Chapter 56
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 56
Chapter Title: The Path of Man, The Path of Music
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There's a saying.
Money-stealing thieves are petty crooks.
Time-stealing thieves are major criminals.
And thieves who steal happiness are utterly shameless villains.
Stealing away the treasure called happiness wastes a person's time and money entirely, and taking away their happiness is tantamount to stealing their entire life.
Yet these fools did just that, right in the middle of the bustling morning commute to school—gathering in a mob, ripping at people's clothes, yowling and howling, and robbing me of my irreplaceable happiness, the most precious thing in the world.
The Master said: "One who shits in the middle of the road is no man, but a beast."
Those chanting the name of that familiar lunatic—their behavior is clearly that of beasts, not humans.
Following the words of that great sage, I made those beastly whelps crawl on the ground so they'd know their place.
"How about it? Can you see the path of man now?"
Three rows of five each.
I kindly observed the trembling beasts as they formed the character for "person" (人) with their entire bodies.
Even the Master had given up enlightening these beasts, but I, the former Heavenly Demon, would not abandon them. I was guiding them with my whole body to realize human propriety and the path of man.
"Guh... guhhrng..."
"My... neck is cramping..."
"I feel like I'm gonna die..."
No, how long has it been since they started learning human propriety through their bodies, and they're already whining about dying?
The young disciples at the Heavenly Demon Divine Church's Entry Horse Hall in my past life endured this for an hour without breaking a sweat.
"Tsk tsk, little heroes and that Artemis wench— you were all chattering away so eagerly. Can't even endure this and you're crying?"
"Y-You made us do it...!"
As I shook my head in pity, the armored girl who'd held a knife to Atalanta earlier growled at me.
She'd stubbornly refused to bow her head until the end, barking defiance until her eyes bulged like ping-pong balls from the beatings, and she still had the energy for this?
She's got decent durability as a sandbag.
"Oops, my hand slipped."
Suddenly, the strength drained from my hand, and by pure coincidence, the short sword I'd taken from the armored girl earlier dropped with a clunk.
-Clang!
"Kyaaak!?"
Fortunately(?), the dagger struck the helmet of the armored girl whose head was planted right in front of my foot before falling away.
Startled by the impact, her face paled as she hurriedly readjusted her balance.
"I've gotta head out now. I'll come back after music class, so keep holding that pose?"
I've memorized all your faces, so if you wanna see something really painful, try running~
I waved cheerfully and hurried off toward the Forest of Music with Atalanta in tow.
"Um, Dianes..."
"Don't worry about that damn crescent moon bitch. We've come too far for any make-up nonsense now."
The crescent moon emblem engraved on that armored girl's armor earlier.
And the way they tried to rip Atalanta's clothes while babbling about Artemis.
They must be those "hunters of Artemis" I heard about yesterday.
That cursed moon goddess, that man-killing archer, was pulling massive aggro everywhere I went.
"What a pain in the ass."
Amusingly, the red-haired huntress meekly following me was also a member of that Artemis-worshipping hunter group.
She'd skipped yesterday's banquet for something related to them, it seemed, but from the looks of it, it hadn't gone well.
"What happened?"
"..."
"Don't wanna talk about it?"
"...Yeah."
"Okay, then."
"Huh...?"
I could guess what had happened without her saying, but it would've been rude to pry when she clearly didn't want to talk.
"Tell me whenever you feel like it."
We were going to be late for the first class, so before Atalanta could say anything, I grabbed her wrist and dashed off.
I'd finished morning training and left with plenty of time, even after buying supplies, but the beast-enlightenment opening ceremony had dragged on a bit. Class had already started.
Passing the statue of the plump music god Apollo and the laurel grove echoing with flute melodies, a fan-shaped amphitheater of pure white marble came into view.
In the center of the stage, a peculiar heteromorph was playing a pan flute.
"Oh, the new student and... Lady Atalanta? You're late, but luckily, we haven't started in earnest yet."
The music teacher invited us to sit in the empty seats with a soft, gentle voice.
This must be Marsyas, the music teacher the instrument shop guy had mentioned.
"...Huh?"
But his unusual appearance made me halt my steps as I tried to lead Atalanta along.
His upper body was that of a clean-cut man with a relaxed demeanor, but horns protruded from his head.
And his lower body, standing on two legs, was covered in shaggy fur and goat hooves.
"...A satyr?"
"Yes, a satyr. Marsyas, descendant of the shepherd god Pan and servant to Dionysus."
I'd heard that satyrs, servants of Dionysus and descendants of Pan the shepherd god, were a cheerful race who loved wine and music.
But his appearance was even more alien than a centaur's, leaving me momentarily speechless and stunned.
Seeing this, he grinned and patted his legs.
"Heh heh heh, first time seeing one of Pan's descendants like me, huh?"
"Ah, s-sorry."
"No need to apologize. Even I get startled by my reflection in a stream sometimes. With this shaggy fur, and to top it off, a satyr with such a handsome face!"
-Hahaha!
The audience burst into laughter at Marsyas's self-deprecating joke, delivered with a shrug.
He nodded contentedly, looking around at the smiling crowd.
"Laughter! The most beautiful music in the world. To think my joke elicited such a lovely chorus.
I can boast about this to Father Pan and Lord Dionysus."
Saying so, he urged us to sit, then clapped to draw everyone's attention and began the lecture.
"Long before Athena captured all things on canvas with dyes, or Apollo sang of the world in verse,
all creation was born bearing its own music within."
-Snap! Clap!
"From the lightest flick of fingers,"
-Tap tarara tap!
"to sprightly steps rolling across the ground,"
-Clap, clap-clap clap-clap!
"to merry handclaps ringing out. Our own bodies are already endowed with countless songs. In the end, music is what awakens our bodies to joy, and instruments are not just tools for external tunes—they draw out the music innate within us, serving as extensions of our very bodies."
I'm naturally quick to master simple things.
But getting others to absorb what I've easily learned—into their heads and hearts, without resistance or distraction—is exceedingly difficult.
In that regard, the satyr music teacher Marsyas was exceptionally gifted.
Like watching a musical, he tapped rhythms with dance steps and claps, his clear voice piercing straight into our ears.
"This is what a music class should be."
Not one where missed notes earn you a sonic dagger to the gut, or off-beats bring a sonic hammer crashing down.
That's not music class; that's musical torture.
Only after three lifetimes did I finally attend a proper, civilized liberal arts class.
I could only be grateful.
"Now, among them, the flute is the lightest, simplest, and most fundamental instrument, yet it best preserves the essence of music elevated by artifice. Pair your nimble fingers and breath like Zephyrus's gentle breeze, and it effortlessly stirs the music within you."
Oh right!
Marsyas clapped dramatically like a theater actor, spreading his arms wide to address the students.
"You haven't forgotten today's special assignment, have you? Bring a flute worthy of rivaling my syrinx, and I'll take you to the upcoming Dionysus festival as a special guest. You didn't forget, right?"
Dionysus festival?
The name reeked of booze, making me tilt my head, but everyone else eagerly pulled out their flutes, eyes sparkling.
"Atalanta, what's the Dionysus festival?"
"Well, Lord Dionysus, the wine god, will soon pass through this area on his long journey.
He stops briefly to rest, and humans, all sorts of heteromorphs—even gods from Olympus—join the festival, so everyone dreams of going at least once."
Ah.
Like a nationwide beer fest?
The ultimate youthful keyword stirred my interest rapidly.
"But it's a festival, right? Can't we just go and enjoy?"
At my words, Atalanta stroked my hand endearingly and shook her head.
"Hee hee, the festival takes place in Lord Dionysus's sanctuary, which only those he permits or their invitees can enter. That's why not just anyone can join."
Ah, so that's why Heracles over there was gleefully pulling out a bagpipe-sized monster flute,
and Jason was brandishing a gold-and-silver gleaming flute with such fervor.
These were the same guys who'd grumbled about hating music class just yesterday.
But alas for them.
The winner of this special event was already decided.
There couldn't possibly be a flute more beautiful than this cutie pie slumbering sweetly in my bosom.
"I'm not that fussed, but... Dianes, do you want to go?"
"It's a festival. To me, festivals were just events where I slaved away cleaning on Pasos Island."
But a drinking fest hosted by the wine god himself?
That I couldn't miss.
I shrugged involuntarily in excitement, and Atalanta, who'd been staring, just nodded as if convinced of something.
"Hee hee, yeah, just as I thought..."
"What's that mean?"
"Huh? Nothing!"
Her earlier gloom had vanished completely from her face as she looked back at me. It shone brightly once more.
"..."
"Dianes?"
"Ah, sorry."
Her radiant smile unwittingly drew my eyes to those lips I'd craved madly just yesterday.
Like soft flower petals fluttering and sparkling, I nearly lunged again, entranced.
But I snapped back to reality, jerking my leaning body upright in the chair.
'...Am I some puberty-struck boy? Well, technically yes, but still!'
I bit my lip silently, fighting to quell the instincts surging at random moments.
Atalanta gave me a strange look, then brought those lips to my ear and whispered,
"Me too... I feel... the same...?"
"!?"
Did I hear that right?
I whipped around like I'd been slapped, and Atalanta, equally embarrassed, hid her flushed face with both hands, inching away from me.
"You get embarrassed too."
"Shut up!"
I'd never imagined my life would feature such sweet-and-sour romcom moments.
Caught in this sudden pink atmosphere that dropped like a bomb, I didn't know what to do and just stamped my feet with elbows on my knees.
While everyone else cheered and buzzed with excitement, we sat awkwardly silent.
Then Marsyas trotted over on his hooves, clacking.
"Hoo?"
"...Teacher?"
"Hooo?"
"Uh, Ma-Marsyas, Master?"
"Hoooong?"
Obviously enjoying himself way too much, Marsyas alternated glances between us with a mischievous grin.
"Perfect timing~"
Go for it!
He patted my shoulder encouragingly, then beamed and extended a hand to us.
"Now, shall we see the flutes you prepared? If both meet my approval,
I'll play at your wedding."
"Wha? Wh-what?!"
Atalanta's face turned beet red, like it might burst at a touch, but dutifully pulled out her flute and handed it over.
"Hmm... Birch flute. Simple mouthpiece, only three finger holes.
A hunting whistle, eh?"
A bit lacking for true music, but he praised its exquisite craftsmanship and returned it to Atalanta.
"Now, Dianes. A surprise assignment for your first class—what flute did you bring?"
"Heh... I doubt you've seen anything like this."
I slowly drew out the cutie pie from my bosom with full confidence.
"Truly, fate itself—a darling I met just this morning."
"Oh...?"
As the obsidian flute gleamed ethereally under the bright sunlight,
Marsyas's eyes naturally widened in astonishment.