39. Let's Go See the Doctor
Murmurs and whispers ripple around me and Lion. Of course, it's all because this Tyranno-sama's looks are just that outstanding—wherever I go, I'm the center of rumors and attention. But this time, the spotlight's pulling in Lion too.
"Heh heh heh♥ Feels great."
Every step down the pristine white halls of Darkness draws more eyes. Man, when was the last time I soaked up gazes like this—full of envy and admiration? It's been so long it almost feels fresh. Just a few days ago, I was basking in looks of awe like it was breakfast, lunch, and dinner. But with so much craziness crammed into these last couple days, it feels like ancient history now.
Still, everything worked out perfectly, so all good! And from here on, I get to boss Lion around like my personal slave too!
"C'mon, you loser♥! Doctor's waiting!"
I jiggle the dog collar in my hand to hurry Lion along.
"Ughhh... Can't you just take this collar off? It's so tight."
Lion tugs at the collar around her neck—it's literally the only thing she's wearing. "Plus, everyone's staring... it's kinda embarrassing..."
Heh heh heh, of course it is. Strutting through a building in broad daylight with nothing but a dog collar? That'd shame anyone. Even a thick-skinned iron-face like Lion would blush crawling on all fours with a mesugaki holding her leash in front of people she knows.
But no mercy from me. Sure, with this Tyranno-sama's Mediterranean-wide heart, I forgave all her rude, horrific sins. She was so moved she bawled like a seven-year-old kid. But forgiveness doesn't erase the grudge entirely♥ She's gotta be my plaything for a while♥
"Nuh-uh♥ No way♥ Not happening♥ You promised to obey everything I say♥ Hurry up, loser cat♥"
"Grrmph..."
Lion hangs her head and shuffles forward. I grip the leash and trail behind, eyes locked on that massive ass jiggling with every step. Huh? There's some clear liquid trailing along the floor in a long streak. What's that? Looks like someone dragged a puddle behind them.
"Hyah! Move it, kitty!"
"Wuong-ae!"
I yank the leash side to side, and Lion lets out a weird strangled moan as it chokes her a bit.
"Heh♥ Loser cat can't even walk right♥ No different from a whiny baby♥ Guess I'll just carry you♥"
I scoop up the small, warm black kitten into my arms.
Hmm, uncle playing with his niece, huh? Obviously Lion's the niece and I'm the uncle—wiser, smarter, more knowledgeable than her.
"I thought I was gonna die of shame."
Lion burrows deeper into my arms. Squirming black kitten... those pink paw pads... pale pink belly... so adorbs! That chubby little black butt's so cute I wanna chomp it. What? You thought I meant her human form with just a collar? Pfft, no way a real pervert parades naked outdoors like that♥ That's barbarian woman legend territory♥
"Sorry..." The janitor mops up the floor with a mop. Oh, so that liquid was just water.
"Uwushuwu, my loser kitty♥ You pooped out♥"
I rock the pathetic kitty back and forth.
"That was mentally exhausting."
She wandered around fine as a cat all this time. Now one human form and she's shy about cat mode? Maybe I should get her some clothes. She's lived as a cat forever, but now she can go human, so her thoughts on outfits might've changed.
"Hmm..."
Online shops have tons of cute cat clothes. Maybe buy her one? Like a wizard's black pointed hat from a fairy tale, or outfits with sleeves that look like human dolls from the front. Cop, teddy bear, nurse—so many cute options.
"Hey, Lion. Wanna get some cat clothes?"
"Cat clothes?"
"Yeah. Saw a bunch of cute stuff online lately."
"Hmm... How about we go down to Earth later and check 'em out?"
"Earth? Gotta go all the way there? Too much hassle—can't we just order delivery?"
You might wonder about delivery from Earth to Darkness, but one of the few Earthlings allowed in is the Taepodong delivery guy. Why? Those tentacle monsters that grab and turn magical girls into meat toilets? They got peak and off-peak seasons. When complaints roll in like "Do we really need tentacle monsters? There are exhibitionist pervs who get caught on purpose just to get ravaged," they hit off-season.
But you can't just let 'em slack, so delivery contracts send tentacle crews for loading/unloading. Hundreds of tentacles finish the job fast—saves the company labor costs, keeps our idle tentacles busy, and we get our packages. Plus, tentacle monsters are technically female. They game like Niriji or booze with pork belly after work—total working girls. But with squid kids and octopus hubbies at home, they reluctantly tentacle-harass same-sex women. Better than unloading grunt work, right? Complaints from groping other women dropped big time after this system started.
Anyway, thanks to the tentacle loading deal between Darkness and the delivery firm, we get packages here too.
"Online you see more stuff. Cheaper and easier."
"B-but walking around shopping IRL gets you better picks. Online sizes suck and quality's meh."
"Hmm... Annoying."
She's right—seeing stuff in person means better buys. But Earth's a trek. As I mull it over, Lion adds:
"How 'bout this? I get my clothes, you get yours too. Then yummy food, movie date. Seen the new one? Mesugaki Executive in a Gender-Reversed World with Magical Girls. Swept the Academy Awards with a hundred wins and topped Billboard charts—a masterpiece."
"Oh yeah? Guess we gotta then."
Mesugaki Executive in a Gender-Reversed World with Magical Girls. The title alone screams blockbuster.
"Alright, Earth shopping trip later."
"Great idea."
Lion nestles comfy in my arms. Holding this tiny warm kitty feels like cradling a newborn.
"Yasss, date time."
"Huh? What'd you say?"
"Nothing. Didn't say a word."
Pretty sure I heard something. Imagination?
Chatting away, we reach our spot: Doctor's lab! Not the main central one from before—this is a mini-lab right next door. Size-wise, like a uni research room. She said she built it fresh 'cause of me. Probably 'cause I totally cracked her pathetic security, so this is a temp fix?
"Oh, you're here."
Doctor waits at the door, limbs dangling limp as noodles, clothes reeking of reagents and coffee.
"C'mon in, slurrrp."
She tilts her mug.
"Doctor, whatcha drinking? Something yummy?"
"This? Coffee, hot six, and Monsta mixed. Tasty."
Whoa... all three are no-sleep potions? Loads of caffeine or whatever.
"But Doctor, you do jack shit—why're you always wiped?"
Never seen her work. All she thinks about is slacking more or dodging HQ tasks. Yet those dark circles hit her knees daily. She could sleep like a rock with no duties. Even approvals are solar-powered robot stamps on her arm. Meetings? "Video calls this era," she says, propping up a cardboard cutout of herself. Think others don't notice it's fake?
"Tch, say I do nothing? I handle tons of super important stuff."
"Like what?"
"Uh... the hot metaverse thing. Y'know, a 3D virtual space mirroring real society and economy... but old-school, real-time data swap between two devices via computer language, linked CPU to remote terminal over comms lines. Lotsa people on it."
Hmm... loser Doctor's words make zero sense. Nah, I get what she's saying— just a lil fuzzy. As if this genius Tyranno-sama wouldn't know. Metaverse... aha! Bus that burns maids! Setting national treasures ablaze—evil, terrifying bus for sure.
"Just no-sleep gaming on the computer. Why talk all fancy? Scammer vibes?"
"N-nooo, it's metaverse! Real thing! Metaverse, y'know?"
"Scammers hawking get-rich-quick schemes always yap that crap, right?"
"What? Doctor's a scammer?!"
Thought she was just useless trash. Turns out she's a criminal loser too? I didn't raise her like that! Time for love's whip. But what if metaverse burns it? Love's sparrow instead. Doctor's face hardens.
Oh. Pissed?
"Me? Hearing this from you, Lion? Getting mad now. Tyranno, wait outside. Lion's mine."
"Uh, uh, yeah. Here."
I shove Lion out quick. Loser Doctor looked scary as hell. She grabs the collar like a mom cat with a kitten by the scruff and drags her inside. Looked more like hauling trash to me.
...Big crashes from inside—are they just having fun without me?
"Doctor! Lion! Me too!"
I burst in with my surprise gift—this cute lovable Tyranno-sama!
"Ah!"
"Eh?!"
Huh? Why's a missile right in my face?
-BOOM!