Jang Su-young
I turned on the navigation and sped back to Seoul.
Near Jang Su-young’s home, we found a stylish host bar with a tastefully modern interior.
“I had no idea there was a place like this so close to home,” I said, taking in the lively atmosphere.
Since I rarely had time to let loose, I didn’t know much about the bars around my neighborhood.
“Well, now that I know, it’s no big deal.”
Kim Namhu ordered a light snack and a beer without much thought.
I looked around the room. As expected for a bar women enjoyed, it was packed with couples.
They were all trying their best to flirt with each other.
Between those couples, Kim Namhu and I stood out as the odd ones out.
We were neither friends nor lovers, yet we were enjoying this moment to the fullest.
We chatted comfortably, like good friends.
And there was that familiar tension of two people who used to be more than friends.
Kim Namhu asked about my life plans.
“After you graduate from medical school and become a doctor, do you have any idea what you’ll do next?”
“I don’t have anything specific in mind. Just having a medical license should let me work anywhere, and I won’t have to worry about money. That’s why I chose this path.”
Jang Su-young then asked me a question.
“What about you, Namhu? What are your life plans? Are you planning to stay a host forever?”
“Of course.”
“Marriage or romance? Do you ever want kids?”
“I do want kids someday. But romance or marriage… not really.”
“What kind of thing is that? You can have kids without dating or getting married.”
“Eventually, there might be other ways to do it.”
Even now, Hollywood used surrogates all the time.
Actresses paid young women to carry their babies so they wouldn’t damage their health or bodies.
In Korea, too, couples who struggled with pregnancy often hired overseas surrogates.
A Korean female celebrity once donated sperm when she knew she would have trouble getting married later and became a single mother.
A European soccer player also didn’t marry and used a surrogate to have a child.
In the end, making a baby isn’t about love. It’s a money problem.
Some problems money can’t solve.
But most of them, money can fix.
Pregnancy and childbirth are one of those problems money can solve.
“Why is that? Don’t babies need a mother?”
“No. There are plenty of single dads raising wonderful kids these days.”
I had learned how difficult it was to live with someone else while matching their way of life.
Even my own parents managed to get by while adjusting to each other, but little things would spark fights.
I didn’t want to go through that process.
If I earned enough money, I could hire a babysitter to act as a mother during my own time.
I could raise a child my own way, without interference.
If I needed professional advice, I could just find a child-rearing expert.
In the end, living together as a man and woman usually ended up being more about emotion than logic, and most households ended with the man losing.
If money could solve it, I didn’t want to deal with that.
I knew my own thoughts on this could cause controversy.
And I didn’t want to argue with Jang Su-young.
“Different thoughts are fine. There’s nothing to do right now. Why force a fight?”
All I wanted was to spend good time with her.
And Jang Su-young showed a trace of disappointment in my words.
*Could it be…*
Kim Namhu knew Jang Su-young was a smart woman.
She had planned and executed her own life because she didn’t want to live like her mother.
The way she looked now seemed like she had been expecting something.
“I’m not sure if I’m thinking too weirdly, but us… it probably won’t work out.”
“Why not?”
There were all kinds of women in the world.
Some enjoyed the host bar scene, while others didn’t.
Jang Su-young was one who didn’t.
She was the type who would feel negative about a host who played with other women even if she found one she liked.
I had no intention of quitting the host profession, and she couldn’t see a host as either a lover or husband.
“You know that, Su-young. You’re so smart.”
She was indeed smart.
She could be shaken emotionally and make a strange choice for a moment, but if someone else advised her, she had the head to quickly realize her mistake and correct it.
To lighten the heavy atmosphere, she laughed brightly.
“I think I can guess why Mom said I should play with Namhu.”
“Really?”
“Even the smartest person can get lonely or shaken. And after making a mistake, they might refuse to admit it was wrong and still think they’re smart. So maybe she thought I should play with you before any problem with men arises.”
“Sounds like a vaccination shot.”
“Exactly.”
We both laughed loudly.
Jang Su-young said, “Mom and I are similar in a lot of ways. But this part doesn’t seem to match.”
“What part?”
When I looked at the two of them, the mother and daughter had a lot in common.
Pretty looks, sharp minds, and strong hearts.
“Mom doesn’t get obsessed with Namhu. She just enjoys casual play. I can’t do that. I get attached after playing and want to chase. Even though we’re nothing more than that.”
“I don’t know. Young Sun-young might have felt the same back then. Meeting all kinds of men might have developed that ability.”
“Yeah. Maybe she fell in love when young and made me.”
Jang Su-young thought for a moment and said, “All dramas, movies, and novels say the same thing. Love is the best. Nothing is more precious than love.”
“That’s true.”
That’s how media brainwashed people.
“But looking at Mom and Namhu, it doesn’t seem like that’s the only way. Maybe people can live well without love.”
“You don’t have to think so extremely.”
“Huh?”
“I like love. I’ve loved before.”
Not in this life, but in my previous one, I had fallen in love.
I had felt joy in love and the pain of having my heart torn out by it.
“Love is good. But it’s not the greatest thing in the world. The goodness of love probably differs for each person. In the end, love isn’t the best thing in the world. There might be something better than love. So don’t overvalue it or undervalue it. I think that way.”
“Wow.”
Jang Su-young’s eyes widened as she looked at me.
“You’re not even ten years older than me. You feel like someone who’s lived for decades. Ah! I’m not saying it badly.”
I smiled as if it was fine.
And Jang Su-young said, “But that’s a big deal.”
“What is it?”
“I need the vaccination shot. You haven’t given me the full one yet.”
“What did I miss?”
We had been dating like lovers, exchanging calls and dates.
We had gone to fancy restaurants, shared drinks, taken walks, and driven around.
We had pretty much done everything a couple could do.
“It’s just like a summer fling.”
“So what do you want to do?”
“Should we date? Only until the end of this vacation.”
It was the kind of contract romance you see in countless movies and dramas.
“I’ll call you oppa. Don’t call me Namhu Oppa. We’re in our early twenties. Calling each other honorifics the whole time feels weird.”
I looked at Jang Su-young and asked, “Will it be okay? If you just get shaken for a moment by me, fine. But if you really fall hard, there might be no way back.”
It was sincere.
Men and women who got hooked were hopeless.
There were many who gave away all their assets and even went into debt for someone.
There were also people who couldn’t pull themselves together even after their entire life collapsed.
“If you were the type to fall for Namhu Oppa, you would have already dumped me and moved on, right? And if you were the type, even if we dated for a while, you might fall for some other weird guy and ruin your life.”
She tilted her head and asked, “Or do I lack appeal? I told you before, I’m popular at school too. Or maybe you’ll have a problem because you’re falling for me?”
“That’s not it… but will it be okay? Even if we date, I won’t quit being a host.”
I had enough money to support a family.
But if I quit being a host for even one of these little things, it felt like I would never be able to quit being a host for the rest of my life.
Playing with her was fun, but I didn’t want to give up my lifelong dream for her.
“That can’t be helped. I’ll have to endure it. But it’s not forever, so it should be fine, right?”
Jang Su-young then poured me a full glass of soju.
“Drink this. Then we’re dating for a little while.”
I hesitated for a moment and picked up the soju glass.
I downed it in one gulp.