001. Villainy (1)

I shot her a sidelong glance.

Scritch, scritch.

That was what I scrawled onto the tablet I held up. It might come across as a little cheap, I'll admit — but it was the only way I had of conveying what I meant.

Because I can't speak.

Spasmodic dysphonia. A disorder where the signals traveling from the brain to the throat tangle themselves into knots. No matter how hard I tried to force out a voice, all that ever came was a strangled "Ahk— egh."

I gave silent thanks that I didn't have to say such things out loud.

"Commander. But this mission is absolutely beyond what our team can—"

It was a mission that couldn't be solved. Difficulty: S-Rank. I had chosen it that way, deliberately.

I fixed the girl before me with a cold stare, then turned the tablet toward her.

Flinch.

I could see the girl's whole body shudder.

"……Yes, ma'am."

The girl slowly withdrew from her seat, wearing an expression that said she couldn't swallow her indignation. As she glared at me like she wanted me dead, still sitting there in silence, I let out a little scoff.

"Pfft."

I sneered at her. That much of a sound, at least, I could make.

Ziiing.

The doors slid apart and she slipped out. I stared blankly at her retreating back, and once I judged she'd gotten far enough away, I turned my gaze toward the window.

Skyscrapers. A view that looked straight down over Seoul, its skyline packed wall-to-wall with high-rise buildings. Whenever my heart started to ache, I looked at this view. It calmed me down.

"Commander, we're heading out for lunch."

I nodded. At that, the agents left their posts without so much as a backward glance.

Gulp.

I swallowed. A heavy silence began to settle over the high-rise command room, which meant I could hear, with perfect clarity, what the agents were saying in front of the elevator.

"Useless, and all she does is make trouble for people?"

"If she got in on her family's connections, the least she could do is keep her mouth shut. She was bitching at Yerin again today."

"It's all an inferiority complex. She can't do anything but sit there, so she takes it out on the young ones with their whole futures ahead of them."

……No, it's not like that.

I wanted to say it wasn't — but no voice came.

"Haa."

A sigh escaped me. Because there wasn't a single word in what they'd said that was wrong.

……Except, in fact, all of it was wrong.

This was the only way I could help. My one and only ability.

This was a world inside a game. One where you became the Commander, built a party of Units, and defended the world — that sort of game.

When I opened my eyes after dying in my previous life, I was here. A Commander who didn't exist in the original story. Appointed to the post through her family's connections, the base commander charged with the defense of Seoul.

……Defense against what?

Angels. Grotesque things in shape, admittedly — but monsters who undeniably called themselves angels. Protecting Seoul from them was the role of the World Security Bureau under the United Nations, the organization I belonged to.

"Ngh."

I slowly rose to my feet. The Seoul skyline stretched out before me, and from up here the city truly looked sprawling and dense. Just like the game's story. I didn't want it shattered. Nor did I want that for the girls, either.

From the look of things, the game hadn't even begun its prologue yet. That was what the prologue was — everything broken, everything collapsed, the story starting from a ruin where nothing remained. And in the process, the Units died in droves.

I don't want that.

I really, truly didn't. Even if it cost me my life — I wanted, absolutely and without exception, to stop it. Especially—

"Commander."

The command room door swung open and someone came rushing in. A woman with an utterly frigid expression.

Lee Sera. Flowing hair, an expressionless face that gave nothing away — a Unit defined by that mask. The one who saved the Commander in the prologue and died for it. She was the first to exit the stage, and the Unit I loved the most.

Her, above all…… I want to protect.

Her appearance cut lasted a single scene. She showed up pretending to be the main heroine, and in her very next scene she was torn in half by the Angels and died. Other players had just shrugged — oh right, there was that one Unit — and moved on. But I was ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠different. Because……

"I heard everything from Yerin. Got a minute?"

I nodded. At that, Lee Sera approached with that expressionless face, twisted her hair around her finger, glanced around the room — and then—

"Commander. Brace yourself."

……Huh?

Crack!

Hard enough for the sound to ring out, she slapped me across the cheek. The impact caught me completely off guard and threw off my balance; my chair toppled backward and I went down with it.

"Turns out there's no regulation saying you can't hit the Commander."

Flinch.

I touched the cheek where a bruise was blooming, then brushed off my legs and stood back up. Unable to speak or not, my body worked just fine — a frame close to that of an ordinary adult woman—

Crack—!

This time it was the other cheek that burned. No — burned wasn't the word. It hurt so much my eyes spun with tears. Still, I desperately held them back. Cowering was proof of fear, and if I showed fear, Lee Sera would inevitably look down on me. She couldn't be allowed to. I was the Commander. If the object of her contempt became an object of ridicule, the effect of my ability might weaken.

"Ah— ugh— ahk."

"I know you can't talk. It's disgusting to listen to, so shut up, you cripple."

"……"

Veins stood out on the back of Lee Sera's slender white hand. It was beautiful.

"Do you have any idea how much you hurt Yerin?"

"……"

I shook my head. I didn't.

"Commander, you're genuinely fucking awful."

That was fine. If hating me made them stronger, I would gladly do it — again and again, as many times as it took. Because only then would no one have to die.

Spit.

My raven hair was soaked with clear saliva. I raised a hand to wipe it away—

"Ughk!"

—and Lee Sera seized my wrist with crushing force. The pain was enough to make me feel like I'd shatter, but I bit down hard on my lower lip and endured it.

"Stupid, incompetent, and all you've got to show for yourself is your family and that face of yours. So why do you keep butting into every mission and tormenting the other girls?"

I averted my eyes. Desperately.

I don't want to do this either!

Slowly, Lee Sera took both my cheeks in three fingers each and began to squeeze, hard.

"Trash whose only redeeming feature is her face. Whore. Walking inferiority complex."

Flinch.

……No. Whore — that one wasn't true.

"I heard all about your past. You wanted to be a Unit, didn't you?"

Units — that was what they called the awakened, gifted with abilities, who served in the Security Bureau. All of them women. Apparently, this body's "me" had once longed to be one, too.

……In that case. I would have to give the performance of a lifetime.

"Ah— aaagh."

"Can't even make a proper sound. Pfft."

"……Ngh—uhk."

Lee Sera shoved me hard backward. I lost my balance and fell to the floor, then slowly got up again, caught the tablet with trembling hands — and then, I lied.

The truth was, I loved them more than anyone.

"Same here. I hate the Commander so much I could die."

……Please don't, though.

I forced the corners of my mouth upward and stared at Lee Sera with eyes brimming over with envy. I, who had accomplished nothing, resented and despised them — them, who had achieved all of it. How bitter. How wretched.

……Forcing myself into that frame of mind, I let it show on my face. Since I couldn't convey it in words.

"Revolting and pathetic. Honestly, with a mind like that, you'd be better off not living at all."

Lee Sera's right eye blinked once — and in that instant—

CRASH—!

—the command room's windows shattered all at once. At the same time—

"Ugh— ughk……"

—a violent wind came howling into the room.

"I heard, you know. ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠What the Commander really is."

"…"

"A bastard child. Heard you sold yourself to your father's connections just to scrape together this position."

……How.

"That's quite the shocked expression. You look absolutely terrified. If you keep making that face……"

Lee Sera narrowed her eyes.

"You might actually be kind of cute."

An illegitimate child. That was what I was — the bastard daughter of one of Korea's most powerful politicians. Begging, and begging again, scraping and pleading until he finally relented. Swearing that I would never, as long as I lived, so much as show my face to the rest of the family. That I would never be an eyesore, never stand in the way of his bid for the presidency, never inflict any kind of burden on anyone. Only after swearing all of that did I wring this position out of him.

……The position that is everything I am.

I never ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠dreamed it would come out. A secret known only to my father and me — and the half-sisters who didn't even know I existed.

"At first I had no idea. How that exalted man of yours actually treats his own daughter."

"Ugh— ughk……"

Lee Sera slowly reached out her arm, closed her hand around my throat — and then, step by step, began walking toward the shattered window, where the gale was raging like a madman.

"Ah— ugh— uk……"

I squirmed. The plosive groans rasping out of me were clawing at my ears like madness itself. Lee Sera leaned in close and whispered, loud, into my ear.

"Your father — if I dispose of you like this, what do you think his reaction would be?"

"Uh— nn……"

"He'd be absolutely delighted, wouldn't he."

She gave me a wide, beaming smile. Then her face went grave.

"So never again."

"Ughk…"

"Never again say that kind of thing — to Yerin, or to me, or to any of the other Units."

Slowly, slowly, my body drifted back from the broken window. Back inside. Lee Sera lifted me up and set me back in my chair.

"Promise me, Commander."

"Kehk— hahk— heahk……"

Handprints were left on my throat. ……Lee Sera's handprints. It had hurt, and been wretched, and exhausting — but it was fine.

"Your answer. Commander."

I nodded slowly, my face twisted with bottled-up fury. Only then did Lee Sera let a faint smile cross her lips.

"That's all, then. I'm off to get lunch. Enjoy your meal too, Commander."

Ziiing.

Lee Sera swept out of the command room. Hugging my knees in the chair, I found myself — for reasons I couldn't name — wiping away tears that had begun to fall.

I looked at the desk mirror standing on my work desk. The crying had ruined me; whatever makeup I'd worn had smeared beyond saving. Whooooosh—! The building's updraft howling in from outside had left the interior a disaster as well — glass shards from the shattered window had scraped my hands, my legs, my knees, and blood was seeping out.

How…… am I supposed to clean all this up……

The sigh only deepened.

Swipe, swipe.

I was desperately gathering up the glass with tissues, scraps of cloth, anything — when—

"Hhaah……"

—my hand hurt so badly that just as I was thinking there was no point anymore, blood quite literally soaking the floor—

Ziiing.

The door opened and someone stepped in.

"……Haa."

"……"

"No wonder Miss Sera ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠told me to come up. Commander."

The Chief Medical Officer of the Security Bureau's Seoul Base — Kim Hana. She let out a sigh and took me by the hand, pulling me up.

"Come to the Medical Bay first."

"……"

I let my head drop.