Blackout Cat

I left a comment.

That was what my past self used to think. And here I am now.

Maybe it was because they were guys. Honestly, she just looks ordinarily cute.

Glug-glug-glug—

The sound of something being poured echoed through the room.

"Hee-heehee…"

Yu Nari laughed as she stared at the empty green-tinted glass bottle.

Why had she even been drinking beer until now? This felt so much better. Ah, right—because it tasted terrible.

"…Guys, why do people even drink soju? Your tongues must be rotten. Hee-heehee."

"They say if life is bitter then soju is sweet… liars. This is bitter too."

She tossed out some half-remembered saying and reached for the glass again.

Gulp—

"You bastards. Puhah."

One empty bottle rolling on the floor, the nearly finished bottle in Yu Nari's hand, and one still unopened—three bottles total.

The stream had gone live when she cracked open the second bottle of soju.

"Why'd I turn it on? 'Cause I feel like crap and I've got no friends to talk to."

"You'll listen? What the hell would you even do with that, you punk. Get chat-banned."

"Ah, what was I saying… why I feel like this."

"Everybody shut up! All of you, shut the hell up. Just listen to me."

Yu Nari made a shushing gesture toward the camera she couldn't even see.

And then—

"Hic… heeup."

"I'm not crying, you bastards."

She roughly dabbed at the corners of her eyes with a tissue from beside her and continued.

"I started streaming and hic— the first fan I ever got doesn't find me fun anymore…"

"You were never fun to begin with? You die die die die. Is today fun? Yeah? That's a relief then."

A few necks got chopped off, and Yu Nari took the mic again.

"It's not even singing, how the hell do you practice being fun, this goddamn thing… go watch other streamers or whatever… or at least don't get caught. Kkeup."

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"What. I know how to swear too, you know? Shit shit shit shiiiit."

"How old do you think I am treating me like a kid, you wanna die. You get out too."

"How old am I?"

Sip—

"I'm twenty-two? You thought thirty? You get lost too."

Unlike usual, Yu Nari's executions showed no mercy, and she had zero hesitation about doxxing herself either.

That bold engagement only made the chat firepower grow stronger.

"Why'd I drink? 'Cause I felt like shit, why."

"Can't even say that? The world's so cold. You get out too. Nobody can stop me. Hee-heehee."

It felt exactly like watching a celebrity cause a scene on social media after drinking.

"I can tooo, I can stream well tooo."

Drawn by that razor-edge thrill, people who had started gathering couldn't leave their seats—half worried, half entertained.

"I was gonna say hi when I went for the recording, but he didn't even come out, and I can understand that a hundred times over, but why are you watching someone else's stream during my recording, it's my recording session. You don't even come to my stream anymore, heuuuuuk."

"You guys don't know! Dammit. I'll kill you all, just nod at what I say."

The person Do-yoon had been watching on stream happened to be Kurogami Yui, who had sent that email looking for Yeong-il.

The way he had chatted happily with Kim Hye-min, whom he was meeting for the first time.

Those little things had remained as tiny knots of resentment and played their part in stirring her emotions, but Yu Nari hadn't even realized that much.

She just registered it as somehow feeling dirty.

"Still, the recording went well. Don't badmouth it, when the track comes out listen to it properly."

Damned if she does, damned if she doesn't, the viewers grumbled.

What is this, a dream?

The Lunari stream I entered late was burning hot.

The chat, the streamer—everything was blazing.

I had sent an apology message roughly thirty minutes earlier.

Ten minutes passed.

Even after thirty minutes.

The person who normally replied within a minute had nothing.

She should have been home by now—was she showering and sleeping?

Yu Nari had looked in pretty rough shape, so I was worried.

"Mm…"

The only points of contact I had with her were Discord or the stream, so I entered Lunari's channel without much thought.

A suspicious title and a black screen.

A lot more people than usual.

It looked anything but normal, so I clicked in a hurry.

"Crazy."

Good lord.

What am I looking at—no, listening to right now.

Lunari had completely broken down.

"Wow… so this is what a drunk rant looks like."

Seeing someone I knew do the thing I'd only ever watched in media was pretty novel, but I was too nervous about what might come out of that mouth next to keep watching.

I reached toward the stream chat window for the first time in a while.

She was barely coherent and the chat was flying by so fast she probably couldn't catch my ID accurately.

If I just pretended to worry and diluted things a bit to get her to end the stream…

I flinched.

Me? Is it me? No way.

At a glance it just sounded like she was pissed at the guys who never watched her stream normally showing up and telling her to turn it off.

The timing was coincidental, but there was no way she saw me in this wave of chat.

Tap-tap—

She whined for a long while, then started laughing again.

Actually terrifying.

Shit, what is this.

The hypnotized reaction of the chat almost made me fall out of my chair.

What the hell did she do while I wasn't looking.

There must still have been alcohol left, because the glug-glug sound came again.

"……"

I prayed it wasn't directed at me and just waited quietly.

Most of the viewers were enjoying the hellfire, but here and there worried messages popped up saying maybe it was time to end it.

I watched Yu Nari's reaction.

Ah, she definitely saw my ID.

I should've just typed for her to turn it off.

Yu Nari soon put on the MR and betrayed everyone's expectations.

Instead of the songs her usual viewers liked, she picked a lively trot track.

She even stuffed my nickname in there.

In the most folksy way possible.

While I was covering my mouth at that horrifying scene, the chat was plastered with "lmaoooo" and I received both pity and jealousy at the same time.

Wow, I thought this had truly gone to hell, but then the gods lowered a rope.

Yu Nari must have pushed herself singing, because she started dry heaving.

Right after, the screen crackled with static and froze.

Thank you. Thank you.

Internet broadcasting truly is the great Link.

Whew.

A deep sigh of relief rose from the bottom of my chest.

Only after the situation ended did goosebumps rise on my skin.

Countless people had, even if indirectly, put my story in their mouths, and I was inside that story.

Normally I would have fled straight under the blanket, but maybe I was too distracted by Yu Nari's abnormal behavior?

Somehow I had managed to stay in place without issue.

Maybe I'd grown numb to even bigger dopamine hits.

That was the only explanation that made sense.

Belatedly my hands and feet started trembling lightly.

Riiing— riiing—

Before I could even catch my breath the phone rang.

Should I not pick up.

I thought about it for about ten seconds, but I had a feeling that if I didn't answer she would keep calling until I did, so I just hit accept.

"Hello."

"……First, how about getting some sleep."

"Good idea. Call me when you wake up."

This was no different from earlier. Just switched from group chat to one-on-one.

"First, just so there's no misunderstanding—I wasn't doing other stuff during the recording. Still, I'm sorry for doing something that could be misunderstood."

"……Um."

More precisely, I hadn't been watching with full focus.

Still, there were plenty of times I just left it playing in the background—but that was basically the same thing, right?

"It's not that…"

It had been fun, yeah.

If a Japanese VTuber did a skate-eating mukbang, Yu Nari would click it too.

How could you resist. I was curious about the reaction and also how a VTuber would even show that.

While I hesitated to answer, Yu Nari spoke.

Should I say it was fun, or that I couldn't take my eyes off it.

In terms of pure focus it had been the best. Enough to get suspended.

"Yeah yeah of course."

Anyway once she woke up tomorrow and sobered up she'd be back to normal.

She couldn't keep doing crazy stuff like this.

For now just soothe her.

"Yeah sure sure."

Yu Nari's words started trailing off; she seemed to be hitting her limit.

"Huh?"

"I told you in advance it was remote, though?"

Yu Nari, who had been mixing informal and formal speech, seemed to be dozing off; her breathing started mixing into the conversation.

Meeting in person, huh.

Well.

I didn't know if I could.

I also wanted to meet the friend I'd made after so many years.

See what she looked like once, talk about music together.

Maybe we could spend a pleasant time that way.

But if it were a guy it might have been a bit easier—unfortunately Yu Nari was a girl, so I hesitated.

If she got scared when we ran into each other outside, I thought it would be far too sad.

I couldn't bring myself to gather the courage.

There would be a chance someday.

I never thought I'd be able to talk on the phone this comfortably either. And even with so many people shouting my name my heart hadn't shriveled up, had it.

Soon only breathing came through the headphones, and for a moment I left the call connected without hanging up.

If I hung up carelessly and the disconnect sound woke her it would be a problem.

She turns into a total mess when she drinks, this person.

Someday, even if the day truly came when we met, I would absolutely never drink with her.

Listening to the soft snoring, I closed my eyes.

Once it got quiet, the earlier commotion still floated around my ears.

The storm of emotional swings, the chat that staggered and got dizzier and therefore more excited.

That emotional turbulence brought inspiration.

Doom-chit— doom-doom.

Like unpredictable Lunari, drums pouring out not on the beat but off-beat.

The sound of a drunk cat swinging its paws every which way, plucking and striking the bass strings, rocking up and down.

The frantically pouring chat became a glissando sweeping across the keys, chaotic.

It would be nice to express that annoying laugh with a kick drum too.

What would be good? Trumpet? Oh… not bad.

I thought as I stuck various virtual instruments into the composition program.

Yeah, the title should be the film-cut cat, 'Blackout Cat.'

Perfect for Lunari's fourth track.

"Ugh—"

A stabbing headache greeted Yu Nari as she woke.

"Auuugh, my head. Urgh— my stomach feels awful."

Clutching her head she staggered like a zombie to the fridge, pulled out cold water, and chugged it.

Gulp— gulp— gulp—

As Yu Nari's mind gradually returned she began fitting the lost puzzle pieces together.

I drank last night, and I turned on the stream…… huh?

Last night's disgrace poured out like a panorama.

"What the fuck…… kyaaaaaaaa"

What the hell did you do, you crazy bitch.