Chapter 38
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Translator: Ebonarch
Chapter: 38
Chapter Title: Noona's Confession - The Truth is, I'm 2
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"Why'd you stop? Keep playing."
I thought I was being nice, but Sun-hu was just trembling all over.
Is my smile not good enough? I'm trying hard to smile here.
"S-sorry, I didn't know you were there, Noona... I'll stop now."
Sun-hu reaches to close the piano lid.
"I said keep playing?"
I stop him and flip the lid open again.
"...Okay."
Sun-hu sits back down at the piano with a reluctant look on his face.
What the hell. It's like I'm asking him to do something unforgivable.
I shot him a glare without hiding my irritation, and Sun-hu shivers violently as he starts playing again.
But this performance was a complete disaster.
Just like when we were kids—no, even worse.
That ridiculous playing overlapped with my score from today, which was worse than my elementary school days, and my anger exploded.
"Hey! Jin Sun-hu!"
I slam my fist down on the piano keys.
Bang!
Sun-hu flinches in shock at the loud noise and curls up.
That pathetic sight just fueled my rage even more.
"What the hell are you doing? Is that really the best you can do? Or do you just not wanna play in front of me?"
"N-no, sorry, I'm sorry, Noona..."
"Who said to apologize? I'm asking why you suck so bad!"
Bang! Bang!
Every time I pounded my fist, Sun-hu shrank back further.
"Play it again. Properly this time. If it's still a mess, you're in for it."
Under my threat, Sun-hu hesitantly places his hands on the keys, trembling, but he can't bring himself to strike them.
"...Sorry, Noona. I... I can't play."
Sun-hu chokes out the words, on the verge of tears.
A quick glance shows his fingers shaking uncontrollably.
"Can't play? That's it? Think a few tears will get you off the hook? That only works on Mom!"
I unleash all the pent-up frustration on Sun-hu.
It's meant for him, but it's also for myself—the one who bombed her performance, forfeited, and ran away.
I know it's unfair nitpicking. I know Sun-hu's not in a normal state of mind.
What I'm doing right now is just blowing off steam.
But I'm just as unstable.
I'm not mature enough to keep my emotions in check.
"What are you waiting for! Play already!"
Bang. Bang. Bang. Bang.
I stand beside Sun-hu and keep slamming the piano.
I intend to do it until he plays again.
"Noona, I'm sorry. I won't play piano anymore. Please stop..."
Sun-hu grabs my arm, sobbing.
What? I told him to play—why's he saying he won't? Does he wanna defy me that much?
Suddenly, I notice my hand in his grip.
The fist I'd slammed down over and over was torn open and bleeding.
The keys and my hand were both stained red.
The sharp pain hit me belatedly.
"...You. Never touch a piano again. If I so much as hear a note around me one more time, I'll chop off your fingers. Got it?"
That wasn't what I meant to say.
I'm a dishonest kid. And that day, everything was a mess.
All I wanted was to hear more.
I could've just said I wanted to hear him play.
"You idiot. If you're a guy, at least stand up for yourself once."
I blame the innocent Sun-hu and bury my face in my bedroom pillow.
"Noona. Stand up straight."
Sun-hu's voice was low and frightening.
I trembled as I gripped the piano and stood the way he ordered.
"Lift your skirt and stick out your butt."
Sun-hu was holding a golf club.
A 7-iron. The exact one I'd screwed up with so many times today.
Sun-hu, what are you planning to do with that?
I try to speak, but my mouth just flops open and closed—no words come out.
"You know what you did wrong, right, Noona?"
What? Is it because I yelled at you earlier?
I'm sorry. I won't do it again.
Please stop.
"No. Think crying makes everything okay?"
That's right. I was crying.
I couldn't even remember the last time I'd cried.
Why am I crying? What's so sad?
"Noona. Bite down on this."
Before I knew it, I'd hiked up my skirt and was sticking my butt out in front of Sun-hu.
Sun-hu swings the club.
Whoosh.
The sound of it slicing through the air.
Thwack!
And that was the sound of it hitting my butt.
Aaaah!
It hurts!
It hurt so bad I wanted to scream, but no sound came out.
I just gaped my mouth uselessly.
"Noona, does it hurt?"
It hurts! It hurts like I'm dying!
My butt feels like it's exploded!
"Still no. Not enough. Let's do more."
Sun-hu swings with a calm expression.
Swish.
Thwack!
I collapse to the floor clutching my butt.
I'm dying. I'm gonna die.
Please stop hitting me.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
"Who said to apologize? Stand up straight, Noona."
I can't disobey Sun-hu.
If I do, I'll get hit more.
In my imagination, Sun-hu has the right to beat me until he's satisfied.
"Alright. That's three."
Swish.
Thwack!
My legs wobble.
I can't stand anymore. My knees buckle.
"Par 4 hole—that's 1 under. You shot 10 over, so 11 more to go."
11 more?!
No. I'll really die.
Please forgive me.
"Noona. Wanna stop getting hit?"
Yes. Please stop. It hurts too much. I'm gonna die.
"Have you reflected?"
Yes. I won't do it again.
I'm sorry. It was my fault.
"Then fuck me instead."
......
"Don't wanna? Keep going with the 11 then?"
No. No.
Sex... I'll do it. Let me have sex.
"Got it. I'll forgive you special this time?"
Yes... Thank you.
For fucking me.
Sun-hu grins cruelly as he yanks down my panties.
Then he strokes my swollen butt.
It hurts. It definitely hurts, but it felt strangely good too.
What? What's wrong with my body?
Wherever Sun-hu's hand touched, the pain vanished, leaving only pleasure.
"Noona's such a pervert. Want me to hit you more?"
Sun-hu says, sounding exasperated.
No. I don't want the pain anymore.
But... the stroking feels kinda good.
"Yeah? If that's what you want, I'll grope you all you like."
Sun-hu roughly kneads my butt.
Ahh, not so hard...
It hurt at first, but it started feeling good bit by bit.
Ahh...
Feels good.
The pain's gone, just sharp tingles left.
Sun-hu then strips off his pants.
Out comes a monstrous cock, thick as my forearm.
No way! That's supposed to go inside me?
It was like that black porn star's I'd seen in some Western video once.
Sun-hu had a small face and body, but that thing was grotesquely huge.
"Come on, Noona. I'll fuck you, so stand straight."
No. Scary. That won't fit.
I shake my hips no, but Sun-hu forces me back up.
And then Sun-hu...
"Hah!?"
When I opened my eyes, the room was pitch black.
It was 8 p.m.
Still half-asleep, I reflexively reached down to touch my butt.
It didn't hurt. Wasn't swollen.
Phew.
What a relief. Just a dream after all.
Of course. That coward Sun-hu could never...
"Ah!"
My panties were soaked.
Drenched like I'd peed myself.
"What the..."
I pull off my panties to check.
No way I'd wet the bed at my age?
But it wasn't that.
Sticky, viscous fluid.
The stuff that comes out when I have dirty thoughts.
But this much... and while I was asleep?
I recall the final scene right before waking from the dream.
I was being forcibly raped by Sun-hu.
I woke up just before it happened, but...
"Ah~!"
I buried my face in the pillow and writhed in agony.
So embarrassing. Humiliating. I wanna die. Someone just kill me.
Not only did I dream about my little brother like that, but I got this turned on.
And the afterglow was still there.
My thighs felt itchy and restless.
"Ugh..."
I shouldn't.
Jin So-young. Snap out of it. He's your brother.
The last shred of reason holds me back.
But it's too frail—it snaps in an instant.
"Ah... No, Sun-hu. I'm your Noona..."
I lay sprawled on the bed, utterly spent.
In the end, I did it. While thinking of Sun-hu.
I masturbated to the fantasy of being raped by my little brother.
A dream has an excuse at least. It wasn't on purpose.
But masturbation? That's all me.
"Ugh."
The self-loathing is overwhelming.
I disgust myself. No better than an animal.
How am I any different from those sleazy guys leering at me?
...Now that I think about it, Sun-hu did that too.
I remember him sneaking glances at me over dinner.
"What's so great about these anyway."
I grope my breasts.
Heavy, annoying things.
I wish I didn't have them. Wish I'd been born a guy.
I've thought that more times than I can count.
But...
"...If I asked nicely, he might touch them. Just a little."
I picture the forceful Sun-hu from my dream.
But the real Sun-hu is a timid little wimp.
Dreams are just dreams. Nothing like that will ever happen.
But if it's just in my head...
"Ah... No, Sun-hu..."
Minutes after regretting it, I masturbated again.
Thinking of Sun-hu.
I'm an animal.
The next day.
I went around bowing my head to the association officials and sponsors.
Normally I'd send the gay caddy in my place, but today I did it myself. I even apologized to the gay caddy for yesterday.
I've grown a step.
"If it hurt, can't be helped. It's healing now, right?"
"No kidding. Wasn't like you at all."
"Lunch together at least..."
With the wrist pain excuse from yesterday and my hand wrapped in bandages, no one suspected I was faking.
Mom came home late last night and caught me with the injured hand, dragging me to the ER.
It was just a scrape with some blood, but she made a huge fuss like it was life-threatening. Sun-hu kept his head down like he was the criminal.
I was too embarrassed to even look at him properly. I'd gotten all self-conscious after masturbating to him so many times. And he has no clue.
Thanks to blowing off all that frustration the night before, the disaster of a tournament had flown right out of my head.
I'd thought my world was ending over one ruined event, but really, it was nothing in the grand scheme.
It's just a game of hitting a ball, right? One tournament out of dozens, hundreds more to come?
Sponsors too. They use me as their billboard because they want to—no need for me to stress.
Once I let it go, my mood lightened right up.
My scores shot straight up. Felt like when I was a kid, just happily smacking balls around.
Even the gruff gay caddy and stingy pro coach showered me with praise.
I'm a kid who grows stronger by feeding on failure!
I felt like a manga protagonist, soaring high.
But that happy buzz didn't last long.
A few days later, Mom told me Sun-hu had been disqualified from the piano competition he'd prepared so long for—didn't even touch the keys.