Chapter 24: The Space We Made, The Space We Had Made, The Space Where We Were-1
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 24: The Space We Made, The Space We Had Made, The Space Where We Were-1
She opened her eyes the day before In-ho was to be laid in his casket.
When she regained consciousness in the hospital, her mother was by her side. After hearing the situation from her, Mina hurriedly threw on her clothes and rushed out.
By the time she urged the taxi to speed and arrived at the funeral home, it was two in the morning.
As her eyes frantically searched for his altar, they landed on a condolence wreath bearing the company’s name.
"Ah..."
A raspy sound escaped her parched lips.
She dragged her feet forward, moving like someone with broken legs.
[Kang In-ho]
The altar with his name written on it.
"Ah..."
The time had come to accept the reality she had been desperately denying.
Inside the altar room, a man with thinning, salt-and-pepper hair stood as the chief mourner.
"......."
The elderly man approached her and reached out a hand.
"You’re... Ms. Mina, right? I’ve been waiting for you."
At the heavy bass of his voice, Mina slowly followed him into the room.
That face that had been smiling before he left for Busan. The face that always gave her a kind smile was now framed in a funeral portrait.
"Ugh... kgh..."
Something between a sob and a scream clawed its way up her throat.
She grit her teeth and performed the ritual bows.
One.
With the first bow, a sob broke through.
Two.
With the second bow, a scream escaped.
"Uuuugh."
The burning pain in her chest made it impossible for her to stand back up. Mina remained prostrated for a long time, weeping silently into the floor.
*
Only she and In-ho’s father remained in the quiet, guestless altar room.
"I told his mother to get some rest. It’s the middle of the night, anyway."
What was she supposed to say?
An apology? Words of comfort?
Countless words swirled in Mina’s head, but she couldn't find the confidence to utter a single one.
"I’m... so sorry."
After agonizing over it for what felt like forever, an apology was all that left her lips.
"If only... I hadn't... sent In-ho to Busan..."
"It’s not like you knew this would happen. It’s alright. I’m sure it wasn't something you wanted to do. That’s just how company life is."
His father was just as kind as he had been.
That was why it hurt even more. She would have preferred it if he had hit her, if he had cursed her out. She had steeled herself to atone by bearing his resentment.
"I heard a lot about you, Ms. Mina. Though for some reason, he hadn't mentioned much lately."
"...I see."
"Yes. He said you were a good senior, that he was learning a lot from you."
Am I a good senior?
Mina felt a wave of confusion. I’m the one who drove him to his death, and I’m a good senior?
"And I heard you two were quite close personally as well. I knew my son was interested in you."
"......."
How happy would she have been to hear those words in any other place?
But the person who liked her was gone now. He was dead.
"I know you must be confused, but please, don't let yourself be tied down by my son. That’s what I wanted to tell you."
His father stood up after saying that. It was his way of signaling that he had nothing more to say.
Mina stood up, swaying unsteadily.
"...Thank you for the advice. But... I’ve never imagined a life without In-ho."
With a short bow, she turned her back.
Watching Mina slowly walk away, In-ho’s father couldn't hide his heavy expression.
"Oh, In-ho... what was the rush? Why did you have to go so soon?"
The father muttered lonely words to the photograph that could not answer.
The night grew deeper.
*
Sunday morning, she finished her discharge paperwork and holed herself up at home.
Her mother seemed to be saying something to her, but the words didn't register.
"......"
Like a pile of burnt ash, there wasn't a single spark of life left in her eyes.
"In-ho. In-ho."
The TV and the internet were filled with nothing but news about the train derailment. Someone was analyzing the cause of the accident; someone else was mourning the victims.
In-ho’s father hadn't blamed her, but she couldn't accept that.
"There’s no reason for someone like me to be in this world."
Her voice was thick and cracked.
Why am I alive? In-ho is gone from this world. What meaning is there in a world like that?
The hand that stroked her hair, the voice that called her name, the eyes that looked at her.
She could never feel those things again.
Then why should I struggle to live in this world? Why do I have to exist!
She walked slowly to the kitchen, picked up a kitchen knife, and pressed it against her wrist.
Was this how you did it?
She tried to replicate what she had seen in movies, but then she set the knife down.
It wasn't because she was suddenly afraid of death. It was because her phone gave a short chime.
What kind of feature was this?
She tapped the pop-up window. Instagram opened.
A photo of well-grilled meat and wine at a beautiful pension.
She checked to see who had posted it.
Yun Hye-young.
"Haha... haha..."
A dry laugh escaped her. She didn't even know what was funny, but she kept giggling.
"Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!"
The manic laughter wouldn't stop.
"Hehehe, ahahaha... Just... hahahaha..."
What exactly had he died for?
Mina continued to laugh at this unfunny farce.