only the most beautiful path in the world.”
Just look at that line. These cringey lines became famous quotes purely because of his face value. Sometimes when she cracked the window open, she could see the escorting knights completely covered in snow, shivering violently.
But so what? Weren’t they paid to do exactly that? Even the sight of those burly, muscular men carving a path through the snow made for a perfect romantic background.
“Whoa…”
The castle of the Heiden Grand Duchy that finally appeared was far more majestic than she’d imagined. An ancient fortress built atop a massive wall of ice. Although the cold in the air stung her nose, the soft coat Cedric had draped over her made it perfectly bearable.
Among the vassals who came out to greet Cedric, one person stood out strangely.
Huh? Was there a character like this in the original?
A man standing among the knights who had come to welcome Cedric. He was slightly taller than Cedric, who was already around 185 centimeters, and had an even more solidly built upper body. On top of that, his hair was pure white—like an idol who’d gone overboard with bleach.
Hmm… with a face like that, he’s actually quite handsome. I thought all the northern knights were just bear-like middle-aged men.
Well, compared to the sculpted icy beauty that was Cedric he was just a normal handsome guy, but still. A person can’t live on rice alone. Side dishes are there to be eaten too.
Who else appeared in the northern grand duchy besides Cedric? Oh! Is this man the knight commander Karl?
The only named character in the northern grand duchy besides Cedric was the knight commander, Karl or whatever his name was. So this must be the loyal right-hand man described in the original—Karl.
“And who might you be? Could you perhaps be Sir Karl, the knight commander?”
She asked with the most benevolent, heroine-like smile she could muster. But the man’s expression after hearing her question was strange. The corner of his mouth was trembling. He looked incredibly angry for some reason.
Oh my, how scary. I heard northern men were rough, but he really has no manners at all.
No matter how you looked at it, he was still Cedric’s subordinate. How dare a lowly thing glare like that? She leaned deeper into Cedric’s arm and gave the rude knight commander a bright smile.
Right then, Cedric looked at the man and spoke.
“I’m back. Edrick, were there any special incidents while I was gone?”
“Nothing special. It’s the same shit every single day. Except for the part where someone left his post for three whole months and worked me and all the knights half to death.”
Edrick? That was weird. She was pretty sure there was no character by that name in the original.
When she sent Cedric a look demanding an explanation, he introduced the rude bastard.
“This is my brother, Edrick. He’s been acting as grand duke in my absence.”
“Aha…! No wonder I thought he looked just like you, Lord Cedric. What an excellent knight.”
Cedric had a younger brother? Hmm… so that’s why he was acting so rude? A rebellious younger brother character wasn’t bad at all.
Come to think of it, the only male lead archetype that didn’t appear in I Became Happy After Reincarnating as a Villainess was the defiant younger guy, right?
Is he a hidden new male lead I didn’t know about? His face is a bit lacking compared to the others, but a secret route is still good.
If that was the case, he would fall madly for her the moment she gave him the slightest temptation. After all, every man in this world was destined to love her.
For today, she would fully enjoy the event with Cedric first.
“Miliela. Let’s go inside. You’re too delicate to endure the cold northern wind.”
“Thank you, Cedric. Will you escort me?”
She took Cedric’s hand and walked gracefully toward the castle.
“…What the actual fuck is this bullshit.”
The hidden character’s tsundere line from behind was so delicious she could barely stand it.
…For some reason his way of speaking sounded exactly like her older brother from her previous life who used to look at her with contempt for reading romance fantasy. Must be her imagination.
After watching those insane lovebirds film their romance, I summoned Uncle Karl to my room and declared.
“Let’s stage a coup. Fuck.”