Chapter 0: Prologue, The Time I Insulted a God’s Mother
Translator: RaidenTL
Chapter 0: Prologue, The Time I Insulted a God’s Mother
When I was a kid, pigeons were actually like real birds.
They were the kind of animals you couldn't catch—creatures that would flutter their wings and fly away if you got even remotely close.
But perhaps due to the effects of industrialization, those bastards gradually bulked up. Now, they’ve become "something" in the shape of a bird that doesn't even move when you approach, as if they’re stuck in Siege Mode.
Their feathers have turned pitch black and filthy; they’ve become monstrosities that spend the night pecking at some half-eaten pancake someone puked up on the street.
Seeing that sight on my way to work early in the morning makes me grateful I’m commuting on an empty stomach.
So, why am I talking about pigeons?
Because this woman fluttering her wings in front of me looks like the final evolutionary form of those goddamn pigeons.
"I shall assume that was merely a violent reaction to a sudden situation. However, if you speak to me so rudely one more time, I will no longer forgive—"
"Fuck, did you pour soy sauce directly into your goddamn brain? I’m dead because of you assholes, so why the hell am I the one who has to suffer?"
"I believe I told you that I regret that part. In truth, for a mortal like you, this reincarnation is a privilege..."
"Reincarnation? Hey, what about my life that I spent over thirty years busting my ass for? What about my parents who suddenly lost their son? What are you going to do about them?"
"It may be a great tragedy for the individual, but on a grand, dimensional scale, your sacrifice brought stability to the entire dimension. In recognition of such merit, we are reincarnating your soul..."
I flip her the middle finger.
"Fuck off and bring me back to life."
"That is impossible. It is because we used your soul from the Earth dimension as a medium to maintain the dimensional balance."
"Oh, really? You’re awfully proud of yourself, aren't you?"
"...Therefore, to continue what I was saying, I intend to compensate you by placing your soul in a dimension of your choosing."
Motherfucker, she just doesn't listen.
The pigeon watches my reaction before continuing.
"Is there a place you desire? The others have already chosen where they wish to be reincarnated. I shall give you a list, so please take your pick."
She hands me a densely packed scroll.
There are so many. I guess there really are many other worlds besides the one I lived in.
But so what?
You kill a person who was living a perfectly peaceful life for the sake of "dimensional stability," and the only compensation you give is reincarnation in another dimension?
She probably thinks she’s being incredibly generous.
These beings are the ultimate "Power." Since they’ve been in a position of power their entire lives, they have no idea how the little guy feels.
In that case, it’s only right that I clearly convey my current feelings to her.
"Oh, there’s a good place here. I’ll go with this one."
"I am glad you found a place to your liking. If you tell me the dimension you desire, I shall send you there. There will be a brief entry interview with the god of that dimension, but it is merely a formality, so you need not worry."
"The 'Yo Mama' Dimension. I'll go there."
"......"
I hear something snap.
The surroundings begin to shake, and something like a heat haze starts to rise.
Ah, that bastard’s pissed. I thought gods were supposed to be emotionless.
"I see. Since you have no dimension you desire, I shall choose for you. In the name of Ranael, 3rd Class Dimension Management God, I declare: Kang In-ho. Your soul shall pass through many dimensions. You shall travel through infinite dimensions until you find one you desire."
A pillar of light erupts beneath my feet. Oh... what a classic effect. It definitely feels like I’m being transported somewhere.
The cluster of light grows more intense.
"Looking at your profile, it says you want to be a man who is popular with the opposite sex. I shall grant that wish. I hope you live a long life, being loved by women enough to die."
"Eat shit! Have a nice life, you crazy bitch!"
As I flip her off with both hands, the pigeon’s face contorts in rage.
And then, my vision went dark.
*
The place I woke up was pitch black and damp. A clammy, musty smell slowly seeped into my nose.
"What the..."
My voice was rough, like sandpaper.
My lips were parched, and my throat was burning; it felt like it had been a long time since I’d had any water.
"He... hehe... In-ho, are you awake? I... I thought you might have died... I was going to follow you..."
My body was bound to a chair.
And there was a woman, holding a kitchen knife to her own throat with crazed eyes.
The words the pigeon said before I came here drift back to me.
[I hope you live a long life, being loved by women enough to die.]
"Fuck. I'm screwed."