Does He Even Have Parents?
"Why the hell are you blubbering all of a sudden?"
Because of you. It's all your fault, you bastard.
Sideburns wanted nothing more than to crawl into a hole and vanish. Everyone around them was staring, whispering. What he could catch of it was all lunatic this and drunk that. Sun Wukong's ears were sharp enough to hear every word, but he sat there looking perfectly unbothered.
"So you... you do understand everything about the Namgung Clan now, right?" Sideburns asked, letting out a sigh.
Sun Wukong had given a brief summary, but when was the world ever that simple? The full story was considerably more complicated.
The Namgung Clan. Heroes of the martial world — or bloodless, tearless, ruthless Sword Fiends, depending on who you asked. Two utterly contradictory gazes fell upon them.
From the outset, they had commanded the most formidable fighting strength in the entire righteous martial world — not merely among the Five Great Clans, but even when the Nine Sects and One Gang were counted. When the Sama Order, the coalition of the unorthodox factions, prepared for their decisive war against the righteous sects, it was obvious whose power they needed to break first.
They had prepared for a long time. Countless spies were planted inside the Namgung Clan, and from within, they slowly dug their pits. When the conflict erupted, the first blades naturally turned toward the Namgung. Through years of traps, poison, and meticulously orchestrated schemes, the clan suffered catastrophic losses in the opening stages of the Great War between the Orthodox and Unorthodox.
The rising generation — the clan's future — was annihilated. Direct bloodline and cadet branches alike. The Namgung name had always been sparsely sown, and now the clan's very existence hung in the balance.
The survivors shed tears of blood and set out for vengeance.
What the Sama Order had failed to account for was that the previous clan lord, Namgung Jincheon, was already a peerless master approaching the rank of the greatest under heaven — contrary to every rumor that circulated through the jianghu. And that was not all. The handful who had lived through those elaborate traps were, every last one of them, extraordinary experts.
They became merciless revenants of vengeance, and beneath their blades the Sama Order crumbled. If there was even the slightest connection, their swords never hesitated to draw blood. Even if those people had nothing whatsoever to do with the martial world.
A merchant who supplied goods to the Sama Order? They took his head. Farmers who delivered grain? They cut off both legs. Craftsmen who forged their swords and spears? They severed both hands.
The cruelty ran so deep that Shaolin and Wudang themselves stepped in, clashing with the Namgung Clan even as the Great War still raged. The blood-soaked vendetta that spanned the entire war ended, at last, with the Sama Order's defeat.
"The problem came after the war was over."
At Sideburns' words, Sun Wukong roughly grasped the situation.
"Revenge has a way of spreading."
"Oh, that's a pretty good way of putting it. Exactly. When the Namgung Clan carried out their vendetta, the people caught up in it were far too varied. They killed so many — and plenty of innocent folks got swept up and died for nothing."
Blood begets blood. The Namgung Clan's desperate campaign of vengeance had sown new grudges in its wake. A great many people now had the clan in their sights. Not just the unorthodox factions, but sects entangled through all manner of interests on both sides of the righteous-unorthodox divide — and even factions within the righteous martial world itself.
"Man, you humans sure make life complicated. The Namgung Clan must've had a hell of a headache. Their losses were huge, so their power was already gutted."
"Yes. Of course, they had the greatest under heaven, and the surviving Namgung clansmen were all battle-hardened veterans — each one a top-tier expert of the martial world — so nobody could move against them lightly. But if the numbers gap is enormous enough, even that becomes a joke. And among the righteous sects, they were being quietly ostracized, to boot."
And so what the Namgung Clan chose was the system of guest retainers.
"The guest retainers alone are said to rival another of the Five Great Clans. Some people even call them the Six Great Clans."
That gave some idea of the scale. Sun Wukong nodded.
"So the only way I'm getting in is as a guest retainer."
Not just anyone, however, could stay at the Namgung Clan as a guest retainer. There were conditions. High renown, for instance.
"Well, that condition's a non-starter."
"Hey, I'm the Great Sage, Heaven's Equal."
"Then show me the Somersault Cloud."
"...There's, uh, circumstances with that."
"And where's the Ruyi Jingu Bang?"
"That too..."
"And you expect me to believe you're the Great Sage, Heaven's Equal?"
Come on, now. That was just cold, not trusting a guy like that.
"Hah. If it weren't for that lunatic Guanyin..."
If only the Somersault Cloud would show up, this wouldn't even be an issue.
The Ruyi Jingu Bang... well, that's on me, so I've got nothing to say there.
No, wait. Guanyin was still the bitch here. Anyway, she was the bad one.
At this point, Sun Wukong suddenly went limp. Honestly, he was sick of the whole thing. Why not just kick the door down and tell them to hand over Sanzang? Why did everything have to get this complicated?
Screw it. Should he just flip the whole damn table?
Sun Wukong seriously considered storming the Namgung Clan.
Ahh, no.
Hot-blooded and impulsive as he was, he was never stupid.
The problem is I can't find Sanzang right away.
In the end, every problem came back to Sanzang. The only trace, the only evidence, was the Namgung Clan itself. If he charged in openly and then failed to find Sanzang, the mess afterward would be a nightmare.
For now, the best option was to infiltrate the Namgung Clan as a guest retainer. Watch and wait, take his time, and find Sanzang. Which meant he needed to raise his reputation.
"Based on my experience, the answer's usually just splitting the skull of some famous bastard."
"..."
Sideburns gave him a look that had gone distinctly sour.
What? It was true. You just beat the crap out of people, that was how it worked. Back in the Celestial Realm, he had pounded every immortal and heavenly general that came down the moment they showed their faces, and that was how he got famous.
"Well... he's not exactly wrong."
Sideburns scratched at his jaw. The simplest way to make a name in the jianghu was to beat someone whose strength was already the stuff of legend. And to really drive it home, say...
"You fight the famous ones from the demonic path."
"The demonic path, huh. You mean bastards like Guanyin?"
Just what kind of being was Guanyin to Sun Wukong? Sideburns had heard so much cursing of her name that he suddenly found himself thinking he ought to visit a temple and offer a prayer one of these days, before heaven took offense.
"You'll get struck by heavenly lightning talking like that. Anyway, if you catch some Wulin Public Enemies, you'll get famous overnight."
At the answer that tumbled out on a stream of consciousness, Sun Wukong's face twisted.
"Wulin Public Enemies?"
"Yes. Someone like Sa Hyeol-cheol-gwi, for instance... ah."
A brief silence settled. Sun Wukong's brow slowly furrowed.
"Hey."
"Yes, Great Hero."
"Why are you only telling me this now?"
"Pardon?"
"Something that important, and you're bringing it up now?"
"Well..."
You never asked, you maniac.
Sideburns had his own grievances.
"I mean, a man who says he's going to the Namgung Clan, and he doesn't even know a fact like that? How does that make sense?"
He was going to just show up without knowing any of this? It wasn't as if he'd been invited. There wasn't even an appointment.
"And who in the entire world catches a Wulin Public Enemy and then just lets him go?"
Huh? What kind of lunatic captures a public enemy and then sets him free?
Sun Wukong sighed and raised a hand. Sideburns, who had been airing his grievances, flinched.
"Hey. Did I let him go?"
"Pardon?"
"Didn't you lose him while you were supposed to be watching him?"
"Excuse me?"
"There's a limit to turning things around on someone. And you're getting all worked up about it?"
"Perhaps that..."
Doesn't he have any?
The unfilial words nearly slipped out, but Sideburns bit them back.
"You little shit. All mouth, no substance."
No. He couldn't hold it in.
"Perhaps... you don't have any?"
"Don't have any what?"
"Ah. Apparently not. If you did, they wouldn't have raised you with such a complete absence of manners."
Sun Wukong didn't quite follow, but it put him in a vaguely foul mood, so he smacked Sideburns across the back of the head. A satisfying crack rang out, and Sideburns clutched his skull and hopped in place.
Sun Wukong clicked his tongue.
"Ah, this is getting annoying."
"I thought you knew all of this when you captured Sa Hyeol-cheol-gwi. That bastard has a history of killing Namgung blood relatives — the grudge runs deep. If you'd taken him to the Namgung Clan, they would've thrown the gates wide open and welcomed you."
"..."
Sun Wukong's expression turned peculiar. Was it just his imagination, or did that tone sound like he was being scolded for not knowing that either?
Thwack!
"Aaagh! Why— why are you hitting me again?"
"Just felt like it. You were pissing me off."
Sideburns mumbled something as if he wanted to retort, then swallowed his anger. He really doesn't have any... he definitely doesn't — the muttered words drifted over, but Sun Wukong ignored them and closed his eyes.
"The bastard's on a boat right now. Mulberry trees all along the banks."
At the sudden landscape description, Sideburns tilted his head.
"A river like that... that would be a waterway heading toward Anhui Province."
He was honestly startled. Sun Wukong's description was so precise it was as if he had stood on those banks himself. A chill ran down his spine. Catching Sideburns' reaction, Sun Wukong cackled.
"I am the Great Sage, Heaven's Equal. From where I sit, I can see a thousand li. Ten thousand li."
"...You can actually see it? Am I supposed to believe that?"
Wait. Was it real? Did that even make sense? But the description was identical to someone who had actually been there. Sideburns was thoroughly confused.
"Anyway, Anhui Province — that's where the Namgung Clan is, right? Good. At least our paths haven't split."
"Even so, how are we supposed to catch up? We needed to capture him and turn him over to the Wulin Alliance for the sailing ban to be lifted."
Sun Wukong replied as if it were nothing.
"You're a good swimmer."
"How do you know I'm a good swimmer?"
"You said you were a river pirate."
"Ah. I did mention that. But how am I supposed to catch a moving boat by swimming?"
"Back in the old days, it wouldn't have been a problem."
"The old days?"
By now, Sideburns barely even batted an eye. Conversations with this man had a way of veering off somewhere, but if he got hung up on every one of those moments, he would lose his mind. Whether the phrase "no-mind" applied here, he wasn't sure — but it was better to let it in one ear and out the other.
"Yeah. You used to swim like a damn fish."
Sideburns shook his head and turned away.
"I'll find us a boat. Even with the sailing ban, there's bound to be a fishing boat or two sneaking out."
"You really can't catch up by swimming? You used to be a real water ghost, you know."
"What on earth are you talking about?"
"In the water, nobody could match you."
Sideburns cocked his head.
How the hell does he know I'm good at diving?
The remarks tossed out so casually, as if testing him, set Sideburns thinking. He was certain he had never met this man before. A presence this intense — there was no way he would forget it. And yet, in another sense, the man did not feel entirely like a stranger either. Somehow, it felt like someone he had known for a long, long time.
Bewildered by the confusion rising in his mind, Sideburns stared at Sun Wukong. As if he could read every thought, Sun Wukong beamed at him, bright and clear.
Sa Hyeol-cheol-gwi rolled his bloodshot eyes uneasily.
"Can't you move any faster?"
He thrust a heavy saber as thick as a forearm at the fisherman, threatening him. The fisherman, dragged out without warning in the pre-dawn dark and forced to sail, felt his mouth go bone-dry.
Protesting that a sailing ban was in effect and he couldn't take the boat out had been utterly useless. When his nephew's forearm was severed for resisting, the fisherman realized this man was a Wulin Public Enemy.
What choice did he have? Before dawn broke, he had to drive the boat, rowing himself half to death and catching whatever wind he could. But a fishing boat was still a fishing boat. It was never going to be fast.
Sa Hyeol-cheol-gwi knew that perfectly well, but he simply could not sit still.
"That goddamn shit-haired bastard..."
Just thinking about it made his teeth grind. At the same time, fear surged in like a rising tide.
He's strong. Damnably strong.
He had never dreamed he would be taken down without even landing a blow. Honestly, even now, he had no idea what martial art the man had used.
He's not someone I can handle.
He admitted it frankly. This was an opponent he could not defeat with his own strength. He had even lost the item.
Damn it. I didn't want to go crawling to that wretched bastard for help...
It was beyond him alone.
Sa Hyeol-cheol-gwi was vicious, but he was also coldly pragmatic. If something was too big to swallow, he was not the kind of snake that would tear its own mouth open trying to force it down. That was how he had survived this long after being branded a public enemy.
That brutish bastard's skill is first-rate, if nothing else. If we cooperate...
If he returned to his lord like this, he would be in for a world of pain. No — even if it didn't come to that, he would certainly disappoint him. Sa Hyeol-cheol-gwi decided to swallow his pride.
Paradoxically, if I capture that shit-haired freak whose identity is suspicious as hell and offer him up, it might even count as a great merit.
After all, the man had seemed to know the purpose of an item that only his lord was supposed to understand.
Bzzzzzt!
Smack!
Sa Hyeol-cheol-gwi swept a hand through the air and frowned.
"Why the hell are there so many goddamn flies?"
He muttered that everything had gotten as irritating as a swarm of buzzing flies, and bit down on his lip — never once considering that a fly had just evaded the swipe of a Peak Realm expert.