The Visit (1)
The truth.
A concrete account of the ability the Commander possessed — Villainy. A few words would be enough to lay every bit of it bare: every contradictory thing the Commander had done. All of it. She had only to set those acts beside the overwhelming power Lee Sera had shown today. There was physical proof, besides.
Kim Hana dug through the pocket of the white doctor's coat she wore and closed her hand around the kit.
If I show her this...
If she told Kwon Ari everything, the Commander would never have to be wounded again. She would not have to suffer over a misunderstanding that made no sense. The units would stop tormenting her.
...And yet.
"......"
A slender hand. With that hand the Commander caught Kim Hana hard about the waist, and little by little the grip began to tremble. Kim Hana knew exactly what she wanted to say. She could guess.
...And because she could.
"Doctor?"
Kwon Ari's voice no longer reached her. Kim Hana turned, just slightly, and looked behind her.
It was pitiful beyond bearing. The Commander's face was so wretched it looked as though the tears might burst from her at any moment. Where, looking at a face like that, could anyone see a vicious mask crammed full of inferiority? A face like this. If they had seen the Commander's true expression even once... No one would have been able to say such a thing.
Ah...
This face was seared into her eyes now. To betray the Commander, to betray the faith placed in her, and tell Kwon Ari the truth...
...was impossible.
She simply could not. More precisely, she did not have the courage to look at the Commander's face once the truth was out.
What kind of face would she turn on me then?
Only one thing was certain.
It would not be gratitude for having been told the truth. Of course it wouldn't.
So she set her teeth, schooled her expression into something as calm as she could manage, and lied to Kwon Ari.
"Ari. Who do you think got the Commander this far?"
"Well, that's obvious..."
An absurd rumor. That the Commander had traded on her body and her face, taken the patronage of a power in the political world, and been appointed Commander of the Security Bureau at a very young age. Everyone in the Bureau knew it. The reality was different. The Commander was no ignorant civilian who knew nothing. Kim Hana had heard it plainly in the meeting.
"Do you really think the man who treasures the Commander so dearly would sit still, knowing her body had been cut to ribbons?"
Kwon Ari seemed to think for a moment. Then her face went blank.
"He probably couldn't touch Sera. But the other units... he could step in easily enough."
"I understand what you mean, Doctor."
Kwon Ari smiled again, warm and familiar — an innocent smile that understood nothing, the kind of smile that could bewitch a person. She drifted slowly to Kim Hana's side. Then she went to the Commander and gently stroked her hair.
"Let's say today never happened, Commander."
"......"
"I'll let it go this time. There — now that you've been petted like this, all the hurt is gone, isn't it?"
A flinch.
The Commander seemed determined not to let it show. ...But she was unmistakably trembling. She was afraid. Today, it seemed, had left quite a trauma behind.
Ah...
Why had she noticed only now? If she had realized even a little sooner. If she had caught on before a disaster like this could happen. If she had at least given the other units the slightest warning...
...I'm sorry.
I glanced back through the rearview mirror — Kim Hana's little car, and Kwon Ari sitting in the back seat — and studied her mood, just a little.
...It stings.
Today had hurt a little. But that was all. I was fine. Kwon Ari was not a bad person by nature. She simply had a clear standard of her own. She was only the sort who tormented someone she disliked until it nearly killed them. Her ability had manifested when she was young, and she had never fit in with children her own age; she had simply never learned how to build all kinds of relationships. I knew all of that.
"When are we leaving, Doctor?"
"Give it a moment. A call should be coming any— ah. It's here."
Kim Hana. When she offered to drive us, I had meant to refuse, so I typed it on my phone and held the screen up.
But.
"Get in."
"...Commander."
She said that and pushed me into the passenger seat, so I had no choice but to get in.
Still, this worked out.
...How on earth had she noticed? My ability. Had she run some kind of ability test while I was unconscious?
Without even asking me?
At first I wondered whether to get angry. But to lose my temper at someone looking after me like this, when I couldn't even repay the kindness... that wasn't something a person ought to do, so I let it go. Besides, I had already forgotten how to be truly angry.
"All right, we're heading out, so your seat belts—"
Kim Hana said it and immediately set her foot on the accelerator. At the same moment, Luna's image began to come through on the vehicle display.
"I thought it would be best if you saw this..."
Kim Hana's voice trailed off, and I understood.
Luna told her to show me.
On the screen, an enormous crowd had packed in around Luna where she stood at the podium — a crowd the police were only just managing to hold. It was not far from the Security Bureau building. Every eye in the protest was fixed on that one place.
Luna bent ninety degrees at the waist and bowed. Blonde hair, blue eyes — a beautiful woman whose looks were still somewhat unfamiliar in this country. When she lowered her head in fluent Korean, the protesters' fury visibly lost some of its heat.
"Ah..."
...Was this because of me? The matter had grown far too large. By rights, I should have been the one standing there.
The calm, resolute voice went on.
Luna bowed once more in formal apology.
"Don't make me laugh!!!"
"Hey, you bastards!! How rotten are you!!"
Enormous shouts crashed in from every side. Beyond the monitor, and all around the car, a countless crowd stared at only one place, faces flushed with excitement.
Luna Luvia.
My gaze kept drifting outward, toward where the crowd had gathered.
"I'll go a little faster."
As if she had noticed where I was looking, Kim Hana pressed harder on the accelerator.
She never got to finish. The police line broke, and the agitated protesters surged in on her. An egg even struck her face with a soft, wet thock.
But.
Luna, prouder than anyone, stood her ground and finished what she had to say. And in the instant a handful of protesters who had broken through the police reached the very lip of the podium —
Screech—
The heavy clash of machinery striking the ground, and at the same moment one of Luna's arms... fell to the floor. It was a meticulously made prosthetic.
"Uh... uh...?"
Luna did not spare so much as a glance for the protesters, struck dumb with bewilderment. She stared straight into the camera instead and cried out, head high.
...How. How could anyone carry courage like that?
Could I ever act the way Luna does?
All my ability amounted to, at best, was wounding other people. An ability that could save someone only by making someone else suffer.
...And yet I was glad of this ability. Because of it, Lee Sera and the other units had been able to grow so much stronger.
If only I could find courage like that...
On the screen, Luna slowly flung the jacket she was wearing to the floor. She laid her shame bare before everyone.
"Ah..."
Before I knew it, my hand had gone to the display. The part of herself Luna found most humiliating — the part she had shown only to me — she had opened to everyone.
A stillness began to settle over the protesters.
A heavy silence. No one rushed Luna anymore. No one shouted. They could not have brought themselves to.
Once more, Luna bowed her head to the people of this country.
If she could, she would not even spare her life. It sounded as if those words had been spoken along with the rest, because Luna's eyes were burning.
"......"
I found courage, too.
In that moment.
"Commander."
"......"
I turned. Kwon Ari was looking at me with very cold eyes.
"This is your fault. That it turned out like this."
I nodded. ...It was my fault. I had no intention of denying it. Only — I wrote it out and held up the phone.
"Even in a situation like this... Commander. Please."
The eyes Kwon Ari turned on me were full of disgust.
...But it wasn't enough. A little more. I had to think of words that could provoke her. With a trembling hand, I tapped at the phone.
In that moment.
"Stop. Please, Commander."
Kim Hana, who had said nothing all this time, looked at me and shook her head, pleading.
But.
The kindness — I was truly grateful. So grateful that having no way to repay it was enough to drive me to despair. And yet I must never repent, never court sympathy, never grow close to anyone.
"......"
I looked at Kim Hana, smiled faintly, and slowly turned around.
Right after, Kwon Ari's voice began to tremble, little by little — a voice steeped in a rage she could not endure. It was different from before. There was no longer any ease to be found in it.
"H-how can you even say that? Are you in your right mind?"
"......"
"She exposed a shameful wound because of you! Feel even a little guilt, I'm telling you!!"
Guilt. Because I had said something like this, a mad guilt rose in me, so sharp I felt I might bite my tongue off at any moment. I endured it.
"You piece of trash. You're far more garbage than I expected. Be ready. From now on, I won't let a single thing slide."
"......"
"Honestly, it would be so much better if you didn't exist. Trash like you..."
Kwon Ari clenched her teeth and shouted.
"I wish you'd disappear from the world. Please, please, go out there and die. Please!"
I could feel that she meant it.
"...I'll get out here. I can go on my own."
Thud.
The car door shut, and Kwon Ari left without a backward glance.
Hah...
Thank goodness. That was what I thought.
But I didn't know why...
"Commander."
Kim Hana began to cry. I had turned my face to the left, so I couldn't quite see hers. Even so, without a doubt... something at the corner of her eye...
Why?
Why was she suddenly like this?
Clunk.
The sound of the door locking reached me.