Chapter 27
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Translator: Ebonarch
Chapter: 27
Chapter Title: Mom's Agony - Son's First Overnight Stay
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Ever since my relationship with my son Sun-hu had twisted into something forbidden, I'd been wrestling with endless worries.
After much deliberation, I came to one clear conclusion: this couldn't go on.
The bond between Sun-hu and me was something the world could never accept.
If it ever got out, my name, Im Shin-hye, would make it front-page news. Even if it was just Mi-so or So-young finding out— the people closest to me— it would shatter our entire family.
Sun-hu's spirit was far too fragile to endure that kind of pain.
So I had to end it right then and there. It was obvious we'd all meet our doom together if things continued like this.
When my junior actress Hwang Soo-ah offered to counsel me, I saw it as a golden opportunity.
She was young and radiant in ways I could never be.
From the one project we'd done together, I'd seen her character and demeanor up close— not a single flaw anywhere. As a mother, if I could, I'd pair her perfectly with Sun-hu.
So I arranged a meeting without telling him. He might get mad, but once they met, his heart would change. Hwang Soo-ah was one of the most beautiful girls in all of Korea, after all.
Sun-hu was flustered at first, just as I'd expected, but he adapted quickly. Even with someone he'd just met, he was chatting casually with her and shaking her hand like it was nothing.
Watching him like that made my chest ache for some reason.
It meant his condition was improving that much. I should have been thrilled, but seeing Sun-hu gradually pulling away from my embrace left me feeling strangely forlorn.
This must be what they mean by a perfect match. Objectively speaking, the two of them looked incredible together.
Sun-hu might seem lacking since he was still young and hadn't accomplished much yet, but if he could fill that unique void young actresses often have, they had real potential as a couple.
I planned to step back once I'd bridged the gap between them with some light conversation. Things went just as I'd hoped at first— they grew close easily, and Hwang Soo-ah even seemed to cling to him, like she'd found something special in Sun-hu.
Yes... just as I'd planned from the start...
So why did my heart grow heavier with every passing moment?
I couldn't bring myself to rejoice at my child leaving the nest.
Deep down, I wanted Sun-hu to stay in my arms forever. I wished he'd remain that helpless son who couldn't do anything on his own without his mom.
But that was just my selfishness. If I truly loved him as a mother should, I had to let him go— cheer him on as he flapped his wings to fly solo.
Yet I couldn't do it.
"Mom can head back alone. You young folks talk it over~."
Those words slipped out because I couldn't bear to watch another woman nestle into Sun-hu's arms.
I knew it would put him in an awkward spot. And I knew he'd prioritize me over Hwang Soo-ah and come chasing after.
It was a cowardly move. I'd prepared Hwang Soo-ah to push Sun-hu away from me, only to find I couldn't stomach watching them grow close.
In the end, he left her behind and followed me. A tiny spark of superiority bloomed in my chest.
"My boy, you still only come running to Mom in times like these. I'm grateful you think of me, but aren't you at the age to start standing on your own two feet away from Mom?"
As I hinted at rejection, Sun-hu showed defiance for the first time.
Every little action of his filled my heart with warmth.
Ah... I really don't want to let him go. Why is the fruit of sin so irresistibly sweet?
He swept me into his arms and laid me on the bed. The sharp glint in his eyes as he looked down at me sent shivers through me.
What was he thinking? Fear, anticipation, worry— my mind was a tangled mess.
"Sun-hu... we can't do this..."
It was an empty refusal. If he demanded it right now, could I really say no?
In that brief moment facing him so closely, countless thoughts raced through my head.
"Mom. I love you."
His pure, unadorned confession pierced straight to my heart.
I wanted to pull him into my arms right then. To whisper that I felt the same, that I loved him too.
But I'd been the one to decide we'd grow apart. For Sun-hu's sake. To protect our family.
I'd made the choice any mother would have to.
Sun-hu left. Back to Soo-ah, whom I'd momentarily forgotten about.
I was the one who'd introduced her to him. The one who'd nudged them together.
And yet here I was, drowning in regret too late.
Hwang Soo-ah. A girl with the youth and beauty I lacked.
The gap between her, glowing in her prime as a woman, and me, entering the twilight of mine, would only widen with time.
That divide could never be bridged. Once Sun-hu was taken from me even once, I'd never get him back.
The moment I'd played the Hwang Soo-ah card to fill my void, my story was effectively over.
I don't want to let him go...
My beloved son. My beloved man.
Our Sun-hu, whom I'd poured everything into raising. The thought of losing him like this tore my heart to shreds.
"Get a grip, Im Shin-hye. Get a grip."
I dragged my heavy body up from the bed. I stumbled along like a sleepwalker.
I ended up in the changing room.
I stripped off all my clothes and stood naked before the full-length mirror.
It was still... usable, at least for now. The result of decades of desperate maintenance.
I'd lived with every tiny habit scrutinized— no sagging, no discoloration, no wrinkles.
But fooling time had its limits. Maybe two or three more years at best. After that, no amount of workouts or expensive creams would stop the withering.
The flower was starting to fade.
This was my only chance. The only time I could respond to Sun-hu's heart...
I'm scared. Of going back to being just an ordinary mom. Of Sun-hu looking at me without a spark of interest.
Before that happens, at least once...
Then my phone buzzed from the pocket of my discarded clothes.
It was Sun-hu.
"Sun-hu... Ah...!"
『Mom. It'll be late tonight. Don't wait up— go to sleep first.』
Reading his message, I collapsed right there.
Late tonight. That meant Sun-hu was spending the night with Hwang Soo-ah.
For young people these days, it might not be strange after just their first meeting.
But I couldn't endure it.
My trembling fingers tapped at the phone.
『No. Come home now』
But I couldn't finish sending it.
Forcing my authority as his mother to control him felt utterly pathetic.
If I called him back now, he'd come.
But that helped no one but me— just easing my jealousy.
My grip slackened. The smartphone clattered to the floor.
I'm his mother. The one who should rejoice most at his growth. I must never hinder it.
"Sun-hu..."
Memories flooded back. His hands caressing my chest. The way he'd kissed my lips and blushed shyly. The moans of pleasure escaping him.
"Ahh..."
My hand moved on its own, tracing the path his had taken, reliving it.
"Sun-hu..."
I caressed my breasts gently, as if afraid they'd shatter.
Sun-hu had been aroused but never lost control. He'd put my feelings first over his own pleasure. Even in his touch, there was love. That was his greatest strength.
"Ah... Ah... ♡"
My body heated up. My hand slid down from my chest to between my legs on its own.
Masturbation. I hadn't done it since my distant middle school days.
But it was the only way to soothe my loneliness now.
"Ah...!"
My fingertips brushed my clitoris.
The joy of womanhood I'd long forgotten. Like a parched seed sprouting at the touch of water, I'd rediscovered that pleasure through Sun-hu.
I'd tried pulling away from him out of ethical qualms and fear of others' eyes.
But was that truly what mattered most? More important than this longing for him burning in me now?
"Haa... Ah... ♡"
Society would never accept our relationship. If it came out, I'd face the world's scorn, our family would crumble, and we might have no place left in Korea.
So I'd tried to give up.
To protect our family. To protect Sun-hu. I thought it was for the best.
So I'd introduced him to another woman, tried to drive him away from me.
But only after letting go did I realize how vast my feelings, my desires, truly were. Who knew regret would hit this hard now...
What a foolish woman.
"Sun-hu... Sun-hu...! Aaah!"
If only he'd burst through that door right now. I'd tell him I loved him too— that I'd give him everything.
"Aah...!"
Reliving memories of his touch through masturbation. Even clumsy as I was, the sexual pleasure came.
In the end, I reached a small orgasm.
But this wasn't it.
The ecstasy from communing with Sun-hu wasn't like this. It was deeper, hotter, more transcendent.
This superficial pleasure left only emptiness behind.
Like a thirsty man drinking seawater— my craving for Sun-hu only intensified.
"Ahh..."
By now, Sun-hu was probably making love to that young woman.
The thought filled me with such misery I could cry.
I made a resolution.
This dawn, when Sun-hu returned, I'd seduce him first— make him mine no matter what.
But that night, he didn't come back until the sun rose.
It was the first time Sun-hu had ever stayed out overnight.