This Is Going Too Far

Across Heaven and the mortal world alike, the place that held the rarest of secret treasures was the warehouse of the Jade Emperor's palace — the Ziwei Palace Vault.

The name alone made it obvious this was no ordinary storeroom. The interior of the Ziwei Palace Vault was vaster than the mortal realm itself. The ceiling was the sky and the floor was the earth, which made it, quite literally, another world.

Some even said that after the Underworld, the Heavens, and the mortal world, there was the Ziwei Palace Vault. There were immortals who had wandered in, lost their way, and never found the exit again for the rest of their lives.

Woo?

"What is it, Somersault Cloud?"

An immortal who had lost his way in the Ziwei Palace Vault centuries ago — and who had, by this point, simply taken up residence there — rounded his eyes. The Somersault Cloud had lifted its front end and was tilting what passed for its head.

The idea of a featureless lump of white cloud tilting its head was a little funny, admittedly. But there it was.

To the immortal, this cloud was the only companion that made the loneliness of the vault bearable, and worry rose in him at once.

"Is something the matter?"

The Somersault Cloud tipped its head this way and that for a long moment, then gave it a vigorous shake.

The immortal was not convinced.

"It seems important."

Woo-woo.

A firm shake of the head.

"Truly? Your master isn't calling for you?"

Woo-woo!

More vehement this time.

"...Is your master not Teacher Sun?"

WOO-WOO-WOO-WOO-WOO!

The frantic whipping of its head looked less like a denial than a full-blown panic. The startled immortal threw up both hands to calm it.

"Ah — I understand. Yes, yes. Nothing happened here. Come, stay with me and we'll ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠recite a little poetry."

Woo!

The Somersault Cloud let out a sigh of pure relief.

...Why is that insane monkey suddenly calling for me and making such a racket?

Meanwhile, Sun Wukong — who had no possible way of knowing the Somersault Cloud's private circumstances — never once imagined that his own mount was refusing its master's summons.

His train of thought rolled on, naturally enough, in an entirely different direction.

"Damn it all!"

He slammed a foot into the ground hard enough to crack it and roared at the sky.

"You're really going to do me like this?! Guanyin! You heartless old—! I'm actually disgusted!"

Huh? You dump me in the mortal world on a whim, and then what? You can't even lift a finger to help, and now you've locked me out of the Somersault Cloud too?

Both of Sun Wukong's clenched fists trembled.

Then again, she always had been a few peaches short of a basket. She'd sent him all the way to India for the scriptures and, instead of helping him get there faster, she'd clapped the Golden Tightening Fillet on his head and done nothing but get in his way.

"I swear — I swear — I am not letting you off, Guanyin. I'm burning Mount Potalaka to the ground."

What, you think I'm still that Sun Wukong from back then? The one who couldn't even ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠jump out of the Buddha's palm?

He was still in the middle of this magnificent tirade when a whisper slipped into his sharply tuned ears.

"Uh, boss."

"Mm."

"Is that guy all right?"

"His head sure doesn't look all right."

"Even lunatics don't come in this flavor of lunatic. What's a Somersault Cloud? What even is a Somersault Cloud?"

"You hear him just now? He said he was the Great Sage, Equal to Heaven. That's the Sun Wukong from Journey to the West, isn't it?"

"That's the one. The folktale about the monkey who escorted Tang Sanzang to the Western Regions. Heard it all the time as a kid."

Sun Wukong's ears pricked up.

What, my story got passed down as a folktale?

That was actually kind of interesting. The "lunatic" talk had made his temper spike for a second, but he held still and kept listening.

"He's not the real Sun Wukong, though, right?"

"Come on, boss, use your head. Sun Wukong? He's just a crazy bastard with shit-colored hair."

"Yeah. Just a lunatic."

"If you're going to impersonate someone, at least pretend to be the Emperor. Who tries to pass themselves off as the Great Sage, Equal to Heaven? That title's useless. What is he, a child?"

"True enough. Not like pretending to be a monkey gets you anything."

"If you ask me, he's worse than the story. That dung-water hair makes him look even more unhinged. We need to read the room and run."

"Run?"

"Yes, boss. First I'll draw his eyes, and when you see an opening—"

"It worked."

"What? It wor— hieeeek!"

Drawing his attention. Yes. They had absolutely nailed that part.

Sun Wukong turned a burning stare on them.

"You know that?"

"...Gulp."

"Even that so-called madman, the Great Sage, Equal to Heaven — they say using the Golden Tightening Fillet took most of the fight out of him."

"G-Great Hero—!"

What did these little shits just say? Dung-water hair? Hah.

"P-please forgive us!"

Sun Wukong watched them fling themselves flat and grovel, and let out a long breath. He considered teaching them a lesson on the spot, then felt the fight drain out of him all at once.

What's the Great Sage, Equal to Heaven of all the world doing picking fights with a bunch of humans?

His own situation struck him, suddenly, as ridiculous. Losing his temper at a couple of bandits. Teacher Sun, the Great Sage, Equal to Heaven himself. Everything had become too much of a bother. He flicked a hand at them.

"Forget it. Hey. Sideburns."

"Yes, Great Hero!"

"You know the way to the Namgung Clan Estate?"

"I... I do, yes."

"What are you waiting for? Lead."

"..."

No answer. Sun Wukong folded his arms and stared.

Sideburns fidgeted, glancing around, and finally managed to open his mouth.

"W-well, you see, I, uh — I'm the chief of the bandits on Mount Hayeon."

"Mm. Impressive. Want me to say I'm jealous?"

"Even so, a man has his pride. How is a bandit chief supposed to just walk away from his own stronghold? A proper boss keeps his seat warm and wears a dignified expression. That's the job."

Sun Wukong's eyes flashed.

"Of course, in this day and age a chief has to set an example and move around himself! Besides, Sparrow-Eyes and I are both unattached. I'll escort you to the Namgung Clan Estate at once!"

The speed at which his attitude flipped was almost a match for the Somersault Cloud.

Sun Wukong cackled and tipped his face to the sky.

"I'll find Sanzang and be back up there before you know it, so you'd better be ready. Guanyin."

Sideburns and Sparrow-Eyes edged a little farther away, sneaking looks at Sun Wukong. His head kept whipping this way and that. They couldn't help marveling that a neck could be that flexible.

The trouble was, the whole performance looked exactly like a country bumpkin seeing a city for the first time, and honestly...

"This is kinda humiliating, boss."

"Shh! That son of a bitch — ahem. I mean, that gentleman has sharp ears."

"Everyone's staring, which makes it even worse."

"You wouldn't stare? A foreigner with yellow hair and pupils that look like somebody jammed flakes of gold into his eyes, walking around like that?"

"M-maybe we should pretend we're not with him."

"Now that's a good idea."

Sun Wukong heard every word of the muttering behind him and did not care. What had stolen his attention was the scenery.

"There's a filthy lot of them. A filthy lot."

Would you look at that. Humans here, humans there.

He clicked his tongue. Everywhere he set his eyes, there they were. In the old days you could go a long time without seeing a person. There simply hadn't been that many of them.

Though there were quite a few more by the time Sanzang and I headed for India.

Even then he'd thought, well, they've multiplied. But now...

The demons are gone, so of course they're living it up.

A mortal world without yaoguai was a human world.

"No predators left, so they bred like crazy. Just went and multiplied."

That was what happened, wasn't it, once there was nothing left to be afraid of and your belly was full and your back was warm. Tch.

"They're swarming."

"Fewer than usual, actually."

"This is fewer?"

Sideburns nodded.

"What is this, then, the city where the Emperor lives?"

"The Emperor? Pfft. This place is prosperous enough in its own right, but it's a whole different world from the imperial capital where His Majesty sits."

He said this, and then, dropping his voice, added a mutter.

"Of course, the way you're reacting is exactly like a country bumpkin who just got to the capital..."

"Say it in your head, kid. Don't mutter it out loud."

"Sorry. I'll insult you silently from now on."

Sun Wukong lifted a fist. Sideburns hurriedly stepped out in front.

"This way, please. I'm a local around here. I'll take you by the fastest road — comfortably, and at high speed."

"Didn't you say you were a Shaolin lay disciple?"

"Wherever you settle down and grow attached, that's your hometown."

Well. He had a silver tongue, you had to give him that. Either he had no fear or, for a bandit chief, he had more nerve than sense.

Sun Wukong snorted and shook his head.

What did it matter that there were more humans now?

He just needed to find Sanzang's soul as soon as possible, and—

"Uh...?"

Wait.

A distinctly unpleasant thought had just slid across his mind.

So. Find Sanzang's soul, and...

No. Find the body the soul had slipped out of first. If the body died while the soul was still missing, that would be a disaster. He had to protect it until the soul was found.

And ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠the ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠soul certainly hadn't just fallen out on its own. Someone had stolen it with some bizarre art. Which meant that to find the soul, he also had to catch the culprit.

Which meant—

"...out of this filthy lot of humans."

This is such bullsh—!

A cold line of sweat ran down Sun Wukong's spine. The chill of it was real.

"Hey. How many humans are there in this country?"

"How would I know that...? Sparrow-Eyes. You know?"

"I don't really know either, but the talk in the marketplace is sixty million, seventy million, something like that."

"..."

Ah.

"Guanyin. You really..."

Did you actually need to go that far to feel better about yourself?

Wow. He was so pissed he couldn't even get the words out.

Sun Wukong's mouth opened and closed a few times. Then his head dropped.

He was definitely going to have to burn Mount Potalaka. One way or another.

This was not going to be easy. All right. Start with finding Sanzang's body.

Guanyin said that even with the soul gone, he wouldn't look any different from the outside.

It wasn't as though a missing soul left the body lying there like a corpse in a coma.

Sanzang's soul is of a grade no human can compare to. She said even a trace of it is enough to keep the body moving.

A trace — or, to put it less prettily, the dregs of a soul.

With nothing more than that, the body would walk and live as if nothing were wrong. That was Sanzang: the most exalted nature there was. The problem was time. If the soul did not return when it should, the emotions would drain away, the body would become so much meat, and in the end...

It would rot.

The soul was no better off. A soul without a body meant a soul with no wall left to protect it.

It would wear away, and wear away, until...

It vanished.

Not reincarnation. Complete erasure from the world.

Wiped away. Every trace. Every record of karma accumulated across lifetime after lifetime of the great cycle.

Sun Wukong dragged his hands down his face.

"Hah. It's not like this is the first or second time."

Sanzang was always getting kidnapped. Demon disguises, tricks, every strange art you could name — he fell for all of them.

Every single time, Sun Wukong had found him in the end, and gotten him out.

After enough repetitions, even that brat Sanzang had stopped looking frightened.

He never once owned up to having fallen for a demon's trick, and that shameless laughter had, over time, driven Sun Wukong completely up the wall. Once, his irritation had climbed so high he'd told Sanzang to crawl out on his own.

And then those big eyes would well up, and—

"W-Wukong? S-save me! Now see here, Wukong! Get me out of here before I chant the Tightening Fillet Mantra and crush that skull of yours!"

Hah.

He could see it. That face gone paper-white, tears standing in the eyes.

Sanzang...

Kidnapping wasn't enough anymore, so now he'd gone and lost his soul?

His own lot in life struck him as so pitiable that Sun Wukong's shoulders sagged.

But what else was he going to do?

The face of that crybaby, wailing in terror, rose behind his eyes.

Sun Wukong ground his teeth.