ChaeMone and a Sleepover Date (Part 2: Steak Mukbang)
-Alcohol?!
-Alcohol?!
-Huh?
-Graduation behavior
"It’s not graduation behavior. I mean... you know what I mean, right? Sometimes in movies or on TV, they put a glass of deep purple wine right next to the food like this, and I’ve always wanted to try it."
-Kyaa~
-Haruru knows what’s up
-As expected, a romantic at heart, lol
"I do have wine, though. Haruru, can you handle alcohol?"
"Aw, even if I can’t, one glass should be fine."
Probably.
-lol
-Here it comes
-If Haruru gets drunk, isn’t she gonna start cussing people out? whoa
[User123 has donated 1,000 won!]
[Broadcast accident 5 minutes away, whoa]
"No, I won’t. What do you people even take me for?"
-Bottomless pit
-Moocher
-Moocher
-Moron
"Hey! Do you want me to mute the chat, ChaeMone?"
"Haha."
ChaeMone went off somewhere to fetch the alcohol. Only then did I notice the shelves, lined with all kinds of wine and liquor. Even from a glance, everything looked expensive, which somehow made me shrink back on instinct.
"Hmm, which one should I pick? Still, just in case, I’ll go with something not too strong..."
"Uh, just soju or beer is fine."
"That’d be a bit much with steak."
-For real
-Haruru really doesn’t know alcohol, huh
-Soju or beer with steak? What kind of unholy combo is that, lol
"I wasn’t going to say this because I figured you’d bring up the investment thing again, but the drinks ChaeMone is picking look insanely expensive..."
[User123 has donated 1,000 won!]
"S-Shut up."
-lol
-Facts.
-Cute
[User123 has donated 1,000 won!]
"Wait, did nothing get sent because I said ‘shut up’? What is this? There’s nothing written, but somehow I can tell exactly what it was going to say."
-lololol
-That’s advanced-level trolling
-()
-Haruru, I love you
By then, ChaeMone had returned with a carefully chosen bottle of wine and a single wine glass.
"Come to think of it, are you not drinking, ChaeMone?"
"I’ve got work to do later. I need to finish it before tonight’s stream."
"You really do live busy. Running a company really isn’t for just anyone."
"Exactly. We’ve got second-generation talents now, so things have gotten much busier. There’s more money going out too, so I can’t afford to rest."
-Hmm...
-<<<
-<<<
-Bottomless-pit carry
"I don’t even know what to say."
"No, I’m not trying to make you feel bad. It’s just that you and Tama are both doing so well that I’m honestly too happy."
"Ah, well, I’m grateful for that too."
The president uncorked the wine and reached over to fill my glass, so I quickly took it with both hands and held it out politely.
"You don’t have to be that formal."
"Heehee."
-lol
-Such a polite young man
[User123 has donated 1,000 won!]
[Haruru seems to live recklessly, but she’s very respectful to her seniors, yeah]
-That’s so true lol
-Seemingly?
-She’s ridiculously polite to the older guild members
Maybe it was a habit formed from all the part-time jobs she had worked. Even if not, basic mutual courtesy was just common sense.
"ChaeMone, you should have a drink too. It’d be lonely if it’s just me..."
"Then water?"
"Wait a sec. I’ll dash off and grab some."
I already knew where everything was. All I had to do was take a wine glass from the shelf and get some water from the fridge. But then! Even after stretching my arm all the way out!
"Emergency! I can’t reach the wine glass!"
It was a good thing the stream camera was busy filming the steak we’d just made, because otherwise people would have seen this humiliating sight. I could not show this to anyone.
-lololol
-Haruru’s just a baby
-Hang in there
-Damn that wine glass
"Why is that damn glass hanging upside down from the ceiling like it’s a bat or something?"
"Ahaha. I’ll help. I’m tall for a woman, so I put them somewhere easy for me to reach..."
ChaeMone, tall for a woman, and me, absurdly tiny even for a woman. It was truly a perfect combination.
[This really is like a mother and daughter, lol]
-Agreed lol
-Haeeeng, Mom, please get the wine glass for me
-Haruru is adorable
-Your older sister is Sally, though lol
After the little wine-glass incident was over, I poured water into ChaeMone’s wine glass like a very attentive waiter.
"Wishing you a good Haruru day."
"Pfft. Right."
-ChaeMone is trying so hard not to laugh lol
-She said “good Haruru day” lololol
-As expected, the etiquette master Haruru
At last, it was time to actually eat the steak. But see, when I watch movies or TV, people slice it elegantly with a knife and eat it that way, and I’ve never actually done that before, so I feel like I’ll look ridiculous. What should I do? Screw it, I’ll just eat it.
Stab!
I picked up my fork and, like a proper macho man, jabbed the very center of the steak. And just as I was about to lift it and chomp down—
"H-Haruru. You’re supposed to cut it first."
-What the heck lol
-Kyaa~ Overkill on the steak lol
-Haruru’s macho steak-eating style
The flustered president picked up the fork and knife for me instead, then started cutting it into bite-sized pieces.
"I’m just not very good with knives."
Embarrassment surged through me so fast that I blurted out whatever came to mind.
"Ahh~ what a shame. If this had been investment-style content, it would’ve been legendary. I’m a pro at CoBLe, after all... You should consider yourself lucky, steak."
"Right. Right."
-lol
-lol
-Why can’t we get paid content here, though, lol
[A president who cuts your steak for you is rare. Hold on tight, Haruru]
"Exactly. I’m going to hold on tight. Even if you tell me to let go, I’ll cling on with my teeth clenched."
-lol
-That’s a bit much...
[Haruru the leech]
"You little punk! How many nicknames are you going to give me in one day?"
-Black in color? (o) Bloodsucker? (o) A leech in every sense of the word, whoa
-After Moocher and Bottomless Pit, now it’s Leech lol
[Haruru is just plain fun to tease]
-For real
-Even the Mayfly Dan has to admit that...
-She’s got real live-streaming talent
"Hmph. You jerks."
-She said hmph
-Cute
-Hmph lol
-Hmph
By then, ChaeMone had finished slicing the steak. Those juicy, neatly cut pieces of meat looked absolutely irresistible.
"Now eat."
[She probably can’t even use a fork]
"I can use a fork just fine."
Steak. What would it actually taste like?
As the tension hung in the air, I stabbed a piece and slipped it into my mouth.
"How is it?"
"Wow..."
It melted gently on my tongue, and every chew released another burst of juice that left my mouth feeling blissfully overwhelmed.
"This is amazing. So this is the kind of food that exists in the world. Why didn’t I know about it before? Ah, because I’ve been throwing all my money into Unknown Universe..."
-So you do know, huh
-But seriously, that must be delicious
-Haruru is living large today
-For some reason, her voice sounds like she’s reaching peak nihilism?
-Haruru’s intelligence is going up???
-Forget Unknown Universe, become a cooking mukbang VTuber already
"But if you think about it, food disappears after one meal. Unknown Universe stays with you for life. Unknown Universe wins!"
-Kyaa~
-Our great Haruru
-This girl is just, lol
-Is she though?
-That’s exactly what a moocher would say
-Peak nihilism, my ass lol
-Haruru’s brain has been thoroughly shattered!
"Next, I’ll cleanse my palate with a refreshing sip of alcohol, right after all that steak juice still lingering in my mouth."
Before that, I held out my wine glass to ChaeMone. It was my way of asking for a toast. She seemed to understand immediately and tapped her glass, filled with water, against mine.
Clink!
With that clear ringing sound, I was so happy that I shouted out the toast.
"Youth is right now—! Blue jeans!"
-Kyaa
-Kyaa
-Where does she even learn these things, lol
-Blue jeans lol
"Then, since there’s an elder present, let’s turn our bodies and drink..."
"It’s fine. Drink comfortably."
Glug.
Wine, the first I’d ever drunk in my life. Right from the swallow, it felt different from soju or beer. How should I put it? Like drinking grape juice with a little electric kick to it? But what was this? I’d only had one glass, and I already felt kind of woozy?
"Hee."
-???
-Hee lol
-Oh?
-Oh?
-Are you drunk after one glass?
-Cute
"Haruru, are you okay? That’s supposed to be weak stuff. I should’ve brought non-alcoholic wine..."
"Non-alcoholic wine is wine! I’m fine, so don’t worry."
Still, she looked worried, so I added that much.
"Okay, Haruru."
-lol
-Adorable
-Okay, Haruru (already drunk)
-OK-Haruru!
-Doesn’t seem okay at all
[Haruru’s alcohol tolerance: one glass of wine, whoa]
"The steak is so good, and the wine is so good too."
I didn’t feel drunk exactly, but my tongue kept tying itself in knots. It felt like I was repeating myself. Even the world in front of me was starting to sway. Still, the good news was that I wasn’t actually drunk. I’d been worried, but thankfully I seem to have a decent tolerance after all?
"Hee~ At the interview, when I said I’d become Shining Parade’s loyal dog! I’ll keep that in my heart forever. And now I’ll bark nice and loud one more time. Woof woof! Grrrrr... kiiieeng!"
-Hee~
-lololol
-She’s really drunk...
-Great Haruru
-Her form is insane, lol
Apparently pleased, ChaeMone smiled brightly.
"What am I going to do with our Haruru?"
"I’m happy you like me, so I’m happy too. JohaRuRu~!"
Come to think of it, I’ll be hitting 10,000 subscribers soon, right? Ten thousand subscribers might sound small to some, but to me it felt like a real achievement, proof that I’d finally accomplished something properly at last.
Whatever. Let’s just go big once.
"Here it is—my 10,000-subscriber promise. Current subscriber count... manager, how many subscribers do I have?"
-Kyaa~
-Is something big coming?
-One hundred million paid-content stream, whoa
I held up eight fingers.
"Okay. We’re currently at seven thousand subscribers..."
"Eight thousand."
"Ah. Hee~ Anyway."
The bigger the promise, the tighter the conditions. In other words, I’d be making a bunch of cool-sounding empty promises. Heh heh. If it’s not going to happen anyway, I might as well make a little show of it.
"If we hit 10,000 subscribers by the end of today, I’ll take what I learned from ChaeMone’s cooking stream today and apply it exactly. Maid half-cam cooking stream, let’s go!"
-Kyaa
-Oh
-Oh
-Seriously?
-Maid Haruru, whoa
You might say, what kind of macho man does maid cosplay? But it doesn’t matter—there’s no way it’ll happen anyway.
The view count was exploding, sure, but the subscriber count was climbing much more slowly; we’d only just barely reached 8,000. How could it possibly jump 2,000 in one day and hit 10,000?
"What should the menu be? Right. The spicy stir-fried pork ChaeMone made for me last time was delicious. I’ll add some wok hei and go with Victory-Flame Jeyukbokkeum."
-Jeyuk, whoa
-Does this place know how to stir-fry pork?
It wouldn’t become a maid half-cam after all, so instead I’d pretend to be disappointed and do the stir-fried pork stream I’d originally wanted to do. What a magnificent setup, a true fox move.
"So please give my NewTube lots of love, okay?"
-Daang
-lol
-I think this guy’s really drunk
-I can smell the alcohol
The next morning, I woke up staring at the familiar ceiling of my studio apartment. What... did I do? Why is yesterday so blurry?
At times like this, the trick is to remember what you did the day before. I usually drank because I was sad, but yesterday was different. For the first time in my life, I drank because I was happy.
I thought I hadn’t gotten drunk yesterday, but apparently I was hammered. My alcohol tolerance is so low that I got drunk from one weak glass of wine? Maybe I should just never drink at all.
Come to think of it, what did I even say while I was drunk yesterday? I feel like I said something really important. After thinking hard, I finally remembered.
I made that 10,000-subscriber promise. I said that if we hit it by the end of the day, I’d do a maid half-cam cooking stream.
"..."
Idiot. Drunk or not, why the hell would you make a promise like that!
But whether I should call it a blessing or a curse, the odds of it actually happening were absurdly low. Looking at the current subscriber trend, 10,000 would be a reach; we’d probably only get to 8,500, maybe 9,000. A disappointing failure, in other words.
Then I could sigh and say I’d do better next time, tossing out a harmless empty promise about wearing the maid outfit later. And even if we missed 10,000, I could still start the jeyukbokkeum cooking stream I’d planned to do. That way, the whole stream would end on a warm, wholesome note, right?
"Ha~ Even I have to admit I’m a genius."
That was when it happened.
Goddess's Grace (SSS) has activated!
Man proposes, heaven disposes.
Why is that suddenly going off? What’s there to even trigger? I was a little uneasy. If it was “Man proposes, heaven disposes,” then wait—could it be! Without thinking, my hand flew to my smartphone, and I checked my YouTube channel.
"Eeeh."