Well-Risen Dough is Perfect for a Good Slap (4)
About ten minutes ago.
Angelica, a second-year student at Esdinas Academy, sat quietly in her seat, scanning her surroundings. Women, women, and more women. The place was packed with female students. Even the spots meant for freshmen were all girls, and the seats for returning students were filled with familiar faces. Potential rivals. Up front, they exchanged haha-ho-ho pleasantries and compliments, but behind the scenes, they were all scheming to find flaws and tear each other down. She was no different. But she didn't think it was wrong. Why? Because Esdinas Academy was the world's ultimate battleground for romance.
They called it a hall of learning, but the women who enrolled here had gathered to hook the most outstanding men and marry up. Those at the bottom of the power ladder aimed to wed into higher nobility for an upward match. Those at the top sought husbands of equal caliber—men who wouldn't embarrass them in front of others—as sons-in-law to bring into the family.
The male students were the same. Princes and heirs from powerful noble houses wanted beautiful women from influential families to be their lifelong partners. Those with nothing but talent in swordsmanship or magic were desperate to sell that talent and become sons-in-law in elite houses.
Angelica was no exception. Her only gripe? None of the others quite measured up in her eyes. Especially the current second- and third-year guys—they were downright underwhelming. The decent ones were already engaged or dating someone, and the singles fell into two categories. First: those with such glaring flaws they'd grab their diploma and head home to marry locally. Sure, failing to wed a fellow Esdinas alum might be a minor blemish, but the academy's graduation certificate was still a powerhouse spec on the marriage market. They probably couldn't land a top-tier match like others, though.
And the second type: those hunting for "fresh meat." It was rare for girls, but some guys preferred younger partners. Even a few third-years had openly bragged, "I'm targeting the new 17-year-olds this year!" Yet for all their big talk, hardly any guys had shown up to the freshman welcome.
"It's not like they're losing mana just from girls looking..."
"It doesn't wear out, but they'll get appraised, right?"
"......?"
"Pardon me."
The moment Angelica identified the woman who'd sat beside her, chills shot up her spine.
"Yurha Silverstar?"
"Oh? Do you make a habit of using full names? Lady Angelica Valencia?"
"......What brings you here?"
She couldn't let her voice sharpen—not against someone this dangerous. Vulgar merchants who devoured even noble houses. Lowborn scum who collected "noble bloodlines" inside and outside the academy to pretty up their own inferiority complexes. Money-grubbers with that smug, superior gaze, flashing their mana purses—
"Guh...!"
"You don't seem eager to chat, so let's cut to the chase."
Angelica felt a wave of inferiority wash over her from Yurha. But then—
"You bought a magic lens, didn't you?"
"!!"
Before she could suppress it, her heart plummeted at Yurha's words.
"W-what are you...?"
"No matter how discreetly you buy them through back channels, you can't hide logistics flows. Especially via your butler."
"......."
"Doesn't it occur to you that snapping up all those magic lenses is why the Hall of Courage is empty of guys right now?"
"Ha."
Angelica's voice took on an edge.
"Anyone hearing you might think magic lenses are from a rival company. Isn't that right, Miss Silverstar?"
She tapped her left eye lightly.
"If the lens I'm wearing right now is from your 'fine establishment,' doesn't that make me an excellent customer?"
"You know exactly why I approached you, yet you say that..."
"I don't care if someone enrolls at Esdinas or not. The girl leading these magic lens sales... Lady Dorma... she's an outstanding merchant regardless."
Angelica twisted one corner of her mouth at the still-smiling Yurha.
"Did something go wrong with their product? It's just a tool for spotting prime men."
"Doesn't it cross your mind that the tool's making guys feel sexually inadequate, so they're staying away?"
"Then they shouldn't have developed or sold it in the first place."
Angelica played the hypocrite, but she had her reasons.
"Curious about the price? We can deal. It's used, but I'd need at least 20,000 gold to part with it."
"......."
"Can't swing that? Then don't gripe about others buying and using it. I just want to check the caliber of my future man in advance—"
Screeech.
The door swung open, and in that instant, Angelica could've sworn the entire Hall of Courage lit up like daylight.
"......?"
She whipped her head toward the door. Drawn by the intense flash she couldn't ignore—
Crackle.
"!!"
A shock like her eyes were burning froze her solid. Not literally—her mana lens's magic engraving had "detected" mana so overwhelmingly vast it shattered the array. They'd said it was safe. But with her lens cracking in her eye, how could she just—
"Whoa."
She could. Because in that radiant, sun-like blaze, Angelica had spotted it.
A visual signal screaming that whatever it was radiated heat like a golden sun, brimming with mana too potent for the magic lens to measure.
Thud.
One step forward, and the whole hall seemed to shake—her vision wobbling up and down. No—the steps were light, but Angelica's gaze trembled as she ogled him from head to toe. Even with her lens busted and mana-scanning impossible, she couldn't stop appraising the man who'd burst in.
"That's the special admittee."
Yurha's appraising whisper came from beside her, but Angelica barely registered it. There, a golden sun blazed.
A bronzed male so dazzling it could blind, crafted by a devil from hell's depths to steal women's hearts and drag them to ruin. A stud, prowling the Hall of Courage to pick off women like her, and the moment his touch grazed her, she'd roll over belly-up like a pup meeting its master—
"......Hah?!"
Angelica snapped to. Staring blankly was one thing, but his gaze had locked on her.
"......What? Why's he looking at me?"
Yurha let out a hollow chuckle beside her, but Angelica just snorted inwardly. No—that golden sun was looking at me. One glance had been enough; the shattered lens screaming "broken" in her eye suddenly felt trivial. Even with a year's salary for average folk down the drain, that glimpse of his golden radiance made it worth it.
"......."
If I can claim that man... I can surpass even Yurha Silverstar right here.
Angelica's instincts screamed it. And she wasn't the only woman thinking it.
* * *
As expected.
The moment I stepped in and released a bit of mana, several pairs of eyes locked on immediately.
Wearing lens-type magic scouts already. They rolled out faster than I thought.
The original story was derailed. This gear wasn't supposed to appear until third year, but at least 30 were sporting them now.
Feel a tad guilty.
Early adopters probably shelled out a fortune, only for the magic circle to fry from one look at me.
But hey, it's basically X-ray specs. Gotta block the sexual harassment upfront.
Those lenses were like thermal cameras. They visualized mana flows in the body, highlighting concentrations—and the shape they formed. Most guys just couldn't show up.
Even the few dragged out here were hunched like they'd fused with their chairs.
Swish.
I took the front seat prepped for the special admittee. Empty on both sides, but I'd strode in boldly under everyone's gaze, drawing it all to me.
Wondering, aren't you?
A new face in freshman uniform? They'd peg me as the special case. And the question: Why special admission?
During the ceremony, they'd all speculate. But whether they'd thermal-scanned my yang qi or just eyed me up visually—
"That guy's..."
"Don't touch it, you bitch. I'll..."
"...what do you think?"
With enhanced hearing, vulgar chatter flooded in.
"Did you see? It looked like... that big already?"
"Think about it. That's pre-'full charge'."
"No way..."
Blatant appraisals from behind, even with me right there up front.
And amid it—
"......."
A few returning male students behind me shot me complicated looks. I nodded curtly their way, then glanced back.
"??"
They puzzled over my gaze, turned—and realized.
"......!!"
99% of the stares weren't on them, but me. And those whose eyes met theirs flicked right back to me.
"Ah."
They got it. My arrival had halted all the leering and mockery aimed their way.
I'll remember your faces well.
For stepping up when no other guys would.
Time to bestow Duke of Hell [Gerdra]'s grace upon you.
Earthworms now, but by graduation, you'd make fine earth worms.
—Listen well, Contractor of Blue Flame.
One of Hell's dukes had told me that.
—Once you steal women's hearts, you'll become the enemy of men. The instant you build your harem of heroines, jealousy will rain down.
—But there's a way to keep them from being outright foes, if not full allies.
Hell's duke, the great earth lord Hydra, shared the method.
—[Extension Kegel]. Yeah, the name's blatantly on-the-nose.
—A earth secret art that cycles muscle destruction and regeneration to extend specific parts. But for some men, it's pure salvation.
—Slather on the potion. By 20 at graduation, you'll match your age in length.
—Sounds good, right? Women get all puffy, so why shouldn't men stretch too? Puhuhu. Bigger mana purse means the syringe filling it needs harmony.
—You'll be the savior of every bowed head. I can make any man hit 20cm.
—Think moai stone worship sprang up for nothing?