Your Skills Suck.
“If you get it, then get lost. Unless you want to be misunderstood.”
Rachel's contemptuous glare was one thing, but her claim that they had a cure threw me into even greater confusion.
The cure for syphilis was penicillin. And the production of penicillin was the most guarded secret known only to three people in my hospital, the Beauty Tower: Rebecca, Hazel, and Stella.
How the hell did they get their hands on the cure?
I hadn't even sold any meds yet to Mac Dollar, the Tower Master of the Tower of Truth, with whom I'd agreed to consign modern medical equipment for sale—my medical training for him wasn't even complete.
“Could I see the cure Ms. Rachel is talking about?”
That's why I had to verify it. Make sure it was the real deal.
“You're so damn persistent. Hey, Count. Don't get cocky just because your title got bumped up—”
“No, there's no proper cure for it besides something called penicillin! What the hell is that cure of yours?”
I had no idea who the lunatic putting up with Rachel was, but their patience had to be world-class. A five-minute chat with her left me gasping for air.
“Haa... Hey. Private conversations with territory office staff are prohibited. It's on sale right now at the Wind Tower, so quit whining and go buy it there. Private conversations with territory office staff are not permitted. Count. My. Ass.”
“Yes, thank you for your time.”
I gave up too. You offer a lifeline, they dive into the firepit yelling they wanna die—what more could I do?
“Took you a while. Something happen?”
“Nah, looks like the territory office staff changes next month.”
“Where to?”
“Yeah, probably somewhere very far away. Anyway, I was thinking of stopping by the Wind Tower on the way...”
As I chatted with Walter outside the territory office and turned toward the Wind Tower, I spotted a line longer than a rollercoaster queue at an amusement park, with crowds swarming in front of it.
“What the...?”
The territory office and Wind Tower were a short walk apart. I'd rushed straight in earlier out of urgency, so I hadn't paid it any mind. And honestly, there'd been no reason to.
But now, it looked like everyone from the Frederik Dungeon Zone had gathered there—the area outside the Wind Tower was packed.
“Word on the street is the Wind Tower got syphilis meds too. Oh, Stella told us about syphilis via the staff crystal orb group chat.”
“...Let's head to the Wind Tower first.”
“Yes, Director.”
At my words—wait, Miner—Walter left the office behind and approached the Wind Tower's first floor.
The people all suffered from severe rashes, skin ulcers, and the like.
A cure exists...? What the hell...
As Miner tried to enter the first floor, some in the line inside recognized him.
“...Huh? Beauty Tower Master?”
“Ha, even the Beauty Tower Master ain't shit in front of disease?”
“Look at him lining up. Just as expected. Whew, we're lucky we got in line.”
Some grumbled upon spotting me and Walter, others spat curses. But I ignored it completely.
Whether they cursed or not, if there was a syphilis cure in this isekai world besides penicillin, it'd be a monumental historical breakthrough.
And moments later, I noticed men exiting the tower, all clutching a small vial with beaming faces.
“Hey, hold up a sec!”
“What?”
“The line's too long to buy, but could I at least see what the cure looks like?”
“Haha, sure. You'll be shocked.”
The man I stopped puffed out his chest proudly, looking utterly carefree now that he'd secured his cure.
He then carefully drew a vial of shimmering liquid from his bosom like a treasure and showed it off.
My eyes bulged at the sight.
“Th-this is...?”
The man boasted he'd barely snagged the syphilis cure himself—and it was the silvery-white metallic element with atomic symbol Hg, atomic number 80: mercury.
“There, you saw it. I'm out. Bye.”
He turned to leave, but I grabbed his arm.
“Hey, what the hell? Let go!”
He scowled like he'd stepped in shit.
“That's not a cure! Do you even know what that is? Throw it out now!”
“What? You psycho? Want the cure? Get in line! Don't covet mine!”
“No, that's not a cure! Eating or applying that will kill y—”
“What the hell do you think you're doing?!”
“...?”
Then a thunderous roar echoed from inside the Wind Tower.
The voice belonged to Elvin, the 4th Circle mage of the Wind Tower.
“Beauty Tower Master! Even if you're from the East and clueless about manners, there's a limit! Causing a scene at the Wind Tower? Are you insane?”
Elvin glared icily—not alone. Beside him stood Jaden, the fastest leg-cutter from the West Continent, his prized disciple.
“I came because the Wind Tower's selling a syphilis cure, but what the patients are buying is no cure at all!”
“Syphilis? What nonsense are you spouting this time?”
“I mean the dungeon disease.”
Elvin tsked in disbelief and glanced at Jaden instead of replying.
Shing—Shing—
Jaden drew his sharp medical-tool-turned-murder-weapon, and Walter responded by unsheathing his sword.
This could turn into a knife fight any second. Syphilis treatment was priority, so I cut in to end it fast.
“That shimmering liquid you're calling a cure at the Wind Tower? It's mercury. And it's poison!”
“Wha—poison? What're you on about?”
“Not medicine—poison?!”
The crowd buzzed at my shout, Elvin's brow furrowing deeper.
“I wondered what bullshit you'd spew, Beauty Tower Master. The mage who made the mercury already proved its safety.”
“Who said that? Safety? With a heavy metal?”
“Haha, I did. Long time no see, Gold Tower Master. Well, first time meeting in person, actually.”
“...And you are?”
As I faced off with Elvin and Jaden, a man who'd been packaging and selling mercury to syphilis patients inside approached us.
“Didn't expect to meet like this. Owen, Tower Master of the Tower of Exploration. I spotted you from afar last time with my cherished disciple. We got separated in an accident, but seeing her thriving here in the boonies is such a relief.”
Rebecca... he saw her?
Just like Rebecca had spotted him at the conference last time, he'd recognized her too. Bold as hell.
If he knew she was with me, he had to guess I'd heard all about him from her.
“Rebecca's doing better than ever, so no need to worry.”
She'd had a PTSD meltdown and passed out the moment she saw him—what with how much he'd tormented her. Cherished disciple? His bullshit was so fresh it made me wanna orbital-fracture his socket.
But right now, I had to stop this mad scientist from peddling mercury. It was undisputed poison.
“Haha, we'll catch up with Rebecca later. First, about mercury. You wouldn't know in the boonies where the Beauty Tower is, but in our Tower of Exploration region, we use it for all sorts of things.”
“Ahem...”
Elvin's face soured at calling my hospital area the boonies. Beauty Tower or Wind Tower, distance-wise they were much the same.
But Owen didn't care a whit about his words. He pulled out a crystal orb and projected several photos into the air, flipping through them one by one as he explained.
“You know how many murals and portraits still use red paint? Made from cinnabar, the red stone. And that's mercury's raw material.”
“A mage spilling their trade secrets like that?”
“Must be legit. Let's hear him out.”
Owen shrugged at the clueless civilians' murmurs.
“Paint for pictures stays vivid, intense, and clean longer than other colors. So I expanded its use beyond art—to cosmetics for noble ladies.”
Owen twirled his gull-wing mustache and swiped through the crystal orb's projected photos, filled with noblewomen using mercury in makeup.
“The ladies in these photos ate it and applied it. Two drops daily tightens skin, and mixing it into cosmetics makes it whiter than plain makeup.”
“Ooh! Skin that white? This stuff's the best!”
“A few drops for taut skin? Even after curing dungeon disease, I'd keep using it!”
“Right?!”
Owen beamed proudly at the crowd's excitement.
“Haha, exactly. As many say, mercury has tons of uses. But by chance, we found it's super effective for dungeon disease too. These photos show patients treated with mercury.”
He swiped the orb, displaying videos of syphilis rashes vanishing with mercury use.
“These are before-and-afters of patients I treated. Videos, so no faking possible—proof enough.”
“Ooooh! Knew coming to Wind Tower was right!”
“Yeah! Big towers bring in mages from everywhere!”
The patients, now seeing Owen's treatment vids, looked ready to buy mercury and chug it on the spot.
And Owen preened at the sight.
“No wonder Rebecca ran.”
“Wh-what?!”
Ah, slipped out. Better just be straight.
“No, your skills suck.”