The New Guild Clash

"Ru-chan! Can I take your picture too? You're just too cute."

"Even so, pictures are a bit..."

Just clutching a pillow in a hamburger shop was already more than enough to handle. Besides, maybe it was just my imagination, but I felt like other people were staring at me too. Even the part-timer seemed to be looking at me with this oddly pleased expression!

"Then no coupon for you!"

"Graaah."

And so, with no choice at all, Mizuki took a flurry of photos of me. Then she showed me one where I had come out especially well.

A cute merch pillow, and a girl nearly as cute as the thing itself. This really was me. I thought I’d adapted pretty well by now, but seeing it in a photo made the whole thing feel painfully unreal.

"Ru-chan. You're cute. I want to hug you like a pillow when I sleep."

"Calm down..."

Mizuki still didn’t give up and turned her eyes to the boss, who was quietly eating fries.

"Wouldn't it be nice to make Ru-chan merchandise someday?"

"Merch takes a lot of work. It's too early for that now."

As expected of the boss, she was very matter-of-fact when it came to business. I’d done enough thirsty fan-girling of female streamers to know a little about merch myself. It took a ridiculous amount of effort, and the profits were basically scraping the bottom of the barrel. It wasn’t something you jumped into lightly.

"Still, merch can be a growth marker for a streamer, something that makes you feel, wow, I’ve really made it this far. All right. The two of you should keep working hard on stream, and once the channel gets bigger than it is now, let’s revisit it then."

"Yes! Okay. Let’s work even harder, Ru-chan. So I can sleep hugging a Haruru pillow!"

Somehow the priorities felt completely upside down, but whatever. If it’s good, it’s good. When I opened the hamburger wrapper, the boss lifted her phone this time, apparently wanting to take some photos too.

"I think if we post an 인증샷 of the merch, coupon, and hamburger to the cafe, the reaction will be good. Just sharing everyday life, and showing how serious we are about Unknown Universe."

"Sounds good."

"Then I want in too!"

"Sure. Let's all take one together."

Of course, there were no faces or bodies in the shot. We just arranged the hamburger, coupon, and merch on the table and took the picture. While doing so, the boss tossed in a joke.

"Won't this end up in the papers too?"

"Heh-heh. A newspaper article about eating hamburgers? That's basically celebrity-level."

"An article? Right, Ru-chan! I saw it too, and it was amazing. I don't really know games, but if it's the first of its kind in gaming... that means you must have put in an incredible amount of effort, right?"

When you thought about it, that wasn’t exactly wrong, was it? Being insanely lucky was just another way of saying you worked insanely hard, right?

"I used to play games a little too, not as much as Ru-chan, but still. I worked hard and got a diamond! And with it, I made a pickaxe once. Ru-chan's like that too, right?"

"Kh."

My throat suddenly felt dry, so I ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠swallowed a sip of cola. Our Mizuki really hadn’t been contaminated by the filthy gacha hell of pay-to-win misery after all. I hope she keeps that pure heart forever.

***

The next morning, starting today, I’d be streaming twice a day. Once in the morning. Once in the evening. The reason was guild recruitment.

In the morning, I wanted to recruit the real ones who would abandon even their actual lives for Unknown Universe. In the evening, I wanted the whales who finished work and still had the energy to play, the ones who’d already spent a decent amount.

[Stream Title: Shall We Run Again Today? Preparing for Unknown Universe's First New Guild Showdown! Recruiting Guild Members~]

-Ru-ha

-Ru-ha

-Hello, Haruru~

I greeted the viewers and went straight into the cafe. I wasn’t there to kill time; I wanted to check the comments under the new announcement I’d posted.

[Recruiting Unknown Universe guild members to join Haruru!]

"Let’s see. Did it get many comments?"

-There were a ton lol

-I sent in an application! Please take me

There were well over a hundred. Honestly, I hadn’t expected the response to be this hot, but these days every single day was hitting higher and higher, and I was ridiculously happy about it.

"I’ll boot up Unknown Universe right away... for the morning guild interviews..."

-Let the unemployed have a turn.

-Trying to juggle real life and Unknown Universe at the same time, huh.

-Take a day off.

"Come on now. Because of the guild showdown, I’ll be streaming twice a day for a while, morning and evening. My broadcast hours will basically more than double. Just apply then."

-Nice~

-Our Great Ru Ru

-I hope there’s a showdown every day haha

"Thank you. I'm serious about this, and I'm desperate for it!"

I did not want to go back to that filthy previous life.

"Please keep cheering me on."

-Yessssss

-Haruru! Haruru!

-For real, you can feel it, so I want to support you even more

"RuRuRuHaruruRu님 pllex~."

"What's there to explain about the hamburgar? Did something happen?"

-Ah, ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠that lol

-Hamburgar, whoa

-Huh, that incident

Apparently it wasn’t some huge scandal; it was just about the hamburger photo from yesterday.

[I ate a collab hamburger with the boss and Tama in Unknown Universe~]

[I also bought merch. It's cute.]

"Yeah. So what's the problem?"

-Huh!

-That does sound controversial

-Unknown Universe coupons are valid, though

"Coupons... whew. We came to a proper agreement."

The day Mizuki had squealed and snapped my picture flashed through my head like a reel of highlights.

"Still, if any of you don't like it, I can return them if you start playing Unknown Universe now."

-ㅋㅋㅋㅋ

-Who are you trying to drag into the pit?

-My bad, don’t make me try Unknown Universe

-Big Tama

-As expected, Tama is smart

-Yeah, one person is already enough to handle, if both of them do it the company pillars will get yanked out

One donation from someone mimicking Tama's speech.

For reference, I’d once told her she’d used 읍니다 wrong, but when she actually corrected the spelling in her comments, she said it felt less right than 읍니다, so she’s been sticking with 읍니다 ever since.

"Should I make my own way of speaking too? Like, from now on, attach Haruru to every ending, just like HelloHaruru. How’s thatHaruru? Is that okayHaruru?"

-Not reallyHaruru

-That’s a little too muchHaruru

-So cute lol

"I’m not Haruru... let's just get on with the morning guild interviews."

-lol

-Seems like she hit the wall

Once I logged into Unknown Universe and entered the capital planet, Pupuri, countless users were already greeting me as if they’d been waiting.

[SSS10EnhanceMage: Oh! She's here]

[WantToBeHaruru'sTail: Great Ru Ru]

Just a few days ago, I’d been forced to grit my teeth and ignore a sea of vicious nicknames. Now it was different. This was happiness, plain and simple.

"First, I’ll invite the only deputy guild master currently serving with me to help with the interviews, Monemone1123."

-The boss is here!

-Moneneunaaaaa

-You didn't try for +10, did you? ;;

Come to think of it, she hadn’t gone for +10 on her main, right? I asked right away, and she answered with a small laugh.

"Why would I try +10 if I don't even have a +9?"

Ah, right, right. She was hiding her strength. That kind of setup. Let’s make sure to respect it properly.

"Since the guild showdown is coming up soon, everyone in our Shining Parade guild, please stop doing anything that could lower your specs for a while, like reforging or changing avatar options."

-Yessssss

-For real, that's important

-At this point, isn't Moneneuna basically the path itself?

"And Haruru, I don't know how much showdown experience you have, but..."

"I know enough. Things like 'Would they really go this far?' are exactly what you have to prepare for thoroughly. War is like that."

-Whoa

-What kind of game is Unknown Universe even...

"Therefore, I declare this to all our guild members! Until Shining Parade's new guild showdown is over, we will enter 'consider everything' mode!"

-Consider everything lmao

-Wow, this is a real state of emergency

-Not one inch of error allowed, damn

"Haha, that's reassuring. As expected of the guild master."

"All right. Let's keep this momentum and find some guild members."

The first interview candidate was a ranged DPS with high combat power and a lot of experience all over the place. But he got caught by Insight.

If he had a trait that openly labeled him evil, was this guy some kind of criminal?

"Hello. I'm Juma, and I'm building a ranged DPS character."

I exchanged the usual greetings and sized him up. But as always, would a scammer ever say, I am a scammer? He had hidden his malice perfectly.

"Well, you don't look too bad. What do you think, Haruru?"

"If you take me, I'll work hard!"

"...Wait a second."

So he’d changed his nickname. More importantly, this ability could even see traces that don’t remain in the game? Incredible. I immediately searched the old nickname on the internet.

"Previous nickname, Tsugamushi. It says here he was a real-money trading scammer."

"..."

He went quiet for a moment, then blurted out something all over the place.

"W-what are you talking about? Why is Tsugamushi coming up all of a sudden?"

I ignored him and asked the viewers.

"Anyone here play Unknown Universe and know anything about Tsugamushi? Check this guy against it. See if it's real or not."

"..."

Then, out of nowhere, he quit the game. In slang, that’s called rage-quitting. Watching that scene, I answered in a low voice.

"Scam bait removed."

-Niceeee

-How did you figure that out, damn

-Great Ru Ru even catches scammers laundering their names

I couldn’t exactly say I’d used Insight, so I told them it was viewer tip-off.

"Oh? Really? Good. Then it's time for our Shining Parade legal team to move in. If any victims are watching, please contact us."

-Great Ru Ru

-Nice~ hunting scammers while recruiting guild members too

-This time you won't escape by changing your nickname lol

-Serves him right lol

"I'm sorry. I should have checked more carefully. We almost let a scammer use our guild."

"Why is Moneneuna apologizing? The bad one is the scammer. Don't worry about it and let's keep going."

This time, a newbie who had started just a few days earlier began introducing himself. But then...

Heh. What kind of deliciously ridiculous show is this now?

Because I have fully transcended SSS-grade Mika and even a +10 necklace, did he think he had no chance if he faced me head-on and decided to use a trick like this?

I should reject him immediately...

No, wait. What if I turned this around and used him instead?