Chapter 132: When the Flowers Bloom in Spring-4
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 132: When the Flowers Bloom in Spring-4
Summer passes, and autumn goes. And so, winter arrives.
Once the cold winter passes, a new spring will surely come.
I think of us as seeds buried in the winter.
Like seeds spending their time beneath the earth, enduring the chill of the harsh winter.
Because by weathering the cruel storms with our whole bodies, we gain the hope to live through another tomorrow.
Just as one cannot say that every seed will sprout, the same is true for us.
Some sprout first, bloom, and then wither away.
Others might only now be buried in the earth, waiting for spring.
Emma.
I do not know how much time it took for you to read this.
And if you are reading this, you will realize that the words I wrote while spending my time with you were not a masterpiece destined for history, but a message intended for just one person.
It is difficult to presume what you look like now as you read this, but there is one thing I think I know.
You are still thinking of me, missing me, and wishing to meet me as soon as possible.
Is this just my ego? I would rather it be so.
As I write this—which is the past for you—Emma, you are sitting in a chair five paces from my desk, watching me.
Do you know how truly adorable you look, stealing glances at me while I write?
You might think I haven't noticed, but I have at least some intuition.
Did you receive the letter from Mr. Ricardo?
If so, you must have read everything written there as well.
Did you stay a night at the inn in Rowan Village?
According to the newspapers, the inn's windows open toward the village entrance, and they say the scenery is quite beautiful if you open them on a moonlit night.
Did you see the Victory Tower?
It was built to commemorate our country's victory in the war, and they say its height is quite substantial. I wonder if you felt its scale.
Did you find your way to Grandia Elenore Cathedral?
That cathedral, which has been under construction for forty years... people who have been there say you can feel the divinity from the moment you step inside. Emma, I hope you felt that too.
How was your meal at El Fio?
According to the travel brochures, the meat melts in your mouth and the wine is quite sweet. I wonder if you were able to fully enjoy those flavors.
If I were to guess...
Emma, you likely went everywhere I told you to go, but you probably didn't enjoy the things I told you to enjoy.
Surely, you spent the whole day racking your brain to decode these strange characters.
How beautiful the scenery was, how delicious the food tasted, how the history of this country unfolded...
To you right now, those things would not have mattered.
Even knowing you would act that way, I had no choice but to do this.
It was because I hoped that, by some slim chance, you might find even the smallest reason to live in this world.
Because I knew that if I died, you would follow me.
I had no choice but to lie.
Even to the point of telling the ridiculous lie that this was a masterpiece novel.
At first, I thought about filling these pages with a sequence of meaningless characters.
But, if by some stroke of luck, fate, and divine plan, the day came when you understood these letters...
If what I left behind was nothing more than the senseless ramblings of a madman...
I could see so clearly how great your despair would be, and how quickly you would let go of the hope for life.
So, so that you—having learned the whole truth—might find a reason to stay in this world, I intend to carefully convey my will, my heart, and my love to you, character by character.
*
Emma. You have looked after me for a long time.
But the "me" of now only remembers the time I spent with you recently.
So, I am sorry that I cannot speak of the memories we built together.
However, this much I can say for certain.
The six months or so I spent with you were truly happy and peaceful, a time that allowed me to reflect on many things.
I want to thank you for giving me this time.
That is why I wanted to give you a gift as well.
I wanted to give you a reason to live in this world even without me.
Although life is a succession of irrationality and pain, and though it makes you wonder why these things happen to you, or makes you think that if only you had endured a little longer, none of this would have happened...
Though you may be struck down by sudden misfortune or caught up in absurd events that turn everything to naught...
Though you must sacrifice yourself to achieve something, and though your efforts to do well might end up strangling you...
I wanted to let you know that life is still worth living.
*
Emma. Just as winter always comes, spring always comes too.
If you endure and wait a little, winter passes.
For now, you may not know when the snowstorms will cease, and you may shiver as the chill pierces your very bones.
But spring always comes.
When spring arrives and flowers bloom, you will completely forget the chill that winter gave you.
Emma. Do not despair because it is winter.
Spring always comes.
Your time and mine have reached their period with the word "farewell."
I am the sunset and a withering flower.
You are the rising sun and a flower just beginning to bud.
There is no need to remain tied to someone who is passing by.
I want you to find your own life now.
Open the door of the old mansion and walk out.
Meet people. Find love.
Leave behind the days you spent devoted to a life taken in by a nameless gentleman.
See new things, eat new things, smell and feel new things.
Surely, you will find a reason why you must remain in this world.
*
It is time to finish the story.
I plan to send a letter to Mr. Ricardo tomorrow.
Because I can feel that the end of my life has come.
Death is something that, no matter how many times I experience it, I never seem to get used to.
Emma. Smile, love, and dance.
This is my final wish.
Waiting for the flowering spring,
Kang In-ho.