I'm a Plastic Surgeon, You Know?
Hiss— Bang! Bang! Clang! Bang! Bang! Bang!
The ferocious hammering echoed from the workbench. Even squinting hard at it, I still couldn't wrap my head around it. Why the hell were they hammering to make a syringe?
Don't bother getting curious about fields you know nothing about. You won't get it anyway—this is another world.
"Here it is, Master."
"Impressive as always. Let the client take a look too."
"Of course."
Lonely Hammer grinned broadly and handed me the prototype his disciple had made.
No way...! It's no different from what Lonely Hammer made... no, it's even better!
The sample I'd given them was a 3cc syringe. From the plunger seal to the needle, Luer lock tip, needle cap, barrel, rubber gasket inside the barrel, finger flange, plunger rod, thumb rest, and even the scale markings—his disciple had replicated it perfectly.
"You said your disciple's name is Hot Hammer? Then let me—"
"I have no interest in making these trivial gadgets. I only did the prototype because Master asked."
"...Pardon?"
But before I could finish, Hot Hammer—with his thick tawny beard—spat out his refusal and turned to Lonely Hammer.
"You know, Master. I only take commissions for weapons."
"Hot Hammer, raising your fame through weapons alone isn't the pinnacle of blacksmithing. The client says this is medical equipment."
"Medical equipment... My mind hasn't changed. No, I don't even know what it's for, but calling it medical makes me want it even less."
"Heh..."
Hot Hammer finished his piece and hobbled back to his spot, leaning on his crutch.
"Sorry about that. I brought him just in case, but among my disciples, he's the most skilled—his only flaw is he ignores anything that's not weapons. You'll have to ask the others—"
Thud!
As Lonely Hammer pushed my thigh again to shove me out of the workshop, Hot Hammer slipped on his crutch and crashed down.
"Whoa! You okay?"
"I'm fine. Leave me be."
Res, who'd been quietly perched on my shoulder, flapped his tiny wings and approached Hot Hammer. But he just grumbled curtly, grabbed his crutch, and stood back up.
"Does your leg hurt? Then Miner could probably help."
"Ha! Fix my leg? You call that talk?"
"Eek!"
Hot Hammer snorted angrily, and startled Res bolted back to my shoulder like a shot.
"My leg's deformed! Can't you see? What nonsense is this?!"
"N-no! Miner’s a genius doctor! He’s never failed to cure anything! I saw it in the Beauty Tower guidebook—he does surgery to lengthen short legs!"
"...What?"
Was it like how a timid kid gets brave behind Mom? Res, who couldn't utter a peep in front of Hot Hammer, now peeked from behind my neck and chirped away.
"It's true, Miner! The guidebook you had me translate! It was in the orthopedics section!"
"Tch! Enough, Res. The brochure is for human surgeries."
And orthopedic ones at that. Not my specialty, so I hurriedly calmed Res and awkwardly averted my eyes from the dwarves.
"My apologies. Let's ask someone else for the production."
No matter how skilled Hot Hammer was, forcing an unmotivated guy would ruin even a sure thing. Better to go with Cold Hammer for now, even if he was a step down.
"W-wait! Hold on!"
"...?"
"Is what that hatchling said true? You can lengthen legs?!"
Hot Hammer tossed his crutch aside and limped toward me, his voice full of desperate hope. It made my conscience twinge uncomfortably. I barely resisted smacking Res on the forehead for his nonsense and opened my mouth.
"Sorry. Res misspoke. Limb-lengthening surgery does exist, but it's strictly for humans. I've never done it on non-humans, so I can't."
Deep down, I wanted to boldly claim I could fix Hot Hammer's leg. Solving that would unlock our biggest bottleneck: disposable medical tools. But even a money-grubbing bastard like me knows some surgeries are off-limits. I knew the procedure inside out, but dwarves had vastly different body proportions from humans.
"Don't worry. Dwarf anatomy is closer to humans than to elves. We're just shorter overall—no elven ageless skin or anything."
The dragon dude listening quietly from the side suddenly chimed in.
"He says it's similar, so just do it! Practice in the VR surgery room!"
"Hey, cut it out! Different species means different anatomy, taxonomy, everything! We don't know the differences—I can't just wing it—"
"P-please! Help me, I beg you! I'll make anything you want! Please!"
"...?"
Before I could finish scolding Res, Hot Hammer limped over, grabbed my pant leg with his trembling hands, and burst into sobs.
Damn it... I'm a plastic surgeon, you know?
Dermatology stuff like Botox or fillers overlapped a bit, fine. I'd even done dental work lately. But orthopedic surgery? The pinnacle of difficulty: limb-lengthening? No way in hell, even if my neck was on the line. I'm a real doctor who puts patient health and life first.
* * *
"Oh my! You're Hot Hammer, Lonely Hammer's prized disciple? I'm Cache! Nice to meet you—hope we get along!"
"Hot Hammer was the nickname Master gave me. My name's Kellogg. Pleased to meet you."
...But as they say, nothing goes as planned. I never dreamed I'd end up doing a surgery I wasn't keen on.
Life, huh... Never thought I'd operate on a non-human. Well, it's another world—can't be helped.
After meeting Kellogg in Breath of Fire, I'd firmly refused his surgery request. But three days later, here we were, back at the Beauty Tower together.
Hard to believe even watching it. He up and left the home he grew up in, just like that.
After brief greetings with the friendly Cache and the rest of the Beauty Tower staff, I showed Kellogg his new home: Basement Level 5.
"Um... There are half-elves living right above, but that's okay?"
"No issue. I'll keep the tools from getting damaged, and I'll set up a soundproof workshop inside so noise doesn't leak."
"No, I mean, there's no bed or anything..."
"It's fine. I can make my own."
"... "
The half-elves were one thing, but I never imagined Kellogg would want to bunk in the underground parking garage.
"Even if you stay in the parking garage for the month of work, you'll need to be in a patient room post-surgery. As I said, limb-lengthening isn't over after the op—you need follow-ups, rehab, the works."
"Hm... This size is splendid."
...This guy's not even listening.
Three days ago, as Kellogg stroked his tawny beard and scanned Basement 5, here's how I ended up taking his case.
"As a kid, I dropped a hammer wrong and broke my leg. Never got proper treatment, so the injured one grew deformed—bent even."
"Tragic, but that doesn't mean I can—"
"I already get treated at the magic tower every year."
"Pardon? What? Where?"
"The mages amputate the leg and cast growth magic to extend it. I nearly die each time, but since turning 18, I do it annually."
"If I may ask, your age?"
"Twenty-two this year."
"... "
He looked forty-two—no, fifty-two wouldn't raise eyebrows. But at 22, that meant four rounds of that hellish surgery since 18. The deep scars on his calves looked like crash wounds—but they were saw marks. Chills ran down my spine just imagining it.
They sawed the good leg to match lengths, and butchered the short one too. Both crooked now.
Back in the day, limb discrepancy fixes shortened the longer bone—easier and safer than lengthening. The magic tower quacks clearly did that: shortened the good leg, then sawed and gapped the short one for "extension." No wonder both were wrecked.
Goddamn, it's a miracle he's still walking.
No matter how I sliced it, their "care" was a death sentence. Better me with anesthesia than that butchery. Leaving it would just hasten his end—not fix the length.
"Set your stuff down and let's head up. I'll review the dwarf anatomy and medical texts you gave me, but first, we need a full scan."
"Very well."
As we rode the elevator for the precise exam, I recalled our deal.
First: For one month, Kellogg crafts our medical supplies at the Beauty Tower.
Second: During that time, I prep everything for his leg surgery.
Third: Once fully recovered, he serves as our exclusive blacksmith for a year.
Not planned, but our tool crisis was solved—the continent's top smith was ours.
"Blood pressure first."
"Blood pressure? What's that?"
"Stick your arm in here. I'll explain everything."